Consulting job that requires constant travel

[Sarah&Ryan]

Does your husband (or wife) travel weekly for their job?

We have a difficult decision ahead of us. DH has been searching for a job for a while now and has just gotten an offer, but it will require him to be gone at least Mon - Thurs every week. Occasionally it could be for 2-3 weeks at a time.

We are a very tight family and I am worried about how that could change if he takes this job. How has life changed for those of you who have a spouse who travels weekly? Are there any tips or advice you can give us?

My husband works for a major company and his job is 100% travel. Depending on his project that he is on he can travel all over the United States and sometimes out of the country! Right now he is in San Francisco Mon-Thurs and he gets home Friday morning around 3am.

We have 3 children together so at times it is very very stressful for me that he travels so much but he makes an excellent salary that makes it possible for me to stay home and take care of our boys. Also depending on the company that your husband is looking into I would suggest him asking what kind of vacation time he can get. My DH gets 5 weeks and I think 7 days of personal days.

Travel is not for everyone but with the lack of jobs available sometimes you do what you need to do to survive. GL and if u have any questions feel free to PM me!

 

[Peanut Giggleface]

My husband got a similar job shortly after our daughter was born. With one child, it was pretty easy on me while he was gone. However after my son was born it became EXTREMELY difficult having him gone so much. The first few years with the two children was so exhausting mentally and physically.

My kids are older now and we've gotten used to the routine and now it's easier having him on the road than home. Now don't jump all over me!!!! You see my kids and I have a routine and a way of doing things that works for us. When my husband is home the kids and I have to readjust. Not that that is bad, it's just a state of constant transition.

The plus side of this is because he travels so often, we often vacation for pretty close to free. With frequent flyer miles and hotel points (Marriott is the best) we can go pretty much anywhere we want (read frequent Disney vacations). So it's not all bad.

I do like what another poster had to say about being strong mentally and emotionally. If you're not, it just won't work. Best wishes on your decision.

 

[mom2brina]

I am not sure if your DH is currently unemployed, but don't be so quick to accept the first offer. I work for one of the big consulting firms and we are hiring like gang busters and from what I know we are offering big $$$ to new hires and if we recruit someone we also get a big bonus. Our referral bonuses are between $5K and $12K! If he hasn't already accepted he should shop the offer around to other competitors just to make sure it is the best money he can get for the travel. Finding competent people willing to travel 4 days/3 nights a week is hard and we do pay handsomely for people to do that. If his offer is from a mid market firm, then definitely hit up the bigs first.

Great info to know. Just out of curiosity ... do you know why they are doing a lot of hiring?

 

[Claire&TheBoys]

My husband is an Army Reservist and just got done with a one-year stint on Active Duty at a base about 3.5 hours from our home. The Army provided him with an apartment and paid him per diem but our children and I stayed at home. He would come home about twice per month for the weekend. A couple of times he took a 4-day pass and was home for almost 4 whole days. I have a large support network of family and church family, but it is still draining and exhausting to be the only parent in the house. We have 2 young sons and I think they always knew they out-numbered me. It's hard to be the disciplinarian all the time, always being the one to do the household chores, dealing with all the school and church functions alone. Even with my family and friends, there's no substitute for a parent. One hard thing for us was that my husband was so used to the quiet of his apartment it was hard for him to adjust to the noise and chaos of our house. Of course he missed us, and we missed him, but it was hard going back and forth between him being here and not being here. It was very hard on both me and our children. So, if I had the choice, no, I would be leery of my husband having a regular job that was always going to involve him being gone most of the week. It's tough on family life.

 

[crisi]

Great info to know. Just out of curiosity ... do you know why they are doing a lot of hiring?

I don't know which firm she works for - but we have consulting dollars to spend and can't get any of the big ones to call us back. They just don't have enough people for the dollars as the dollars start to free up.

For us - its IT consulting we are looking for. But a lot of companies are starting to move back into spend mode, and they'd rather start with consulting rather than with hiring (we are doing both) - but you need to have the consultants to place.

 

[prncess674]

Great info to know. Just out of curiosity ... do you know why they are doing a lot of hiring?

I don't know which firm she works for - but we have consulting dollars to spend and can't get any of the big ones to call us back. They just don't have enough people for the dollars as the dollars start to free up.

For us - its IT consulting we are looking for. But a lot of companies are starting to move back into spend mode, and they'd rather start with consulting rather than with hiring (we are doing both) - but you need to have the consultants to place.

Yes, companies went on spending freezes in the past few years and are now trying to get back in the swing of things. Many companies cut employees down to the bone, but they never thought about how to train these people to do more with less. I work on large financial systems and we are now doing much needed upgrades for clients and are doing process studies to improve efficiency of workers so they can work in this new world.

Even companies who weren't necessarily in need of putting spending freezes in place weren't spending in years past due to the fact that it looked bad for the company, so now all the projects they put on hold for the last few years are now high priority to get the money rolling again.

To the OP you mentioned that your DH's job is looking like it may be moving to cheaper labor in India. That is the case in many jobs, but an area he may want to look into is being the US manager of overseas resources. We have moved plenty of development work to India, which I know is not popular here on the DIS, but it is smart business sense. Even if it takes twice as long and still needs to be reviewed by a US resource it is still cheaper than hiring a US based worker to do some of this low value IT coding.

 

[Disneycrazymom]

Many businesses like to bring in a consultant as they are well trained and can come in do the job and be gone. It save them money. They aren't paying insurance ect. Just an hourly rate and usually for a short amount of time.

 

[disykat]

I actually know families where one spouse travels for work who have moved to our area - specifically because of the military and maritime jobs here. They wanted to live where a traveling spouse was normal. It's really common here. Of my close friends, my dh is the only one who doesn't travel pretty regularly for work and he does it occasionally.

 

[DebMcDonald]

I had a husband that did this for a living, we have three kids and I was a stay a home mom and who daycare out of our home. I think because I was home it was easier, but by no stretch was it "easy". It took a toll on us, our marriage and our relationship as a family, of course we survived, but there were lots of day when I just needed him and he was not there. I think if he had to do this and if I had to work outside the home, it would not have worked, because the pressure on me would have just been too high. He got laid off from that job, so he went from barely being home to being home 24/7, talk about taking a toll on the relationship .

Because a job is a good thing and you will learn to survive, just take baby steps.

 

[erincon23]

I'm glad to see this thread! We may be in the same position -- DH has been unemployed for about 15 months, and a friend (who stood up in our wedding) got him attached to a consulting firm that is doing work with the friend's company. For right now, he just has to go to downtown Chicago on the train M-Th, but if he gets hired with this consulting firm permanently, he could be sent anywhere in the country. One of the guys he works with right now lives in Dallas and does the commute thing. I think we're in a good position to manage this type of life -- our kids are freshman in high school and freshman in college, so one of them won't be home come this fall and the other is pretty self-sufficient. We're actually considering moving to somewhere more "interesting" (read warmer) once the younger one graduates from high school if he takes this job, since he could be based anywhere. But I think this would have been very difficult if a job like this had come up when the kids were younger -- he wouldn't have wanted to miss all their "things" since all he ever wanted to be was a dad.

 

[shamrock30]

Many businesses like to bring in a consultant as they are well trained and can come in do the job and be gone. It save them money. They aren't paying insurance ect. Just an hourly rate and usually for a short amount of time.

Yep, after a long bout of unemployment, DH is doing (IT) consulting. The first assignment was local, but the second requires about 50% travel. For the first time in his (almost) 30 year career, he has to travel AND live without benefits. We're grateful for the work though. We don't know when he'll get a permanent job, but at least it looks like he won't be unemployed again anytime soon.

 

[bored]

there is zero chance I would take a job that required that much travel. My kids are only small once and being physically gone from them 60% of the time is not something I would consider. No amount of money or stuff in my opinion is worth the time lost. For me it's not an option but to each his own.

 

[mom2brina]

there is zero chance I would take a job that required that much travel. My kids are only small once and being physically gone from them 60% of the time is not something I would consider. No amount of money or stuff in my opinion is worth the time lost. For me it's not an option but to each his own.

Yeah, I used to feel this way too, but circumstances change and job security is important.

prncess674 & crisi - thanks for the insight. I've done a bit more research and came across this article which states the same. It makes it sound like the future is looking up.

http://www.consultingmag.com/article/ART651963T?C=qSR946M8sKBZBmZo

 

[bumbershoot]

Yeah, I used to feel this way too, but circumstances change

Yep. Said it twice here, never thought we'd do it, but here we are.

Turns out that for us, contracting with no job security, no benefits, no insurance, no nothin' but money AND a 2 hour each way commute, is WORSE!

 

[prncess674]

there is zero chance I would take a job that required that much travel. My kids are only small once and being physically gone from them 60% of the time is not something I would consider. No amount of money or stuff in my opinion is worth the time lost. For me it's not an option but to each his own.

Honestly it isn't all bad and many of the people who have worked on similar projects in town verses out of town actually prefer the OOT consulting work. When you work OOT for 3 nights you can spend all your time concentrating on the work and then are home 4 nights. How is it any worse than many people who live in the burbs of DC and get up at 5am and leave before the kids get up to sit in traffic then do the reverse in the evening and don't get home till 7 or 7:30pm which then gives them maybe an hour in the evening.

If you can work a 9-5 and be home at 5:15 and still bring in a healthy six figures then you are lucky, consulting pays wells because there are sacrifices, but there are rewards for the whole family: first class top notch vacation, private school, no stress about paying for school activities, college education, etc.

 

[goosedwn]

Dh travels quite a bit, at least one week every month. We have 2 young kids one in grade school and one in preschool. It is hard for me. I feel like a single mom when he is away but I don't work so I can not imagine how life would be for real single moms out there. Back when we only had one kid, I packed and lived with my in laws for the week he was gone since my older was still in preschool then. If I have a choice, I would not want him to travel but we have to live, we need food on the table every day, we need to pay bills every month. It is the reality. Good thing is he calls all the time when he is away to talk with the kids and me to keep us connect.

 

[mom2brina]

Turns out that for us, contracting with no job security, no benefits, no insurance, no nothin' but money AND a 2 hour each way commute, is WORSE!

Exactly ... in reality, if you look at the total number of hours he will be missing with the kids it is probably less than 6-8 hours a week, between his current commute time and all of their after school activities. Not to say that those hours aren't important, but the tradeoff that the job provides is probably worth it in our opinion. It will be a tough transition if it works out this way, but with a little bit of creative planning we can make it work.

Honestly, when I started the thread I thought I was going to see a bunch of horror stories, but I'm glad to see that it works for so many other families.

 

[gillep]

WOW what an appropriate thread for me right now.

5 years ago my DH started at one of the big 5 consulting firms right out of college. He was working out of the NY office but he was staffed in D.C. he flew down to D.C. every monday morning and flew back to N.Y. every Friday evening (sometimes Thursday Evening). Honestly, it takes some getting used to but it really isn't that bad. I work full time as well so it really wasn't that bad with him not being home on weekdays. After a year and a half of doing this DH and I relocated to D.C. as he had obtained a clearance and we felt confident that most of his jobs would be in the D.C. area. We have been here about 4 years now. Now it looks like my job is moving to Houston TX. It is a great opportunity for me however, it means DH will need to travel again. I am not that worried about the travel as now that DH is higher up in the company he can work from home more so instead of traveling every week he will only need to travel 2 weeks a month and will be able to work remotely.

There are some huge perks to this lifestyle

- air miles and hotel points are awesome (DH's company will put them up anywhere he usually stayed in the Grand Hyatt in D.C. right in metro center every week for 2 years, he company also does not make you take layovers EVER)

- if the company has them corporate perks are awesome, DH had so many we were able fix up our house with new paint hardware etc when we moved in just in corporate perks points

- great discounts on car rentals/ free insurance

We are actually really thankful that DH works for the company he does right now as when my company said they were relocating and wanted me to come we knew that DH would be able to transfer offices from D.C. to Houston no problem; whereas all of my coworkers need to look at getting their significant others jobs before they consider the relocation.

As far as the consulting lifestyle goes each firm is very different so make sure your DH feels like this one is a good fit for him. I would be much less worried about the traveling than the work-life balance, that he can expect when he starts. The consultants that I know (DH included) work 24/7. He will respond to emails at all hours of the day or night and at his firm this is expected. My DH lives for this constant stimulation and I am very independent so it doesn't bother me, in fact I don't notice it anymore (we were at WDW in January and our first day there he sent 135 emails, if you had asked me I would have said maybe he sent 6). Make sure that if you are expecting that when he comes home he is all yours that this is possible with the firm you are looking at. Especially when DH was just starting out and trying to prove himself he was working insane hours even on the weekends when he was supposed to be home with me. For the first 3+ years he worked he never took a day off, he worked on Christmas, Birthdays, 4th of July ... Work life balence I have found to be the hardest thing to deal with as the wife of a consultant, but for us the positives outweigh the negatives so much as DH loves his job we have great benefits and a ton of perks.

 

[bumbershoot]

Exactly ... in reality, if you look at the total number of hours he will be missing with the kids it is probably less than 6-8 hours a week, between his current commute time and all of their after school activities. Not to say that those hours aren't important, but the tradeoff that the job provides is probably worth it in our opinion.

That's such a good point. DS has a later bedtime, specifically so he can spend around 2 hours per evening with DH. Another friend of mine had her DD in bed by 7 every night...for us that would have meant DH would never spend time with DS during the weeks, because that's about when he gets home.

So yeah, 2 hours per weeknight...not that it's not important, but it's a job, first and foremost...and it gets his brain moving (he's a product tester, is learning all about cellular phone technology and wifi and all that), gets his urges for techie gear taken care of, and we should be able to take our next WDW trip using miles for the airfare...hard to beat that.


And now that his middle-manager is gone, moved to a team that's a better fit for her, his manager is able to have them travel on weekdays instead of the weekends that the middle-manager liked to make them travel on. So that's nice, too!

Sorry to be talking SO much on this thread, but it's what we're living right now, and it's nice to be able to talk with those who know about it. My extended family and MIL cannot stand that he has this job, they think it's the crime of the century and will be the demise of our family, and for whatever reason they just refuse to believe us when we tell them that it's working out very well for us.

 

[Donaldswife]

That's such a good point. DS has a later bedtime, specifically so he can spend around 2 hours per evening with DH. Another friend of mine had her DD in bed by 7 every night...for us that would have meant DH would never spend time with DS during the weeks, because that's about when he gets home.

So yeah, 2 hours per weeknight...not that it's not important, but it's a job, first and foremost...and it gets his brain moving (he's a product tester, is learning all about cellular phone technology and wifi and all that), gets his urges for techie gear taken care of, and we should be able to take our next WDW trip using miles for the airfare...hard to beat that.


And now that his middle-manager is gone, moved to a team that's a better fit for her, his manager is able to have them travel on weekdays instead of the weekends that the middle-manager liked to make them travel on. So that's nice, too!

Sorry to be talking SO much on this thread, but it's what we're living right now, and it's nice to be able to talk with those who know about it. My extended family and MIL cannot stand that he has this job, they think it's the crime of the century and will be the demise of our family, and for whatever reason they just refuse to believe us when we tell them that it's working out very well for us.

I know what you mean by that. I have been told this will ruin my marriage (it hasn't) and it has been insinuated by several different friends and family that if my DH is away 4 nights a week that he will resort to cheating on me to find fulfillment. Seriously, people say this to me and they have no idea what they are talking about. They act as if men who are at home every night can't cheat. This life is definitely not for everybody, but it is working out fine for us. For some reason people I talk to just can't accept that.

OP, I'm not going to sugar coat. There will be bad days, you will miss him, but it does not feel like the end of the world! Would I prefer him to be home? Absolutely! But this is the career he wanted, and I fully support him. I work full time at my job, handle the house, DD9 and two dogs while he is away, and things are going pretty well. You need to have a certain type of independent personality, but it can work out just fine!