Constant request for donations

[kaytieeldr]

I don't mind them. I just say "sorry" and smile if I don't have cash on hand or don't want to.

"No, thank you" works even better (I'm reluctant to apologize when I'm not sorry).

 

[rparmfamily]

"No, thank you" works even better (I'm reluctant to apologize when I'm not sorry).

I say that too. I am sorry I can't give everyone money though. My own family needs some of that cash too LOL.

 

[lucigo]

I don't care if you flame me, but people are just trying to help other people. Just say no if you don't want to donate. You might feel differently if you or someone you loved could be helped by one of these charities.

That was my first thought but I didn't want to sound angry, you put it in a nice way

 

[Pigeon]

That was my first thought but I didn't want to sound angry, you put it in a nice way

Well, let's think about that for a moment. There are many hundreds of charities out there, and it seems like at least half of them are soliciting these days. I think everyone alive has a friend or relative who has been touched by cancer of various types, MS, ALS, cystic fibrosis, mental illness, heart disease, stroke, liver disease, etc.

I'm a breast cancer survivor. I'm tired of all the breast cancer solicitations. I just think the constant solicitation thing is overdone.

As for the fundraising, I won't do it for my own kids. I'm certainly not doing it for other people's kids. If I want them to participate in an activity, I pay for it.

I'm another person who is sick to death of getting hounded by the United Way at work. Forget it.

I think we have gotten in a very odd mindset re the fundraising. I got stuck on the religious education committee for my old church, which was a very wealthy congregation. Yet the ladies running the committee were insistent that we had to do fundraising for every single activity that kids in the church wanted to do. It just made no sense to me. Why should we ask the families to buy overpriced crap, or worse, buy ingredients and waste their time baking, so as to avoid asking them to just pay for their kids activities??? Needless to say, I didn't last long on the committee...

 

[jeankeri]

I agree with the poster who said it's hard to know what the group's overhead is and how much help they are really giving. I have stopped giving to 'check-out charities' for that reason. I do not feel guilty, and at this point I have had plenty of time to practice my pat answer, "No, I wouldn't".

 

[Mrs.Reese]

Oh I hate the "you can wear jeans if you donate $2" at work. With $$ as tight as it is for some of us, the only way I can be somewhat casual is to pay for it? I donate my time and money directly to a local homeless shelter. The people on the street? The store things? Who knows where that goes? Nope, I give my money to organizations that I can research and see how it's being used.

 

[LuckyMamaInDE]

For the piddly requests, I say "not today" or "no thank you."

For the kids shaking cans outside the grocery store, I say "I pay for my own children to participate in their activities."

We donate to groups who give receipts. We do save pennies all year for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society's Pennies for Patients drive. Dd8's best friend is a leukemia survivor (as is her twin sister).

 

[Katlyn]

We had a fundraiser this weekend for our local Cancer Unit. While we didn't raise as much as we wanted to, I appreciated the people that said No Thank You more than the ones that just ignored us or gave us the evil eye. I totally understand if someone can't give at a specific time. The best part of the day was when a nice lady stopped by and thanked us for all we did as her husband has cancer and undergoing treatments now. That just made our whole day better.

 

[breezy1077]

If they don't ask, they won't get.

It's hardly an affront to people who don't have the money to give (charity starts at home in most cases). It's just people trying to help people I'd rather have more control of who gets my money than the gov't who gives it away as they see fit.

 

[Todd&Copper]

I hate being asked every time at the grocery store check-out if I want to dnate (and at the Kmart register, too, now that I think about it, and the PetCo - geez!) but I always just say, "not today, thanks." I kind of hate the kids selling stuff for scouts or school circling like vultures outside of stores - I try to use a door they are not congregating around, but if I have to pass them, I just say "no thanks." I heard some very rude teenagers outside my grocery, mocking people who said no, so I pretended to be on a cell phone and faced away from them as I walked out. Luckily, they were reeling some old lady in so I escaped without drawing their ire.

 

[LisaNJ25]

I hate being asked every time at the grocery store check-out if I want to dnate (and at the Kmart register, too, now that I think about it, and the PetCo - geez!) but I always just say, "not today, thanks." I kind of hate the kids selling stuff for scouts or school circling like vultures outside of stores - I try to use a door they are not congregating around, but if I have to pass them, I just say "no thanks." I heard some very rude teenagers outside my grocery, mocking people who said no, so I pretended to be on a cell phone and faced away from them as I walked out. Luckily, they were reeling some old lady in so I escaped without drawing their ire.

 

[marthachick]

 

[ZPT1022]

I totally agree with you. The worst is when they hound you at work. The United Way is my best example. I work at home but my boss and secretary are in the office. They only get dress down day on Friday if all of us in our group contribute to the United Way. Talk about blackmail. It's fine if that is the charity you choose but I believe that charity is a personal decision and not one to be forced into by your employer. I often wonder what the United Way does to force all these employers into cooperating? My husband gets it where he works too.

What is the deal with the United Way?? I had one job that tried to force everyone into it, and I remember asking my mother about it and she told me about a job she had back in the 70's that was really into it too. Since she said she preferred to give to other charities she basically never advanced anymore after that. I just don't understand their influence.

I don't care if you flame me, but people are just trying to help other people. Just say no if you don't want to donate. You might feel differently if you or someone you loved could be helped by one of these charities.

I'm not flaming you but everyone can't be expected to give to every charity that comes calling. You might have things that are near and dear to you and I might have things that are near and dear to me. It's neither right nor wrong. Personally, I choose to donate to things that impact me personally, ie the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society, in honor of my cousin and my Dad respectively.

That was DD and I this weekend, although we didn't really do much besides stand at our table and wait for people to come to us. DD did dress up in the cookie costume but neither her nor I are really the shout "Buy cookies!" type.

I will say as a complete aside that I'm really proud of DD's brownie troop. Ever since I've had them as Daisies, we've talked a lot about soldiers and honoring them and trying to brighten their day. We've sent care packages and whatnot over the last few years but this year they have gotten really into the Cookies for the Troops program. They found out how many soldiers are stationed overseas from CT (1,595) and they made the goal to send at least one box of cookies to each of them. They made a banner with an icon to represent each soldier as well. They're more than 1/3 of the way to their goal

and yes I realize that this is fundraising too

 

[Mocharilla]

Just popping in to say I totally agree. It drives me nuts.

My cousin is in girl scouts, so we buy cookies from her. Then there's a million people trying to get me to buy "Just one!".

And it drives me nuts at cash registers. Especially when they're like "Are you sure? It's just x amount!". I want to be like "Listen, I'm a college student, with a son at home, trying to plan a wedding on a $5K budget out of our own pockets, and gas is rediculous! BACK OFF!". I think I'd scare the cashier though, especially since I might start crying, since I tend to when I get worked up.

 

[sarahlovesmickey]

I hate to be a meanie but I bet that on average I am being solicited for donations 3 to 4 times a week anymore.

The latest is the Senior Prom for the local High School. There is some kind of charity thing going on where you buy a pizza kit from Little Ceasers and then you can either specify a certain kid to get the credit, or let it go into some kind of general fund. There are 17 year olds all over the place trying to peddle cheap, bad tasting pizza. Well, I'm ALL FOR having kids go to their Senior Proms. But maybe -- just maybe -- if they just held something reasonable instead of a $150 ticket per head extravaganza, the kids would be able to afford their Senior Proms without having to fundraise. $300 per couple BEFORE the kids buy their clothes, flowers, limo, and dinner.

Again, I know I sound really pissy, but if they can't afford it, why should strangers have to "donate" for them to have it? We're not talking starving orphans or baby seals here. Teens having a big party is just not my idea of a "charity."

I go by one stoplight every weekday morning that is a frequent target. I hate having strangers outside my car windows shaking the cans at me.

That is utterly ridiculous!!!! Whatever happened to having a part time job in high school to fund your own freakin' prom??? Sorry, but I got honor roll grades, played sports, and worked part time. What has happened to the motivation level in some teens???? UGH!

 

[Mocharilla]

That is utterly ridiculous!!!! Whatever happened to having a part time job in high school to fund your own freakin' prom??? Sorry, but I got honor roll grades, played sports, and worked part time. What has happened to the motivation level in some teens???? UGH!

Agreed! Yeah, my HS Prom was REDICULOUS in cost. But I didn't get people to donate the money to us! DF and I saved money and worked for our ticket.

And, you know, we did the unthinkable, and drove ourselves instead of a limo. We were one of maybe 5 couples to do so. We went to HS in a very wealthy district, although I was OOD, and his parents live in the only middle-class area of the district.

 

[sk8ingmom]

Just my $.02 - I'm a professional fundraiser. Before you flame me...I'm not the person who calls you, I'm the person who builds relationships with major donors, writes foundation proposals, and develops sponsorship opportunities.
Here is my take. I don't give to the come-to-the-door, or buy-a-shamrock type of things. I personally believe that philanthropy should be deliberate, significant, and meaningful. Significant can be different things to different people - could be $10 or $10 million.

I totally agree with you. The worst is when they hound you at work. The United Way is my best example. I work at home but my boss and secretary are in the office. They only get dress down day on Friday if all of us in our group contribute to the United Way. Talk about blackmail. It's fine if that is the charity you choose but I believe that charity is a personal decision and not one to be forced into by your employer. I often wonder what the United Way does to force all these employers into cooperating? My husband gets it where he works too.

It's not United Way - it is your company. United Ways are local, independently run organizations, but United Way of America doesn't encourage 100% participation-type contests or perks. If they do your local UW is in violation of their agreement with national. If a company insists on doing something like that, the standard should be that everyone is asked once and receives a pledge form. If you have been coerced into giving, you can get the money back, no questions asked. Just contact your local United Way.

Also, about the "why pay the middle man" I would encourage people to check out their local UW web site. They do way more than pass money through to other organizations.

Everyone should give to the organizations or causes that they are passionate about. If it isn't my organization, that is fine, but I still encourage them to give somewhere. Rising tide lifts all boats.

 

[meandtheguys2]

Kids peddling junk so they can have a treat/trip of some sort is just wrong in my book. And I can't believe the prom fundraising! Or the people to people type trips.

I worked with kids that benefitted from the Christmas Tree lists. I do know the kids in our county that received had nothing. We were usually buying their hats and mittens out of pocket.

However, I always donate a buck to Children's Miracle Netword (provided many of the necessaries in my nieces NICU) and Make a Wish. So, I guess they do because of people like me. Sorry....

Most of our donations are planned, though.

 

[ZPT1022]

My cousin is in girl scouts, so we buy cookies from her. Then there's a million people trying to get me to buy "Just one!".

That's really rude. DH and my mom bring the form to work, people know they have it if they're interested. DD is allowed to call a few close family members (my brothers, her other grandmother, and her godmother and godfather). We did participate in a cookie booth for the first time this past weekend, but neither DD nor myself are the yelling, shouting,trying to make people feel bad type. Maybe we'd have been warmer standing out there, but it's not my thing

Sorry you've been having a bad experience. I know that's not supposed to be how it happens but maybe our area is just more laid back.

I did find it funny at the cookie booth that since we were outside at a strip mall, people would drive up to the curb like it was a drive through

 

[Kickapoo Joie Juice]

Yeah, I think it's going to cause an eventual backlash because people are going to end up with charity fatigue.

OTOH, I think the dollar here, dollar there strategy is effective for people who DON'T regularly donate but have guilt about it.

While my charitable giving isn't quite at the level I would like it to be, it's also not random. We try and budget for giving and plan ahead.

I think the give a buck here/there is the charitable version of going to Starbucks-five bucks here, five bucks there, it's all gone and you can't remember where it went...