I know exactly what you mean. When my life literally fell apart a few years ago, and I was quickly spiraling out of control, going through my divorce, etc, I turned my back on everything I had always been raised to believe. It was still there in the back of my mind, but I always had this lingering doubt that I just could not get away from. It was compounded by constantly thinking "ok this is the worst it could get...nothing else could possibly hit me because I'm at my lowest"...and yet one thing after another continued to barrage me. It wasn't until I really stopped, sat down, and examined things in my life that I really saw "the light" so to speak.
Oddly enough, it was right after I met my DH, and we were living over 1000 miles apart, so we spent our time talking on the phone. DH asked me some really tough questions back then, and for the first time I gave honest answers instead of canned ones I knew he'd want to hear. (or anyone else for that matter). It wasn't until then that I finally was able to shake off alot of my doubts. I credit my DH for helping me find my way in that.
On another note, because I know we are all readers....a great book you might take a look at is called "Battling Unbelief" by John Piper. You will see that alot of your doubts and questions are really not unusual.
Believers constantly question their faith. It is the best way to reconfirm and reinforce everything they believe.