College student relationship trouble

[JanetRose]

I work with college students and one of our female students is dating another student. He left his facebook page open and she read a message from him to a friend 'Joanne is getting fat and doesn't turn me on any more'.

She broke up with him.

I'm no Dear Abby but I want to tell her that she was at fault for reading his personal messages and to give him another chance?

What do you all think?

 

[eliza61]

I think the horse is out of the barn and they should part ways. He's not going to trust her since she read his computer and she's going to remember that he called her fat in virtual public. Besides he's said she doesn't turn him on anymore, which can be pretty darn important.

 

[kirbydog48]

I don't think you should tell her to give him another chance, that is up to her. I can imagine she's feeling very hurt. Also, he shouldn't have written that on facebook and shouldn't have left his page open.

 

[zurgswife]

I work with college students and one of our female students is dating another student. He left his facebook page open and she read a message from him to a friend 'Joanne is getting fat and doesn't turn me on any more'.

She broke up with him.

I'm no Dear Abby but I want to tell her that she was at fault for reading his personal messages and to give him another chance?

What do you all think?

Just walk away. It's really none of your business.

 

[NHdisneylover]

Just walk away. It's really non of your business.

This

 

[RitaE]

It really doesn't matter who is "at fault." He made a statement and she saw it.

Why should she want to stay with some guy who doesn't find her attractive?

 

[marlynnp]

She didn't ask for your advice. Stay out of it.

 

[Disneefun]

Yep. Not your business. But, if you must say something, it sounds to me like it's good riddance to bad rubbish. If he thinks that, he's not someone she should even want to be with. I wouldn't give anyone a second chance who thought that of me.

 

[kate_wdw]

To be blunt, I think you should butt out.

I cannot imagine that your job duties include telling others how to conduct their personal relationships.

 

[Jennasis]

yes yes yes...MYOB on this one!

 

[Buckalew11]

MYOB and know that often kids dating share passwords for their FB and can read each others.
If her gaining weight has turned him off to her than he probably does not even want another chance. Why would he? If you really love someone, you do not get "turned off" by a little weight gain. She doesn't need a BF like that. Sounds better that they are apart.

 

[JanetRose]

Ok, I guess I should have seen that coming She did ask my advice.

There are students who are not close to their parents or have no parents so they look to others for guidance.

 

[Allison]

Why would you say anything?

 

[NHdisneylover]

OKay, since she dd ask for advice, my advice to her would be:

In the future, reading other's messages is not a good idea. However, what is done cannot be undone and now that she knows he s losing interest it is better to just move on and not look back.

 

[Buckalew11]

Ok, I guess I should have seen that coming She did ask my advice.

There are students who are not close to their parents or have no parents so they look to others for guidance.

Then she came to you for advice because he wants her back? Or she wants back with him?

She broke up with him. What does she want your advice about?

 

[JanetRose]

If she did the right thing.

 

[Buckalew11]

I think that is for her to decide. So make her THINK. Ask her questions that will lead to her drawing her own conclusions--you can't decide for her or even know their relationship history so there isn't much for you to decide.

Does she want to be with someone shallow enough to think "gaining a little weight" turns him off? Will he be able to trust her again if he took her back, if, in fact, she was snooping on his account? W/O trust, there is nothing--ever.
There's many more things for the two of these young people to think about.

But no, I would not advise, I would ask questions and allow to figure it out for herself.

 

[kate_wdw]

I think that is for her to decide. So make her THINK. Ask her questions that will lead to her drawing her own conclusions--you can't decide for her or even know their relationship history so there isn't much for you to decide.

Does she want to be with someone shallow enough to think "gaining a little weight" turns him off? Will he be able to trust her again if he took her back, if, in fact, she was snooping on his account? W/O trust, there is nothing--ever.
There's many more things for the two of these young people to think about.

But no, I would not advise, I would ask questions and allow to figure it out for herself.

 

[JanetRose]

Buckalew11 - Thanks...will be that!!

 

[disykat]

It really doesn't matter who is "at fault." He made a statement and she saw it.

Why should she want to stay with some guy who doesn't find her attractive?

I agree. If he left his facebook open on a computer he knew she would be walking past or using she wasn't snooping on his computer, he was sending her a message.