College student relationship trouble

[MrsJackSparrow4Life]

Well since she asked for advice....It sounds like they are both better off without each other.

She no longer has to deal with a boy that shallow and stupid and he no longer has to deal with a girl he is not attracted to and who snoops when given the chance.

Of course I probably wouldn't word it that way with the girl

 

[westjones]

This whole new generation of social media and electronic communication seems to cause problems for young people quite often.

 

[nuke]

She did nothing wrong and is better off without a guy like that.

If it wasn't for an open facebook page I wouldn't have known that I was being cheated on by my ex. We were married going on 17 years at the time and I had no idea. Best "snooping" I ever did and I would do it again in a heartbeat.

 

[erincon23]

Completely off topic -- Disykat's reply has two words, computer and message, double underlined, and when you hover over them, you get an advertisement. Never seen that before, and that could be why I'm getting "risky behavior on this page" messages from McAfee. Anybody else seeing this?

 

[ladypage]

Completely off topic -- Disykat's reply has two words, computer and message, double underlined, and when you hover over them, you get an advertisement. Never seen that before, and that could be why I'm getting "risky behavior on this page" messages from McAfee. Anybody else seeing this?

I'm not getting that on mine.

 

[hereyago]

As for the technolgy younger people have nowadays,I think they are more helpful for giving off red flags that are hard to ignore,but some people still do. I find it more sad that this young woman would have low self esteem to even question what to do.

 

[RitaE]

Completely off topic -- Disykat's reply has two words, computer and message, double underlined, and when you hover over them, you get an advertisement. Never seen that before, and that could be why I'm getting "risky behavior on this page" messages from McAfee. Anybody else seeing this?

There are a couple of different malware bugs that will do that. You need to disinfect. I'd try Malwarebytes first.

http://download.cnet.com/Malwarebytes-Anti-Malware/3000-8022_4-10804572.html

 

[Colleen27]

Of course she did the right thing. He might not have intended to give her that insight into his thinking, but the fact is he's clearly thinking of the relationship as being in decline and for a fairly shallow reason. No good can come of giving him another chance - either she'll be in a relationship where she feels she has to be hyper-vigilant about her weight or he'll end it anyway when someone who does turn him on comes along.

 

[luvmy3]

I'd tell her she did the right thing and that there are plenty of men out there who will appreciate how she looks, and be turned on by more than just those.

 

[brockash]

I work with college students and one of our female students is dating another student. He left his facebook page open and she read a message from him to a friend 'Joanne is getting fat and doesn't turn me on any more'.

She broke up with him.

I'm no Dear Abby but I want to tell her that she was at fault for reading his personal messages and to give him another chance?

What do you all think?

What??? Why would you advise someone to be with another person whom not only thinks they're getting fat and they're not attracted to them anymore, but that also tells other people...and on facebook!!!

Give me a break, that girl is lucky she saw it and is totally better off without him. Would you tell your daughter that they should be with someone who talks like that about them? I'd certainly hope not.

 

[Lynne M]

I work with college students and one of our female students is dating another student. He left his facebook page open and she read a message from him to a friend 'Joanne is getting fat and doesn't turn me on any more'.

She broke up with him.

I'm no Dear Abby but I want to tell her that she was at fault for reading his personal messages and to give him another chance?

What do you all think?

Well, I agree with the PP who said she was meant to see that message. Anyway, if you leave your FB page open on a computer screen, you don't have much right to get bent out of shape if someone sees it.

I'm confused by what 'give him another chance' means, though. He made it pretty clear that he doesn't want her anymore. You can't un-ring that bell. He said it. She read it. She kicked him to the curb. It's over. Now he can go find someone that does turn him on, and she can find someone who's interested in more than superficial appearances.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

Sounds like it wasn't a relationship worth fighting for. Time for both of them to move on.


BTW, does the guy in this deal even WANT "another chance"?

 

[zurgswife]

Completely off topic -- Disykat's reply has two words, computer and message, double underlined, and when you hover over them, you get an advertisement. Never seen that before, and that could be why I'm getting "risky behavior on this page" messages from McAfee. Anybody else seeing this?

Mine either.

 

[LisaR]

This whole new generation of social media and electronic communication seems to cause problems for young people quite often.

Yep! This is so different than a girl and her diary from years ago when the girl would go out of her way to hide it. Now, people share the same computer and don't remember to log out, or they use a cell phone or computer that isn't theirs to check messages and don't log out. And,of course, there is the text message intended for one person, but is sent to the one you are talking about instead. To me, in these types of situations, it is fair game. Don't put something on the internet that you want to keep private.

 

[aaarcher86]

I don't really agree with the whole 'you leave it open you can't get mad' theory.

I do think though that if you come across something that someone did leave open you have two options - respect their privacy and close it, or read it and understand that you may see something you don't want to/weren't meant to see.

Once you see something that like, what's done is done. If she feels like she made the right choice, leave it alone.

I've always loved that quote 'what other people think of you is none of your business.'

 

[westjones]

Sounds like it wasn't a relationship worth fighting for. Time for both of them to move on.


BTW, does the guy in this deal even WANT "another chance"?

That is a very important part of the question.

 

[MrsDuck]

I sure as heck wouldn't give him another chance.

Was she wrong to read his FB? Yes.

 

[Disney Doll]

I'd say that they are better off without each other and since they are both in college that means they are probably somewhere between 18-21 and so there will be plenty of other fish in the sea.

I'd tell her not to lose sleep over losing this one. And if he asked my advice, I'd tell him the same thing. Not meant to be.

 

[Maggie Lizer]

Why would she even want to be with some who wasn't attracted to her anymore? Is she that desperate to have a boyfriend? Sheesh!