College degree or not?

[bettymae1121]

Knowledge is never a waste, so no I don't consider it a waste if a person gets a degree and later is a SAHP. If nothing else it's good as a "back up" in case the SAHP has to go back to work. A lot of employers need to see that "college" box checked on the application in order to even make it to an interview.

 

[eliza61]

I am posting this on both the community board and here as I think it will be interesting to see from a budget perspective how the answers may or may not vary.

I don't have a degree, and I have never felt a loss for not having one. I have a good paying job and not having a degree hasn't in my opinion hindered me from promotions etc.

But it really got me thinking. I honestly think I would feel the same way. If you KNOW that you're going to have children, and have the conviction of staying home to raise your children, would you go to college to get a degree? I guess to me it would be more about the loan debt (assuming you had to pay for college) etc. If I knew I planned on staying home if/once I had children why do it?

Please share your experience/reasoning for getting or not pursuing a degree.

Let me say a few things up front.

1) I'm over 50. when I first entered the job market almost every one could get a job without a degree and earn a liveable wage. especially in manufacturing. Now, not so much. In Philly and NY the two areas I grew up in and lived, you need a college degree for simple civil service jobs. It's how they weed out applicants.

2)I went to college straight out of h.s. I did not know at the time whether or not I wanted kids but I did know I wanted to work and have a good paying job.

3) I mentor young ladies ages 18-22. Education is never a waste. sure you can plan on being a SAHM but the reality is nothing is ever a guarantee. Divorce, death, layoffs all occur. Just as many here on the BB save for a rainy day, I believe in giving yourself the best chance at weathering all types of storms, being prepared for any thing. Some times that may be a college degree.

So yes, I probably would still get my degree in todays day and age.

 

[LoveBWVVBR]

College was not optional in the household in which I was raised, and I'm raising my girls the same way. I "knew" that I'd have kids...someday, when I was over 30 at least. I graduated college at 20 (a year early), and worked for plenty of years before I had my first child at 31. I am a SAHM, but I don't regret my degrees (I went nights to get my grad degree because my company paid for it 100%). I know that I can go out and get a very good job at any time if we need for me to do so. I also know that I can tell my girls about the value of a good education. Life is about more than raising children.

My kids will go to school eventually, and eventually they'll be off on their own. I will resume my career at some point. DH and I wanted one of us home with the kids...honestly, it didn't matter which one except when I was nursing. If DH ever decides to become a contractor instead of being a full-time employee, it will give me the flexibility to resume my full-time career As long as one of us is available to the kids, we're good. Regret my degrees? Never!

 

[Sandi]

I am a SAHM to 2 beautiful, , and young kids and I do NOT have a college degree. But I wish I did. I am always fearful of the unknown and the fact that if something happened I don't know how I would provide for my children.
That being said, I plan on going back to school in the next year or so and finding a degree in something that I will enjoy. I would love to go to school to become a teacher, but at 31 and only going back part-time, I worry that I am too old to commit to that much education.

You're never too old. And 31, my dear, is young. I went to law school more than 20 years ago and there were several "older" students in my class. They were the best students and had the most to offer in discussions.

there was a letter to Dear Abby a few years back, and I wish I had cut it out. I will paraphrase:
let's say the letter writer was about 54 years old. she always wanted to go to school, but her chosen field would require 8 years of school. "abby, in eight years, I will be 62 years old!"

Abby's answer, "how old will you be in 8 years if you DON'T go to school?"

I'm glad you quoted this. It was exactly what I was thinking of when I saw the post.

 

[momto2girls]

An education is never a waste.

I agree. I actually have three advanced degrees (2 Bachelor's Degrees and a Master's Degree). For the past ten years, I have stayed home with my children. I don't regret for one second the time, energy, and money spent getting these degrees. I will never regret being well-educated. What if I hadn't been able to have children or my marriage had broken up or any number of possibilities had occurred? I would have been very grateful that I had my education. In addition, I really feel that my education helped shape me in priceless ways. I could never put a value on that experience.

Even though I don't intend on ever returning to the workforce, who knows where life will take me? Perhaps, I will want to one day, or I'll feel the need to. If so, I'll be glad to have my education. No one can take it away from me.

 

[crazelion]

HS Diploma yes is good
College Education was total waste of my time. I 2 degrees and several certificates and work at day care cooking

College degree has not help get a better job at all. I was working teacher until I got fired. Then went to get minimum wage jobs because I could not find nothing better.

I will let my kids decide whether not want go college. I will not force them go. I will make sure they get high school diploma.

By the way my I got total free ride to college for both degrees. I have no student loans at all.

Now flamed away.

 

[threecrazykids]

Ok so let's add this twist to the equation. How many places will employ someone who's been out of the workforce for 10-15+ years and no recent work experience even WITH a degree?

Are the people who have degrees that choose to stay home and put their career on hold honestly believing that once they send that last baby off to school they will just hop right back in where they left off in their career?

Are those who have a degree planning on freshening up their skills by taking MORE classes in their field before they return to the workforce? Because a LOT changes in the workforce over that time period, regardless of what field your degree is in.

I guess if I was an HR recruiter (which I have NO KNOWLEDGE of) if I had someone who had a degree, but hadn't worked in 10 years in the field, or I had someone with NO degree, but had been working in the field getting experience over the most recent 10 years I can't say I'd be so apt to pick the one with the degree.

Just thinking on both sides of the fence.

 

[ExPirateShopGirl]

Oh, the irony. Knowing absolutely nothing else about you, I am inclined to agree. For what it's worth, it appears you didn't overpay.

HS Diploma yes is good
College Education was total waste of my time. I 2 degrees and several certificates and work at day care cooking

College degree has not help get a better job at all. I was working teacher until I got fired. Then went to get minimum wage jobs because I could not find nothing better.

I will let my kids decide whether not want go college. I will not force them go. I will make sure they get high school diploma.

By the way my I got total free ride to college for both degrees. I have no student loans at all.

Now flamed away.

 

[Jaklackus]

Go to school if you can....keep up your contact list..keep in touch..no matter what....

I wish I did...right now I am desperately trying to find a job after staying home for 8.5 years with a high school diploma and all of my work experience is with companies that that have now been sucked up by other companies and no longer have name recognition...oh yeah we made a cross country move in the middle of all of this too.

I finally realized what an abusive(mental/financial..flirting with physical)jerk my husband is and it's time to leave with the kids....and I have nothing beside a $50 Macy's gift card to my name.

My husband made 250k last year(he won't this year)...the kids and I will probably end up on welfare this year...lots of woulda, coulda, shouldas running through my head lately.

I'm also wary of anybody that wants the other spouse to stay home..while couldn't bear to put my son in daycare I lost the last of my power on the day that I resigned my position...I would have been much better off if I continued working instead of being isolated for the last 8+ years...

 

[eliza61]

HS Diploma yes is good
College Education was total waste of my time. I 2 degrees and several certificates and work at day care cooking

College degree has not help get a better job at all. I was working teacher until I got fired. Then went to get minimum wage jobs because I could not find nothing better.

I will let my kids decide whether not want go college. I will not force them go. I will make sure they get high school diploma.

By the way my I got total free ride to college for both degrees. I have no student loans at all.

Now flamed away.

No flames but just keep in mind the last 4 years have been an anamoly (sp?)
Some experts think between 2007 and 2008 we were losing up to 11,000 jobs a day. You could have had degrees flying out of you know what lately and if your employee was cutting back nothing could have saved you.

this recession was about cutting cost so no matter your education or your experience nothing could have saved you.

Previous poster is right, it's a combination of things BUT in todays market where there are some thing like 200 applicants for every job, my thought process is every advantage I could have over the other 199 applicants is better. So for SAHM's re-entering the job market, that may mean.

1) degree
2) volunteering or internships
3) networking
4) starting out at a lower paying job to build work history.

I just know at my job (a fortune 500 company based in wilmingto de), you have to have at least 2 years college to apply for the janitors or cafeteria work.

 

[lovemygoofy]

Ok so let's add this twist to the equation. How many places will employ someone who's been out of the workforce for 10-15+ years and no recent work experience even WITH a degree?

Are the people who have degrees that choose to stay home and put their career on hold honestly believing that once they send that last baby off to school they will just hop right back in where they left off in their career?

Are those who have a degree planning on freshening up their skills by taking MORE classes in their field before they return to the workforce? Because a LOT changes in the workforce over that time period, regardless of what field your degree is in.

I guess if I was an HR recruiter (which I have NO KNOWLEDGE of) if I had someone who had a degree, but hadn't worked in 10 years in the field, or I had someone with NO degree, but had been working in the field getting experience over the most recent 10 years I can't say I'd be so apt to pick the one with the degree.

Just thinking on both sides of the fence.

I wasn't really going to say anything until your next question.

I've been judged for staying at home when I have a degree and no kids at all. Frankly it's no one's business one way or the other. Now I work with alot of stay at home parents.

It's not always about education. It's about wanting to do something and getting noticed.

Because someone doesn't choose to work for pay doesn't mean they aren't working.

I encourage all the people I meet to volunteer time and get involved. Get involved with projects, helping and planning and meet all the people possible. Making an impression on people is great network for when it is time to get a job.

Volunteering at church, schools, neighborhood projects or anything else. You never know where you will meet someone that knows someone that needs help. I fell into my current position because of my previous voulnteer experience.

Take an adult eduation class for the education and the networking. It can keep someone up to date on their subject and meet other people in that field.

I think if someone stays holed up in their house without ever making any effort that is going to make a difference in a job.

It's not always that easy or a recent graduate either. When I graduated in 2001, it didn't matter you had a nice piece of paper. Employers wanted experience and substanance, not a trainee.

 

[Anne34]

I firmly believe that a college degree is worth all the time and energy it takes. Most people don't need to attend the expensive, big name schools, so there doesn't always need to be a large price tag or loans attached.

My parents always told me they didn't care if I got married and stayed at home but they sure did expect me to finish college first! You don't know what can happen. Your husband can die young, become unable to work for whatever reason, and on an on the "what if" scenario can go. I finished college, two MAs, and worked for almost 17 years before staying at home. But, I do have a career to fall back on.

I do NOT believe that survival depends solely on the amount of money a person can make. You should LIKE what you do and have a passion for it. If you don't, it is just a job.

So totally agree with you.

Dawn

I have a college degree - stayed home for 9 years and have been working part-time as a classroom aide for the past 7 years. I couldn't have done this without a degree (In IL you must have a minimum of 60 credit hours or an associates/higher). I work the same hours as my kids and still have plenty of time to do other things. I make a little extra spending money for the family.

One day, when they are in college or gone, I will work full time and have something to fall back on. I have a good 10-15 years after kids are out of the house.

 

[juliebean]

Go to school if you can....keep up your contact list..keep in touch..no matter what....

I wish I did...right now I am desperately trying to find a job after staying home for 8.5 years with a high school diploma and all of my work experience is with companies that that have now been sucked up by other companies and no longer have name recognition...oh yeah we made a cross country move in the middle of all of this too.

I finally realized what an abusive(mental/financial..flirting with physical)jerk my husband is and it's time to leave with the kids....and I have nothing beside a $50 Macy's gift card to my name.

My husband made 250k last year(he won't this year)...the kids and I will probably end up on welfare this year...lots of woulda, coulda, shouldas running through my head lately.

I'm also wary of anybody that wants the other spouse to stay home..while couldn't bear to put my son in daycare I lost the last of my power on the day that I resigned my position...I would have been much better off if I continued working instead of being isolated for the last 8+ years...

First, I am so sorry! Don't be too hard on yourself - hindsight is always 20/20, no one ever plans to be starting over with nothing. I would start by checking with some local colleges - especially community colleges - our local one offers assistance to moms returning to the workforce. Best wishes as you change your life!

And in general, there is a price to pay with being a SAHP, you generally cannot jump back in. I would've loved to have continued to work part time, I feel like that is the best scenario for many moms. I think it's always good to start planning a few years before your are ready to return to work - take classes, make contacts, and make sure you are up to date. It's also a great opportunity to evaluate what you really want to do for the next 20 or so years! I am returning to college, because I did take 8 years off to care for my children, but it is requiring much less time than if I did not already have a degree, because I do not have to redo all the basic classes.

 

[ExPirateShopGirl]

There are so many moms in my neighborhood who do this. They are SAHMs whose children are now in school and choose to substitute teach a day or two a week. It works wonderfully for them and coincides with their children's schedules. Only those moms with bachelor's degrees meet the school district's minimum qualifications for the position.

I have a college degree - stayed home for 9 years and have been working part-time as a classroom aide for the past 7 years. I couldn't have done this without a degree (In IL you must have a minimum of 60 credit hours or an associates/higher). I work the same hours as my kids and still have plenty of time to do other things. I make a little extra spending money for the family.

One day, when they are in college or gone, I will work full time and have something to fall back on. I have a good 10-15 years after kids are out of the house.

 

[rchristiansen]

But it really got me thinking. I honestly think I would feel the same way. If you KNOW that you're going to have children, and have the conviction of staying home to raise your children, would you go to college to get a degree? I guess to me it would be more about the loan debt (assuming you had to pay for college) etc. If I knew I planned on staying home if/once I had children why do it?

Please share your experience/reasoning for getting or not pursuing a degree.

VERY Interesting topic! I can provide many points of view I had student loans and paid off my undergrad already. I also have a very small loan for my MS - but that will be paid off in a year. I think if you are going to go to a private school that costs $40K a year, then YES, it's silly to not "use" it. There are so many good inexpensive state schools, community colleges, etc that it can be affordable. With that being said, I'll set aside the loan issue to provide my comments.

I have my BS in Industrial Engineering. I worked until my daughter was 1 year old. It was always a goal for me to stay home with my daughter. My husband received a raise at that time and our side business was doing well. So I could afford to stay home and help with that side business.

Fast forward 4-5 years. We now rely solely on that side business income and due to certain circumstances, I do not work on the business anymore.

When my daughter started full day Kindergarten, I was bored. Super bored. I also knew I did NOT want to work full time, yet. I also knew that I REALLY missed engineering, but that no one would hire me as an engineer without these last 5 years of experience. So, I made the decision to go to grad school. I'm not finishing my MS and will continue this fall to pursue my PhD. HOWEVER, I have made it a point to make sure that, on a regular basis, I will be home when my daughter is home from school and not miss special events. This means, it will take much longer for me to finish my degree and I also sacrifice a lot of research opportunities and networking with other students. All worth the compromise though. I'll plod through this and take my time because it's more important for me to be home at THIS point in my life.

There are two things that have stuck with me that make me realize my undergraduate degree was not worthless:

1 - A very wise woman I know (with a degree from Harvard AND a masters from Johns Hopkins who was a stay at home mom) told me: "Women CAN do everything, they just can't do it all at the same time"

2 - I also love the movie "Mona Lisa Smile". I watch it a lot- There is a dialog in that movie that is really good when one of the students decides not to go to Law School and get married instead - I copied it from IMDB ---I love the last couple of lines:

Joan Brandwyn: It was my choice, not to go. He would have supported it.
Katherine Watson: But you don't have to choose!
Joan Brandwyn: No, I have to. I want a home, I want a family! That's not something I'll sacrifice.
Katherine Watson: No one's asking you to sacrifice that, Joan. I just want you to understand that you can do both.
Joan Brandwyn: Do you think I'll wake up one morning and regret not being a lawyer?
Katherine Watson: Yes, I'm afraid that you will.
Joan Brandwyn: Not as much as I'd regret not having a family, not being there to raise them. I know exactly what I'm doing and it doesn't make me any less smart. This must seem terrible to you.
Katherine Watson: I didn't say that.
Joan Brandwyn: Sure you did. You always do. You stand in class and tell us to look beyond the image, but you don't. To you a housewife is someone who sold her soul for a center hall colonial. She has no depth, no intellect, no interests. You're the one who said I could do anything I wanted. This is what I want.

 

[MamaJessie]

Ok so let's add this twist to the equation. How many places will employ someone who's been out of the workforce for 10-15+ years and no recent work experience even WITH a degree?

Are the people who have degrees that choose to stay home and put their career on hold honestly believing that once they send that last baby off to school they will just hop right back in where they left off in their career?

Are those who have a degree planning on freshening up their skills by taking MORE classes in their field before they return to the workforce? Because a LOT changes in the workforce over that time period, regardless of what field your degree is in.

I guess if I was an HR recruiter (which I have NO KNOWLEDGE of) if I had someone who had a degree, but hadn't worked in 10 years in the field, or I had someone with NO degree, but had been working in the field getting experience over the most recent 10 years I can't say I'd be so apt to pick the one with the degree.

Just thinking on both sides of the fence.

I think this effects a lot of moms when they return to the workforce.

I am a SAHM with no degree and am fine with it. I think if you have the $$$ to go for the experience, go for it. If your parents have the $$$ to send you for status, go for it. Loans are another thing entirely and I firmly believe if you need them for college, you should get a useful degree. It's an investment, which ideally should profit. I will encourage my children to go but never pressure. Life holds different adventures for different people.

 

[MamaJessie]

I LOVE that Mona Lisa Smile quote. Thank you so much for sharing it.

 

[NotUrsula]

2 - I also love the movie "Mona Lisa Smile". I watch it a lot- There is a dialog in that movie that is really good when one of the students decides not to go to Law School and get married instead - I copied it from IMDB ---I love the last couple of lines:

But you know the problem with that movie was that it wasn't especially realistic for that era, in that the two coeds who decide to get married DO finish their BA's. At the time that wasn't the norm; most women dropped out if they became engaged before graduation, especially if the fiance was an upperclassman.

 

[MrsJackSparrow4Life]

Oh, the irony. Knowing absolutely nothing else about you, I am inclined to agree. For what it's worth, it appears you didn't overpay.

I hope her two degrees were not in English.

 

[Pigeon]

There's no one-size-fits-all for this.

I'm not a SAHM, and wouldn't ever be one for many reasons, so for me it's a moot point.

But, I will say that I believe firmly in the value of being able to support yourself and your family. If I had no job skills and no education, I wouldn't sleep nights, no matter who I was married to. I've just seen too many spouses drop dead in their 40s or 50s, or decide to pack up and head to Belize to have a mid-life crisis with a 20 year old. And frankly, I don't want to be supported by anybody.

I don't believe education is really wasted. I know my education has made me a better parent.

I also don't believe in taking on a lot of debt, except for very specific circumstances. I wouldn't take out a huge loan to get a degree in a field like philosophy. If I were keen on getting that degree, I'd work and take classes part-time.

I can see the OP's friend's point. My BS is in the hard sciences, and it was a huge amount of work, not to mention the expense. I would feel like I was wasting it to stay home.

But it sounds to me like she really isn't so happy about being a SAHM. I would never do something like that unless my heart was in it. If she doesn't want to do it, and her husband is so keen on it, maybe he should quit his job.