College degree or not?

[threecrazykids]

I am posting this on both the community board and here as I think it will be interesting to see from a budget perspective how the answers may or may not vary.

I was speaking with a neighbor the other day about a topic that really had me thinking. She was laid off from a company about 6 months ago and is currently staying home as she is pregnant with her first child. She expressed to me that she's really torn about whether or not to stay home after the baby is born because she feels that she (these are HER words) "WASTED getting a college degree in physics and chemistry" if her and her husband decide to have her stay home. She isn't nearly as up for her staying home as her husband is.

I don't have a degree, and I have never felt a loss for not having one. I have a good paying job and not having a degree hasn't in my opinion hindered me from promotions etc.

But it really got me thinking. I honestly think I would feel the same way. If you KNOW that you're going to have children, and have the conviction of staying home to raise your children, would you go to college to get a degree? I guess to me it would be more about the loan debt (assuming you had to pay for college) etc. If I knew I planned on staying home if/once I had children why do it?

Please share your experience/reasoning for getting or not pursuing a degree.

 

[peachydreamyxx]

Currently my DH and I are having this debate actually. I went to college and recieved a bachelors in psych. Right after graduation I ended up becoming pregnant and having our son. I obviously did not seek employment since I was pregnant, and have been home with him since. Now he is 18 months old, and as much as we would rather I stayed home to raise him, I feel like its pretty pointless that I now have $22,500 worth of student loans in order to get this degree that I have yet to use. It is almost like, why did I even bother. However, I am happy that I have the degree because I dont know what will happen in life, and I feel like as much as the degree really only is a piece of paper, its a really important piece of paper. I do regret attending a private college for the 4 years instead of a community college or state college for the first 2 and then the private college after since I do not plan on going back to work any time soon.. would have cut my loans in half! It is a tough call though because my whole life I knew I wanted to stay home and raise my children. I just expected my son to be born a little later, but life happens I guess.

 

[crisi]

I never wanted to stay home and raise kids. Got a degree, worked ten years, had children, continued to work.

It doesn't sound to me like she has the conviction to be a SAHM. Sounds to me like she wants to work, but her husband wants her to stay home.

Most of us have about 45 years between college graduation and retirement. Unless you are the Duggars, you are unlikely to have kids home that whole time. Being a SAHM is a great career choice - but it isn't going to hold you over your whole life. You are likely to need a mid-life career switch as your kids leave the house (or maybe just start school). That doesn't have to be a college degree sort of career by any means, but if you had one, and had a passion in something, it might be in your best interest to keep your fingers in it - kids grow up.

 

[ExPirateShopGirl]

An education is never a waste.

 

[Marionnette]

An education is never a waste.

Agreed.

I feel that I made a large contribution to society by getting my degree and putting it to use in medical sciences. I also feel that I made a large contribution to society when I made the choice to stay home to raise my children, volunteer in their schools and run the elementary science clubs.

 

[emma'smom]

I got my degrees not just for the employment opportunities, but for the intellectual opportunities it provided, the research skills, the habits of the mind I developed, the value of the academic engagement....and the social status.


However, I am glad that I have a career...because as much as I love my kids, someday they will be off to college and involved in their own lives--and I'll be glad to have my work to fulfill me (and if something drastic ever happened, to support me too).

 

[DawnM]

I firmly believe that a college degree is worth all the time and energy it takes. Most people don't need to attend the expensive, big name schools, so there doesn't always need to be a large price tag or loans attached.

My parents always told me they didn't care if I got married and stayed at home but they sure did expect me to finish college first! You don't know what can happen. Your husband can die young, become unable to work for whatever reason, and on an on the "what if" scenario can go. I finished college, two MAs, and worked for almost 17 years before staying at home. But, I do have a career to fall back on.

I do NOT believe that survival depends solely on the amount of money a person can make. You should LIKE what you do and have a passion for it. If you don't, it is just a job.

Dawn

 

[Disney_Freak56]

I don't have a college degree, have a very good paying job, but I'm in my early 50s. I did attend college, but my Dad got laid off from his job, so I came home and went to work. It was a different time when I went to work. If one does not have a college degree, it's hard to find a good paying job. It's hard to find one even with a degree.

My daughter has a degree in technical theater. She became pregnant a few months after graduating and was unable to fulfill the position she had been given in the Los Angeles area. It's pretty difficult to climb ladders and walk around catwalks in a theater when you're 7 months pregnant.

Anyhow, a week after my granddaughter was born, she drove herself to Oklahoma City, tested to become an Air Traffic Controller and now that his her job. She will make a lot more as an ATC than she could ever make with in a theater job.

But without that degree, she could not even take the test. It is a requirement -- have a degree or make a lateral move from the military to become an ATC.

My point is -- one never knows what life has in store for them. Being a SAHM could be a great thing for some. But marriages don't always last or sometimes people die. But a college degree is forever.

So one should never feel a college degree is a waste of time or money. It definitely is not.

 

[Danibelle]

An education is never a waste.

You never know when it will help you get a job and/or get promoted.

 

[quentina]

I am 38, returned to school last year. I have 10 more classes to take and I will be done!! 20 years ago, I went for 3.5 years, took a "semester" off and never went back.....don't even ask about expired credits!!

I do feel it is necessary to have a degree. I have a great job (HR/Benefits MGR) however; I do know that are company is requiring senior upper mgmt to have degree's. So, I decided to go back otherwise, I may be stuck in this position forever.

 

[Fyrefly]

I think your neighbor is more a case of an educated woman being pressured by her husband to be a SAHM against her will, which is a totally different issue than education.

I'm working on a PhD right now in engineering. I don't have the remotest urge to have children yet, but when I do, I plan on being a SAHM. But that's my choice. I don't think the education isn't worth it - I wouldn't be going to college for 9 years if I didn't. I need the intellectual stimulation, and in my case the research is like having what most would consider a normal job anyway.

At this stage in my life currently, I don't think I can be just a stay at home mom for 18 years+, so I'm getting a degree that will make me valuable. My thought is I will work full-time for a few years, stop when I have children, then do part time work as a consultant or something similar once the little ones are a little more self-reliant as a break for myself from being always "Mommy"(and for Disney $ ).

I think it's important for everyone who can to get the opportunity to stretch their minds academically. And even if you don't "use" your degree, per se, many jobs have a degree of some kind as a prereq. Plus as PP's have said, you never know what could happen. My dad makes enough my mom could be SAHM with me, but if something happened to him, she'd really need his life insurance plan because her only real job experience is in retail, which would be very hard to support herself in living in our area, let alone a child.

An education is just something important you should do for yourself, IMHO.

 

[Swimalie]

An education is never a waste.

Agree as well!

I have a degree as does my husband. He is actually the first in his family to get a bachelors degree right after high school. I used my degree to work in professional jobs - director of a program in my county, probation officer, etc. We didn't have our son until we had been married for 9 years and I had been out of college for 13 years. I used my degree the entire time. I also had it easy in that my parents paid for my college expenses 100%. Now I'm staying at home with my son and no way am I "wasting" anything. One day I might go back to work and I will use that degree yet again.

My husband, with his degree and only working for 9 years is making 5 times as much as his dad did after working for 39 years before he passed away with only a HS diploma (same employer). To me, that shows a huge value in getting a degree.

 

[vicki_c]

The thing with having a degree is that now that is the minimum requirement for a professional job at many companies. My DH does not have a degree and while he did at one time have a professional/HR job, it was at a place where he started out young and was promoted over the years. We've moved a few times since then and he has never found the same type of job that he had before, because those types of jobs have a BS degree as a minimum requirement.

So, depending on what type of job you want to do in the future, you may need a degree just to get your foot in the door. I'm sure my DH would do great at many jobs that has applied for, but no degree is just a discriminator that can be used to weed through piles of resumes. No degree = circular file.

He works in retail now, not his first choice at all, but that's what he was able to get.

 

[Marionnette]

I just wanted to add that when unemployment in the US was at 9.4%, the unemployment rate among those with a college degree was only 4%. A woman with a college education is better positioned to enter the work force her spouse has been laid off, disabled or dies. If she divorces, she is better able to support herself and her children. It is much easier to return to the workforce with that degree already under your belt than it is to work on getting your degree when you need to keep a roof over your head and feed your chldren.

 

[onescgirl]

I understand totally what your saying. But I think that not getting a education because you want to be a SAHM would only work if
1. you're getting married very young
2. You knew your husband would always have job
3. You knew your marriage would last forever

Even if you know that you would want to be a SAHM, it's very important for a female to get a education. You don't know when you will meet Mr. Right to marry to have those kids. Not everyone finds their Mr. Right at age 18 after high school. You may not meet him until you're 30 or 40. You'll need a job before then.
What if a couple is unable to have children, then she would continue to work & education would benefit.
You may be lucky to have a great paying job w/out a degree. But, for most females, they have a harder time than males finding a good paying job w/out a degree. And, like many have said, anything could happen to the marriage where it would be hard for a non-degree single mother to raise her family.
Oh, and I have several friends that have been SAHM for years and their husbands have lost their jobs recently due to the economy. They have had to go back to work until their husbands found a job. Thankfully, they all had degrees in something where they were able to get a job.

I believe being a SAHM is the best job in the world & very much worth whatever you have to put on hold. But, most likely, you will eventually work again & a education is something everyone needs, especially females.

 

[StitchBuddy]

Well, just because she thinks she wants to go back to work now, doesn't mean she will after she takes one look at her newborn child. A lot changes after they actually arrive. But, I don't think you can go wrong getting an education.

 

[juliebean]

My gosh - there is so much well thought out ideas here! As a stay at home mom with a chemistry and math degree (and, yes - the loans that came with it) I could be your neighbor. I did work full time with one child, but once I had two & three, it just became impractical. They are a lot of work! And I loved nursing my kids and being there with them, I never expected that. I was THE last person you would think of as motherly before I had kids.

However, I do not regret getting my degree. I do wish I didn't have the loans... I'm going back to school now to get a second degree in nursing, and I am thrilled to be starting this new chapter of my life now that my youngest is getting ready for kindergarten! Being a stay at home mom is a wonderful gift for your family, but only if it's given willingly. Like all of us, your neighbor will learn that when you are a parent everything changes.

 

[Juliet25]

I have a liberal arts degree that has done nothing for me, career-wise, but I would absolutely have gone to college even though I'm going to be a SAHM soon due to a job loss and a new baby.

I loved college, FTMP. I did a study abroad program for a semester and took some interesting classes. My big huge regret is that I took out loans. I really wish I had worked my way through. I've never made enough money to justify the loan balance.

That said, college isn't for everyone. It's ridiculous how many entry level jobs require a degree these days.

 

[TmlndSpdwy03]

I did not read all the posts but since you can not guarantee that being a SAHM will always be a possibility (divorce, death, husbands unemployment, etc) it is important to know that you can support both yourself and your children if necissary. For that reason, I think getting a college degree is extremely important.

 

[candielips]

I am a SAHM to 2 beautiful, , and young kids and I do NOT have a college degree. But I wish I did. I am always fearful of the unknown and the fact that if something happened I don't know how I would provide for my children.
That being said, I plan on going back to school in the next year or so and finding a degree in something that I will enjoy. I would love to go to school to become a teacher, but at 31 and only going back part-time, I worry that I am too old to commit to that much education.