College decision - WWYD?

[Disney Doll]

I think they should go to the schools that offer good undergrad programs for what they are each inetrested in. Maybe that means 2 different schools. Do they have to go to the same school?

 

[MrsPete]

Do I understand correctly that the two schools could both be categorized as "really good but not great"? If so, I see no reason to pay more for a school that isn't really better. However, that's not the whole story:

Are they the type of students would need the smaller school environment? Or are they the type who'd appreciate the increased opportunities available at a larger school?

If I'm understanding correctly that it's going to be an equal education /equal opportunity for a job after graduation, I wouldn't spend the money. If the degrees will essentially have the same value in the work world, I'd rather keep that money to help my sons in other ways: Give them an allowance rather than having them work during college, pay for a semester overseas, get them nicer laptops than you could otherwise afford. The money you won't spend on the private school will go a long way towards things that'll be helpful to them in college.

If you decide to go with the smaller, private school I'd be 100% certain on one thing: Will this money be available again for sophomore, junior, and senior years? Private schools are well-known for doing the bait-and-switch thing. They like to give out scholarships for freshmen, but they aren't renewable -- so sophomore year you face the choice of paying $$$$$ or transfering.

Also, be sure you've compared apples to apples. For example, if one of the schools provides free books, include that in your cost comparison. Do parking stickers cost about the same at the two schools? What about other fees? Are the two schools comparable in distance? All those things matter.

Finally, IF they want the more expensive option, are they willing to pay the difference? That would make a difference to me (even if I ended up paying it for them later, if the question were concerning my kids, I'd like to hear whether they'd spend the money if it meant working more hours or taking out loans).

 

[MrsPete]

I will speak from experience.

I'll speak from experience too:

I went to a state school. In my area, an average state school is better academically and is harder to get into than an average private school. Yes, you can find top-notch private schools that are superior, but we're talking average schools here -- which is what I think the OP is describing too.

With NO financial help from my family, I worked VERY HARD to get through school, but I came out with no debt.

I graduated in December and started teaching the first week of January and have been consistantly employed in my field for 19 years now. My husband graduated from the same school (though we didn't know each other 'til after he graduated), and he too started working within days of graduation.

Would I do it again? Absolutely! With no debt, my paycheck was MINE from the very first day. At a big school, I had great opportunities that wouldn't have been available to me at a smaller school. If I were suddenly 18 years old again and just starting college, I would absolutely take the same route.

 

[minkydog]

What would *I* do? I would let my boys decide. They are certainly old enough to decide which program they want to and more importantly, how they intend to pay for it. It's great that you can afford to shell out $18,000/year for their educations, but i have to point out that you could put that money into your own retirement account and be in a better position to support *yourself* in 20 or so years. Remember, they can get grants and loans for college. Retirement is totally on your own dime. I would never short-change my retirement to give my kids the expensive gift of higher learning, especially when they have the opportunity for a nearly free ride.

I realize that my stance will cause a lot of ruffled feathers. A whole lot of parents will differ from me. But you know what? DH and I both put ourselves through college by ourselves, with no help from our families whatsoever. We came from poverty. Our parents couldn't pay ANYTHING. So we worked, took out loans, applied for every grant and scholarship we could find. It took each of us 5 years to get through, but we each graduated with 2 usuable degrees(no Medieval Art History or Philosophy for us.)

DH is on disability. I cannot work more that 18 hours/week because I am the main caregiver for our handicapped son and my DH. There is NO WAY we can afford to pay for our DD18 to go to college. Thankfully, our fixed income qualifies her to get some grants and scholarships. We gave her the option of living at home and going to the local tech school, but she wants to major in fine arts. Fine with me, if she can afford it. We left it up to her. She chose to go to a public 4-year college because A) they gave her a decent financial aid package and B) she didn't want to graduate with $80,000 worth of debt. She's willing to take out some small loans and I think she has made the right decision. But it's her decision either way. Our first obligation is to manage our retirment investments so that we don't become a burden to our kids--we're 54. We need to hang on to every dollar because we're going to be supporting ourselves, plus Christian until we die.

No one can know your situation but you, so none of us can tell you what to do. We can only give you examples of our own decisions. I wish you and your boys the best in whatever decision you make.

 

[cassandrap83]

I would not spend the extra money.

In the end, no one cares where your piece of paper comes from, they just want you to have it.

 

[Pinkpony]

Wow! Thanks everyone for your replies!

I don't know how to multi-quote, so I'm going to answer a few questions and comments as best I can.

OceanAnnie - We don't know why they offered more. We were shocked! We had put this baby to bed a few months ago (we thought). And the $10,000 per year is available to them for 5 years if they keep a certain GPA.

SamGordon - Yes, we're considering one at each school.

CollegeJunkie - I say it's locally known because it's not a big private school like BYU or something. But they boast good percentages of getting their grads into med school and passing the CPA exam.

Disney845 - This is how we feel too and why I'm getting feelers out to see if we're just being too super cheap when we shouldn't be.

DiegosMom - Yes, they would love the experience this small private school has to offer: Smaller classes, Christian atmosphere...but the larger state school doesn't scare them. Thanks for sharing.

(I'm going by sketchy handwritten notes here, so if I'm not making sense, please forgive me.)

Mrs.Pete - "Do I understand correctly that the two schools could both be categorized as "really good but not great"? If so, I see no reason to pay more for a school that isn't really better." Yes, you understand correctly. The state school is our third largest in the state and is a good school but not hard to get into; the private school is known for the local rich kids going to it and also for paying full rides to super smart ones that can't afford it, neither of which category mine fall into.

Thank you, everyone, for your responses. We have a couple of hours to decide whether to send them to enrollment tomorrow or not.

You guys are great!

 

[LilyWDW]

Another point of view...

I am currently working on my Masters. I was accepted to Texas A&M, Oklahoma State, and East Tennessee State University. After doing research, I decided on ETSU for many reasons, even though the other schools had bigger "names".

One was the money. It would have cost about double a semester for me to attend Texas A&M or Oklahoma State.

Second was the rankings. I did a ton of research on schools. East Tennessee State is accredited, ranks very well among business schools and MBAs, and has a lot of professors who do research and write articles. As a school, it was JUST as good of a program as the other two options.

Third were the opportunities. ETSU has great access to many large companies and key people. Being able to meet the CEO of Eastman Chemical was amazing!

Finally, ETSU was local. So, I felt more comfortable about having access to the campus in case I had issues. Even if my classes were online, I could still get to the campus and speak one on one with my professors.

The reason I typed all of this out is to show that the choice goes beyond money. However, based on what was written in the OP, I would go with the public school. It does not seem, based on the information provided, that the private/more expensive school would do anything different for them. As such, I would not spend the money as it really does not seem that it would have better value.

 

[crz4mm2]

No I would not spend the extra money.

 

[antmaril]

Honestly, I would go with the larger public school as most careers these days require an advanced degree. From the sound of your post OP, it sounds like your children are on a professional career path.

By getting a free undergraduate degree, your family will be in good financial shape for when the twins decide to purse their MD and MBA degrees

This

 

[Rora]

Honestly, I would go with the larger public school as most careers these days require an advanced degree. From the sound of your post OP, it sounds like your children are on a professional career path.

By getting a free undergraduate degree, your family will be in good financial shape for when the twins decide to purse their MD and MBA degrees

MTE.

Best of luck to them both!

 

[tvguy]

I'd take the money issue completely out of the decision process. Which school does each child like best? Which is the best fit? That's all the matters, and no, they should only go to the same school if they want to.

As for my editorial comment:
I will say, that I'm in California,my daughter's PUBLIC school tution was $12,000, my son's Private school tuition was $43,000, so $16,000 for a private education is a bargain, and with the latest discount, it's a steal.
And around here, kids got their offers in December and most made their selections in January before the early admission acceptance deadline...so they really have put this off to the very last minute!!!

 

[MrsPete]

I would not spend the extra money.

In the end, no one cares where your piece of paper comes from, they just want you to have it.

I wouldn't say that I'd like my girls to go to just any old school, but I do totally agree that it doesn't have to be THE big-name, prestigious school . . . or it's all just trash. I've been saying that for years, and it wasn't too long ago that A BUNCH OF PEOPLE disagreed, saying that the college experience is worth any sacrafice, it's wrong to even consider money in the equation, everyone has debt and this is good debt . . . but in the last two years or so, I think more and more people are becoming less willing to borrow, and that's led to more people thinking the way you and I do.

i have to point out that you could put that money into your own retirement account and be in a better position to support *yourself* in 20 or so years. Remember, they can get grants and loans for college. Retirement is totally on your own dime. I would never short-change my retirement to give my kids the expensive gift of higher learning, especially when they have the opportunity for a nearly free ride.

Why does this always come up when college money is discussed? Personally, I've saved for BOTH my retirement AND my children's college for two decades now, and I don't intend to short-change either one. Sure, a little more in either account would be welcome, and we'll make careful choices so as to spend our money wisely, but I'm not going to have to eat cat food because I'm going to pay my daughters' tuition.

Minkydog, that isn't really aimmed at you. Just wondering why someone ALWAYS brings up the idea that if you're paying for college you must have been ignoring retirement. It's like someone asks how to cook chicken, and people pipe up with, "Don't forget the potatoes too!"

Thank you, everyone, for your responses. We have a couple of hours to decide whether to send them to enrollment tomorrow or not.

A new thought just occured to me: You have so little time to make this big decision, and your young sons probably aren't ready to make this choice on the spur of the moment. WHAT IF you go ahead and register them for both colleges and then drop one of them when the tuition's due in August?

I assume there'd be some cost, some fee for dropping out at the last minute, and I don't know how significant that'd be. I know that around here college students all have to "commit" by May 1st, but that really means they have to make a non-refundable housing deposit. Since your boys are looking at local schools, I assume that's not an issue for you.

Normally I'd say that it's time to decide, waivering is useless, avoid fees . . . but you've had SO LITTLE TIME, and I think I'd be willing to take a fee to buy a little more time.

 

[Pinkpony]

I'd take the money issue completely out of the decision process. Which school does each child like best? Which is the best fit? That's all the matters, and no, they should only go to the same school if they want to.

As for my editorial comment:
I will say, that I'm in California,my daughter's PUBLIC school tution was $12,000, my son's Private school tuition was $43,000, so $16,000 for a private education is a bargain, and with the latest discount, it's a steal.
And around here, kids got their offers in December and most made their selections in January before the early admission acceptance deadline...so they really have put this off to the very last minute!!!

They both like the private school the best by far for many various reasons, but are not opposed to the state school.

Yes, our state has pretty low in-state tuition compared to most and it is a bargain either way, private or state.

They both had made their decision quite some time ago. This latest offer from the private school came as quite a surprise. We had no idea private schools even did that. And I have no idea why they're recruiting so hard at this point in the game. Maybe their numbers are low?

 

[MrsPete]

And I have no idea why they're recruiting so hard at this point in the game. Maybe their numbers are low?

Well, your boys both made a cost-conscious decision. Perhaps more and more students are doing the same.

Also, borrowing is becoming tougher. Perhaps some of the people who (in the past) would've chosen the more expensive option literally can't make that choice today.

Obviously I'm just guessing, but I agree with you: I would've long stopped looking for such offers.

 

[Pinkpony]

I wouldn't say that I'd like my girls to go to just any old school, but I do totally agree that it doesn't have to be THE big-name, prestigious school . . . or it's all just trash. I've been saying that for years, and it wasn't too long ago that A BUNCH OF PEOPLE disagreed, saying that the college experience is worth any sacrafice, it's wrong to even consider money in the equation, everyone has debt and this is good debt . . . but in the last two years or so, I think more and more people are becoming less willing to borrow, and that's led to more people thinking the way you and I do.Why does this always come up when college money is discussed? Personally, I've saved for BOTH my retirement AND my children's college for two decades now, and I don't intend to short-change either one. Sure, a little more in either account would be welcome, and we'll make careful choices so as to spend our money wisely, but I'm not going to have to eat cat food because I'm going to pay my daughters' tuition.

Minkydog, that isn't really aimmed at you. Just wondering why someone ALWAYS brings up the idea that if you're paying for college you must have been ignoring retirement. It's like someone asks how to cook chicken, and people pipe up with, "Don't forget the potatoes too!" A new thought just occured to me: You have so little time to make this big decision, and your young sons probably aren't ready to make this choice on the spur of the moment. WHAT IF you go ahead and register them for both colleges and then drop one of them when the tuition's due in August?

I assume there'd be some cost, some fee for dropping out at the last minute, and I don't know how significant that'd be. I know that around here college students all have to "commit" by May 1st, but that really means they have to make a non-refundable housing deposit. Since your boys are looking at local schools, I assume that's not an issue for you.

Normally I'd say that it's time to decide, waivering is useless, avoid fees . . . but you've had SO LITTLE TIME, and I think I'd be willing to take a fee to buy a little more time.

If it wasn't for the fact that I felt this local state school was as nice as our two other very well-known state schools as far as academics, I wouldn't send them there. The others are only well-known because of their athletics and Greek system, which do not interest our kids at all.

We're taking your advice and going ahead and registering them tomorrow and giving them more time to decide. It was sprung on us so quickly that we need time to "talk it out" more.

I really do appreciate everyone's opinion and advice. I've read them all and you've all made very good points. Thanks again!

 

[tvguy]

This latest offer from the private school came as quite a surprise. We had no idea private schools even did that. And I have no idea why they're recruiting so hard at this point in the game. Maybe their numbers are low?

Well, part of the issue is the IRS has been threatening to go after private colleges sitting on 10's of millions of dollars in endowments, instead of doling it out.
My son got $10,000 a year at his private college. That, after a local developer gave the school $100 million (yes, $100 million)

Hey, if your kid gets into Harvard, and your family income is under $60,000, tuition is waved as they try to spend down their endowment money.

 

[disney1990]

How does the class size differ at the 2 schools -- I imagine the public school has very larges classes. My daughter did really well in a school with small classes; at the school with larger classes (in the hundreds) she dropped out.

 

[Art 1]

I would spend the money. That is what money is for, spending. What better thing to spend it on than your child's education.

 

[golfgal]

They both like the private school the best by far for many various reasons, but are not opposed to the state school.

Yes, our state has pretty low in-state tuition compared to most and it is a bargain either way, private or state.

They both had made their decision quite some time ago. This latest offer from the private school came as quite a surprise. We had no idea private schools even did that. And I have no idea why they're recruiting so hard at this point in the game. Maybe their numbers are low?

I would let them go to the private school if that is what they want. They will be more successful in an environment where they are comfortable and want to be. I agree with calling the private school back and letting them know what the competition is doing. They will come up with more money if they really want your kids.

Around here the private schools far exceed the state schools for educational quality, networking opportunities, overall campus life, etc.and for difficulty getting in. Having one of the private schools on your resume here will get you farther along then one of the state schools. There are a handful of state schools, and the University of MN, however that are very good as well.

DH and I attended private colleges that we paid for on our own, no help from our parents. It was MUCH less expensive in the long run to go to those schools then it would have been to go to any state school. Also, our schools gave us MORE money each year-DH paid nothing his last 2 years.

We graduated with $16,000 in student loans-each. It took us less than 5 years to pay them off, we had a fantastic credit rating as a result, were able to buy our first home MUCH easier than any of our friends, got better rates on our mortgage, car loans, etc. and in the long run SAVED money because we had student loans. They are not evil like some seem to think--but you do need to be smart about taking them out. It makes zero sense to take out $100,000 in loans to get a job that pays $30K/year--but taking out $100K for a job that is going to pay $400k, no big deal.

To multi-quote--click on the " button next to the one that says "quote". Once you have selected all the ones you want to quote, hit reply at the bottom of the page. You will see {QUOTE} at the beginning and the end of each section--just start typing your reply after the second {QUOTE}.

 

[minkydog]

Why does this always come up when college money is discussed? Personally, I've saved for BOTH my retirement AND my children's college for two decades now, and I don't intend to short-change either one. Sure, a little more in either account would be welcome, and we'll make careful choices so as to spend our money wisely, but I'm not going to have to eat cat food because I'm going to pay my daughters' tuition.

Minkydog, that isn't really aimmed at you. Just wondering why someone ALWAYS brings up the idea that if you're paying for college you must have been ignoring retirement. It's like someone asks how to cook chicken, and people pipe up with, "Don't forget the potatoes too!"

I bring it up because far too many parents don't fund their retirement like they should in the mistaken belief that they should sacrifice to pay for their grown child's higher education. I think parents have to make sure they're taking care of business first. If they have 6 months of emergency funds AND they have retirement investments in place, well, then go ahead and pay you're kids' way through whatever school they pick. Too many parents do not do their homework before they commit to paying for college and they may very well find themselves unable to retire when they need to.