Christmas Spending among family

[Lucky4me]

We slowly started spending less and less each year on our adult kids, to now where we give them $100 bill, a few items of clothing and some stocking stuffers. dd 14, who is still in the house gets more.
I can't imagine spending hundreds or thousands on adult children in their late 20s and older. I think this is a newer trend for the middle class. When we were growing up, Santa Claus stopped coming when you moved out of the house.
I can see if you're wealthy and have that kind of money to give, but I see it happening with friends and family I know don't have the finances. They charge Christmas. That's insane.

afa stepchildren, my kids had to watch as their stepcousin opened up thousands of dollars of gifts every Christmas day while they opened up one $20 or $30 gift from their Father and Stepmother. It incensed me. He believed because he paid child support, I was the one who should purchase the big Christmas gifts. Which I did, but what a cheap you know what. They still got nowhere near what they spent on his wife's niece. If they were going to do that, it should have been done privately, not thrown in my kids faces. When you're 10 or 11, you can't help but notice that kind of blatant favoritism. It's hurtful.

 

[need2cruise]

I can see spending more on a young child who is still at home vs grown adults who are out of the house. I think thats why before, nothing was ever thought about it when it was done. But now that two are grown and out of the house and married but still getting the same treatment while the others treated differently is what the others are upset about!

 

[Silent1CB]

No gifts to adults in our family. Only kids. That's how its done.
And as an adult, we haven't received gifts from our parents in decades.

 

[klacey1]

I can see spending more on a young child who is still at home vs grown adults who are out of the house. I think thats why before, nothing was ever thought about it when it was done. But now that two are grown and out of the house and married but still getting the same treatment while the others treated differently is what the others are upset about!

I agree-- I think this would be the ONLY situation where this could be okay. DBF is in his 20's and still has siblings who live at home (18, 17, and 12). The twelve year old probably gets twice the amount of money spent on him as my DBF. This makes sense though-- DBF got a "full" Christmas when he was that age, too. I believe in slowing tapering off the gifts as a "child" grows older.
However, if all of the kids/stepkids are adults and out of the house...definitely not right

 

[ilovejack02]

We slowly started spending less and less each year on our adult kids, to now where we give them $100 bill, a few items of clothing and some stocking stuffers. dd 14, who is still in the house gets more.
I can't imagine spending hundreds or thousands on adult children in their late 20s and older. I think this is a newer trend for the middle class. When we were growing up, Santa Claus stopped coming when you moved out of the house.
I can see if you're wealthy and have that kind of money to give, but I see it happening with friends and family I know don't have the finances. They charge Christmas. That's insane.

afa stepchildren, my kids had to watch as their stepcousin opened up thousands of dollars of gifts every Christmas day while they opened up one $20 or $30 gift from their Father and Stepmother. It incensed me. He believed because he paid child support, I was the one who should purchase the big Christmas gifts. Which I did, but what a cheap you know what. They still got nowhere near what they spent on his wife's niece. If they were going to do that, it should have been done privately, not thrown in my kids faces. When you're 10 or 11, you can't help but notice that kind of blatant favoritism. It's hurtful.

I just dont understand that thinking! I wouldnt expect him to pay for say a trampoline at my house.. which would be a big present, but wouldnt he want them to have gifts at his home as well? WTH.. is wrong with him, I buy for my child and stepson because I enjoy making them happy and seeing them smile.
We would have never assumed that his BIO mom was going to buy all the gifts because she got child support , plus she didnt send his toys over here .. so we needed things here for him to play with.

Karma is a witch.. hope it comes back to bite him in the hiney.