Christmas Gift price cap - discuss!

[TSR6]

So I'm looking for comments.

Just imagine that you are the following:

You've been dating someone for nearly 6 months. You get 90% of the Christmas shopping done for that person, and then that person discusses a gift price cap, more so asking if you and that person should have a cap. The person tosses out a dollar value.... as you go through the approx prices of the gifts you've already bought, and then agree to that value, as you are "Close to, or at" that value.

but...then you decide that there is one more thing that you'd like to get this person. You are already over the price cap by $10-$15. Mystery item that you'd like to get is $25.

Choices are:
A. Return minor $14 item, and purchase $25 item, and still be over the cap slightly.
B. Screw the last item on the list, and stay at the $10-15 over the cap...because hey, who can truly realize that extra $10-$15.
C. Screw it, Keep $14 item and buy $25 item, and who cares if you go over the cap. Caps are only approx values, and anywhere within $30 of that cap is acceptable.

Comments? Discuss.......

 

[jamzots]

I vote for "C"

 

[2BigKIdz]

I'd go with "c" too. It feels good to give to those we love.

 

[kaylajr]

c

 

[Imzadi]

Sorry, I disagree with C. If you made an agreement & then you break it, what will it say about your word, & more importantly how much you respect him, by honoring what you agreed on?

This person is obviously feeling uncomfortable about gift giving already. That's why they wanted to AGREE on a cap - so there is some guidelines the TWO of you are following.

If on Christmas, (s)he opens all his presents & clearly realizes you spent way more than agreed on, that he will feel like a real S&*^, and a cheapskate in comparison with his gift. Is THIS what you want the giving of your present to invoke? Because if it is, then the gift giving is more about you & how it makes YOU feel, than how (s)he will feel RECEIVING more expensive presents.

And it also gives you the upperhand, by out doing him, which is what he may have been trying to avoid, by setting an AGREED upon cap. He wanted the presents to be equally of value, so neither of you out does each other.

Why don't you just go to him/her & say, you found an extra present & would like to raise the cap? Or ask him if he will be uncomfortable about being given something extra - and that you are NOT expecting the same in return - unless you are.

 

[Mermaid02]

I say "A".....

 

[Cindy B]

A definetely.

 

[casey49781]

i am a more gift giver to people than my bf,,,so i give more to my family and friends,,we set a amount for each other usually a 100.00,,,,if he feels like hes cheap maybe he is and thats his problem,,,,lol,,,,

 

[Mermaid02]

Maybe he has limited funds. Maybe he's realistic. Maybe this is only a 6 month old relationship and he doesn't want to go overboard. I don't think it's "cheap" to put a limit on what someone spends.

 

[aprilgail2]

I wouldn't do A since I hate returning things but I would just lie and say I got a good deal on sale things if questioned about the cost...I do that with my mom every year...every year she says 'oh but you spent to much" and every year I say "oh I got a real good deal on things and didn't spend that much"....

 

[inaminute]

I go with C and if you have to tell a little white lie about bargains to save their ego, then so be it.

 

[dismom9761]

I go with C and if you have to tell a little white lie about bargains to save their ego, then so be it.

'

I agree.That is what I am going to do.

 

[Skywalker]

That's what I'm going to do to.

There is someone (a cousin) I exchange with and we have a $50 limit, but I saw something I really want to give her and it costs closer to $100. So, I bought it anyway and if any comment on price comes up, then I am just going to say something similar about being a good shopper or getting a good bargain or whatever. Who needs to know?

 

[Disney Doll]

Why not just hang on to some of the stuff you bought for Christmas and gve it to the person for their birthday?

I'll tell you what...when I was single and dating, if my BF & I had agreed upon a "cap" amount for Christmas and then he went over the cap (and that baloney about a sale makes it worse...don't lie because I am not stupid) I'd be ticked. I'd feel foolish and cheap.

DH & I met 3 weeks before Christmas. For that 1st Christmas, I wasn't about to spend hundreds of dollars on a guy I barely knew, ecven though e was quite nice and I liked him. So I went out and bought a few small things that sort of said "him" to me...a realtor ornament, a book about golf, a multi-pack of TicTacs(he is addicted to them), a shamrock thing (he's Irish)...you get the idea...I probably spent $25-$50. So he comes over with a Waterford crystal ring holder, which was lovely and I still have it, but I sort of felt like a cheap heel because it probably cost like $100 and here I was giving him a bunch of little kinck-knack things. He, of course, loved what I gave him and said he appreciated it because I took the time to shop for things that were "him". I have since gotten over that need to give gifts that may be of equal "value" because you can't put a price on true value, but I try not to make others feel bad by going WAY overboard, especially if there's a money limit agreement.

 

[froglady]

I agree with Disney Doll; give him the "perfect" gift you found, and put one or two of the others aside for a birthday, Valentine's Day, etc. Of course, maybe HE will go over the limit, and you can just give him everything.

One a side note (talking about guys and gifts), I was once casually dating someone before Christmas; I think we met in October. Anyway, he "disappeared" about a week before Christmas; no phone calls, nothing. (It was back in the days when nice girls didn't call guys unless you were in a long term relationship. ) He started calling AFTER the holidays, including my January birthday, then he "disappeared" again before Valentine's Day, which is when I realized that he was either too cheap or too insecure to give me a gift! (I had purchased a small gift for him, and certainly was not expecting anything more than a token gift.) Whichever it was, I had no intention of dealing with it, so I said good-bye.

Before any of you assume that I'm unreasonable, this is the same guy who called me TWO hours before a FORMAL fundraiser ball, and never said boo about how I looked, how appreciative he was that I could pull it off on such short notice, etc.

Talk about a toxic relationship! In retrospect, I was young and foolish to put up with it at all.

 

[kilee]

If it's not too much over I'd just buy the other gift. Maybe you got some of the things on sale. A lot depends on the price limit. If it were $300 and you spent $350- it probably wouldn't show as much. Now if it's $75 and you spent $150 it will probably show. I know dh and I set a price limit and pretty much try to come within about $20 of that either way.

 

[mickeyfan2]

I vote for D:

Buy the $25 item and keep the $14 item for another gift.

 

[florida-again]

If you were male I would say C, but as you are female I would say definitely A, men (especially BF) have that weird pride thing going on.

 

[Maleficent13]

I vote for D:

Buy the $25 item and keep the $14 item for another gift.

or, E: Buy the $25 item and keep it for bday, vday, or some other celebrated day.

 

[Alaska Catdog]

Extra gifts are precisely why "un-birthdays" exist. Wait a month or so and gift 'em that $14.00 gift for no reason other than it's his/her Un-birthday. That's what I'd do. I love un-birthdays.