Christmas candy in an Easter basket...

[Toad_Passenger]

Oh my goodness! Y'all are too much! I highly doubt the OP is some horrible, selfish, ungrateful daughter in law. Good grief, she was only posting something she found humorous, that's all. I'd think it humorous too if my in-laws gave my DD's Christmas m&m's for Easter. It's obviously left over from Christmas which is why it's funny. Red and green m&m's aren't exactly the colors of Easter! I'd hardly be ungrateful but I'm sure I'd laugh it over with DH that it was from Christmas. I'm sure it was with a light heart that the OP posted this, thinking it'd get a laugh. Not with some mean, rude, entitled spirit where she wanted to vent.

OP, this thread have given me a great chuckle and proved to me once again why I'm always hesitant to post a thread on the community boards. I cannot believe that people are accusing you of bringing up your son with a sense of entitlement. I'm sure you were gracious when your son received his gift and doubt you laughed in your in-laws face. I wonder how many pages this thread will generate...

In the end, I completely agree with you that the OP is not some horrible person. I think the thing that fanned the flames was the immediate use of the term "cheap." No one wants to be known as cheap, regardless of their economic situation, and I think that set people off a bit, as it made the OP sound a little ungrateful. Maybe it was a poor choice of words.

Add to that the fact that coming and sharing it with everyone here also made it seem like they were gossiping behind someones' back, seemed a little low, too.

As I said, I don't think the OP really intended to ignite anything, nor do I think their 3 year old is growing up to expect anything and everything.

It's all good here at the Dis.

 

[luvsJack]

Good heavens! Did everyone eat too much candy yesterday and now have sugar hangovers? Such arguing over a vent about candy and such attitudes about someone buying the wrong kind of candy.

How many of you buy candy on sale between holidays? And if you are one (I know most everyone over on the budget boards does) that does, what do you do with all that "seasonal' candy? That's probably all the mil did was buy candy on sale after Christmas. Good heavens, its not like she bought a bunch that had been recalled or something.

And for the other side, take a breath. The OP just had a comment that she couldn't very well say out loud, so, rather than be rude she said it here.

My mil has never bought an Easter present for my kids and very few birthday presents. They only by at Christmas. And guess what it is bought at the "cheapy cheap" places and many times it is something that doesn't get used (like the pink sweatshirt with kittens on it that she bought dd this year). But "horrors" --we enjoy the time with the family and don't even give the gift a second thought.

My own mother doesn't buy gifts for Easter either. She buys at Christmas and birthdays. She can't afford to buy at other times of the year. Maybe the OP's mil can't either but buying clearance candy is a way for her to keep it in the budget.

It was a gift. Not what the Op would have bought, so she had a comment-that doesn't make her a bad person. But, it wasn't necessarily a cheap or tacky gift. They thought of their grandchild and wanted to give him an Easter basket--that thought is never cheap or tacky.

 

[Kim&Chris]

Do you REALLY think a 3 POUND bag of Christmas M&M's cost less than 1 Reese's Egg or a small bag of Palmer candies with some $.50 plastic eggs. Even if the bag was 1.50, you can get an Easter toy at Walmart for $1. A $1 bubble wand.

It is the THOUGHT that counts and her in-laws put ZERO thought into the gift. Even if it was a HANDMADE card that didn't cost anything.

I feel like I'm reading a different thread. I'm in the twilight zone.

EXACTLY!!!! Grandma could have bought an entire bag of Easter M&M's for $2.50 at Walmart...even less if she used one of the dozen coupons that were in the paper pre-Easter. She's just cheap, and the OP is just venting.

 

[3prettyprincesses]

In the end, I completely agree with you that the OP is not some horrible person. I think the thing that fanned the flames was the immediate use of the term "cheap." No one wants to be known as cheap, regardless of their economic situation, and I think that set people off a bit, as it made the OP sound a little ungrateful. Maybe it was a poor choice of words.

Add to that the fact that coming and sharing it with everyone here also made it seem like they were gossiping behind someones' back, seemed a little low, too.

As I said, I don't think the OP really intended to ignite anything, nor do I think their 3 year old is growing up to expect anything and everything.

It's all good here at the Dis.

Ya, cheap doesn't have a good connation, does it? I agree, I'm sure it was all in good fun that the OP even posted it. And I'm sure she wasn't belittling her in-laws over Christmas candy. Just making a funny observation. Heck, if it were my kids they wouldn't care at all, candy is candy! It all tastes the same and they've definitely inherited my love all of things chocolate. Wait, can you inherit that? I'll bet you can!

 

[rie'smom]

You can always tell on these threads who likes their inlaws and who doesn't. If your inlaws had given your son a trip to WDW, the haters would say "How dare they take the joy from you?"

OP, don't expect more from them than they can give and I don't mean monetarily. I remember one Christmas my grandmother gave me an off brand Barbie doll convertible. My mom went on and on about how cheap she was. I loved it and couldn't understand why she was acting that way. It made my mom look ungrateful to my then 8 year old eyes. I'm 52 and it is a Christmas memory I will never forget.

BTW, she didn't like my grandmother and nothing would have been good enough. My grandmother gave me an upright piano one year and my mom was ticked.

 

[busyshrew]

I agree that a lot of us are bringing our own baggage to this discussion.

But, at the same time - it seems a bit of over-reaction occured. Seriously folks, it seemed like a small vent to me. And yes, I actually think DIS is a pretty fine place to vent these little things that we KNOW are not, in the long run, important. We don't know each other's identities, it's a big group forum.... c'mon.....

If the OP had posted this vent about her own mother instead of an in-law, would the reaction have been so strong I wonder?

 

[MosMom]

You can always tell on these threads who likes their inlaws and who doesn't. If your inlaws had given your son a trip to WDW, the haters would say "How dare they take the joy from you?"

OP, don't expect more from them than they can give and I don't mean monetarily. I remember one Christmas my grandmother gave me an off brand Barbie doll convertible. My mom went on and on about how cheap she was. I loved it and couldn't understand why she was acting that way. It made my mom look ungrateful to my then 8 year old eyes. I'm 52 and it is a Christmas memory I will never forget.

BTW, she didn't like my grandmother and nothing would have been good enough. My grandmother gave me an upright piano one year and my mom was ticked.

I think you're TOTALLY off base with who and who dosen't like their in-laws based on these threads. I ADORE my MIL. She is the salt of the earth to me. I think hucifer's in-laws were CHEAP with the 3 lb. bag of candy though. Cheap because they put no thought into it. Your grandma put thought into your off brand Barbie car. Two totally different scenarios.

 

[NMAmy]

Wow, you sure poked up a hornet's nest this morning!

The 3-pound bag will find its way to my office instead of inside of his tummy.

It's very generous of you to take one for the team that way, pal.

(camo colored easter eggs hidden in completely obscure, impossible to find places - with MIL demanding... "Did you find the last egg??? Did you find the last egg yet????)

Please know I'm not laughing at your child's issues but at the fact that there are really camo colored easter eggs available. What kind of a sick mind came up with those?

 

[rie'smom]

I knew after I posted that I would get the "you should be grateful" comments.

Of COURSE it's nice that they gave him an Easter basekt. But if they stopped buying stuff, I would be very happy with that. They can show their love in non-materialistic ways and it would mean a lot more.



Yep, he's turning three and doesn't care a lick. (My teenage nieces received Christmas candy, too.) The 3-pound bag will find its way to my office instead of inside of his tummy.

I think you're TOTALLY off base with who and who dosen't like their in-laws based on these threads. I ADORE my MIL. She is the salt of the earth to me. I think hucifer's in-laws were CHEAP with the 3 lb. bag of candy though. Cheap because they put no thought into it. Your grandma put thought into your off brand Barbie car. Two totally different scenarios.

Ok, you can ALMOST tell who likes their inlaws and who doesn't. If you've read any of the inlaw discussions in the past, you know ahead of time who is coming to chime in and you also know pretty much which side of the fence they'll choose.
I think they had candy left over and didn't want to waste it. If my inlaws had done this, I wouldn't care and would never call them cheap. So now you know which side of the fence I choose.

 

[hucifer]

This thread has a life of its own.

To those that are concerned about the inlaws' financial situation...they are retired, but they're all set financially. In other words, they live comfortably...probably because they never spend full price on anything.

MosMom, I knew you were kidding, I was just going along with it.

OP, this thread have given me a great chuckle and proved to me once again why I'm always hesitant to post a thread on the community boards. I cannot believe that people are accusing you of bringing up your son with a sense of entitlement. I'm sure you were gracious when your son received his gift and doubt you laughed in your in-laws face. I wonder how many pages this thread will generate...

You know, I have to say that I knew the battlefield before I dropped the bomb. Good thing I'm wearing my armor. And yes, we made sure our son thanked everyone for all the gifts he received yesterday. My husband and I joked about their "frugality" away from my son's presence.

Wow, you sure poked up a hornet's nest this morning!

You noticed that?

It's very generous of you to take one for the team that way, pal.

Yes, and the people at work don't mind it, either.

 

[Wishing on a star]

I agree....
The OP was a vent, and I refuse to go on a bit-bull for-the-throat attack over a vent.

I also agree that it is not necessarily 'cheapness' (that may not have been the best choice of words) but it is the fact that it was indeed a cheap, and inappropriate gesture.

Knock off barbie car that the kid loved - frugal, but full of thought and completely appropriate.

Pounds of clearance Christmas Candy in April, for a toddler - cheap, thoughtless, and not appropriate in any way.

HUGE difference.

 

[rie'smom]

I agree....
The OP was a vent, and I refuse to go on a bit-bull for-the-throat attack over a vent.

I also agree that it is not necessarily 'cheapness' (that may not have been the best choice of words) but it is the fact that it was indeed a cheap, and inappropriate gesture.

Knock off barbie car that the kid loved - frugal, but full of thought and completely appropriate.

Pounds of clearance Christmas Candy in April, for a toddler - cheap, thoughtless, and not appropriate in any way.

HUGE difference.

I didn't realize the candy was just bought. I thought that it was leftover. That said, the OP said her inlaws are retired. My parents are retired and in their early 70s. They're well off financially but are way more frugal than they were.

 

[MosMom]

Personal attacks used to keep the low flying holier than thou beat you down for the slightest thing people quiet. We need personal attacks back, they solved so many of the DIS issues.

 

[rie'smom]

Personal attacks used to keep the low flying holier than thou beat you down for the slightest thing people quiet. We need personal attacks back, they solved so many of the DIS issues.

I've read on threads where people post they are still getting points for personal attacks.

 

[Wishing on a star]

I believe what MOsMom is saying is to ALLOW them again, so that when original posters are attacked under-the-radar then we can openly personally attack back, and run them off the board!!!

Problem is, this would bring us right down to their level....
Might be useful at times!!!!
But...

 

[rie'smom]

I believe what MOsMom is saying is to ALLOW them again, so that when original posters are attacked under-the-radar then we can openly personally attack back, and run them off the board!!!

Problem is, this would bring us right down to their level....
Might be useful at times!!!!
But...

Ok, I misinterpreted her post. It would make fun reading.

 

[MosMom]

I was just kidding...kind of.

 

[hucifer]

I believe what MOsMom is saying is to ALLOW them again, so that when original posters are attacked under-the-rader then we can openly personally attack back, and run them off the board!!!

Problem is, this would bring us right down to their level....
Might be useful at times!!!!
But...

My mom used to say to me and my sister when we would argue, "Fight nice, girls."

Then again, if she read my original post she might shake her head and say, "I thought I raised you better than that."

 

[cabanafrau]

OMG!!!

This is too funny! Reminds me of the inlaws Christmas Gift threads!!!

Hey, the candy doesn't bother me as much as what else my MIL put in my sons Easter Bag (along with the cheap dollar store crap candy...)

My son, who has visual-spatial and therefore hand-eye coordination issues got (camo colored easter eggs hidden in completely obscure, impossible to find places - with MIL demanding... "Did you find the last egg??? Did you find the last egg yet????)

Plus, a cheap dollar store RUBIKs Cube to frustrate him... and cheapy cheap lightweight plastic yo-yo's that do not even work... to FURTHER frustrate him.

Needless to say, immediately upon walking in the door yesterday afternoon the whole mess was dumped in the trash..

Honey, the wrong color of M&M's is the last of my MIL candy/gift issues....

PS: Sorry if it sounds like I am ranting... But MAN it feels good to actually voice this and get it off my chest!!! Now maybe I can just laugh about it and move on!!!

I thought I posted this earlier, but evidently my response got lost in a black hole or something.

Possibly your MIL doesn't have quite the grasp or understanding of your DS's visual and coordination difficulties. It could be that she thought those camo eggs would be just perfect for her DGS, as opposed to the usual pastel selection for Easter. Maybe she was just really excited for him to finally find them & the rest of the picture just flew right over her head.

I sure hope you didn't toss everything in the trash in front of him. Definitely a very bad message. I know from many of your posts you don't have a good relationship w/ your IL's. I don't really understand the circumstances, but can't see the point of spoiling your DS's relationship with them unless the situation is harmful.

It's a pretty good bet no one is 100-percent right in a relationship. Odds are about 100-percent nothing will ever have resolution if one or both sides continue to insist they are the only one in the right all of the time, never leaving room to allow for the possibility the other person(s) might just make a good point now and then.

 

[krcit]

This thread is too much!! OP posted a silly post about her in-laws giving her ds Christmas candy for Easter probably b/c she thought it was funny and we would appreciate it Now her in-laws are cheap and thoughtless? I don't get it. OP mentioned the candy was in a basket so we don't know what else was in there. Maybe her MIL bought the candy after Christmas on purpose to put in the basket. Everyone has different ideas about gift giving. I love to get gifts that I know someone will love. I put a lot of thought into gifts for my nieces and nephews and am rewarded by their excitement when they open them. My SIL on the other hand, buys gifts b/c she has to, it is another chore for her and she trys to get it over with as fast as possible so sometimes her gifts fall short of the mark. So what? We don't take it personall..it is just how my in-laws are. my DH is the same way. he doesn't care about getting gifts himself so he pretty much stinks in the gift giving department..he's not thoughtless as much as clueless