Chivalry please-a vent

[ilandrazdsw]

On our trip we noticed that it was actually mothers (and fathers) that were willing to give up seats before some others. The women (and men) would pair up children to make room (3 to 2 seast or a little one on an older ones lap) and them offer their seat to an elderly person or for young children to sit. I think a lot of it has to do with what you are aware of...as a parent you are aware of standing on a bus holding a child or the child trying to hold on as the bus moves, but if you don't have young children you may just not be aware of it...not intentionally being rude.
If the bus was to standing room only I would make my 5 and 3 yos get up to offer the seat to an elderly person who was obviously looking for a seat (obviously Dh and I would be standing already). I don't think we were ever taken up on it as then usually another person would offer up a seat, but my thoughts were that if my kids fell due to lack of balance they would be more resiliant.

 

[eeyorecher]

You know I dont mind so much that people dont stand up for me to let me have a seat but it absolutely drives me nuts when someone takes up a seat with their packages or bags. Last year we were there and we got on the bus and there were quite a few people standing and while I didnt necessarily need a seat nor did my young kids but I did see a few elderly people who could have used a seat but there were a lady and her daughter taking up 4 seats-the daughter was laying across 2 seats - not sleeping I might add- and she had her backpack and souvenir bag on the other seat. That made me a little mad!!

 

[Bree]

My goodness people!!! The OP was not talking about the 1% of the bus riders with a hidden disability. She's talking about the other 99% of the people that have seem to have lost their manners. My DH & friends were just talking about so many people having a "me me me" complex and this is a perfect example. It's frustrating trying to teach my children to be kind to others and be polite when able bodied adults don't even make an attempt.

 

[Traveliz]

You know I dont mind so much that people dont stand up for me to let me have a seat but it absolutely drives me nuts when someone takes up a seat with their packages or bags. Last year we were there and we got on the bus and there were quite a few people standing and while I didnt necessarily need a seat nor did my young kids but I did see a few elderly people who could have used a seat but there were a lady and her daughter taking up 4 seats-the daughter was laying across 2 seats - not sleeping I might add- and she had her backpack and souvenir bag on the other seat. That made me a little mad!!

That is bad - my pet peeve is people who won't sit down so you don't know there are available seats farther back. I can't tell you how many times I have been on a bus with seat around me but people insist on standing (because they can) so people farther up don't know and are forced to stand as well and not as many people can get on the bus because the driver sees all the people standing and thinks its full. It happens often. If you really have to stand - go all the way to the back of the bus to stand so others can see the seats and use them.

Liz

 

[kaytieeldr]

I am 21 so a

Really? You sound older (i.e more mature) when you post.

But are we going to wait for the next bus... are you kidding? We're not going to wait around standing for 15 minutes just so that we don't have to stand on the bus for 15 minutes, lol.

Ah, but a lot of Guests DO choose to wait - they'd rather stand an extra fifteen minutes on solid ground and be assured of a seat, than risk the situation described by the OP.

Chivalry isn't dead but it sure hides a lot.

Paging the Tag Fairy!!!! Anybody seen the Tag Fairy lately?

Heck someone could have even offered to hold her.

You know, I think people would be afraid to offer, for a variety of reasons... on the other hand, moms in your situation could start ASKING seated Guests to hold their children. Some will ignore you - but some might comply, and others might actually give up their seats!

 

[kadesha]

I think it's a nice thing to do to offer children a seat. Most of the time people offer a seat to me and my children, especially if I am holding on of them. I always accept for the children but usually end up standing because I don't always feel comfortable taking a seat. My DH almost always stands because he gives his seat away. I can only recall one time that he's sat on a bus and that's because we had the whole bus to ourselves. I would be disappointed if he didn't offer his seat. I understand that people are tired, but when you see small children having to stand on a bus, getting knocked down when the bus takes a turn, etc. I cannot understand why people wouldn't try to at least squeeze them in if they don't want to get up. As far as waiting for another bus--after waiting in one line there is no way I want to wait for another with my sleepy, complaining children. I'll take what I can get--even if it is standing. It's just a shame that a lot of adults would watch sleepy childen getting half knocked down because they are standing on a bus. I have a hard time believing that every seated adult has a hidden medical condition.

 

[ajk912]

Sometimes you get a seat, sometimes you don't. That is the chance you take. No one is entitled to a seat. The only people guaranteed a seat every time is a person with an ECV. Maybe next time you should rent a car.

I agree.

BTW, chivalry died for the most part in this country with all the equal rights movements. I don't expect chivalry anymore. I am grown woman and I can take care of myself just fine!!!

If I was the OP and I was holding a child, I would have asked whoever I was standing next to if my 2 year old could squeeze in on their seat. I have done that before, and I have never had someone say no. Two year olds don't take much space at all!

 

[blissventure]

I always give up my seat for a mom with a baby or young child. I would never offer to hold their child.
My seat is never more important to me than a child's safety.

And--this isn't a serious disability/hidden disability thread. If one has either of these, then of course, they should keep their seat for their own safety reasons.

 

[chigirl]

My goodness people!!! The OP was not talking about the 1% of the bus riders with a hidden disability. She's talking about the other 99% of the people that have seem to have lost their manners. My DH & friends were just talking about so many people having a "me me me" complex and this is a perfect example. It's frustrating trying to teach my children to be kind to others and be polite when able bodied adults don't even make an attempt.

Amen to that!

Manners and polite behavior are almost dead, due to the entitlement-based country we seem to be living in. Here's basic rules I've taught my children:

1. If you're a male, you give up your seat on the bus to women, children, elderly people, etc; you also hold open doors. If you're a female, you give up your seat for pregnant women & elderly people

2. Take your #%$^^$# hat off when our national anthem plays (this actually makes me sick when I see grown men at sporting events leave theirs on, and I am a Liberal!); put your hand over your heart while you're at it (and while you say the pledge

3. When someone sneezes, bless them

4. Please and thank you...thank you!

5. Nobody at the table eats until everyone has been served; the guest of honor goes first in a buffet line; help the little ones or the old ones if they need it

6. You don't pass up a funeral procession...stop your car and let them pass; if you're walking and one drives past, stop walking an bow your head

7. Put your flag up on 4th of July, Memorial Day, Veterans Day, 9/11, Presidents Day, Election Day...and take it down at night, for cripes sake (unless it is lit)

8. Aunts and Uncles will be addressed as such...no adult is called by their first name unless there is a "Mister" or "Ms" attached to it

9. Tables are for glasses, chairs are for *sses!

10. Don't be a jerk, its not pretty.

That said, a lovely man gave up his seat on a WDW bus in October 2006 when he saw I was ill and he also made sure I got off the bus okay. Thanks to him, he did this in front of his son and set a good example.

Teach your children well.

 

[maxiesmom]

I think it is just as rude to get on a bus and expect that someone will give you their seat. You never know what is going on in other people's lives. No one has any ability to be able to point at people and say "You there! I know you don't need a seat, get up!" While it is nice if people do offer you a seat, I don't think it is rude of them not to. Eveyone is tired!

Also, if you simply cannot stand on a bus, you do have a few options. You can wait for another bus, grab a taxi, or rent a car for your trip. That way you can make sure you have a seat. And that way you are taking responsibility for your own familiy's safety, and not relying on strangers to take the responsibility for you.

If I am in a position to give up my seat, and I think you need it more, I will offer it to you. Sometimes the bus is so tightly packed it is impossible to do so. But if you think it is dangerous for you or your family to ride on a standing room only bus, then simply don't.

There is nothing polite or nice about expecting someone to give you a kindness and then being mad when they don't.

 

[pirateandprincesses]

I was kidding about someone holding her-even if someone had offered I would have said no.

 

[Colleen27]

After hundreds of threads on here about people not giving up their seats because they have hidden disabilities, I think we can all agree that the comments are not directed at them. Most of us have been on a bus when able bodied people have lounged in their seats, while senior citizens or people holding sleeping children have stood. There is nothing we can do about it, except teach our own children the "right thing to do". I am not debating that some people have hidden disabilities-I was one of them on our trip in 2004.

Exactly. I feel for those who have hidden disabilities and mobility issues, but those aren't the people we're venting about. There do seem to be a fair number of flat out rude people in the world, even at Disney. Heck, we've been on standing-room buses where people haven't wanted to move their backpacks or shopping bags to free up a seat!

It is rude as all get-out, but the only thing we can do is teach our children better manners. I've noticed more than once that strangers sometimes give up their seats when they overhear me or DH gently reminding DS to give up a seat to a mom with a baby or an elderly guest, so obviously on some level they know it is the polite thing to do even if they don't want to bother doing it.

 

[Frankiesmom]

After hundreds of threads on here about people not giving up their seats because they have hidden disabilities, I think we can all agree that the comments are not directed at them. Most of us have been on a bus when able bodied people have lounged in their seats, while senior citizens or people holding sleeping children have stood. There is nothing we can do about it, except teach our own children the "right thing to do". I am not debating that some people have hidden disabilities-I was one of them on our trip in 2004.

I have to agree. But, minus the factoring "hidden disability"-the rest of those people are just rude.
Some people just weren't raised right-the word Trashy- comes to mind.
If it was one of my 3 kids who didn't give up their seat-they would get a big smack in the back of the head and yes, 1 of my dear children is Autistic-another "invisible disability"-but he was still raised right.

 

[dawnbu40]

I think it is just as rude to get on a bus and expect that someone will give you their seat. You never know what is going on in other people's lives. No one has any ability to be able to point at people and say "You there! I know you don't need a seat, get up!" While it is nice if people do offer you a seat, I don't think it is rude of them not to. Eveyone is tired!

Also, if you simply cannot stand on a bus, you do have a few options. You can wait for another bus, grab a taxi, or rent a car for your trip. That way you can make sure you have a seat. And that way you are taking responsibility for your own familiy's safety, and not relying on strangers to take the responsibility for you.

If I am in a position to give up my seat, and I think you need it more, I will offer it to you. Sometimes the bus is so tightly packed it is impossible to do so. But if you think it is dangerous for you or your family to ride on a standing room only bus, then simply don't.

There is nothing polite or nice about expecting someone to give you a kindness and then being mad when they don't.

I totally agree with this! I don't like all the posts complaining about having to stand on the bus and EXPECTING someone else to give up their seat.

 

[kmjmom]

Another part of the problem can be that after a long day at a park we all are anxious to sit and rliee our weary feet. When I know I can' stand, I wait for the next bus.

 

[livie1205]

I totally agree with this! I don't like all the posts complaining about having to stand on the bus and EXPECTING someone else to give up their seat.

I agree...i would never get on a crowded wdw bus and EXPECT someone to get up and give me their seat...they have been walking around a park all day also and are just as tired as I am.If you 100% do not want to get stuck standing drive your car or wait for another bus.This is NOT to be rude but all people from all countries are not raised the same way and it is not our buisness how someone is raised.

 

[sotoalf]

I commute to work by bus every day. I give up my seat to the elderly and those (men and women) carrying lots of packages. I DON'T give up my seat to a young lady my age, just because she's a woman.

By the way, I open doors for everyone -- women AND men. I don't see why we have to single out women for special treatment in 2009.

But manners are funny things. My pet peeve: those who rush into an elevator without waiting for its passengers to exit first. Or those people who take the elevator down one flight when there's a perfectly sturdy staircase in plain sight.

 

[blissventure]

I agree...i would never get on a crowded wdw bus and EXPECT someone to get up and give me their seat...they have been walking around a park all day also and are just as tired as I am.If you 100% do not want to get stuck standing drive your car or wait for another bus.This is NOT to be rude but all people from all countries are not raised the same way and it is not our buisness how someone is raised.

Just wanted to say that while I can't vouch for folks from *all* countries
I've ridden enough buses the world around to say this, from my experience:
It is normal for folks of all ages OUTSIDE of the US to not hesitate for a second to give an obviously pregnant woman, (or a mom with a baby or young child) a seat. It happened to me numerous times while I was expecting, and after when I had a little one.
It's just a way of thinking. This child's safety, or the pregnant woman's safety is important.
It's the same way with elderly men and women, as well as the disabled.
Not a matter of rights. Just care, concern, and safety.

And frankly, a 10 minute bus ride standing up isn't going to hurt me in the least. I'd rather know a child/pregnant woman/frail adult is safe.

 

[BreezysMom]

My DH always gives his seat up on the bus and monorail. One night we were coming back from DHS to the Poly and we sat down at the back of the bus when a Family, a dad who had the folded up stroller, a Mom was holding a child. We saw them come on so I put dd in my lap and DH stood up to open up 2 seats for them.

So the Dad proceeds to sit down and then leans the stroller against the second empty seat. He graciously takes the child from his wife so now she can stand without the child in her arms

She was glaring at him like she was going to kill him once they were out of the public eye. When we got off at the Poly she thanked DH and then apologized for her husband being so rude. Yes, she said it out loud

I would of loved to be a fly on the wall in their room!

 

[GraceLuvsWDW]

IMO pregnant women, parents holding children under the age of two, or any children not being held under the age of 6 should get a seat! Even if you are tired, even if you have waited longer, even if, even if...


It is too dangerous for those people to be standing on those buses, they should be given a seat if you are AT ALL able to do so.

Chivalry is not dead. BUT chivalry also involves keeping your judgement of others to yourself. You may be disappointed or feel someone is rude by sitting and not offering their seat, but don't let that cloud your day or your trip. Water off a duck's back!

I do not let others have control over my mood, or at least I try very hard not to. Everyone does have their own story, their own issues but the ones who don't and don't offer up their seat will live with that knowledge on their own. None of us are the designated ones "to teach them a lesson".

I had to sit next to a poor girl who was vomiting the whole ride. Everyone around us was gagging and moving away. Things happen, it could always be worse!