Chivalry is dead.

[Scrooge Jr]

Too many people tend to let all their issiuse out on the members here, and it's too bad.

I agree. I feel much better! I just got one more issue to get off my chest and I will be free! Just waiting for the "Scooter thread".

 

[1hero2princesses]

I seriously hope some of the people on this thread are not there when I am.

 

[stella27]

I'm the OP, and I didn't need a seat when I wasn't holding a baby. I don't mind standing. It was the lack of balance and stability when I was holding a 2 year old (who can't stand up on his own) that I found dangerous, and once we were wedged into the middle of a row of seats by passengers coming from the front and the back, it was VERY hard to get out.

And with all the decals on the windows, it is very hard to tell if the bus is crowded when you get on.

But whatever the situation, I would always give up my seat for anyone who looked like they needed it more than I did. And if someone pointed out to me that he or she had a "hidden" disability, I would happily give up my seat for them.

I just didn't realize how few others felt the same way. Like I said, I was surprised. I offered no stink-eye, I didn't ask because I assumed everyone had their own reason for wanting to sit - I was just surprised, and to me, it is an unattractive turn that society is taking.

Judge me all you want because I would like to see compassion and nice manners (even if not directed my way). I would far rather err on the side of accommodating other people when I can, and when my baby needs something (a safe seat), I would hope that some able-bodied person could offer the same.

Sit and be happy or stand and make someone else happy - it's your decision - I am merely noting my surprise at the status quo.

 

[TCPluto]

Actually, the OP did say that she wanted a seat because she was a woman:

Originally Posted by stella27
I recently went to WDW with my 3 children (8,6 and 2) and a friend. My friend and I were appalled by the number of men and boys who never offered to give up a bus seat for women or small children. In fact, more women offered their seats than men did.

No she didn't, unless there's more to the story.

She was making an observation about what she saw, never mentioning whether she was standing or sitting.

 

[stella27]

No she didn't, unless there's more to the story.

She was making an observation about what she saw, never mentioning whether she was standing or sitting.

Thank you. It was an observation. The only time I felt that I *needed* a seat was on one trip where I was holding a baby. Even then, I just observed the situation - didn't ask, didn't fuss, didn't demand, didn't presume. No one had to give me his or her seat. It just really piqued my interest as to the situation.

 

[livndisney]

Actually from the OPs original post:

I recently went to WDW with my 3 children (8,6 and 2) and a friend. My friend and I were appalled by the number of men and boys who never offered to give up a bus seat for women or small children. In fact, more women offered their seats than men did. On so many occasions I saw (and was one) moms holding babies being forced to stand on a rocking, braking, turning bus because the seats were all taken - and many of the seated were men and older teen-aged boys.
It strengthened my resolve to teach my boys (and my girl, too!) good manners and how to be helpful in any situation.

 

[TCPluto]

To all those who say that men should give up their seats for women, children, are they wrong because they happen to get on the bus first and you did not? I mean shouldn't all the guests be treated the same when it comes to the seats on the buses and just because others got seats first does not mean those people are wrong for not giving them up or even thinking about doing that. Maybe those guests are also tired after a long day in the parks and they have just as much of a right to those seats as the women and children.

I think we've found one of the young men who will not be giving up his seat to women and children......

How do you feel about the elderly or infirm??

Could they just park theie car in the Contemporary resort lot and make the short walk to the Magic Kingdom?

 

[TCPluto]

Wow, I'm actually very glad that I came upon this thread and read through it. It reminds me to personally be caring, decent and generous to all humans, regardless of gender. I am shocked and amazed by how very self-centered and anti-social some of these comments seem. Personally, I would give up my seat to a 30 year old man who looked overly tired if I wasn't. And I would absolutely, unequivocally give up my seat to a pregnant woman, child, parent with sleeping/small child, elderly person, disabled person or anyone else who looked like they really needed it. It's not about them expecting it...it makes no matter to me if they expect it or not. I can only be responsible for my behavior. Why can't we just all try to be more generous with eachother? Even if I haven't been in the past, after reading this thread, I know I will make every effort to be generous of spirit on my upcoming trip. I do believe that you get what you give!

Great post.

 

[~Kik-Kik~]

Isn't that what the Community Board is for?

...no. A community board is a place for individuals to express their beliefs and opinions. NOT to start flame wars because of differing opinions. Would some of you seriously say these things to people's face? Probably not. If you wouldn't say it to someone in person, you don't say it online. It's ironic that most people are fighting about courtesy in real life, yet they can't be courteous in text.

PS - I was one of the people who felt the need to vent on the DIS, by starting a thread about changing the disablity system for the busses. It went over far worse than this and I learned that is is NOT the place to fight people. I was actually banned. I also got a warning for telling someone she was stressed. I seriously laugh at that last one still.

 

[fantayzya]

Kids fall asleep at random times when they are young they are not always predictable. I'm not talking about my kid falling asleep when I'm running around the parks at 10-11 at night I'm talking about them falling asleep at 3 o'clock, 6 o'clock without any prior notice that they were tired. So no I can't just predict when one of my youngest 3 will feel a need for a nap. So yes I see logic and it's not logical to expect to predict every time when your kids are going to fall asleep and get back to your hotel before it happens. Well unless your a mind reader.

yep, totally agree that this can happen. It did to me a few times on 2 separate trips when my youngest was 3 and 4. When he konked out unexpectedly in his stroller (If I read your post right and your youngest is 3 I'm going to assume you had a stroller right?) that was time for me to either enjoy a stroll around the park checking out the sites or grab a tasty treat (Dole Whip comes to mind) and find a shady bench and people watch while he snoozed for a bit in his stroller which was obviously comfy enough for him to fall asleep in in the first place or he wouldn't have. Plus it was quite enjoyable compared to sitting in the hotel room while he snoozed. I chose these options rather than risk his (and my own) safety transporting us both and his stroller on the bus, potentially affecting anyone else's vacation adversely as I attempted to juggle my sleeping boy and his stroller and possibly knocked someone's knees or accidently stepped on a toe in a crowded bus aisle, and not once did I ever EXPECT anyone else to adjust to accommodate me and my choices, but when some kind stranger did offer to help me out, and they did offer from time to time, believe me I appreciated their kindness and told them so.

Of course that was unexpected dozing off prior to when I planned to take him back to the hotel for a snooze anyway. I adjusted to accommodate that and avoid inconveniencing any other vacationers.

IMO there is no excuse for having a wee child out when the park closes at 10, and not expect that they'll be over stimulated and over tired and crabby or fall asleep on a bus. To tell me that this was unexpected to you is insulting my intelligence. Even for children that are night owls, that's ridiculous IMO. If you're tired, they're probably way past exhausted and you will pay for that either with a comatose child you have to carry, a hyper over active child or one who is fussy and upset. Not all, but chances are good. If you were sick for the session on common sense parenting 101, it's not MY responsibility to adjust MY vacation in any way to accommodate you.

If I choose to be nice, fine. It will be for the sake of your poor child, not for your sake, sorry. If I choose not to bail you out of a situation you put yourself and your child in, it doesn't make me rude or uncaring, or anything other than worn out and ready to call it a day myself.

 

[disneynewbee]

This is the most insane, though predictable, response to the issue. It's suggested every time this topic is broached.

Waiting for 20-30 minutes for another bus, while standing, instead of getting on the bus with no seats is a ridiculous solution.

And for those that say they do it, I call bull poop.

Men and boys that don't offer their seats to woman and the infirm are rude.

While I think men and woman who are able bodied should offer their seats to the elderly, the infirm, and women or men holding children I also think it is wise for those with small children who will need to be held not get on without an open seat. I have waited on another bus many of times and it has never taken more than 10 minutes. The one bus driver was pretty nasty about me waiting and gave me the whole "the next bus isn't going to be here for a half hour" (it came less than 10 minutes later) and I said that was fine with me. There was more to the exchange but I won't get into that. Even if it would have been a half hour I would have waited because I would rather wait in a line for a bus with my sleeping baby in her stroller than to hold a sleeping baby standing on a bus while also helping my other kids hold on. I wouldn't expect someone to give me a seat but some parents don't realize the bus is full till they are already on and people have piled in behind them. In that case I think the decent thing to do is give up a seat. So I agree with your thoughts for the most part but just want to say that while it is not ideal it is not poop, people do wait.

 

[fantayzya]

The truth is I probably would give up my seat to nearly anyone who apparently needs it, but it grinds my gears to read that it's expected in situations that people brought on themselves.

Need is one thing, need because you've created a bad situation is not my responsibility.

 

[LoraJ]

The truth is I probably would give up my seat to nearly anyone who apparently needs it, but it grinds my gears to read that it's expected in situations that people brought on themselves.

Need is one thing, need because you've created a bad situation is not my responsibility.

 

[disneynewbee]

Ya what a waste of time. Tell me where in my post I said I keep my kids out till 10-11 at night. Maybe you should reread my post. I do have more than one child you know so I can't work everything around just one of them. If my 3yo and 6yo need a nap I have to head back to the hotel even if the 1yo is already asleep. I have a double stroller so I can't accommodate 3 sleeping children. But as I stated in my previous posts I don't expect people to get up for me even with sleeping children in my arms I have and will continue to wait for the next bus. I have posted in the past about having problems in the past with bus drivers when waiting for the next bus if you want to go look it up. So I'm not one that thinks people owe me a seat. But as a decent human being I would give up mine to someone who needs it. You can do whatever you feel comfortable with your the one who has to live with yourself.

yep, totally agree that this can happen. It did to me a few times on 2 separate trips when my youngest was 3 and 4. When he konked out unexpectedly in his stroller (If I read your post right and your youngest is 3 I'm going to assume you had a stroller right?) that was time for me to either enjoy a stroll around the park checking out the sites or grab a tasty treat (Dole Whip comes to mind) and find a shady bench and people watch while he snoozed for a bit in his stroller which was obviously comfy enough for him to fall asleep in in the first place or he wouldn't have. Plus it was quite enjoyable compared to sitting in the hotel room while he snoozed. I chose these options rather than risk his (and my own) safety transporting us both and his stroller on the bus, potentially affecting anyone else's vacation adversely as I attempted to juggle my sleeping boy and his stroller and possibly knocked someone's knees or accidently stepped on a toe in a crowded bus aisle, and not once did I ever EXPECT anyone else to adjust to accommodate me and my choices, but when some kind stranger did offer to help me out, and they did offer from time to time, believe me I appreciated their kindness and told them so.

Of course that was unexpected dozing off prior to when I planned to take him back to the hotel for a snooze anyway. I adjusted to accommodate that and avoid inconveniencing any other vacationers.

IMO there is no excuse for having a wee child out when the park closes at 10, and not expect that they'll be over stimulated and over tired and crabby or fall asleep on a bus. To tell me that this was unexpected to you is insulting my intelligence. Even for children that are night owls, that's ridiculous IMO. If you're tired, they're probably way past exhausted and you will pay for that either with a comatose child you have to carry, a hyper over active child or one who is fussy and upset. Not all, but chances are good. If you were sick for the session on common sense parenting 101, it's not MY responsibility to adjust MY vacation in any way to accommodate you.

If I choose to be nice, fine. It will be for the sake of your poor child, not for your sake, sorry. If I choose not to bail you out of a situation you put yourself and your child in, it doesn't make me rude or uncaring, or anything other than worn out and ready to call it a day myself.

 

[Scurvy]

While I think men and woman who are able bodied should offer their seats to the elderly, the infirm, and women or men holding children I also think it is wise for those with small children who will need to be held not get on without an open seat. I have waited on another bus many of times and it has never taken more than 10 minutes. The one bus driver was pretty nasty about me waiting and gave me the whole "the next bus isn't going to be here for a half hour" (it came less than 10 minutes later) and I said that was fine with me. There was more to the exchange but I won't get into that. Even if it would have been a half hour I would have waited because I would rather wait in a line for a bus with my sleeping baby in her stroller than to hold a sleeping baby standing on a bus while also helping my other kids hold on. I wouldn't expect someone to give me a seat but some parents don't realize the bus is full till they are already on and people have piled in behind them. In that case I think the decent thing to do is give up a seat. So I agree with your thoughts for the most part but just want to say that while it is not ideal it is not poop, people do wait.

I've done the same thing. There's a big difference between standing on level ground (or leaning on the railings in the line) and trying to hold on while on a moving bus, and there are times when my wrists will not let me hold on to those hand rails. And so I wait until I'm sure of having a seat. If others don't think far enough ahead to do that, or if they are willing risk having to juggle a child while standing, that's their business. They should not assume that others will be willing or able to give up their seats.

The truth is I probably would give up my seat to nearly anyone who apparently needs it, but it grinds my gears to read that it's expected in situations that people brought on themselves.

Need is one thing, need because you've created a bad situation is not my responsibility.

Exactly.

 

[JUJU814]

We had a driver once that made the following annoucement:
"Shopping bags and purses on your lap please that way we can fit more butts in the seats!"

LOL

I only get on a bus if it has empty seats because I don't assume anyone is going to give me a seat. That solves that problem. There are many good reasons someone may not give up their seat.

If I was standing on a packed bus, and someone in front of me had their bags on an empty seat, I would say "excuse me, is this seat taken?" and ask the person to move their bags. That's insane and downright RUDE to knowingly take up a seat with bags when there are people standing. I would never ask a person to stand, obviously..but bags? Uh, sorry...MOVE EM.

When we are on a bus that is getting packed and we already have seats, I will have my little one sit on my lap to give another seat.

It's just common courtesy.

No one "has" to do anything. What a great selfish society we live in. "my rights" etc. This just has to do with manners, courtesy and kindness.

 

[sammy_bee]

My family (DH, DD age 6, and myself) always give up our seats as needed...to anyone - female, male, young, old, pregnant, etc...who we can offer them to, especially if they look like they need it. That is our choice, and we will continue to do so.

The ONLY thing that irritates me is when parents don't pull smaller children onto their laps to open up a seat. On my last trip, on a bus after Wishes, there were six seats with little kids (i'm talking 2 or 3 years old, itty bitty ones) on a bus with over 20 standing people. I am NOT saying they don't deserve a seat. I just think that when the bus is that crowded, my opinion is that they could easily go on a lap to let another guest sit down who may need to.

My DD is very tall for her age and even now, at age 6, will sit on one of our laps if we choose to stay in our seats at all.

 

[JUJU814]

You guys are right. Us men should also give up our spots to women while in line for rides. Also if we are seated at the quick service tables, we should get up if a woman is looking for a seat as well. We can just eat standing up because we're men.

BTW, what's the next thread that's going to pop up? Black people should move to the back of the bus so a white person can sit up front?

Oh PLEASE! You cannot seriously be comparing the two. For real???

 

[trainingupmy4princes]

But ... didn't all those women and moms with kids manage to drag themeselves around the themepark all day too? Shouldn't they be able to stand for a few more minutes on the bus without a problem too?

I think there is a Huge difference between a 5 YO walking around a park and trying to balance on a moving bus while standing.

 

[trainingupmy4princes]

I have to agree that there is no reason to give up your seat just because there is a woman without a seat (pregnant, holding sleeping baby, elderly, infirm, sure, but just because they are a woman, no way). Sorry, but to me that seems too much like "oh, yes, we must let the little lady have a seat".

Let me add, before everyone jumps all over me for being a chauvinistic male, that I am a woman who is over 50 (and fast approaching 60 ).

And while I do think that chivalry is dead (or at least on life support), people should be aware of the attitude and lack of response that they may be giving. Let someone in front of you in traffic and don't even get so much as a wave in thanks. Hold the door for someone and get no comment. Give someone your seat and not even get a nod. Yes, they have all happened to me recently.

I do agree as a capable woman I don't expect a seat given up for me but for my toddler yes.
I teach all 4 of my boys to hold doors for those older than them (male or female) respect their elders, and even my autistic 10 YO son has given up his seat for those who need it more So parents we can bring it back from life support

There was one time when my sister and I were on a bus and a gentleman and his son offered their seats for me and my sis. Normally, I would politely decline but I was hit with a migraine and was starting to worsen to the point of dizziness. So there are still gentlemen out there.