Children's allowance - do you pay for chores?

[VickiVM]

My husband and I disagree and how to stipulate the doling of allowance to our kids. He says to make a list of what needs to be done around the house and attach a value to each item so they essentially earn by accomplishing chores.

I say that chores need to be done regardless and that until certain chores are accomplished, then no money is given.

He says it's the same thing. I disagree. I say that chores are not negotiable and only if they are all completed then will they get paid. His method, to me, implies that the kids can pick and choose which chores they want to do and just settle for whatever value in money each chore represents.

My kids are chomping at the bit to start earning money - they like to buy nick nacks at the book fair or the school store - my son who is 12 likes to buy his own CD's or packs of gum. Basically - they just want to be able to control some of their own purchase decisions without having to rely on mom and dad. I respect that. But I just don't want them to feel as though chores are done by choice.

BTW - good grades don't even play into allowance. However, poor choices that result in a marked dip in grades does result in various priveleges being denied.

How do you handle the allowance issue.

 

[va32h]

My older two kids (10 and 6) have a certain number of chores that are non-negotiable, and are not paid. Making their beds, keeping their rooms clean, putting away their clean clothes, setting the table, vacuuming, feeding the dog.

But I will pay them for bigger chores. Cleaning out the van, givng the dog a bath, raking leaves or other yard work, cleaning out closets or the garage, and in the case of my oldest "babysitting" her little sister - basically playing with her while I get something done.

I don't have a set amount for each chore - I pay them based on the amount and the quality of their work.

I am pretty lucky in that my kids actually like doing some chores - they fight over who gets to vacuum, and my son loves anything that allows him to spray liquid out of a bottle.

 

[MAKmom]

Why don't you meet in the middle. Put a value on a set of chores for each child that must be done each week/day. Then offer extra money for addtional things that need to be done but are optional on a as need basis. If they commet to an addtional chore they can not back out later...your counting on it.

Another way to handle must be done chores is the "I give you money when you need it for movies/skating you do your chores."

 

[VickiVM]

My frustration is that they keep asking for their 'list'. I just want them to pick up after themselves and not moan and gripe when I ask them to unload the diswasher, or clean the cat's room.

I don't want them to say 'but mom, I did my part of the list', when I've requested something not on that list. My kids can be so tricky.

Ugghh. I think I just hate the list part.

 

[aprilgail2]

My daughter gets an allowance...not tied to chores.....her only chore is that she has to make her bed..she helps me mop the floor, dust etc but that is not tied to an allowance..her allowance lets her learn to manage money...she gets 6.00 a week..one dollar for every year old she is....today she took me out for my birthday, she took me to the museum of natural history and spent 60.00 of her own money on tickets and a cab...she had been saving it up for months. She banks most of her allowance though, she is usually pretty tight with her cash when it comes to anything other than my gifts which I think is really sweet of her!

 

[Servants of Evan]

With our little guy in preschool, we've used a point system for his allowance. Yes, he's been earning an allowance for almost a year now. We have a daily checklist of all the make your bed, brush your teeth, clothes down the chute, set the table sort of stuff. In addition, he helps take out the recycling while I take out the trash. He picks up sticks in the yard while I mow the lawn, etc. We also have points for behavior at school. No name on the board (good behavior, listening ears "on", etc) is rewarded with a certain number of points. On Sunday night, the points for the week are totalled and if he meets or surpasses the points required - he earns a Disney Dollar which is put into his vacation fund to be spent on his trip. If he doesn't meet the point total, he gets nothing. "You either do the job or you don't -- there's no just squeeking by."

 

[daisyduck123]

No allowance here for DD11 & DS8.
They just had better do what we tell them

They get enough spending money from their grandparents....they are the only grandchildren on my side of the family & DH's so they always seem to be getting some money from Grandmas & Grandpas.

 

[va32h]

Ugghh. I think I just hate the list part.

Then get rid of the list. Or tell them "the list is in mommy's head, and it's as long as I say it is!"

When I was growing up, my siblings and I often fought over who had to do what - "that's so-and-so' job", etc. So I try not to give the kids the same job every time. I'll say "your job today is..." so they don't get the mindset that they only have to do certain things.

 

[twinklebug]

My kids are 12 and 8. I do not hand out allowances as I don't want them growing up thinking money will come their way without having to work for it as I pretty much did.

Instead, I have a points system where each chore has a point value allocated to it. Cleaning the litter box = 200 points, Each bag of trash (the FULL job) = 100 points, etc. The points are kept up on a chalk board and may be accrued or traded in for cash -or- it comes in handy when we are at the mall and one child has forgotten their $ buts "needs" something "badly": they pull out their "Hey! I have XXX points at home! Can I use them?"

for us 100 points = $1
The nastier or longer a chore is, the more point are rewarded.

There are still chores that they are expected to do without reward (cleaning their room, making the bed, putting away laundry etc) Those are non-negotiable, but if they don't do them they know I WON'T be happy and that's enough.

The great part is my DD (the 12yo) no longer bickers about having to clean the litter box (she recently bought herself a Bouney & bourke backpack purse using points
My DS has fallen in love with vacumes and steam cleaners... well... I'm not so sure it's a healthy thing, but I love it!

 

[Stacey2grls]

At this point my kids don't receive an allowance. They are both almost 6 and 8, we buy them what they need, and at this point they don't ask for much. So i'm enjoying this until the poop hits the fan, and they want all my money!

 

[azgal81]

Growing up my brother and I got an allowance of $2.50 every other week for dusting, vacumming, cleaning up after the cat, taking care of the dog, taking out the trash, doing the dishes, picking up after ourselves.

Extra duties would get us extra money. For example, my mom would pay me a buck to do the a load of laundry.

I'm kinda iffy on the whole paying your kids to do chores myself. Now I realize why my parents didn't pay us that much money to do chores. I mean why can't kids just do chores without the money involved, I mean no matter there age they are living in your house they should be required to do chores like everyone else.

 

[poohandwendy]

Actually, the list is a good thing because it serves a visual reminder. And it also gives them a sense of completion when they can check off an item finished. It shows you and them how consistent they are and which items they tend to slack on.

JMO

 

[VickiVM]

Then get rid of the list. Or tell them "the list is in mommy's head, and it's as long as I say it is!"

When I was growing up, my siblings and I often fought over who had to do what - "that's so-and-so' job", etc. So I try not to give the kids the same job every time. I'll say "your job today is..." so they don't get the mindset that they only have to do certain things.

Exactly! We already have that going on now with who's turn it is to clean the litter box. I don't want to commit to this list they want me to come up with because I want the flexibility to change according to whatever our week throws at us.

So...I think maybe I will come up with a no compromise list just so that they are clear on basic expectations - like taking care of the cat, folding and putting your own laudry away, taking out the trash, etc. They are old enough to self-manage. But I will add extra things as examples of what other chores might be expected of them - cleaning the game room (even if they personally didn't make all the mess), folding towels, emptying the dishwasher, vacuuming the floors, etc. And NO ATTITUDE. I'm still gonna push for all or nothing. When my husband mops the kitchen floor and washes the bed linens or sorts and does all the laundry, then he can manage the childrens chores and allowance. But that'll never happen.

 

[Pin Wizard]

DS has his things he's responsible for getting done. He does NOT get an allowance for them. If he does something that I normally do, that's when it kicks in.

 

[poohandwendy]

I wanted to add, kudos to you for requiring your children to be a part of the household work. I know so many people, with almost adult children, who have NEVER required their kids to do anything other than put their own clothes in a hamper. It is amazing! I just scratch my head because I wonder how these parents think the kids are going to know how to actually take care of their own things/homes. It's part of the tools we give them for adulthood. It's also part of living as a family. JMHO

 

[twinklebug]

... And NO ATTITUDE.

but you just took away your DD's reason for living (at least when she hits the teen years!)

You are the meanest mom in the world!

 

[VickiVM]

I wanted to add, kudos to you for requiring your children to be a part of the household work. I know so many people, with almost adult children, who have NEVER required their kids to do anything other than put their own clothes in a hamper. It is amazing! I just scratch my head because I wonder how these parents think the kids are going to know how to actually take care of their own things/homes. It's part of the tools we give them for adulthood. It's also part of living as a family. JMHO

Thanks - Me and my girlfriends talk about what responsibilities our children have. One of my friends has a hard time letting her children put their own laundry away because she feels it should be put away neatly. I wish mine were neatniks also, but I got over that real quick. My solution is just to not look in their drawers! As long as its in it's place (and not thrown on the floor) then I could care less if their t-shirts are wrinkled. Well, I care a little bit, but soon enough so will they and they will be more attentive.

We're a family of 5 and it's just too much work involved running our house without the children helping. I'm not their maid. Besides that - I'm just too dang tired!

 

[MouseWorshipin]

Nobody does it like me. I pay the kids weekly. Has nothing to do with chores - those they have to do. Nobody pays me to do the laundry, etc.

The allowance is based on grades received. If they aren't doing well in school, they get less money. I've heard that this isn't fair, but that's the rule. If they want more money, they can get it. It is in their hands.

I pay them substantial sums, but they have to use it to buy clothes, pay for school supplies, take school trips, video games, napster cards, Christmas gifts, whatever. They pay for their lives, except housing & utilities.

They are free to spend the money as they please but are never bailed out by us. One kid missed his school trip to Washington D.C. because he failed to handle his money correctly. Now he saves like crazy.

 

[VickiVM]

but you just took away your DD's reason for living (at least when she hits the teen years!)

You are the meanest mom in the world!

My motto is Hate Me Now, Love Me Later! I have no problem being the meanest mom in the world. I hope I raise two future mean moms!!

 

[VickiVM]

Nobody does it like me. I pay the kids weekly. Has nothing to do with chores - those they have to do. Nobody pays me to do the laundry, etc.

The allowance is based on grades received. If they aren't doing well in school, they get less money. I've heard that this isn't fair, but that's the rule. If they want more money, they can get it. It is in their hands.

I pay them substantial sums, but they have to use it to buy clothes, pay for school supplies, take school trips, video games, napster cards, Christmas gifts, whatever. They pay for their lives, except housing & utilities.

They are free to spend the money as they please but are never bailed out by us. One kid missed his school trip to Washington D.C. because he failed to handle his money correctly. Now he saves like crazy.

I'm curious - how old are your children? And if you don't mind me asking - how much is "substantial"?

I'm not sure I'm ready to put my kids on the Moreno "payroll" and leave them out on their own to manage all their financial needs - they just don't have the experience. I do know that paying for grades wouldn't be fair in my house. My son is a straight A student without trying very hard, but often makes poor time management choices. My middle daughter tries very hard
in school just to maintain B's. My youngest is also straight A student but unlike my son - is extremely attentive to good time management and tries to always be prepared. I don't think there is a fair way to reward them based on grades.