Children Moving Out?

disneychrista

DIS Veteran
Joined
Dec 26, 2002
At what age did you children move out on their own? Did they move into shared housing or in their own apartment.? Did you help with any expenses or where they self sufficient?
 

mjkacmom

DIS Veteran
Joined
Feb 20, 2006
Dd23 is Home after almost 3 years of away at college, she will be away agin soon. I can’t imagine supporting them financially as adults. Dd21 pays rent year round at his college frat house, but he’s living home this summer interning in Manhattan this summer.

ETA, there aren’t any 1 bedroom apartments for under $1000 a month here.
 
  • RedAngie

    80's New Wave Girl
    Joined
    Sep 10, 2015
    Older DD moved out at age 24, two years after graduating college. She got an apartment by herself, no roommates. She paid for almost everything but I'm sure I chipped in for a few things. She had since purchased a townhouse.

    Younger DD graduated college last year and lives in her father's condo. Silicon Valley. Even though she got a decent paying job, she can't afford an apartment on her own there yet with the crazy sky high rents.
     

    tarheelmjfan

    Proud Redhead
    Joined
    May 10, 2001
    DS has lived with us on & off, while going to college. He's currently living with us, while going to grad school. He works full time & has a good job that's paying for his grad school. He pays for his car, car insurance, health insurance & any expenses like entertainment, travel, etc. We pay for his cell phone on a family plan. He's had to pay for any phone, after the free one we got with the plan. We don't charge him rent, because we would have to pay all home expenses whether he lived here or not. We'd rather he save his money to use as a downpayment, when he's ready to buy a home.

    To better answer your question, we don't have an age that he has to move out. We'd rather he live here & save money, until he's ready to move out & buy a home. We're good with him waiting to move out, when he's ready to start his own family.
     
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    barkley

    DIS Veteran<br><font color=orange>If I ever have a
    Joined
    Apr 6, 2004
    dd 25 moved out at 20 (beginning of sophomore college year) into a townhouse with what seemed like a million roommates. that lasted about 2 years at which point she moved into her own 1 b/r apartment. she paid/pays her own way on all of it (free room/board was available at home while attending college she opted to move out so it was on her dime though she does benefit from being on the family cell plan and our auto insurance but she's still paying for those discounted rates). ds 22 is special needs and the reality is he will always need supports in place for living so for the time being it's better for all concerned if he remains at home.
     
  • OKW8297

    Mouseketeer
    Joined
    Apr 13, 2017
    23 year old ds moved out in February. Renting a house with 2 other guys. Lived with us through college. Has been on our car insurance, paying his share, but is buying a newer car and wants his own policy. Has done lots of research. Planning on starting on MBA part time in January. Younger DS returning to college soon for second year. Lives at school about 40 minutes away. Proud of both for being very mature and responsible and goal focused in their own way.
     

    QueenIsabella

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Jan 17, 2016
    Officially, DD24 moved out when she graduated college. In truth, though, she was always very independent, and was living in apartments the last 2 years of college. Also, the summer after her sophomore year, we moved 800 miles away. At that point, she wasn't financially independent, but was pretty much on her own to handle life.

    She's always shared housing (lives near Boston--very expensive!). We still cover her health insurance and her phone. She's graduated and has a full-time teaching job, and is responsible for everything else, including car and insurance. We occasionally treat her to vacations--she came to Universal with us this spring--but also pays for herself. She went to Alaska and Mexico this summer on her own dime. Those were much more budget trips, but she still managed to have a blast.

    OTOH, DS22 has multiple issues (Asperger's, anxiety, depression, learning disabilities...). He's still in school. Even when he eventually moves out, he's likely to need to be near family for the foreseeable future.
     
  • mco65

    get busy living, or get busy dying!
    Joined
    May 2, 2012
    My oldest daughter was 18 when she moved out but she got married and moved in with her husbands mom and dad.. yikes. They lived with her in laws for another 5 years before moving out on their own around 24...

    My oldest son is 19, still at home. I don't see him moving out anytime soon but nothing would surprise me. I do know that his mom will start pushing him out in a few years, she is already talking about charging him rent.

    To be honest, i hated it when my oldest daughter moved out. I specifically remember her asking me if she and her new husband could live with us and i said no. We still had young kiddos in the house and i just didn't feel comfortable with him living with us. If we did't have young kids at the time, i would have said yes... I am in no hurry for my oldest son (19) to move out. Ask me again in 10 years.. ;)
     

    jo-jo

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Feb 28, 2011
    Both kids were about 25. The both were getting married. I'm sure we helped with some get through the first week costs, like here are a few pots , pans and dishes and $200 of groceries . Maybe a piece or two of Ikea type furniture. But not ongoing bill paying. That was about 15 years ago.

    This doesn't mean we never pay anything at their house. We are visiting and run out for groceries, we pay. Picking up pizza for dinner, we pay. But paying for a monthly bill like electric....no.
     

    MamaLema

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    May 17, 2004
    My oldest DS22 would love to move out but rent here starts at $1500 for a tiny 1 bedroom apartment rental.
    I feel bad for the young people in our city. Even the local news said owning a house here is out of reach for most young people.
     

    SC Minnie

    <font color=purple>Are we there yet???<br><font co
    Joined
    May 18, 2001
    DD25 didn't come back home after college. She actually moved 500 miles away. She lived with a roommate for a while, then her own apartment which was expensive, and not lives with a roommate again. We pay for her car insurance but that's about it as far as monthly bills. We will buy her stuff every and ship it to her every now and then. Occasionally she will ask for a 'loan' if something big has come up unexpectedly but she does pay us back.
     

    china mom

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Feb 15, 2010
    Mine are still 14 & 16 bu I have been telling them for the past ten years that for their 18th birthday they are getting luggage and moving boxes :D . Then, my younger one learned math and informed me that she will still be in high school after 18 so I can't kick her out (damn school system).

    But in all seriousness, they can live with me rent free as long as they are in school. If they are not in college, they will pay rent. My goal their whole life has been to set the expectation that once you become an adult, you start living like an adult. Of course, I will be their safety net if they need it but I should not be their plan A.

    I moved out and found my own shared housing when I left college. Bought my first house at age 22 and have used that early start to amass enough wealth to live comfortably - like my parents did.

    OTOH, my parents never pushed my brothers and I had to formally evict one brother from my mother's house when he was 51. The two that didn't die of a drug overdose, live like paupers and only have what has been given to them by parents.

    I will miss them when they move out but I will also be celebrating.
     

    HeatherC

    <font color=blue>Alas...these people I live with t
    Joined
    May 23, 2003
    My oldest dad (22) just graduated college and is starting a full time teaching position next month. She is planning to live at home for a year and save her entire salary. After that she is hoping to buy a condo or small house.

    My middle kid is turning 21 next month and he has moved into an apartment with my nephew. My brother owns the house and is giving them a huge discount on rent. But they are paying all the utilities and food. We are helping with car insurance and health insurance and mom surprising them with care packages every so often. They are learning to work hard and budget which is what they both need to do.

    My youngest will be heading off to college in a few weeks. Luckily, it is only an hour from here so we will still get to see her pretty often.

    So we are in the empty nest transition phase and now trying to figure out what we want to do. Move closer to the beach where we have family and want to be, or start upgrading our current home. Beach is just a little too far for commuting right now for dh. So we will see.

    My kids all know they will always a have a home if they need it. And if they want to move back for a period of time to save for a house or something for a while we are ok with that. If they were slackers that would be a different story.
     

    RUDisney

    Mom to Ivan & Kristina
    Joined
    Apr 8, 2002
    DD (23) moved into her first apartment in her senior year. I helped her buy end tables, bar stools, a coffee table, food, etc., etc., when she moved in. When my DH saw the credit card bill in September/October, he asked what in the world I spent so much money on.

    I told him that it was the month of Kristina and an anomaly in the big picture.

    She moved back for the summer, after graduation. I couldn't wait for her to leave again. My countertops aren't sticky since she moved to her new apartment last week.

    Problem with this place is that it's furnished, so her sofa, chair, etc., are all being stored in my house. She's looking for a FT job to help her pay for this apartment and for her master's degree. I will continue to pay for her phone, car insurance and books. She's responsible for everything else. We will, of course, help her, if needed, but we don't expect to be needed by her.

    OTOH, my DS (24) lives with us. He just finished his treatments for leukemia and his life has been on hold for 3.5 years. He lives primarily in our basement and is starting back to school. He wants to move SO badly, but he can't afford it. When I asked him why he wanted to leave, he said he wanted his freedom. I laughed at him and told him that there is nothing that I stop him from doing while living here and that he doesn't have to pay rent, utilities, phone, etc. He has changed his tune. He needs to graduate or move to state college to complete his degree before him moving seems plausible, though, bad decisions are his to make, so if he decides to live like a pauper, he is welcome to do so.
     

    kimblebee

    now my thoughts will be worth 5 cents
    Joined
    May 28, 2009
    At what age did you children move out on their own? Did they move into shared housing or in their own apartment.? Did you help with any expenses or where they self sufficient?
    My daughter was barely 18 when she moved out and moved three provinces away. She lived with five other people. She paid all her own bills except her cell phone which we agreed to pay for one year..she’ll take it over in October.

    Sometimes she was a little short and had
    to borrow money for a few weeks. Sometimes she’d pay us back, sometimes we’d say don’t bother.

    ETA- she’s moved back home and is saving up to move out with her boyfriend. We don’t make her pay for anything except specific food she wants. She’s welcome to eat whatever we have in the pantry and fridge/freezer..if she wants something different she can pick it up herself. She’s barely here so that will be a tiny expense for her lol

    I hear you there. DD’s 28 & 26 are both still home. I am so ready for them to move out.
    Do your daughters contribute financially like for food or a bit of rent or anything. If not, that’s why they’re still there. Make it a little uncomfortable financially and that will get them out.
     

    Christine

    Would love to be able to sit on
    Joined
    Aug 31, 1999
    Both kids moved out at about age 23 and both moved into the city with roommate situations.
     

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