Children in opposite gender bathrooms

[Pookasaurus]

How many little girls are in the men's restrooms? How many preteen girls are in the mens rooms? I'm asking seriously - not being snarky.

Certainly there are times when dads are traveling with their 8, 9, and 10 year daughters. Do they bring the girls into the mens room with them? How do the girls react? How do the men react? If they don't do that, why are the girls somehow safer waiting outside for dad or going to the restroom by themselves than the boys of that age? Why is it that this only comes up with boys in womens rooms?

My DD is 2. My Dh has occasionally brought her into the mens room. I can't begin to imagine that he or she would feel comfortable doing that when she's 8.

It comes up more with boys than girls because of numbers if nothing else (ie societal norms and how we treat genders differently) - women are still the primary care givers for children. While yes, Dads travel alone and take their girls out alone, more often than not it is moms out with Children. Stay at home moms out number stay at home dads. Single moms out number single dads. Moms with primary custody out number Dads with primary custody. Additionally, boys out number girls in general regarding the world population. Furthermore, in this conversation, in almost 150 posts, they have mostly (if not entirely) been made by women.

I've actually asked a few male friends if they have encountered girls in the mens room and they have all said it happens more than you'd think and and they never really thought about it. My one friend I asked said it was only an issue for him when a dad let his daughter roam the facilities while the dad was in a stall and he was using the urinal and the little girl was quite fascinated by him and at that point it was less a modesty issue and more an issue that he didn't want a misunderstanding about her seeing his parts and ending up having it sorted out in the legal system later.
It's a different situation - womens rooms have stalls, parts are not exposed.

 

[Gracie09]

Every child deserves a safe, clean, and private stall when they need to use the bathroom facilities if they are physically able to use the stall on their own.

Whether the boy is in the stall with a parent or his own stall, apparently the pre-teen girls will be mortified anyway since he is in the restroom facility, so there is no need to change the behavior that will now inconvenience the girls and the boy (and his mother) by making him share a stall with his adult female supervision (parent, grandparent, whomever).

See the forest thru the trees people - 142 kids were shot yesterday...safety is a concern here to stay.

they were shot at school, a place children go to the bathroom by themselves. I think we can all think of things going on in the world today that put this in perspective. How about my former foster daughter whose life was destroyed because of the harm done to her in a bathroom. There are a million of kids just like her out there.

So the girls should just get use to the boys being in their space is what you are saying. They should bend to the will of the boys. Hmm, not quite what I teach my children. What are we teaching our children, male and female. That all men are to be feared? Because that is essentially what you are telling them, boys will grow up to be molesters and can't be trusted.

 

[Gracie09]

How many little girls are in the men's restrooms? How many preteen girls are in the mens rooms? I'm asking seriously - not being snarky.

Certainly there are times when dads are traveling with their 8, 9, and 10 year daughters. Do they bring the girls into the mens room with them? How do the girls react? How do the men react? If they don't do that, why are the girls somehow safer waiting outside for dad or going to the restroom by themselves than the boys of that age? Why is it that this only comes up with boys in womens rooms?

My DD is 2. My Dh has occasionally brought her into the mens room. I can't begin to imagine that he or she would feel comfortable doing that when she's 8.

My girls are five and they go to the ladies room. Their father waits right outside the door for them and has been known to yell in and ask them to hurry up. They have managed to get through unharmed.

 

[Gracie09]

It comes up more with boys than girls because of numbers if nothing else (ie societal norms and how we treat genders differently) - women are still the primary care givers for children. While yes, Dads travel alone and take their girls out alone, more often than not it is moms out with Children. Stay at home moms out number stay at home dads. Single moms out number single dads. Moms with primary custody out number Dads with primary custody. Additionally, boys out number girls in general regarding the world population. Furthermore, in this conversation, in almost 150 posts, they have mostly (if not entirely) been made by women.

I've actually asked a few male friends if they have encountered girls in the mens room and they have all said it happens more than you'd think and and they never really thought about it. My one friend I asked said it was only an issue for him when a dad let his daughter roam the facilities while the dad was in a stall and he was using the urinal and the little girl was quite fascinated by him and at that point it was less a modesty issue and more an issue that he didn't want a misunderstanding about her seeing his parts and ending up having it sorted out in the legal system later.
It's a different situation - womens rooms have stalls, parts are not exposed.

Just because its the norm doesn't make it right. Slavery was once a norm. Jim Crow. Women not having access to certain jobs. The disabled not able to move around the city due to obstacles or worse institutionalized. All were the norm at one time or the other, doesn 't mean its right.

 

[Pookasaurus]

Just because its the norm doesn't make it right. Slavery was once a norm. Jim Crow. Women not having access to certain jobs. The disabled not able to move around the city due to obstacles or worse institutionalized. All were the norm at one time or the other, doesn 't mean its right.

Wow - did you really just compare a mother using the restroom with her young CHILD, to slavery and institutionalization of the disabled? Really??!? Never mind if you comprehended what I wrote is was the social norms of how we view genders I was referring to not how we use the bathroom.... but anyway. Wow.

But then again you also referred to a Mother, a FEMALE, making a decision for a young male child as domination of females by males so I guess one shouldn't be surprised.

Positively astounding.

I hate to tell you this but the direction of progress is not headed toward further segregation of the male and female genders.

 

[aaarcher86]

Le sigh - to assume makes an... well then you know how that goes.

ASD, no idea what that meant before you mentioned it. It surely never came up during my education in which I graduated with honors and distinction with a major in, oh what was it - ah yes, psychology. And surely it didn't come up in the multiple IEP meetings I attend nor was it ever mentioned during the FBA I just finished filling out a BASC-2 for or the SPM I am turning in tomorrow. By now, assuming you actually know what those acronyms stand for - you are realizing you made a very, very, false assumption. Two actually. The first about where I was coming from in my stance on this thread which wasn't personal, and the 2nd a very personal assumption about myself, and my kids. As for your 2nd post - Clearly I do know.

Take this as a very valuable life lesson. A new "life skill" to be learned - judgments and assumptions based on a very small picture that is presented to you - words on a message board, a seemingly healthy boy in the ladies room, a very tall child in a stroller - get you little further than sitting there with your foot in your mouth.

As for the "You appear to be new here" - that matters how? And a simple post search would see my initial postings being made in 2010. Just because I have a low post count and don't spend my days racking up the number to feel almighty doesn't mean I haven't been around.

And with all the evils in the world - children starving, two dead in Sydney, beheadings, war - it is a boy under 10 using the washroom with his mom in Disney World that causes you to "weep for humanity"? Really?

As for unisex bathrooms - Various bars, restaurants, etc. Bathrooms at gas stations with stalls both locally and in my travels from Chicago to Orlando, local amusement park, concert, theater, and the fair off the top of my head.

I have now been called a mother who failed to teach my child life skills, ignorant, irrational, newbie, and a hypocrite. How many things have I called you? Have I pointed out your hypocrisy, yes. Called you a hypocrite, no.
Any other names you want to call me? Go at it. I'm sure it will make you feel better about yourself and you clearly need that more than me.

Stick a fork in me...

Oh, we're throwing around credentials to make the things we say seem more legitimate? This topic was actually brought up in one of my classes when obtaining my BA in Social Science (with a minor in psychology). The conversation was actually pretty interesting when people look at something rationally instead of emotionally. I'm about 4 months shy from getting my masters in guidance counseling. *GASP* I'll be in a school setting counseling children.

I find it incredibly hard to believe that someone with a special needs child would actually pretend that a little girl with Autism could be rationalized with in the manner you did, particularly with a degree in psychology. Money well spent. I guess I can be glad that the doctors and psychiatrists that work with her don't share your strange opinion and don't advise me to teacher her life skills in the same manner as her younger (and more advanced) sister when they see she's pulled out all her eyebrows and eyelashes. Any brilliant tips on how to force the pee out of her while she's sprawled out over the toilet like a cat over a bathtub? If assumptions make me an ***, fine by me - while in the meantime you keep showing yours

"weep for humanity" - the art of sass and sarcasm = lost on Pook. Good to know.

Unisex bathroom listing - how hard was that the first time? Oh, it wasn't.

And you're right. I'm clearly in the need of a confidence boost. Next it'll be that I'm just jealous, right? I hope you can look back and see that you jumped in and twisted this thread to a level it wasn't at prior. Your responses at this point are simply for my amusement on this bleak and dreary hump day.

 

[mjkacmom]

ASD, no idea what that meant before you mentioned it. It surely never came up during my education in which I graduated with honors and distinction with a major in, oh what was it - ah yes, psychology. And surely it didn't come up in the multiple IEP meetings I attend nor was it ever mentioned during the FBA I just finished filling out a BASC-2 for or the SPM I am turning in tomorrow.

The term Autism Spectrum Disorder (or ASD) never came up once in your studies?! And I hope you are the parent, and not a member of the Child Study Team, if you haven't heard of Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) at an IEP meeting!

I think you are entitled to a refund from your university (although I don't know how anyone can exist in this world we live in and not be familiar with those terms).

 

[Pookasaurus]

indeed - Good luck with that!

Clearly you're not heeding your own studies regarding your emotional responses in which you're hurtling even more insults and personalizing your response to an unreasonable level to the discussion so yeah... Much luck to you lol.

 

[Pookasaurus]

The term Autism Spectrum Disorder (or ASD) never came up once in your studies?! And I hope you are the parent, and not a member of the Child Study Team, if you haven't heard of Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) at an IEP meeting!

I think you are entitled to a refund from your university (although I don't know how anyone can exist in this world we live in and not be familiar with those terms).

Are you seriously that freaking dense? Apparently I'm not the only one sarcasm is lost on.

 

[pigletgirl]

Oh, we're throwing around credentials to make the things we say seem more legitimate? This topic was actually brought up in one of my classes when obtaining my BA in Social Science (with a minor in psychology). The conversation was actually pretty interesting when people look at something rationally instead of emotionally. I'm about 4 months shy from getting my masters in guidance counseling. *GASP* I'll be in a school setting counseling children.

I find it incredibly hard to believe that someone with a special needs child would actually pretend that a little girl with Autism could be rationalized with in the manner you did, particularly with a degree in psychology. Money well spent. I guess I can be glad that the doctors and psychiatrists that work with her don't share your strange opinion and don't advise me to teacher her life skills in the same manner as her younger (and more advanced) sister when they see she's pulled out all her eyebrows and eyelashes. Any brilliant tips on how to force the pee out of her while she's sprawled out over the toilet like a cat over a bathtub? If assumptions make me an ***, fine by me - while in the meantime you keep showing yours

"weep for humanity" - the art of sass and sarcasm = lost on Pook. Good to know.

Unisex bathroom listing - how hard was that the first time? Oh, it wasn't.

And you're right. I'm clearly in the need of a confidence boost. Next it'll be that I'm just jealous, right? I hope you can look back and see that you jumped in and twisted this thread to a level it wasn't at prior. Your responses at this point are simply for my amusement on this bleak and dreary hump day.

Adults with who are self confident do not come across as catty and rude. Quit looking at the speck in her eye, when you have a log in your own.

Back to the discussion --

Why does it matter when there are little boys in the womens restrooms? Sometimes you don't have a choice. End of discussion.

 

[maleficent32]

Every child deserves a safe, clean, and private stall when they need to use the bathroom facilities if they are physically able to use the stall on their own.

Whether the boy is in the stall with a parent or his own stall, apparently the pre-teen girls will be mortified anyway since he is in the restroom facility, so there is no need to change the behavior that will now inconvenience the girls and the boy (and his mother) by making him share a stall with his adult female supervision (parent, grandparent, whomever).

See the forest thru the trees people - 142 kids were shot yesterday...safety is a concern here to stay.

Those preteen girls should not be mortified in a bathroom that is designated for their gender. Their comfort in that gender specific bathroom trumps a paranoid mother's feelings of her male child being unsafe in the bathroom designated for his gender. As a mother, if you are too frightened by what could happen the onus is on you to find a suitable alternative. Taking your 8 year old into a woman's restroom is not a suitable alternative. Your child is way too old, its time to cut the cord.