Children at DVC

[Beca]

Disney FN - I worked as a waitress all through college. Where I worked, I carried large, heavy trays of food. These trays greatly obstructed my view of anything below my shoulders (as that is the level where the trays were carried). I saw MANY a time where waiters tripped over children who were "just playing around the table" and china dishes would go crashing to the floor, sometimes causing harm to the child or waiter. Now, that never personally happened to me, but I will always think of those instances when I see children playing in restaurants where patrons are served. But, I imagine it could be even more dangerous where people are carrying food to their own tables because they a looking out for their own children (not yours), and they are not "professionals" at carrying food on trays in crowded places. Plus, when I pay $100.00 or more for a meal at Disney (which is SO easy to do), I would like to receive some sort of ambience with my meal that would go along with that price tag...and, I don't want that ambience to resemble Mc Donalds.

As for kids having meltdowns, I ALWAYS think the parents are responsible for that. I was a flight attendant for eight years, and the WORST flights to work were the flights leaving Orlando. People were tired, and kids were short-fused. It seemed to me that no one was having much fun. Disney is such an expensive place to vacation, that people tend to run at a "manic" pace, when the reality is...if you have small children, you need to run at their pace, not yours!! And remember, children not only need rest, but a place to get away from the "stimulation" of the parks. I ALWAYS assume that when my dd has a "meltdown" that I have just pushed her too far beyond what she is capable of. The world "stops", and we give her the "one on one time" she needs to cope. If that means that we leave a restaurant...then, we leave...and we are much the wiser next time (maybe change PS times or whatever is required).

As for the whole theory of what you do at home, vs. what you do out...well, I tend to run around my house in just a t-shirt and underwear...I'm sure EVERYONE will appreciate that I honor Disney's dress code and do NOT do that in the parks!! My rules at my house...their rules at theirs!!

 

[G8RFAN]

Originally posted by hoodedrooster
Although I do not post many messages on the board, I visit this message board every day to keep up with whats going on within the "neighborhood."

As a mod at a hobby site, I have to say I keep an eye out for certain signs such as a brand new member making claims that they lurk or don't post much but then start a controversial thread. This has been discussed before and I believe resulted in a closed thread once. I call such a thing "trolling" which I will gag or ban members. A simple IP check against existing members might result in someone ....err... I mean something surprising if they are not using AOL. The threshold between courtesy and "letting kids be kids" is an individual parenting issue. Let's keep this at home. Breaking Disney property rules is another issue...

 

[wilderness01]

Ok I have some of those kids that people have complemented them on their good behavior. We have gone into restaurants and gotten the glares before. Mostly from older people who I am sure are thinking ok great look at all those little kids sitting next to us! Almost everytime the person who was glaring the most came up to our kids and thanked them for being so good. When they were younger and not as well behaved we didn't go out alot. It wasn't fair to the other patrons. Or if we did go out we went to an early dinner that wasn't as crowded. Like right when the restaurant first serves for whatever meal we were going to. Why? Because it was the kindest thing to do for the children, us and the other patrons. I would have a real problem with children playing around their table. If the table was far enough away from us and didn't impact us, then oh well. But I do not feel it is fair to put it on me to have to go up and confront the parent as to this is making me feel uncomfortable. Or do I feel if approached I would really want to go THERE and tell them, yes, it does make me feel uncomfortable if you let them play around the table right next to ours, I think not. Maybe you would be OK with someone doing that, but the next person may not be and how am I suppose to know who is who? I especially do not want my kids to see that and then ask us or state to us "well those kids get to do it" over and over again until they get yelled at or someone is tense. We have worked very hard on their appropriate manners when dining out and don't need the extra hassle. Or do I want our kids to start staring at your kids wondering and saying outloud how they think that is wrong. Again, it is MY kids that will get reprimanded and then have a damper put on THEIR day. What one person does in their own home, fine, but when out in public I think everyone should be considerate of everyone else.

 

[LisaR]

Originally posted by DSNY FN we asked the people beside us this past trip if it was a problem they had no issue with it if they had I would have gotten the kids to stop[/B]

Here you say you ask people around you if it is okay.

QUOTE]Originally posted by DSNY FN
I know my 1 year old can be really loud he is a little ham and loves to play it up for people and the carachters when he sees them. He also likes to throw his food around when he gets to playing. My 3 year old well almost 3 anyhow she likes to crawl under the table and doesn't like to sit still I have no problem with that if she is playing around our table no big deal. We do eep her from roaming to other tables but if she wants to play around our table that is fine if we are still eating and she is done no big deal it makes me laugh to see people that scowl at the kids playing or point and whisper it makes you want to send the kids over to them and ask them if they have a problem come on folks they are kids and they are at the one place in the world that turns us all into kids. [/QUOTE]

This is from your earlier post. You say that basically it makes you laugh when your kids are disturbing the other guests around you. Which one is it?


Obviously we need to agree that we disagree on what is appropriate discipline/behavior in public. I will continue to teach my kids to be respectful individuals and that there is a time and place for everything. Because they are at WDW does not mean they have the right to throw their manners out the door. It doesn't mean because they are tired from being at parks all day that they have a right to throw food, play under tables, etc. It means that as a parent, I need to use common sense and recognize that eating out after 10 hours at the parks might not be in anyones best interest.

Lisa

 

[lenshanem]

Funny, looks like I'm getting in on this kinda late. I laughed when I read the OP's post. I tend to agree with them! Having one little angel and then a younger as the pediatrician would say, " high intensity child" I have learned to totally sympathize with any parent I come across having a difficult moment with their child. I think WDW really EMPHASIS kids' weaknesses. Little ones have not really learned how to cope in situations such as heat, crowds, long lines, long days. If it can be exhausting to me I know it can be for a child! To top it off because of school most families tend to travel at the same time making it worse and even more noticeable. Before my second child came along I might have looked down on "those" parents, but I now see the other side. Not all kids can cope with such stimulation. I personally am a big fan of going back to the room middle of the day. If anything to swim, go back to the room and sit and watch TV for a tad. Unfortunately my youngest quit taking naps after about the age of one - not kidding , but at least we can rest for a few hours. (This child has limitless energy, help me!) I think people need to lighten up and realize that WDW is a place for families and kids are just part of that package. When you put that many kids in one area I can bet you're going see at least one crying kid! If we get through this three year old phase life will be good! It is easy to judge others when you haven't experienced the same thing. Not all kids are alike.

 

[lenshanem]

"The way to keep children out of trouble is to keep them interested in things. Lecturing to children is no answer to delinquency. Preaching won't keep kids out of trouble. But keeping their minds occupied will."

--Walt Disney


I thought this appropriate to share. I just got this from Save Disney's email for the quote of the week.

 

[Kelly Nelly]

Originally posted by OneMoreTry
Are you serious??

Why bother to go to WDW? Go to NYC or a Ritz Carlton somewhere or to an adult resort in the Caribbean. They probably have lots of quiet pools. I don't think you belong at WDW with this kind of attitude.

I'm glad having kids isn't considered a crime in America yet and I'm glad WDW doesn't stick kids in a cellar -- separate but equal style. Is Maleficent your hero?

If someone has rude kids, speak to a manager at the restaurant. Also, compiment people when their kids are good. It's very encouraging for the kids!!

I really do not think that WDW can only be for one certain type of person. What would make you think that I do not belong at WDW? Just because I think that it would be nice to have Adult only pools. I do not hate kids or anything, about 99% of the problem of kids behaving badly is because of their parents.I just kinda of find it a pain in the butt when you go to relax in a hot tub and a bunch of little kids cannonball in to the tub.

 

[kweaver]

lenshanem -

Great quote! I also have one high-intensity child (and he's a middle child!)...and it can be quite a job to keep them occupied and out of trouble. I've treated all three of my kids the same way...and they've all lived by the same rules...but one of them is just programmed differently! I do agree...after experiencing a child like this myself, I tend to have more sympathy for parents who are going through a rough time with one of their kids in public.

 

[crisi]

I have one too. If all children were like my son, I'd probably be sending nasty glares to anyone whose child misbehaves. However, I have my daughter to teach me patience, humility and that all the "best parenting I can managing" isn't enough all the time to keep her from exploding.

But we do try our best to keep her out of situations where she will explode. And try our best so that when she does explode she doesn't spread schrapnel on innocent bystanders. And try, try, try, to teach her that exploding is not the appropriate response for "I'm not getting my way." That means I don't go into the Candy Store on Mainstreet unless I'm prepared to shell out for candy. We haven't seen Spectro in years because the timing and crowds haven't been condusive to her temper. And fancy restaurants have waited for the most part - especially, as has been mentioned, at peak dining times (maybe next trip).

 

[twinmomplus2new]

First off let me say I am with Gail hayden and Pa@okw, When I first read the post by is is Dsnyfun? I thought she was trying to get our goat. By continuing to rationalize her lack of control, I see he/she wasn't kidding. this type of parent you can not reason with.
I have said it a 100 times. everyones kids are cute, everyones kids are worthy of the same fun to be had at Disney world. No one is suggesting your kids not have fun, or be muzzled, However it is our responsibility as parents to insure they are learning to be socialized, throwing food is not cute, screaming is not cute in any capacity. Letting your kids ask adults if they have a problem? OOOOhhh bad, bad , bad, what is going to happen when they ask thier teachers that? Adults should not empower children to confront adults, It does not mean they are strong willed. They are brats if speaking to adults in this manner.
Anyone who has read any of my posts knows I have 4 children of all ages who are far from perfect who do lots of fresh things,

Including peeing off the deck as one of my 3 year olds just did while I was typing this.

We travel quite a bit and the rules are always the same be quiet, be respectful, be polite and be kind. If they can not sit through dinner and it is generally required even for safety so they don't get a tray dropped on thier heads, Then you need to do as I do I have one suggestion drive thru!!! Does it stink for you totally. Is it fun no. However they know they can not go IN if they can not sit. I go back and order myself a nice meal ala room service. you have to be willing to sacrafice in order to EVENTUALLY get good behavior. It is WORK to require children to behave. I have left restaurants,Canceled a flight home while in MCO... due to bad behavior well actually heinous behavior, canceled a sunrise safari because of concerns about disturbing other paying guests. removed the little ones from Club floor lounges because they were behaving questionably.
The problem here and this isn't a flame to one person it is generalized. Is the parent failing to do the work and teach proper behavior. It is work to keep on them and much easier to pretend you do not see it.
I have a beautiful little neice who is 4 who screams, throws things, kicks mom and dad in the shins, when she is angry, refuses to share, does not have a bedtime and is completely out of control at 4. Foe example screamed her head off last evening like a banshee because her mom ate a piece of gum that she wanted, No matter that there was a whole pack left You know what mom did laughed and gave her the chewed gum out of her mouth so the kid could throw it out cause she couldn't have it no one would. Let me tell you that gum would have been in the trash and the kid in the bed faster than the first screech. Do you think that is just strong willed, and thescream is understandable expression, To me it just said brat. I love her to death but trust me she has alienated hundreds of people attending about 4 partys here over the course of about a year. She is refferred to as the screamer. Can you imagine what she will be like as a teenager. I can not even forsee the future for her. somthing to consider others certainly do not think its cute. just my parental opinion.

 

[DSNY FN]

I think it is a second child thing because our middle one is rambunctious always on the go right until she falls asleep she is just go go go. It is fun to see her @ Disney she is wanting to go in so many directions all at once to see everything/everyone she is so cute the youngest one just likes to climb on everything he is a climber. He climbs the bookshelf he climbs on the entertainment centre etc. He also likes to be heard all the time and loves to play his favourite game is as I had said earlier lets throw dinner on the floor so we ignore it and he usually stops when you make a fuss over it he keeps going after all he is 1 and it is all about the games.

 

[borncinderella]

Thank you crisi and twinmomplus2new!

I feel the same way! Some of the trade-off of having children is, unfortunately, denying them (and therefore yourself) certain things and going certain places because the children simply cannot behave appropriately there. It IS hard work to train them to behave well in public; the failure is not when the children misbehave, the failure is not removing them from the situation when it is obvious they will not improve. I have seen a huge cultural shift from parents being mortified by their children's misbehavior, to apathy and sometimes outright aggression that, "we (all) have the right to be here!" Well, I disagree. I agree that children should be able to go just about everywhere, as long as there is appropriate public behavior. (This is the reason why I did not know what a "tip" was until age 18 -- we just never went out to eat because my brother, sister and I were awful!) I fear, however, that this is one of the nicities that is slowly disappearing from society.

 

[dairyou]

quote

if they are playing at our table and ot at anyone elses and it bothers them then maybe they should as I said come over and talk to me we are not unreasonalbe people I know in this world you never know how people will react but here I have no problem as I said if someone comes over to me and talks to me about it.

DSNY FN...

I guess I don't understand why I should stop eating my dinner and come to you about your children.

I believe it may be the same situation at the movies. It is expected that everyone there is paying to see a movie. If one is talking loud and can't hear, do one of us have to go and ask them to quiet down? Isn't quietness expected at the movie theater.

My point is.. there are certain manners that are expected everywhere we go. That is just a part of life.

 

[twinmomplus2new]

Well on the food throwing I asume you mean he drops it on the floor. If it is being thrown it needs to be removed being dropped by a one year old baby is a game of cause and effect. he is only one? Thats what they do, they learn if they drop it you will get it. That eventually it hits the floor. I don't think that is fresh in any capacity. Unless you do not crawl around and pick up after the little guy, That is standard 1 year old behavior.

 

[Desperado]

One of the advantages of being a DVC member is being able to let the younger children have the run of the pool area. Our kids are second grade and younger, so we just send them down by the pool and let the lifegaurds and other parents keep an eye on them for us, while we go off and have some fun. We never really have to ask others to watch them, when they start getting too out of hand and throw food or pop in the pool, usually someone will ask them to stop. The hot tubs are a help because the kids can go sit in the hot tub for a few minutes and then they don't have to go visit the bathroom as often, it's harder for them to get the bathroom door open. It saves the kids time, and then we don't have to worry about it, especially since we're not around anyway. Usually after a few hours we can just swing by and pick them up, they get pretty tired after screaming chasing and splashing everyone. They also tend to fight and yell at each other alot, but that'll teach them to stick up for themselves. it's great exercised for them when they are screaming at the top of thier lungs, we get a big kick out of it. I just can't get enough of that fun game they play, Marco Polo. But they have to play it right and really yell it out so the other kids can hear, or it's not fair. Our kids play that for hours, we think. Since we're not there or are removed from the situation, we don't get many complaints directly toward us as parents, not many people bother to come up to us. If they do it's in one ear and out the other, especially if we've been able to get enough drinks. The boys usually haven't hurt any of the other children too bad, the littler children who aren't ours probably need to get used to getting pick on by bullies anyway. Besides, the lifegaurd/babysitters should be watching out for that anyway.

Meals are a little harder, and I don't like getting interupted while I'm eating in order to correct children, after all they grow out of it eventually. A little food throwing, temper tantrums, fighting and screaming are normal in our household, so we're pretty used to the same in a restaraunt, and it doesn't really bother us when our children act up or scream. We can usually ignore our kids and continue eating our meal and enjoy it. After all we paid for it. Some of the screeming and fighting kids will just have to grow out of, I'm sure others experience the same. You've got to let your kids make thier own decisions. after a while they'll get tired of the fighting and get sleepy. No sense denying them anything when they are on vacation, whatever they want, that's what we are there for to let them do what they want, forget table manners and let us to take a vacation from correcting, guiding and other bothersome stuff. Heck, it's not like we have much time for that stuff when we're not on vacation anyway. Kids will be kids.

 

[ClarabelleCow]

I have 2 kids, age 4 and 11, so I am beyond the food throwing stage. But, when my kids were 1-2 and did this, guess what, we didn't eat out! Fast food or food on the go. I wouldn't subject others to that behavior. I just don't get the attitude of some parents, if you know the kids will melt at the parks, DON"T STAY THAT LONG!!!! Obviously, most here are DVC owners, so we are not talking about a once in a life time trip! Some are going 2-3 times a year, why subject the kids to the long days, let alone the people around you. If your kid is in line freaking out, obviously its time to bag the ride and do something else, I have seen this on more than once, where the kids are freaking out while waiting for a ride, why put them and yourself through it!

Now, on the other side of the coin, if I go to Chef Mickeys or any character meal, I expect the kids to be loud and rowdy, but not rude and out of control (news flash - parents can still control their kids in a kid atmosphere!!!) . But if I go to dinner at LeCellier, or the place at the top of the Contemporary, I will speak up if I get hit with a piece of flying steak or you kids are under my table.

 

[ClarabelleCow]

Desparado -

Unfortunately there are those that really think like that!!!

 

[goldilocks_63]

DD at three was a handful, as being newly adopted from a foreign country.

It's taken 2 years, of we don't spank, but if you don't behave, we'll have to leave..... and following thru with it.

I try not to ruin other peoples dinning experiences, go early, on week nights, and have had to walk out, with hubby throwing money on the table, and us sitting in the car until the food could be boxed.

But, it has paid off. My DD is now everyone's favorite at just shy of 6, gets invited everywhere, and is a joy with Please and Thank you. SHe gets invited to do tons of fun stuff because she's just a nice, respectful kid.

Now we're working on catching up academically, but we made a decision to first get her behavior in control, so that she could learn, and everything else would follow.

I wonder if because we are older (I'm 40), that I'm old fashioned, and manners like this for kids are now Passe...?

But it makes our household smoother so this is what we do at our house...

Goldi

 

[Desperado]

When we go out to dinner, our kids like to socialize with people at the tables around us. It probably helps build up thier social skills. Sometimes they start a meltdown situation, but I figure if the other table is talking with them, they are the ones causing the meltdown and should try to fix it. Drinks are too expensive at Disney to interupt them to resolve every kids problem, especially with all the problems kids have. Besides, we're used to it, it doesn't bother us anymore, that's what home is like. After a while, people get used to all the noise anyway. They can always move if they don't like it. I wouldn't want to restrict my kids or limit their future by not having them socialize with others. They need to learn for parties and future binges. After all it is Disney, kids should be able to do whatever they want, and we need a vacation too. When we do correct the kids, I like to do it really loudly so everyone knows that I am interupting my drinks to yell at and slap the kids. Somtimes a good slap and some curse words can help settle kids down when in a quiet restaraunt. My wife does that with me sometimes, but I tend to yell back at her louder than she yells at me. My kids are starting to pick up the habit too. It's so cute. Trying to keep them in thier seats if pretty hard, back home at our trailer it's easier because they cant get away too far from the table. When they have more space in a bigger restaraunt, it's best to just let them enjoy it. People are used to other people's kids crawling around thier table anyway, at least we are. No different than some of the other critters we've got crawling under our fold down table back home.

The other thing we did was we bought them some drum sticks to play with back in the room. You should see those kids go, druming on everything like they are Pete Moon or Ringo Starr or something, they just love to drum on furniture, door handles, walls, railings, windows, bathroom pipes, Toilet seats, bathtubs, anything they can beat against they like. Sometimes when we go out at night and leave them back at the room, we find they've been playing Rock-N-Roll versus Rap fighting with druming contests, and they start pulling out the kitchen utensils and pans for extra drums and beaters, and turn the music station on the TV real loud. It's so cute. It keeps them busy while we are out late at night. I'll bet they'll be able to grow up and be a roady with all thier druming talent. Sometimes we'vve found a couple of burn marks where a cigarette fell out of thier mouth when they we're trying to imitate a rock drummer, so we tell them not to smoke and drum at the same time, do one or the other. they are too young to be able to smoke and drum together, maybe later in vocational school or when getting their GED they can do that. They'd better leave my cigars alone too even if they do like the plastic tip mouth holders, they are expensive and they are mine, special for vacation. We usually need to bring our own ash tray because we have trouble getting a smoking room. I dont' think kids are as hard as everyone says, let them do thier own thing and be ready to bail them out when needed.

 

[Beca]

Desperado...well said!!!