Children and temper tantrums at parks, misbehaving...

[ireland_nicole]

Liberty lover;
Thanks for helping me expand my perspective; it never even occured to me that you might have had that kind of difficulty. I am stunned that you actually have to carry your child's birth certificate. Although I am as grateful for our right to free speech as anyone, I am appalled that someone would think they had the right to make inflammatory remarks to ya'll simply because you didn't look exactly like your child. I am inspired by your patience and tact.

 

[fairfax]

As a mom of preschoolers, I just think "we've all been there." It does not bother me.

 

[GrowingUpDisney]

Can I just add that people should not bring babies into certain attractions/shows unless they can keep that baby quiet? If your baby starts screaming because he/she is hungry or whatever - please leave with said baby. That can be just as frustrating as a toddler having a tantrum...

 

[Disney Doll]

A year or so ago, we were with a family who turned out to have the meltdown fit-throwers for kids. For the first time, we were the group that people stared at in a restaurant thinking, "Those parents need to get those heathens under control." I was mortified, as was DH and DD. And you know what? I can't blame the other patrons. I had never seen anything like it. It happened everywhere we went. No autism to attribute it to, just a complete lack of discipline. And yes, I am sure "we" messed up the evening for other diners near us on more than one occasion. Subtle hints to behave fell on deaf ears. Oh well.....WE were mortified, as I said. The parents were blissfully unaware that anything was amiss or that anyone was in the least irritated. At some point, I believe the waitress would have tipped US to leave.

And these are the people who annoy us.

I do not have children, unfortunately. I was unable to have them. I do like kids...always have. I enjoy them. Most of the time I can look at a melting down child and smile and think to myself "Somebody needs a break" and quite often, it appears as iof the parent of that child is attempting to do just that...get them to somewhere where they can have a break.

Obviously special needs kids are a different story all together, and I salute the parents who have the patience to deal with them.

But, you parents with "normal" kids who are brats...just stop. Stop allowing your kid to run wild. Stop the "if I ignore them, they'll stop" baloney. Ignore them for 2 minutes. If they don't stop, then get them out of the restaurant, show or whatever. Sorry, but I have a really hard time believing that every kid I see at WDW throwing a tantrum or misbehaving is a special needs kid. And truthfully, most people can recognize a "responding" parent from a non-responding parent.

And FTR,, no I do not think it is adorable to watch your 4 year old lay in between the tables in a restaurant and scream. Even if she is wearing a princess dress.

 

[GaSleepingBeautyFan]

DS is past the meltdown stage but DD still has them occasionally.

I just let her have the tantrum and watch over her. I remind her to get control and most times she does quickly so I don't have to remove her from the area.

I just take each tantrum as it comes and handle it based on the cause since each one is due to a different reason usually.

I've got no doubt that in September DD will have at least one that folks will witness.

Kids can be so challenging.

 

[Disney Doll]

StellaBlue: Thank you for your support. No I am not advocating "ignoring" typical childrens tantrums or children w/ special needs meltdowns (trust me, they are very different.) If I only had $1.00 for every restaurant, movie, circus (o.k., bad idea-didn't try again after the first time) show, store, etc. That my DH or I has walked out of w/ one of our precious ones, I'd be rich. And in case any one is questioning why we even bother to leave the house-this is the world my children live in. We are a family-though we have limits to what we can accomplish, it is in our children's best interest to stretch those limits gently. I cannot speak for people w/ typical children as I don't have any. But for myself, I will say that I have gotten plenty of looks, and comments, etc. even at WDW. At the risk of being flamed, No one is entitled to a completely perfect vacation. WDW is one of the few places in the World that our family can vacation. I work extremely hard to plan and implement a vacation that creates as little stress on my family and disruption to others as possible. BUT-meltdowns are a daily occurence in our lives, and that means that there will be times that others in the park will hear my dear ones dulcet tones... So if you happen to be there in Sept. And see a family of 5 w/ a red special needs jogging stroller holding their child entirely too closely while they just let them scream in the middle of WDW (although usually I try to find as quiet a corner as possible, but sometimes difficult to do w/ 50 lbs of resistance) just know it's probably us-and maybe just ignore us for a few minutes, or even better, send up a little prayer for us. We are not trying to make your life miserable, we are just trying to have a vacation and make memories for our children-the same as you probably are. And we are doing the best we can - and we don't like it any more than you do. Just a thought. There are many medical conditions that cause meltdowns, most are invisible. I read recently that Austism affects one in 6 people. They either have it, have siblings to have it, are parents, etc. Just something to think about. Have a magical day
Nicole

But again, nicole, you have a red special needs stroller, you are attending your child...holding your child closely etc. You are responding. That's the difference.


Kids are going to tantrum. Kids are going to melt down. Heck, I melt down once in a while. The thing that is annoying to the rest of us is not so much the meltdown as the non-response to the meltdown. You obviously would not fall into this category.

 

[dmccarty]

We waited to go to WDW until our youngest was 4 so she would enjoy the place as well as being less likely to have a fit. Both kids did pretty good. The only real meltdown I remember was from our oldest at the Rainforest cafe. It was lunch so she may have been tired after spending 4-6 hours in AK.

She ordered hotdogs and when when she put ketchup on the dogs IT HAPPENED. The ketchup Got On The BUN!

The crying commenced. Cleaning up the bun was not enough. Talking. Reasoning. Nope, not working. The server was great! He brought out new hotdogs which stopped the crying. As a result got a big tip. That is the only fit I remember from both kids.

We look at other parents dealing with a tantrum and just kinda cringe and smile. Hoping we won't be in Tantrum Town anytime soon. I don't remember seeing many fits at WDW. Issues with adults, we had a couple. But as other have said the only "problem" I have with a kids tantrum is if the parent is chewing the childs fanny so to speak. Kids have tantrums. How the parents deal with them is really the problem.

I was in the grocery store the other day. Usually my oldest is with me but I was alone. I wish she had been there to see what happened though. I would have like to see what she thought. There was a mother with an infant and a daughter that looked to be about 7. The seven year old was running around in the I Want This mode. Mom was calmly and robotically saying No. I smiled at Mom since I have a closet full of the Been There Done That T-Shirts. We followed each other through the store and about half way the little girl, after being told "No." for the 101st time, said, "You are such a big MEANY!" I busted a gut on that one.

If I only had a penny for every time we heard that one we could live at WDW 365 days a year!

We are soon off to WDW again. The kids have learned the following WDW Mantra aka The Three Rules Of WDW.
1-There are No Fits at WDW.
2-There is No Crying at WDW.
3-Only Fun is allowed at WDW.



They do remember The Three Rules Of WDW.

Whether The Rules will rule is another story. And we may need to add Rule Number 4 after this weekend.

4-There is No Fighting at WDW. :lol

Later,
Dan

 

[jngwright]

There was this great video email that went around awhile back. A mom and son were at the grocery store. Son throws himself on the floor, having a fit because he wanted a certain cereal (I think). The mom throws herself on the floor and starts screaming and whining-rolling around. The boys stops his tantrum and just stares at his mom. She gets up, dusts herself off, and gives the kid the mom eye-like "see how silly that looked" and they go on their merry way. I at that and still do. I doubt I would have the guts to do it...but maybe one day!

 

[Maggie'sMom]

There was this great video email that went around awhile back. A mom and son were at the grocery store. Son throws himself on the floor, having a fit because he wanted a certain cereal (I think). The mom throws herself on the floor and starts screaming and whining-rolling around. The boys stops his tantrum and just stares at his mom. She gets up, dusts herself off, and gives the kid the mom eye-like "see how silly that looked" and they go on their merry way. I at that and still do. I doubt I would have the guts to do it...but maybe one day!

I've done this at home, but never in public. My daughter responded by stopping her fit, crossing her arms across her chest, and in full pout tell me "Mommy, you're not allowed to do that." I burst out laughing and she was soon giggling too.

 

[1hero2princesses]

I had to reply to this. I live in the suburbs outside chicago and have experienced a number of tantrums with my middle child (2). At Christmas she had a one at the post office. I had to mail something, I couldn't leave and I had to get it there in time. So I asked her to stop screaming (she was mostly crying but would let out a yell a few times). I tried to calm her down. I said I was sorry to the person in front of me. All I got was nasty looks, rude stares. After about a minute a customer at the counter turned around, looked right at me and Yelled Take IT outside. I was shocked. I couldn't help myself. I looked right at him and said well merry christmas to you to. How mature. She is 2, what is your excuse. I know some people may think I was wrong for not leaving but I couldn't believe that not one person was nice. I was doing the best I could (I also have a 4 year old and then 7 month old) and trying to keep her quiet. I won't worry about Disney meltdowns. If it happens, it happens. I was very sad the rest of the day. It really made me feel disapointed in people.

 

[jpeka65844]

There was this great video email that went around awhile back. A mom and son were at the grocery store. Son throws himself on the floor, having a fit because he wanted a certain cereal (I think). The mom throws herself on the floor and starts screaming and whining-rolling around. The boys stops his tantrum and just stares at his mom. She gets up, dusts herself off, and gives the kid the mom eye-like "see how silly that looked" and they go on their merry way. I at that and still do. I doubt I would have the guts to do it...but maybe one day!

Better still was the one from somewhere in Europe where a guy was with a kid at a grocery store who threw a tantrum, knocked stuff down, screamed, the whole nine yards.

At the end, there was a reminder for the gentlemen watching to wear a condom.

 

[luvthemouse71]

That is too funny!

 

[stellablue]

Honestly, in our childless years were we more annoyed with young adult and adult behaviors than children having tantrums.

OMG, I have to say that one age group I have a tough time tolerating are high schoolers, namely the ones who come unattended from their parents. Someday, when my time comes to have children, I hope they invent a machine to let me fast forward through this era.....I will take a screaming tantrumming child ANY DAY over an obnoxiously rude and self centered teen who is thriving on being away from their parents for a few days-uggh....

This was the only population that truthfully got under my skin during our last trip. Teenagers from the dance competitions screaming at each other on the bus to have a conversation a few inches away from each other (screaming in my ear), other teens using less than desirable language in front of little ones, standing in front of the FP machine gabbing away and giving you a dirty look after you've said "excuse me" for the 10th time, talking on their cell phones or loudly to each other during an attraction, saying really mean things to each other about their friends or about strangers, and the worst was pushing in front of people and cutting everyone in line while waiting for Fantasmic and pretending (very poorly) that they are "looking for someone" while laughing at the fact that they've just cut 20 people.

It is amazing how different a teenager can act when their parents are not around. So sweet and polite around their families until they are given a little freedom and turn into monsters! I have no doubt that many of you have stellar teenagers, even when you send them off on trips without your direct supervision, but there is a population of rude and obnoxious teenagers that I just have little patience for.

I think the true test of how well a child was raised is how respectful they act when you are not around.

At least with a small child, the odds are likely that a parent will deal with it in some way. A teenager experiencing a bit of independence does not have their parent there to discipline them. There is no sense in one of us saying something to them, as a kid who is that rude to begin with is certainly not going to listen to a stranger.

I guess everyone has their patience limit with something and that age group is mine.

Ireland_Nicole & Disneylvr: I'll babysit your cuties in WDW anytime if you save me from the obnoxious unsupervised teens!!!

 

[Lynn5700]

I understand children becoming overtired and sometimes we all need a moment to get it back together(kids and parents)
I'm lucky that my children are pretty even tempered; 5 & 8. But even so kids are kids and they argue, fuss and fight. One thing that I found worked really well was....TinkerBell visits our room at night, much like the tooth fairy and leaves small treats. But only if you are good during the day.
I go to the Dollar Store before the trip and buy inexpensive gifts like crayons, bubbles, gold coins, etc. and also confetti. The confetti is the PIXIE DUST.
Well we go again in April and just last week my son told his younger sister that she better remember to behave at Disney if she wanted Tinkerbell to visit.
This works out so well for us. Good behavior and the added bonus of getting them out of bed early enough to make rope drop every day. They want to see what TinkerBell left!

That is such a cute and great idea

 

[BabyPiglet]

I think the true test of how well a child was raised is how respectful they act when you are not around.

I agree! I happen to be a teenager myself, and even I'm appalled at how people my age act. I'm sometimes frusterated to be associated with others in my age group.

I know I'd never act rude to strangers, it's just not how I am. I shake my head when I see it other places.

 

[CanadianGuy]

Heck .. I'm a grown adult ... always traveling with "grown adults" and had a meltdown at Disney in March of 2007 ... Now mind you there wasn't any kicking or screaming or repeating chorus' of 'But whyyyyyyy...?"

But there may as well have been.

There is something about the combination of jet lag, overtiredness, the excitement of Disney and when you roll it all together.. what it means is that ANYONE (child or adult) can have a Disney meltdown.

Knox

 

[keylimepie]

I know Autism has been brought up, and I have so much respect for those who deal with this. One friend has a son with high functioning autism, another is a special ed teacher who works with autistic kids. What i do wonder about though is the kids who arent handelign theme parks well... I was at Busch Gardens Europe last fall (we had seasons passes) and dh and I passed by a kid who obviously had autism(as obvious as what autism can show, just very stereotypical signs in this case), prob around the age of 12. He was sitting on the ground near a building, and just rocking back and forth on his heels, head down. This was one of the busiest days at Busch, during hallowscream, which I can only imagine is as packed as WDW on a bad day. You can hardly breathe its so crowded. His parents were not near him....He was just there, by himself rocking. Now I had to wonder if maybe it was a bad thing for him to be there on such a busy day? That maybe he couldnt handle it? I just felt bad for him because no one was near him, and he obviously seemed overstimulated.

FWIW, I am not suggesting in anyway that kids with autism shouldnt go to amusement parks. But that scene, for some odd reason, i just felt the parents handled it wrong. I dont know where they were, but I am thinking prob one of the nearby shops. Am i wrong to think that? Like I said, i dont know what its like raising a child with autism, but my gut reaction was that he needed to be someplace with less stimuli.

 

[GrowingUpDisney]

I know Autism has been brought up, and I have so much respect for those who deal with this. One friend has a son with high functioning autism, another is a special ed teacher who works with autistic kids. What i do wonder about though is the kids who arent handelign theme parks well... I was at Busch Gardens Europe last fall (we had seasons passes) and dh and I passed by a kid who obviously had autism(as obvious as what autism can show, just very stereotypical signs in this case), prob around the age of 12. He was sitting on the ground near a building, and just rocking back and forth on his heels, head down. This was one of the busiest days at Busch, during hallowscream, which I can only imagine is as packed as WDW on a bad day. You can hardly breathe its so crowded. His parents were not near him....He was just there, by himself rocking. Now I had to wonder if maybe it was a bad thing for him to be there on such a busy day? That maybe he couldnt handle it? I just felt bad for him because no one was near him, and he obviously seemed overstimulated.

FWIW, I am not suggesting in anyway that kids with autism shouldnt go to amusement parks. But that scene, for some odd reason, i just felt the parents handled it wrong. I dont know where they were, but I am thinking prob one of the nearby shops. Am i wrong to think that? Like I said, i dont know what its like raising a child with autism, but my gut reaction was that he needed to be someplace with less stimuli.

Why would anyone leave a 12 year old alone in a busy park period - especially one with a disability??

 

[rlahsin]

This thread does my heart good. We will be traveling to Disney at the end of the month for the very first time. We will have our 5 and 3 year old DDs with us. I am certain that there will be a meltdown (or several) at various points during our trip. It's to be expected. I just hope that when my husband and I are screaming, crying and thrashing around on the ground the kids will know how to calm us down.

 

[CanadianGuy]

This thread does my heart good. We will be traveling to Disney at the end of the month for the very first time. We will have our 5 and 3 year old DDs with us. I am certain that there will be a meltdown (or several) at various points during our trip. It's to be expected. I just hope that when my husband and I are screaming, crying and thrashing around on the ground the kids will know how to calm us down.

Touché! Thanks for a much needed chuckle today!!!

Knox