Children and temper tantrums at parks, misbehaving...

[jpeka65844]

Whenever DH and I hear a kid having a meltdown we look at each other and say "Ahhh....the sound of Disneyworld"

Seriously, tantrums at WDW are a fact of life. But in 3 trips, we've only ever seen 2. Once when a little boy became a demon b/c his mother wouldn't buy him a toy and one that resulted in the little girl yelling "I don't like you Mommy!" Mom shot back "Oh yeah? I don't like you right now either!" DH and I just smiled.....

DS who was 1 yr 4 mos at the time had some back in 3/07. One during the Nemo show, one in line for Jungle Cruise, and one on the plane going home. He was just tired!!! It's our fault for pushing him too hard.....

 

[Feralpeg]

I never get upset when children have a meltdown. It does bother me to see a parent rolling on the ground, kicking and screaming! Sometimes, you can have too much fun!

 

[creativeamanda]

As the mother of an autistic child, I would ask you to please consider that when a child is melting down, they may not be badly behaved, the may have special challenges; and that when a parent seems to be "not dealing with a tantrum" they may actually be doing what is most appropriate for the child.
Nicole

I was thinking the same thing! DS has ADHD and while he has learned to control most of his problems through removing himself for a moment, etc., a visit to Chuck E. Cheese's can be a nightmare for us and him.

That being said, I get less frustrated with kids having tantrums than people without kids giving the parents dirty looks. Don't they think if we could punch a button and stop it we would?

I think the open spaces at Disney make it less likely that a kid is going to have a meltdown. (DS did just fine at WDW last winter) I think crowds in a building give my son a feeling of clausterphobia.

 

[DisneyCatMom]

I understand children becoming overtired and sometimes we all need a moment to get it back together(kids and parents)
I'm lucky that my children are pretty even tempered; 5 & 8. But even so kids are kids and they argue, fuss and fight. One thing that I found worked really well was....TinkerBell visits our room at night, much like the tooth fairy and leaves small treats. But only if you are good during the day.
I go to the Dollar Store before the trip and buy inexpensive gifts like crayons, bubbles, gold coins, etc. and also confetti. The confetti is the PIXIE DUST.
Well we go again in April and just last week my son told his younger sister that she better remember to behave at Disney if she wanted Tinkerbell to visit.
This works out so well for us. Good behavior and the added bonus of getting them out of bed early enough to make rope drop every day. They want to see what TinkerBell left!

 

[kirasmom]

When I asked one of my girlfriends when they were going to take a family trip to WDW or DL, she said, "when my son is old enough to not throw tantrums when he gets upset. I hate the idea of scooping him up and walking out of the park...and then thinking of all the $ wasted because of his fit." That always stayed with me. I also never would want to compromise appropriate discipline for my child just because I spent a bunch of money.I know it's not possible for everyone... some PPs mentioned special needs kids and such.... but we waited until our DD was 4 1/2, and she did great (thank goodness!).

 

[IWISHFORDISNEY]

You know in all my trips to the world both with and without children. It took us 12 years before we had a child. I only remember 2 times that a child/children were really out of control. The first was a young boy 6 or 7ish that had obvious issues other than your normal tantrum. He was literally rolling on the ground with mustard all over him from his hotdog. We felt very bad for the grandparents and offered to help. The other time was just bad parenting. Children were running around Cali grill a brother and sister and literally running/hiding under our table during our dinner. I not so kindly returned them to their parents who were either drunk or oblivious. Other than that I dont think I have ever noticed children doing anything other than what a typical hot tired child would do. I have seen worse behavior at the mall. LOL.

 

[stellablue]

As the mother of an autistic child, I would ask you to please consider that when a child is melting down, they may not be badly behaved, the may have special challenges; and that when a parent seems to be "not dealing with a tantrum" they may actually be doing what is most appropriate for the child.
Nicole

Oh yes, I am quite tolerant and understanding of that. For my line of work, I actually write those behavior plans for same and similar populations as your child

But it would NEVER be good practice to implement a behavior plan that allows a child to run around wild and unattended putting himself/others in harms way or screaming throughout an entire movie while a parent completely ignores them. That is the parent behavior I am referring to.. Child needs to be removed from the attraction at that point and brought to a safe location until he is able to return.

As an aside, the parents and teachers I work with have a very useful tactic they often use in the community to help deter the dirty looks and also strangers attempting to intervene (which can actually make a situation worse, even though the stranger means well). They carry around small business cards that simply say that the child has some special needs and has a specialized plan to help him/her and lets the know that they appreciate the concern, but they are safe and fine. They will hand the card to anyone that might be trying to intervene or make the situation worse. They have found these cards pretty effective in having people turn away and go about their business.

 

[disjointed]

I understand children becoming overtired and sometimes we all need a moment to get it back together(kids and parents)
I'm lucky that my children are pretty even tempered; 5 & 8. But even so kids are kids and they argue, fuss and fight. One thing that I found worked really well was....TinkerBell visits our room at night, much like the tooth fairy and leaves small treats. But only if you are good during the day.
I go to the Dollar Store before the trip and buy inexpensive gifts like crayons, bubbles, gold coins, etc. and also confetti. The confetti is the PIXIE DUST.
Well we go again in April and just last week my son told his younger sister that she better remember to behave at Disney if she wanted Tinkerbell to visit.
This works out so well for us. Good behavior and the added bonus of getting them out of bed early enough to make rope drop every day. They want to see what TinkerBell left!

Ingenious!

 

[kvogel11202]

As a parent I can say that when the child has a meltdown it is due to previously mentioned issue- heat, tired, overstimulated. However, there is a simple solution - remove your child from the situation. We head back, take naps, hit the pool, just relax. I find that planning one sit down lunch per day allows the kids a chance to recharge the batteries as well. Yes, we all pay a lot of money to be there, but it's a bigger waste of money to be miserable than to miss a couple hours in the parks. What I do not care for is when the child is having a meltdown and the parents just keep dragging them along. Even kids with special issues happening need to be dealt with. It's not right to subject everyone around you to your childs tantrum. Disney is for everyones enjoyment- be considerate, especially to your child!

 

[collcass]

I've not visited WDW yet, but I have been to plenty of other places. A child having a meltdown is only one behavior normally encountered. I can think of plenty of behaviors by adults which would cause me to be a heck of a lot more offended than a child crying.

 

[grumpalina]

dd had COLOSSAL meltdowns every single day of our trip. it got ugly for the first couple of days until we figured out (duh) how overwhelmed she was & that our expectations of her needed to be very very very adjusted. we were definitely stressing because it HAS TO BE FUN!!! once we scaled back our expectations & figured out what she could & could not handle, things went more smoothly.

dd would get totally freaked out about random things and hated almost every ride! she was perfectly happy just meeting characters! we'll be way more laid back next trip!

 

[ireland_nicole]

At the risk of becoming a poster mom, I have to say the following:
1. I agree that parents letting children run riot whilst oblivious to their welfare is neither appropriate nor safe. By necessity, our home is extremely structured and my children are more closely supervised than most in public , partly because they have no stranger anxiety.

2. I can not speak for everyone, but my DD has been known to have meltdowns lasting 2 hours (and yes, we use every technique known to man to avoid them). Particularly at WDW, if your child has a full meltdown at the back of the park, it could appear that you are just callously dragging your child around when all you are doing is trying to exit the park and reach your hotel. (For what it's worth, we tour parks less than 5 hours a day because we don't want more meltdowns than necessary. They are exhausting, embarrasing (None of us want to be in the center of a crowd staring and frowning-even making extremely hurtful comments.) and can result in injury if not handled properly. (And yes, we have left a lot of shows, meals, etc. when necessary)

I'm just asking that the next time you see a situation with a child (particularly if their parents appear stressed) that you try to give them the benefit of the doubt. You may have to deal w/ the noise for a few minutes, but you have no way of knowing what this child and their parents may have to struggle with every day. Share a little magic and offer the parents a little space.

I appreciate your patience, I just think that its important for us all to try to be tolerant of every family's desire to experience the magic of Disney.

Thanks
Nicole

 

[jetprincess]

We're all in the same boat here. Whose child hasn't had a meltdown in public that left the parents red in the face!?!

Honestly, I think what draws the glares and evil eyes are the parents' reactions to the tantrum. When you see a parent lose it and start cursing at a 4 year old...that is what makes people cringe!



P.S. I am not a perfect parent nor am I claiming to be!

 

[RllngRckBrw]

Our son did 12 hours in the parks every day for 6 days in 90 degree weather and had no meltdowns. I mean nothing at all. I thought I wanted to cry after waiting in that heat a few times, but he did not mind at all. It really must be the happiest place on earth.

 

[maxiesmom]

I vividly remember by niece having a doozy of a tantrum. We had been touring the Magic Kingdom for a while, and the next stop was the hall of presidents. We were waiting inside, and she just threw herself on the ground, kicking and screaming. She said she wasn't tired, she didn't want to be comforted, so we let her be for a few minutes (sorry to anyone around us!) We entered the theater, took are seats, and she was asleep 5 minutes later. After that short nap, she was a totally new child.

Funny thing is, we were just going in so that my sister could have a dark spot to breast feed. We took care of 2 screaming kids at one time with that stop.

 

[Ephany]

My in-laws treated DD and our niece to WDW for their birthdays a few years ago. I couldn't go due to my exam schedules, but DH said DD had a major meltdown one day. She's usually really good in public and I'm convinced it was b/c of my in-laws insistence that everyone stay together all day. They refused to go back to the hotel during the afternoon b/c 'they had paid all this money and everyone was going to have a good time'. Yeah, b/c it's such a great time when you've got an overstimulated, exhausted 4 year old who just needs a nap throwing a major fit in the middle of WDW.

Needless to say after that, DH took her back to the hotel every afternoon after that and things went much smoother. When we go on our family trip in a few months, I've made sure we'll go back to the hotel every afternoon for some downtime. So what if we don't see everything we wanted to see in one trip? It's just another excuse to start planning our next vacation!

 

[mgilmer]

Don't worry about your kids having meltdowns ~ it's probably going to happen and it's really not a bother. Everyone understands the stress, heat, excitement and just plain worn out feelings.
Children misbehaving is the real problem.
There have been numerous threads on rude kids (& adults), I'd rather hear a kid throwing a tantrum than have one run over my child or me. Rudeness is upbringing, meltdowns are just from being overwhelmed.

 

[donaldndaisy]

The best way we used to handle this was taking frequent, ice cream breaks and giving him time to run around in the play area. Also, I would plan to take him back to the resort about 1 hour before his regular nap time (we would start heading back at 1 hour 30 minutes). This way he wouldn't get so fussy because of the heat, hunger and fatigue.

By the time, we would get our resort he would be exhausted. It always made things easier, if the room was clean, since he would only need to lighten the amount of clothing on him, give him a brief cool shower and put him down for a couple of hours. After 8 years, I still do this, even if ds and dh choose to remain in park

 

[preschoolmom]

if your child has a full meltdown at the back of the park, it could appear that you are just callously dragging your child around when all you are doing is trying to exit the park and reach your hotel

Thank you for this! My son is on the Autism Spectrum, and he threw a spectacular tantrum in Fantasyland, because he wanted McDonalds for lunch (I guess he saw someone with the fries they sell there???)... We walked quickly (my Husband, myself, pushing a double stroller with our twins) and I'm sure it appeared to everyone in Fantasyland, through the castle and on our way to Tomorrowland that we just have an awfully spoiled child.

It was a VERY LOW POINT for us. I've never seen so many people stare and glare at us. We just kept marching, and explaining to our son that we would get him lunch as soon as possible. (He was screaming, "I want McDonalds" as we walked).

Once we crossed into Tomorrowland, he was a new child. We had lunch at Cosmic Rays, and finished a lovely day in the park.

I'm sure everyone in Fantasyland thought he was spoiled and out of control -and that my husband and I were not "attending to his needs" - but I can assure you - we were very aware of his needs, everyone else's needs and handling it the best way we could.

 

[Maggie'sMom]

When I see a parent dealing with a child throwing a tantrum, I do try to give them a look, but it's one of empathy, compassion, and "been there, done that". I wish there was some universal signal for parents to offer sympathy and encouragement to other parents.