Children and temper tantrums at parks, misbehaving...

[falchion3]

I've not visited WDW yet, but I have been to plenty of other places. A child having a meltdown is only one behavior normally encountered. I can think of plenty of behaviors by adults which would cause me to be a heck of a lot more offended than a child crying.

Hear Hear. I've seen far more rudeness from adults that irritated me a lot more than any child's tantrum. As a matter of fact, I can't really remember any instances of meltdowns from my last trip, so any that may have happened didn't bother me enough to stick with me.

That said, the one bothersome thing I can remember are kids running wild. I don't know how many times I had to quickly slam on the brakes or else I would have run over a kid that saw fit to dart out right in front of me, running across the sidewalk. Some parents need to do a better job of controlling their kids and not letting them run all over the place. I would have felt absolutely horrible if I had trampled a kid who darted out in front of me like that, not to mention it would have ruined his and his family's day, having to take care of skinned knees, crying child, etc... And of course the way some people are nowadays, they would have blamed me for it rather than acknowledging their own negligence.

 

[donaldseeyore]

Yes, those wonderful beautiful tantrums that come out of nowhere at times. I feel the pain!

The first time we took our son to WDW he was 2 1/2. He loved it there. LOVED the characters, especially his Pooh (he has been sleeping with a Pooh, that was at one time a few inches taller than him, for almost 2 years). He LOVED LOVED LOVED the rides, even went on Barnstormer 5 times in a row. He didn't understand waiting in line. That is when the fit throwing began.

He wanted on the Pooh ride right now, he wanted to fly in the Blue Dumbo right now. Everytime we stood in line (even after 3 hour naps) he screamed, cried and pulled on us to move. We took him back 6 months later, and he remembered he had to wait his turn! That was a nice day.

 

[luvthemouse71]

I wouldn't worry about it..I don't think you see more tantrums at WDW than you would at home, at the mall. And there are plenty of grownups who have been known to have meltdowns too! My sister and I traditionally have one every trip, although we try not to make a scene. You may have seen us on one of the buses, both of us sitting there with arms crossed, and a full pout going on. LOL, we both have tempers but both of us have those kind of personalities where it blows over quick.

I think the heat and the sensory overload, and the fact that there's so much to do just can send people into a tailspin. This trip, I'm going to try the rest and swim in the middle of the day method. This may work out better for my dad anyway.

 

[RMulieri]

This sept will be my first trip with dd4.i long ago accepted this trip will be very slow paced .I can smell a tantrum coming long before it starts.She doesn't have them often, and not usually in a public place ( I think she gets embarassed), but she knows that once I smell it coming...all activity stops until she can maintain control.Whether that means time out on a bench, or leaving a prk entirely .Truthfully, in all my visits to wdw I see more older kids and adults throwing hissy fits then children...and the few kids I have seen, the parents were right on that behavior immediately.None of it ever spoils my trips though.

 

[JeremyGNJ]

I guess I have a morbid sense of humor but I'm actually chuckling and enjoying ever one of these tantrum stories.

While i Know it's horrible at the time, some some ways it's cute, amusing and endearing to see how just how passionate and irrational a child can get when they've had enough!!!

 

[PEANUT1]

I think this is a great thread...and I agree that as a parent we have all been there. My daughter was almost 4 the last time we went and she had one big meltdown at MGM. I plopped her down for a time out and even took a crying picture of her for posterity

 

[collcass]

That said, the one bothersome thing I can remember are kids running wild. I don't know how many times I had to quickly slam on the brakes or else I would have run over a kid that saw fit to dart out right in front of me, running across the sidewalk. Some parents need to do a better job of controlling their kids and not letting them run all over the place. I would have felt absolutely horrible if I had trampled a kid who darted out in front of me like that, not to mention it would have ruined his and his family's day, having to take care of skinned knees, crying child, etc... And of course the way some people are nowadays, they would have blamed me for it rather than acknowledging their own negligence.

I wouldn't have blamed you, but I cetainly would have had the child guilty of this. it is one of the things that truly drives me batty with my children. I've debated chaining (obviously exaggeratinfg) their arms to the grocery cart to keep the two of them from darting in front of people.

They are made to apologize to the person plus they get punished, but it never fails. As soon as we walk in they dart right out on front of me and around the corner (trying to go get a cookie from the bakery)

 

[twinspluscade]

I've not visited WDW yet, but I have been to plenty of other places. A child having a meltdown is only one behavior normally encountered. I can think of plenty of behaviors by adults which would cause me to be a heck of a lot more offended than a child crying.

Colleen, I read your post above about starting to think that WDW wasn't a very friendly place after reading the Disboards, and I just wanted to tell you not to let the boards make you nervous. . WDW indeed is a very friendly place, and the things some people complain about on Disboards, most people will not even notice or care about down there. .

When I was planning our first trip for Sept 2006, I got so worried that we'd do something "wrong" down at WDW and offend somebody, that my poor kids could barely make a peep in line without me quick telling them to "SHHHH!" . Seriously, after reading on Disboards about the myriad of things that offend people I was like the "PC police" with my family down there. It actually put a bit of a damper on our trip. So, when we went back again this past September, I lightened up a bit and didn't worry so much about what other people were doing or thinking. Not to say that I let my kids run wild (we're fairly strict with them in public; and they are all really shy anyway), but I didn't have a heart attack if they were talking a bit too loud in line or something. I just relaxed and went with the flow.

Oh, and I didn't see any major temper tantrums from kids on either trip (other than some minor crying). BUT I did see a grown man have a huge fit in Fantasyland: he was pushing a stroller (empty, thank goodness) and apparently got upset when his wife (??) was late in meeting him. He started loudly swearing to himself and then popped the balloon that was tied to the stroller. It was a strange moment, and I still wonder why he'd get so worked up over that.

Kelly

 

[ReneeA]

We were very fortunate to not have any meltdowns on either trip we took with our kids. They were 2 & 3 the first trip, and 3 & 4 the next one. I tried my mightiest to keep them on their schedule that they followed at home. Let me tell you - it's not the way I would like to have a vacation (they were up about 7 am every morning, we came back in the early afternoons for nap, and then had them back in bed by 8 almost every night).

I'm hoping our next trip - they'll be 5 & 6 - we'll be able to stay up late enough to catch the fireworks!!

 

[Uncleromulus]

The meltdowns at Disney (and we've seen a few since 1975!) that puzzle me the most are the ones where the kids actually start hitting or kicking the parents--and the parents seem unwilling to do anything about it.

 

[Maggie'sMom]

As the parent of a daughter who will hit and kick when she gets emotionally overwhelmed, I can tell you that I know I need to remove her from the situation and give her a chance to calm down. But that isn't always the easiest thing to do. I will pick her up and try my best to confine her arms and legs while I carry her somewhere for a timeout. I have gotten plenty of glares and stares, and I'm sure people were thinking "why doesn't she do something about that." Thing is, I am dealing with it. I just can't stop it without removing her from the situation.

Luckily for me, we didn't have any of those types of meltdowns in the parks.

 

[collcass]

Colleen, I read your post above about starting to think that WDW wasn't a very friendly place after reading the Disboards, and I just wanted to tell you not to let the boards make you nervous. . WDW indeed is a very friendly place, and the things some people complain about on Disboards, most people will not even notice or care about down there. .

When I was planning our first trip for Sept 2006, I got so worried that we'd do something "wrong" down at WDW and offend somebody, that my poor kids could barely make a peep in line without me quick telling them to "SHHHH!" . Seriously, after reading on Disboards about the myriad of things that offend people I was like the "PC police" with my family down there. It actually put a bit of a damper on our trip. So, when we went back again this past September, I lightened up a bit and didn't worry so much about what other people were doing or thinking. Not to say that I let my kids run wild (we're fairly strict with them in public; and they are all really shy anyway), but I didn't have a heart attack if they were talking a bit too loud in line or something. I just relaxed and went with the flow.

Oh, and I didn't see any major temper tantrums from kids on either trip (other than some minor crying). BUT I did see a grown man have a huge fit in Fantasyland: he was pushing a stroller (empty, thank goodness) and apparently got upset when his wife (??) was late in meeting him. He started loudly swearing to himself and then popped the balloon that was tied to the stroller. It was a strange moment, and I still wonder why he'd get so worked up over that.

Kelly

Thanks kelly. I'd actually made a list of 'things not to do". My DH ripped it up saying it is our vacation also so we are going to have fun and not stress about whether people look at me fuinny for allowing a 6 yr old in a stroller or get angry because I stop to take a photo or look at my map


Glad you had a uch better time when you went back and relaxed some.

 

[Snoozan]

I've been to WDW numerous times, with and without my kids. When they were younger, we were fortunate they weren't prone to tantrums. By the time my oldest was crankiest, he was like 17 so I let him go back to the room where he could be by himself, just like he wanted!

Honestly, when my DH and I see kids in meltdown mode, we say to each other "must be naptime" and giggle to ourselves that it's not us dealing with it. I feel for parents in this situation and really wouldn't judge them because we've all been there, done that!

 

[leahjade]

But you also have to be considerate of others around you. Some people would like to have a peaceful lunch and not hear the same child screaming for an hour or running around under your table. Sometimes you have to bite the bullet and take the child back to the hotel for a nap even if you feel you didn't get your money's worth out of the day! My kids each only had one tantrum ever in public - after being removed from the fun activity and having to wait in the car with me instead taught them a lesson. I know there are exceptions with certain children, but a lot of it is over-indulgent parenting.

 

[luvthemouse71]

I've seen some parents do a really cool thing...instead of getting embarassed or yelling at the child, I saw this mom just stand there with her arms crossed, staring at the kid with a completely straight face, then she just started walking away. The child, who was about 5 or 6, couldn't believe it. He stopped crying, got up off of the floor, and just meekly followed his mom out of the store. I wanted to clap for that mom!


I remember thinking, I so want to be that mom someday. I think sometimes when it looks like the parent isn't doing anything about the tantrum, it's because they don't want to "play into" the tantrum. After all, many times the kid wants to embarass the parent(ie. if I holler long enough, she'll buy me that toy just to shut me up) and they're trying to get all the attention they can. Those little buggers sure can be devious!

Disclaimer: Obviously, I'm talking about kids who don't have any sort of problem..I'm aware that kids who have autism or other such disorders can't help the meltdowns or overload. I give the parents of these kids all the credit in the world because on a day to day basis, it must be hard enough. Throw in all the extra stimulation you get at WDW, and it must be overwhelming.

 

[Disneylvr]

As the mother of an autistic child, I would ask you to please consider that when a child is melting down, they may not be badly behaved, the may have special challenges; and that when a parent seems to be "not dealing with a tantrum" they may actually be doing what is most appropriate for the child.
Nicole

Thank you for saying this!

 

[larryz]

This is our first trip and I am very scared of one of my children having a meltdown.

Are your kids prone to meltdowns in shopping malls or at county fairs? If not, I wouldn't worry about it. Keep them hydrated and moderately well rested. Just plan your day so the urge for key events (potty breaks and naps) doesn't hit while you're in line for Philharmagic... a tantrum there will be shared by many, many people.

In my experience, though, you're more likely to get sympathetic looks than derisive ones. You may even get help from those around you...

 

[EMom]

A big part of this is "knowing your kid." Granted, WDW is an experience like no other, but you've probably had a glimpse of what overexcitement and overtiredness can do to your child.

We were lucky because DD was not prone to meltdowns. She had a few in her day, but usually only because too many factors were thrown in, such as she was also sick, Grandma kept wanting to bring her friends over to show off DD even though DD was too tired and sick to be adorable, there had been a recent time change.....these played havoc with her, we were staying at someone else's house, she had to stay up past her bedtime, etc. It tooks LOTS of those added together to bring on one of her rare meltdowns.

Her pattern is to run herself ragged with unending energy and then pass out as soon as the motion stops. She could do WDW from 8 a.m. until 10 p.m. or later without pausing, but as soon as we get into the car or a bus, she will be asleep and DH will have to carry her comatose body back to the hotel. For my part, I think we got off lucky.

Had she been prone to meltdowns, I'd never keep her out that long. We have friends who can predict the arrival of a meltdown. Some do things to avoid it (naps, breaks, etc.) and some just keep forging ahead right into the path of the tornado. Some little kids can only take so much assault on their senses. And unlike mine, most get worn out. It is the rare child who can go from early morning until late at night without negative behavior popping up in some way. And that's to be expected. It's asking too much of them.

When I see a parent dragging a kid in the process of a meltdown (mini or grande) through WDW or someplace similar, going on and on about how this is their vacation (and oh no....how they've spent $X on it) and they child WILL have a good time and quit whining, crying, etc. it makes me shake my head. Usually, the kid has been "set up for failure" if the parents are expecting perfectly behaved children. Also, kids that age have no concept of what a vacation costs. They'd be just as happy at the kiddy pool.

And if the kids are melting down, yes people are going to stare and/or shake heads. They have no idea if the kid is autistic and the parents are doing the best they can or if the kid is being dragged around for 10 hours by parents who will not give the kid a chance to rest like a 4 y.o. needs to, thereby making everyone around him miserable or if junior throws fits on a daily basis and his parents have just learned to tune him out and expect everyone else to do the same. And, as someone said, they want to eat a meal without listening to a screaming child for the entire time.

It's tough for everyone. I really saw very few meltdowns. The ones I stare at are when I hear parents speaking very harshly to the child and it's clear they have unrealistic expectations of a small child. That irritates me. That doesn't necessarily mean they should ignore the meltdown. I've seen parents deal with them calmly and effectively. And yes, removing the child from a restaurant or a show is called for sometimes. No one wants to be the one with a fit-throwing kid, but it happens sometimes.

A year or so ago, we were with a family who turned out to have the meltdown fit-throwers for kids. For the first time, we were the group that people stared at in a restaurant thinking, "Those parents need to get those heathens under control." I was mortified, as was DH and DD. And you know what? I can't blame the other patrons. I had never seen anything like it. It happened everywhere we went. No autism to attribute it to, just a complete lack of discipline. And yes, I am sure "we" messed up the evening for other diners near us on more than one occasion. Subtle hints to behave fell on deaf ears. Oh well.....WE were mortified, as I said. The parents were blissfully unaware that anything was amiss or that anyone was in the least irritated. At some point, I believe the waitress would have tipped US to leave.

 

[lustergirl]

I am prone to a meltdown and am already grown- ha!!!

 

[lizzytizzy]

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