Child support wage reporting.

[DisneyBamaFan]

In all fairness, you live in northwestern NJ close to Delaware. That's hugely different than living in northeastern NJ abutting NYC.

Agreed, but my home costs more than $500k and my taxes are over $12k/yr. Before we moved here, we lived on Long Island. MY NJ office is in Parsippany, and my previous NJ office was in Morristown. I understand N. NJ expenses all too well.

I do agree with you on all the rest of this, though. Quite frankly, if you have children together, you put the children first. But no one should use them as pawns in a power struggle.

Agreed.

 

[gina2000]

Agreed, but my home costs more than $500k and my taxes are over $12k/yr. Before we moved here, we lived on Long Island. MY NJ office is in Parsippany, and my previous NJ office was in Morristown. I understand N. NJ expenses all too well.

I'm not "picking" on you but 12K in taxes in NJ is pretty average and 500K won't buy much in several counties despite the decline in NJ real estate. I also figure you own a large for NJ piece of land. I say that because people across the US don't understand 50x100 land parcels that are all too common in the older towns of eastern NJ.

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

I'm not "picking" on you but 12K in taxes in NJ is pretty average and 500K won't buy much in several counties despite the decline in NJ real estate. I also figure you own a large for NJ piece of land. I say that because people across the US don't understand 50x100 land parcels that are all too common in the older towns of eastern NJ.

That's cool, but I also lived on Long Island. We can compare what I owned/paid there if you wish. My only point was that I understand.

We bought way out here so I could have a small mortgage and have more land.

 

[gina2000]

That's cool, but I also lived on Long Island. We can compare what I owned/paid there if you wish. My only point was that I understand.

We bought way out here so I could have a small mortgage and have more land.

Nah, I'm just cranky (too much Christmas Eve prep) and taking it out on you. Sorry.

Have a good holiday.

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

Nah, I'm just cranky (too much Christmas Eve prep) and taking it out on you. Sorry.

Have a good holiday.

No need to apologize.

 

[sparklynails23]

Great assumption.

I am the OP and the guy I was asking about, DID NOT TOSS his kids away.

Some facts:

His EX is the one who wanted the divorce. As previously posted, she married beneth her station. She is an educated nurse who married a truck driver. She is now married to her former employer - the Dr she worked for when she filed for divorce. He loves his kids, just not her.

He pays - and pays dearly - in support. His weekly support amount is $310.00. She is an RN and works in her husband plastic surgery practice. But according to the records she has submitted to the courts, she only makes $400.00 a week.

On top of the weekly support payment, out of his check he has to provide health insurance, vision insurance, and dental insurance to the tune of $225.84 cents a week. This is above what he would have to pay for himself on the health insurance and not taking out vision or dental. In the 5 years that he has worked here, she has used this insurance ZERO times, but he needs to keep providing it because they may need it.

On top of this, he is also responsible for all of the cost before the deductable is met on the insurances. He has to pay for 1/2 of all the other out of pocket medical expenses. Which he fully agees that he should be paying.

Also, he is responsible for 1/2 the expenses for anything that those kids are active in. And those kids are in multipule activities.

By the time, he gets done paying for all of this every month, he is left with on average $150.00 a week - as I said in the first post OT is not a weekly thing. Some weeks, its more, others less. But for average once he is done paying out to the EX, he has 600.00 with which to pay rent, utilities, buy gas, make a car payment, buy car insurance, and get food. His family is not from here, so there is no family he can stay with. Don't know about friends.

So, I do feel for this guy who is getting screwed by the system. He gets 600.00 to live on, while the "kids" are getting $1240.00 + 903.36 that is down the tubes for the insurance cost.

And while I don't have to tell you any of you this, this man to save money lived in his car from May to early Nov because he could not afford rent and to cover his kids activties. With the cold weather setting in, he is now at a men's shelter. His pride is gone, but he is still working to keep his kids living.

Why are you privy to all this info about a guy at work? If it's because you work in HR, then that's private information and shouldn't be shared with the public. That health insurance is ridiculous if it's the increase in family over individual. He should look for a private plan instead of the one at work. I would suggest that he go back and petition the courts for a reduction based on the fact that his ex is an RN (if she is, if she's not $400 a wk might be ok) and working for less than she could and to set a limit on extra-curriculars. Otherwise, $310 a week is ok child support, especially because we don't know how many kids there are. Even though the wife has remarried a doctor, they are still the truck driver's kids. Bottomline, it's been explained many times that your HR director did the right thing.

 

[tvguy]

Why are you privy to all this info about a guy at work? If it's because you work in HR, then that's private information and shouldn't be shared with the public.

Totally off topic.....but......Human Resources? That was the first department companies eliminated out here in California when economy tanked.
Everyone contracts now with outside Internet based companies to handle benefits,and pay. And work place complaints....have no patch to be heard.

 

[sparklynails23]

Totally off topic.....but......Human Resources? That was the first department companies eliminated out here in California when economy tanked.
Everyone contracts now with outside Internet based companies to handle benefits,and pay. And work place complaints....have no patch to be heard.

Wow. I feel bad for you. Payroll is the big area for outsourcing around here.

 

[Allison]

Why are you privy to all this info about a guy at work? If it's because you work in HR, then that's private information and shouldn't be shared with the public. That health insurance is ridiculous if it's the increase in family over individual. He should look for a private plan instead of the one at work. I would suggest that he go back and petition the courts for a reduction based on the fact that his ex is an RN (if she is, if she's not $400 a wk might be ok) and working for less than she could and to set a limit on extra-curriculars. Otherwise, $310 a week is ok child support, especially because we don't know how many kids there are. Even though the wife has remarried a doctor, they are still the truck driver's kids. Bottomline, it's been explained many times that your HR director did the right thing.

I agree-sharing child support information and other details about someone from your place of employment is completely inappropriate.

 

[kiddo76]

Great assumption.

I am the OP and the guy I was asking about, DID NOT TOSS his kids away.

Sorry, I wasn't really talking about him, since, as you said, he did not leave his children. I feel for him, I really do, especially since he is sticking it out and trying to do the right thing. I also agree that sporadic OT shouldn't really count against him. I think what previous poster have said, where the income is reviewed annually and the child support is adjusted accordingly, sounds more reasonable to me.

I do agree with the PP that you should be careful what you post on the internet. I'm totally not being snarky. I work in payroll and know you have to be really careful about what confidential information you put out there, even when you don't mention a person specifically by name. Messages boards aren't always as anonymous as we think they are. I also work for a municipality and always have to balance employee confidentiality and the Freedom of Information Act. It's not always easy.

Your dad had an ex (your mother) that LET him do that. That is the key you are missing. Your mother sounds like a REASONABLE person, the mothers that I and a lot of the others ate talking about are not.

Oh, I totally get that. Which is why I said I'm not impressed with any of these parents (moms or dads). Dads totally have the right to fight what they think is an unreasonable amount of child support, especially when it causes them to be unable to take care of themselves. Now, if we are talking about dropping the first kid because they can't take care of their second family, that's another story. They can fight all they want, but don't dump the kid. Would they walk if the child had huge medical bills to pay? Or a child with emotional disabilities that can make life a living nightmare? Just like those cases aren't the child's fault, neither is a money grubbing mother or one who's emotionally disturbed.

Mother's also have a responsibility to not rake the dads over the coals and too treat the ex respectfully.

 

[cheermom1]

Sorry, I wasn't really talking about him, since, as you said, he did not leave his children. I feel for him, I really do, especially since he is sticking it out and trying to do the right thing. I also agree that sporadic OT shouldn't really count against him. I think what previous poster have said, where the income is reviewed annually and the child support is adjusted accordingly, sounds more reasonable to me.

I do agree with the PP that you should be careful what you post on the internet. I'm totally not being snarky. I work in payroll and know you have to be really careful about what confidential information you put out there, even when you don't mention a person specifically by name. Messages boards aren't always as anonymous as we think they are. I also work for a municipality and always have to balance employee confidentiality and the Freedom of Information Act. It's not always easy.



Oh, I totally get that. Which is why I said I'm not impressed with any of these parents (moms or dads). Dads totally have the right to fight what they think is an unreasonable amount of child support, especially when it causes them to be unable to take care of themselves. Now, if we are talking about dropping the first kid because they can't take care of their second family, that's another story. They can fight all they want, but don't dump the kid. Would they walk if the child had huge medical bills to pay? Or a child with emotional disabilities that can make life a living nightmare? Just like those cases aren't the child's fault, neither is a money grubbing mother or one who's emotionally disturbed.

Mother's also have a responsibility to not rake the dads over the coals and too treat the ex respectfully.

The last part has been my point all along. Which is why I understand when some men walk. I did say that I wasn't taking into count for children with disabilities and such.

However I do know the difference between a dead beat dad (mom) or one that has done everything he/she could possibly do and still not making it. Most of the divorced moms I know will not co parent or do anything that will help out their ex to help their child no matter what. All they want to do is take their ex (the father of their children) and rake them over the coals so bad that they can't fight back or have no where to turn all the while using their children as pawns. But they keep saying it is the kids, I have pointed it out to as many as I can that it is only hurting the child. And all the while these moms are doing this they refuse to let the father even see their kids but expect them to pay and pay and pay!

I know one mom that even went so far as to have someone beat her up and try to say her ex did just so her ex couldn't see the kids but still screamed that he needs to pay.

I could go on with all kinds of examples but I'll leave it there. my question is how can you expect a person to keep taking all that abuse and still live or be able to move on? I'm not talking about just money but of course that is what motivates these women to do these things. It is a power play with their kids and the father finally has enough and just wants the suffering on their children to stop. So the easiest way that some see an end to it is to walk.

Now do you get it? I mean this in general.