Child molested in bathroom

[janette]

I think sometimes we do so much to guard against strangers that we lose sight of some important facts. Although these type of cases are the kind that chill us a public bathroom is not where our children are most at risk.

Approximately 90% of offenders are known to the children. In addition, a child is 3 times more likely to be molested by a recognized, trusted adult than by a stranger. 50% of child victims are molested in their own homes or in the offender's home.

Sexual Abuse Facts

Teach your children that it's okay to scream. Teach them that there is nothing they can't tell you. Teach them that it is never okay to keep an adults secret.

 

[Mskanga]

Janette, sometimes that is not possible , and other times you just don't know how kids are going to respond to the situation, you may teach them to scream and kick , but in the situation they can go into such a state of shock or fear that they may not be able to make one sound or move.
I prefer to take the children to ladies room with me, and whoever has a problem with that, they have a bigger problem than I do.

 

[janette]

I'm not saying don't take the kids into the bathroom with you. I have no problem with little boys in the girls room. I just think sometimes we can give ourselves a sense of security when the real danger isn't the person waiting in the bathroom but the guy down the street, cousin, BIL or host of other people our children come in contact with every day.

 

[FreshTressa]

MsKanga-

You are soooo right. People are always giving me that advice....Just teach your children what to do.

But, kids don't always do what you teach them. I remember being a little kid and my mom saying 'never take candy from a stranger, etc., over and over, and what did I do?? I accepted some gum from a strange man at the park. I knew better. Luckily it was totally innocent, but when I think back, I realize how dangerous it was and how I just totally ignored my mom's advice.

On the news the other day a little girl in our area was almost abducted. She too did what she wasn't suppossed to. The mom on the tv just kept crying over and over that I tought her so many times what to do in that situation, and she didn't listen when she really needed to.

I think it is great to teach kids how to handle themselves in situations, I teach my kids. BUT, I also know that it is ultimately my responsibility to keep them safe.

 

[GAIL HAYDEN]

While it may be true that 90% of sex offenders are known to the kids, I simply would not risk my child finding that 10% that are off the grid. Those odds, IMHO, stink. Great for gambling, very poor for your child's safety.

 

[Pete's Mom]

Originally posted by GAIL HAYDEN
While it may be true that 90% of sex offenders are known to the kids, I simply would not risk my child finding that 10% that are off the grid. Those odds, IMHO, stink. Great for gambling, very poor for your child's safety.

Speaking as one of those children that was in the 10%, I could not agree more!

 

[mcnuss]

Say you have your 8,9,10, or so year old son with you and YOU have to go to the bathroom.

First of all, I have a girl, so I guess I am lucky not to have to deal with this one... But in response to the above, it depends a lot on where you are and how old the kid is, and if there is just 1 or more. For instance, I would not leave an 8 yo outside all alone, but some 10 yo's I would, depends on the kid and the place. If I was nervous, I'd tell him to stand right outside my stall so I could see his feet! (BTW - that's what I do with DD too, if the place makes me nervous; she can't go wash her hands until I am done, too.) That also would help avoid the peeking problem so many are worried about.

But since I've never had to deal with this, I asked DH what he would do about DD9. The men's room is obviously worse for a girl than the women's is for a boy... He says he tells her to go into the entry way of the ladies room and wait for him there, not to budge until he calls for her. So many of them have the little seating area that it works out ok. Pretty clever, if you ask me. It's sure better than standing alone in a hallway or outside.

 

[d-r]

Originally posted by alabamaalan
My situation is opposite of most of yours. As a father, I sometimes have to take my daughter with me into the men's room.

Problem one is that there is usually only one or maybe two stalls in a men's room in varying states of cleanliness.

She is 6 now and I have only had to take her a few times; usually my DW is with us when we shop so she can take her to the women's room, but it does happen on occassion.

I cover her eyes as I walk in with her and go to a stall with her.

I'm glad you posted this. I was wondering what fathers of daughters do - I can understand women taking young boys in to the bathrooms, because it is all stalls in there, but I wasn't sure how fathers of daughters handled it. I don't think I've ever noticed a father bringing in a daughter while I was in a public restroom.

It also occurs to me - and this may be off track - but most of the time I've been to a men's room in the theme parks they have been pretty active and busy. There are a lot of dads in there with their boys, older boys, and guys without the kids. It seems to me that this sort of situation is safer for a medium age kid to go in than a very quiet seemingly almost empty bathroom - like safety in numbers, and lots of eyes to look out for something weird. They always seem busier than a mall bathroom or something like that. I've also been in theme park bathrooms when a TON of boys like a school group comes in there without an adult with them.