Chickens' Jackin' My Style...7/9 Generic Cereal

[Mrs. The King]

Oh my dog. We're back. I'm still knee deep in unpacked luggage. I'm amazed that we had the vacation we did. My trip report notebook is full. Mr. The King took over 1600 pics. I looked for Biscuit but didn't see him.


I took my sleep medication 3 hours ago. But I wanted to hold my place. Pee on my tree. Tie a ribbon on the Christmas tree.

How about a roll call of previous King report survivors? You are a hardcore bunch with a strong stomachs and a wild sense of humor.



Get on board and grab a drink....

Chapter 1... Nuggets and Fingers

Chapter 2....Showgirl Husband

Chapter 3.......Generic Cereal

 

[teriyaki]

Yayyyyyy!
I clicked on this TR because the title caught my fancy and then I saw it was by my idol, the one and only, MRS. THE KING!!!!!
My anticipatory delight knows no bounds

I hope you had a fantastic vacation, but I do admit to hoping there were a few minor fiascos that will be described in true MTK fashion. Rest your jellybags, but start this TR as soon as you can. Laundry can wait. It's summer--no one needs clothes.

Can't wait!!!!

Laurie, Official Silent Groupie of MTK

 

[pixleyyy]

I'll pee on your tree... ok, maybe not. But I will be waiting to hear all the juicy details.

 

[GreatBiscuit]

Permission to come aboard Cap'n! Welcome home! I can't wait to hear all the sortid and flatulent details! I kept an eye out for you guys as well, but looking for "an extra jiggly jiggler" was just not enoug intelligence to go on. Plus it's not an easy task to try to explain to ones spouse that you need to perform a Jiggler evaluation on those who pass by.

I'm subscribing, marking my spot, and anxiously awaiting the first episode.

 

[Backstage_Gal]

I was reading along on GB trippie and saw he was going to catch up on yours. What????????????? No new link in your siggie
So I had to come in search of MTK on the board, and Lo and Behold, it has started

Marita checking in for reading and laughing duty!!!!!!!!!

So now I am properly subscribed.....

 

[dallastxcpa]

Okay you and your groupies are either TOTALY INSANE or I am in for a wild and fun ride, kind of like Rockin Rollercoaster.

Anyways you have peeked my curiosity so I am going to find your previous trip reports and read (instead of cleaning my house )

 

[bedillamouse]

I'm on board for another wonderful MTK report!!!! Ohhh I may not be an able to go to WDW this year but with a report from MTK and the Biscuit at the same time I'll be living thru you guys!!!!

 

[NAB]

Marking my spot too!!!!

 

[Mrs. The King]

Chickens’ aren’t jackin’ my style. No one jacks it really. I honestly wouldn’t mess with chickens nowadays. They have nuggets and fingers. Besides being flipping delicious, I wouldn’t want to be a chicken hunter. Or a chicken farmer, because poultry must look freaky. And they could give you the finger.

I snagged this title from the Boom Boom Pow song by the Black Eyed Peas. Well, it’s what I think Fergie says, but it is quite possible I got it wrong. Ask me if I care?

I don’t. I hear that song and I get the Jiggler (my butt) doing the M.C. Hammer move and we are too happy to listen to lyrics.

Anyway. Disney. We went there again. Man, they know how to do it. Disney makes you realize that all other businesses, fun spots and carnivals are just pretending. Pretending to be Disney.

We had an EPIC vacation. It was truly our best one yet.

Let me give you the cast, for anyone who doesn’t know exactly what the Jiggler’s farts smell like yet.

Mr. The King ~ 34, married and absolutely happy. (I tell him that everyday so he doesn’t get any great ideas.) He was recently appointed Assistant Principal of a local Middle School. I am very, very proud of him. He has been a Special Education teacher, focusing on emotionally disturbed kids (read chair throwing, spit slinging, cursing children.) For 13 years he has been making a difference one child at a time. He is truly the most patient individual I have ever met.

Prince Charming ~ My tall 10 year old son is a phenomenal person. He is so incredibly good. Golden spirited. He follows rules, tries so hard and makes honor roll. PC is screamingly smart. This seems like I’m being a typical mom bragging on my child, but I’m just being factual. He is a wonderful human being. I can’t believe I get to be his mom.

Princess Stitch~ Funny little name for a seven year old, Don’t cha think? Well remember how good my boy is? Well PS has taken after her mother. She has a mischievous streak. I love that in my girl, though when you find all the Barbies with their hair cut off, it can be hard to remember. She is gorgeous. PS’s huge green eyes have the longest lashes I have ever encountered. She loves animals and to feel their fuzzy bodies. Magic is still very much alive for her. She can swim in a pool until it closes down. Did I mention we are all wrapped around her finger? We are. For sure.

Grandpa. Married to my mother for 39 years. Six months into his well deserved retirement, we finally get to have him for the entire vacation. In the past he has had to fit in work around our visit. Not this time. He is also a seasonal character greeter for Disney. He and PC have almost the exact same temperament. Exceedingly wonderful. He is very delightful company and is always in a great mood and willing to laugh.

Grandma What can I say about my mom that hasn’t already been said? She is hilarious. She is a spitfire. Grandma looks like everyone’s vision of a happy Grandma, except she is like a little pitbull. Lord help you if she has her mind set on something. She was born and raised in The Bronx (so was my Dad) so the thick accent adds to the appeal. She is also a character greeter.

And for the first time ever!!! We have my in laws joining the cast.
My in laws are fabulous.

My MIL and I would have been fast friends even if I wasn’t married to her son. We like so many of the same things. Books, shows, etc. Her day job is working in a residential home for kids. (If you read Poughkeepsie she actually is Mrs. D. ) We can’t wait to get our evil Disney claws into her.

My FIL could probably have a conversation with any damn person he met. He has such a wide base of knowledge, but is never showy about it. He also works in a residential home for kids, doing the intense, demanding job of helping kids that may be beyond saving. He is interested in photography and I am trying to get him to join the disboards. I think the photography board is a great place to learn and show off a bit.

So that’s us. In a huge nut shell.
These loving, sweet people are going to be subject to me. Can you imagine? Poor guys.

Mrs. The King ~ I’m first a mom. I stayed home with the kids until they were both in school. I’m now allowed to follow them into school because I signed up to be a substitute teacher. And despite the stigma attached, I take immense pride in my job. I also write fanfiction for Twilight, and I’m having a ball doing it.

We have three crazy dogs. Peanut, Snowy and Spike. They will be at home with a sitter.

We were due to leave for our Epic adventure in the wee hours of June 19th. The children could not get to sleep. I was too antsy to sleep. I have made my insanely detailed lists and checked them all off. Mr. The King wanted to leave at around 2:30am for our long drive.

When his alarm went off, I was right there saying, “We are ready to go.”
So we were going to be making great time.
In the hullaballoo before we left, I took my sleep meds by accident, around 1:00am.

So Mr. The King’s fateful, loving partner was knocked out in the passenger seat.

I did try to stay awake, because I know those hours are tough.
But my lids kept closing. Mile after mile passed, and I would drag myself back to consciousness and try and be entertaining. In my glimpses I noticed Mr. The King was dealing with thick, heavy fog. And apparently a deer convention.

Fog and deer, Fog and deer, then I would pass out.

I wasn’t making a whole lot of sense when I came to, but I guess that was the entertaining part.

I spent most of the morning snoring and choking about Bambi. By the time the drugs wore off, we were in South Carolina.
So the hubby was a successful driver and I was not successful at much of anything.

We only had about 9 hours of driving left. Easy Peasy.

Up Next: We keep freaking driving. And Great Biscuit stole my vacation. (don’t tell him, he doesn’t know it yet)



P.S. Happy 4th of July!!!



Chapter 3.......Generic Cereal

 

[Mrs. The King]

Yayyyyyy!
I clicked on this TR because the title caught my fancy and then I saw it was by my idol, the one and only, MRS. THE KING!!!!!
My anticipatory delight knows no bounds

I hope you had a fantastic vacation, but I do admit to hoping there were a few minor fiascos that will be described in true MTK fashion. Rest your jellybags, but start this TR as soon as you can. Laundry can wait. It's summer--no one needs clothes.

Can't wait!!!!

Laurie, Official Silent Groupie of MTK

Hey Laurie!!!! I am so glad the chickens grabbed your fancy. That sounds bad. My jellybags are so dry and droopy, just like the Jiggler. I am so stinking glad you are here

I'll pee on your tree... ok, maybe not. But I will be waiting to hear all the juicy details.

Oh the details will be more juicy than most sensible can handle on a full stomach. My tree loves pee!! Thanks for hopping on!

Permission to come aboard Cap'n! Welcome home! I can't wait to hear all the sortid and flatulent details! I kept an eye out for you guys as well, but looking for "an extra jiggly jiggler" was just not enoug intelligence to go on. Plus it's not an easy task to try to explain to ones spouse that you need to perform a Jiggler evaluation on those who pass by.

I'm subscribing, marking my spot, and anxiously awaiting the first episode.

You make me I looked for your green T's but gosh nibbles it was crowded. Wasn't it? I am so glad we have tandem reports up. How cute is that? It will be synchronized trip reporting. Slap on a bathing suit and a rubber head cap thingy.

I was reading along on GB trippie and saw he was going to catch up on yours. What????????????? No new link in your siggie
So I had to come in search of MTK on the board, and Lo and Behold, it has started

Marita checking in for reading and laughing duty!!!!!!!!!

So now I am properly subscribed.....

Hey Baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You make my heart warm. I will update my siggy now that you spanked me about it.

Okay you and your groupies are either TOTALY INSANE or I am in for a wild and fun ride, kind of like Rockin Rollercoaster.

Anyways you have peeked my curiosity so I am going to find your previous trip reports and read (instead of cleaning my house )

The groupies are insane. have no fear. Good luck with those other trip reports. I still can't believe no one flushed them down the toilet.

I'm on board for another wonderful MTK report!!!! Ohhh I may not be an able to go to WDW this year but with a report from MTK and the Biscuit at the same time I'll be living thru you guys!!!!

I will try and give you every detail. It was wonderful. Thank you for jumping on!

Marking my spot too!!!!

NAB!!! I already had a blanket down for you.

 

[My2Qtz0205]

Yay! I'm a pretty quiet poster, but I am definitely HERE!

 

[Mrs. The King]

Yay! I'm a pretty quiet poster, but I am definitely HERE!

Hey cutie! Welcome. I like quiet ones too

 

[Mrs. The King]

As you can clearly see, Chapter 1 was wildly popular. A big shout out to My2Qtz0205, that’s one hell of a screen name.

Before I go any further, I need to do a quick curse check. I need to see what gets filtered out here at the dis.
Hell
Damn
Crap
***
****s
****
*********Q****** <---You want to know what that one is, don't ya

Ok. That’s good to know. Limits me, but I should be able to still express myself. A little.

Now let’s reverse this trip report and talk about the pre-trip rigamarole.
Here at the King home we had the ending of school, which has more events than a Queen’s Coronation. Each event requires a smiling parent with a pre charged video camera and a thumbs up. I attended some events where I was the only parent at freaking all.

The first graders in PS’s class had a poetry reading and a play they put on for kindergartners. It’s all recorded in signature Mrs. The King style, where I press pause diligently during important time capsule moments. During the down times I make sure the camera is in the record position and we get great footage of the camera bouncing off my hip and the industrial floor tiles in prison friendly colors.

And I worked my butt off. Every full time teacher wanted off to attend to their own child’s events. Mr. The King was busy basking in the importance of his new job assignment. This time period, I think, will be his most favorite, before he had any actual duties.

God, I love the word duties.

I was also making hand made T-Shirts for each of our party members.
Oops. I love the word members too.

A grand total of 8, each done in sections so they could dry before I flipped them over to do the backs.
Throw in writing my story, ironing clothes, making lists, packing agh!!

On the day before we left, I signed up for a free CPR/First Aid/AED course that lasted all damn day. The stress of all the things that I needed to do culminated in an attractive lip pimple. Lucky freaking me.
The new stress was now trying to figure out how to tell a perfect stranger (that I would have to share a CPR dummy with) that the pimple was in fact harmless.

“Hi, My name is Mrs. The King, nice to meet you. Oh, yes I am a substitute teacher. This? This here on my lip? No! No, it’s not herpes. I promise. You can trust me, sure!” (I have had farts that have lasted longer then our whole acquaintance).

Imagine my relief when I found out they had enough dummies for everyone. Well really, they are not dummies anymore. They are just white molded heads with the facial expression of Edvard Munch’s “The Scream” and a bib that pretends to be their chest. It’s a charming thing to wrap your lips around.

Did I mention the back of his head is flat like a pancake?

It is.

So if I come upon your lifeless form, I may just have to flatten the back of your skull a little. Pipe down! What do you care? You’re unconscious anyway.

Now the course itself lasted from 8am-4pm which is a long dang time.
During that time period, Mr. The King was doing some preparations. These included self tanner use. We were rocking some serious farmer’s tan, so to even that out he applied the fancy tanner I had purchased. My cell phone was off at the CPR class, so he did not have a chance to voice his displeasure. The tanner was also a bronzer with teeny tiny glitter in it. By the time I got home, Mr. The King looked like a Las Vegas showgirl.
It worked really well too! The tan was even and he had quick results, so I refused to buy another.

So back to the driving, My new husband, Shiny Mrs. Sparkle pants was doing his DUTY!! By driving us through every state. My mother would call the cell phone every 15 minutes to tell me how excited she was and that she “couldn’t breathe.”

Mom gets a little crazy when the grand kids are coming to visit. She adores them as they do her. She loves having us all in her little slice of Florida heaven.

In fact he was so excited that the night before she accidently took two of her blood pressure pills and found herself calling poison control at 2am. They were helpful and she was fine.

The other impulse she gets is to cook, she pulls out her Culinary Dark Arts book and starts whipping up delectable treats that may or may not set off the smoke alarm or kill you for that matter.

The best rest stop on the whole trip is the Florida welcome center. They put it right in the beginning of the state where it belongs, not in the middle where it makes no sense at all. (I’m looking at you Georgia.)

You make the important decision between grapefruit or orange juice and you swipe some Disney brochures. You ignore the tacky Universal pamphlets that always have that creepy Mummy guy.

After a long night and day we pull into Grandma and Grandpa’s driveway. The vacation begins.
Did I tell you what the shirts said? On the front:
Let it Begin!
On the back I recreated the Disney font and wrote:
Dad 2009
Or Mom 2009
Or Grandma 2009
Etc.

I will see if Mr. The King will post a pic for you!
So we were almost there. The following morning we would leave to check in at All Star Music. Oh My Dog!!!
(Yes, GB still stole my vacation, but I will wait until later to tell you how.)




Link to Revenge of the Kings, a pre trippie

 

[Mr._The_King]

I will post pictures of the shirts but none of my special sparkling tan (which looked about as realistic as the cgi vampires in the first twilight movie Mrs.TK forced me to see).

My Mom (Nonnie) and the kids (kids)

Let it Begin!

 

[oregonmommyof2]

I am here and very excited for this report... I could use something entertaining to kill the time before my trip...

 

[NAB]

She's back!!!

I just love your writing style. And I thought I was the only one that used the word rigamarole.

Love the shirts. I guess we will have to use our imaginations on the tan. That could be worse you know.

Hopefully you did not have to use your CPR skills on this trip. Just think now you can save lives. I am sure they taught you never to do it on a bed like the doctor did on Michael Jackson.

 

[dallastxcpa]

I finished your July 2008 trip report this morning and have caught up on this one..... And I would just like to say .... I can quit reading anytime I want..... REALLY I can.....


Okay I'm in for the ride.

 

[andrews1ma]

Ok I'm in ! going back to read now! Oh and welcome back

 

[andrews1ma]

still on pg 1 but had to post a few things quickly:

#1 - whew! glad I chose the word "Crap" in my last post cause apparently thats on the "allowed" list
#2 & # 3 together- the word Nuggets is used in our house to cleanly refer a certain set of "members" that my DH and DS own

Just had to share- going back to read on!

 

[whogirl'smom]

Hey! I'm so excited to see the new trip report!