Cheerfully child-free. Anyone else?

[Hixski]

I know a woman who had period-like, um, symptoms for her entire pregnancy. And my MIL did so too, her entire pregnancy with DH...neither of them knew quickly that they were pregnant because of it. Weird as it is, it can happen!


I saw the thread title and just wanted to jump in to offer support to those who have chosen to be childfree! My brother and SIL made that choice in college. OK actually my brother made that choice even as a child- he just never got along with anyone younger than he was, and I think SIL was just waiting for "permission" to go that way, b/c she hadn't thought of it before, but went along with it happily as soon as they got serious. Relatives have given them a hard time, especially since they were married at 22. They got the "oh you'll change your mind" thing countless times, but never from me! I knew my brother and knew that he really didn't like kids all that much (so it's good he doesn't have them, LOL) and if he says he'll do or not do something, you can bet your life he's going to follow through. That said, they are lovely as uncle and aunt to my kiddo, and they love him very much, though he does create an overwhelming feeling of "OMG thank goodness we made that choice" in them. And they are 35 now, and still no changes of heart (especially now that my guy is 3 and they can see how crazy kids can be!).

Anyway, support support support to all of you!

Thanks!!!!!

As you can imagine we DON'T get much support, especially from people that do have children. Some such as yourself understand that the world is not a one size fits all place.

My brother lives at home with my parents and is 44. Nobody has ever given him trouble about not getting married or having children. (He would be the one to carry on the family name) I am married and have been for 22 years. I have heard more from strangers about how my parents would never be grandparents.......HELLO.......I have a brother that is not having children either.

DH and I were always fence sitters. When nothing ever happened was when we made the decision not to have children. We just decided that we probably never wanted them that bad. Being that we are in our late forties now at least everyone has given up on us. FINALLY!!!

Here is a link to another thread that seems to get more traffic than this one.
http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=914101

 

[2bemarried]

Hi all....

DH and I had a great Christmas. We spoiled each other and our three kitties.

Do you all have big New Year's Eve plans? We're going to dinner at a Japanese steakhouse and then coming home to watch the ball drop

 

[goofygirl]

My Christmas was great!


I actually started Xmas in November by getting myself a "big" gift. It's a new computer, and I'm using it right now.

My old computer was so slow and old that I couldn't download music or burn CDs, so I'm just now learning to do all that!

At work we had 3 different parties during the week and a pollyanna.

My tree had been up since Thanksgiving and shopping was done early, so I got to kick back until Xmas Eve. I had Xmas dinner with my mother and then we went to my church's service from 10pm to midnight. I was one of the readers at church and very nervous! It was great though. I dressed up in a green and black velvet dress. I lost enough weight this year to look good in it. It was a beautful service with singing Silent Night by candlelight, it was a special night and just perfect and it ended about 11:50. At midnight, we decided to go to the big Catholic church around the corner and go to the midnight mass! But in the middle of that service I was falling asleep while I was kneeling! We didn't get home until about 1:30 and did not go to bed til 2am. I fell asleep watching tv.
Xmas Day all the gifts were opened and I got my girls cat toys and Fancy Feast Medleys- they love that.
I got gift cards, pajamas, candy, a scarf, games, decorative items, Disney stuff, candles and other things I can't think of!

And it's not over- my friends are coming over New Years and we are exchanging gifts then. One of my friends is giving me a fax machine for free, she doesn't want it and she asked me if I wanted it. So I said, sure I'll take it!

 

[Aunt Michelle]

Hey guys! Just checking in to see how everyone's holiday was... Was Santa good to everyone? I got spoiled, as usual. This no-kid thing means I get more goodies! And Zoe was, of course, spoiled as well, from me and DH, from both sets of grandparents, and from aunties and uncles.

I am hoping that 2008 is a better year than 2007, but I surely can't complain. I was just reading about another poster putting her hubby on a plane to war - makes my problems seem small, you know?

I'm a little sad today. One of my employees at the pharmacy died a year ago today - a 24 year old girl who left behind a husband and a 3 year old little boy. She had a blood clot in her brain that moved, causing multiple strokes and irreversable brain damage. I still can't believe she's gone. She only worked for me for about 6 months, but for some reason she really touched me. She often said that I was like her sister, always looking out for her and helping her to succeed. Life is short.

Now that I have successfully bummed myself out, I am going to bed. Hope to hear from everyone soon!

Hello! Christmas was good. The girl cats bought me a lovely pair of diamond hoops! I don't know how they managed that one.. My DS1 kids that they must be independently wealthy. So, Zoe finally got back to her normal self, I had more blood work done and the levels look fine, blessedly there seem to be no lingering impact of her near death experience. I, on the other hand, was so traumatized that I adopted the cats a kitten for Christmas. He's very kittenish, Siamese, adorable. The girls still don't like him 100% of the time. His name is Sully .
I gifted DS2 and her family with 6-day MYW tickets for a trip in May. My nieces, (11), (8), and (6) have never been so everyone is looking forward to it. Bean (the 6 year old) is counting off the days.
Lisa - I'm sorry to hear you had some sadness in your life.
Ok, that'll do it for tonight, I am finally winding down from my Patriots induced high and should be thinking about bed!

 

[goofygirl]

Hello! Christmas was good. The girl cats bought me a lovely pair of diamond hoops! I don't know how they managed that one.. My DS1 kids that they must be independently wealthy. So, Zoe finally got back to her normal self, I had more blood work done and the levels look fine, blessedly there seem to be no lingering impact of her near death experience. I, on the other hand, was so traumatized that I adopted the cats a kitten for Christmas. He's very kittenish, Siamese, adorable. The girls still don't like him 100% of the time. His name is Sully .
I gifted DS2 and her family with 6-day MYW tickets for a trip in May. My nieces, (11), (8), and (6) have never been so everyone is looking forward to it. Bean (the 6 year old) is counting off the days.
Lisa - I'm sorry to hear you had some sadness in your life.
Ok, that'll do it for tonight, I am finally winding down from my Patriots induced high and should be thinking about bed!

Your cats have great taste

That's so cute that you got a kitten, I hope they all get along good!

Lisa, sorry about your employee/friend. It is shocking when someone dies young, and bad when it happens around the holidays.

 

[LisaZee]

Michelle, I'm glad that your Zoe has recovered - I bet you're looking forward to less drama in 2008, huh? I will, however, be sending my Zoe over to your house to visit with your kitties, and hope that their gift-giving habits rub off on my baby!

Goofy, sounds like Santa was good to you! I totally cracked up when you talked about falling asleep while kneeling. 8 years of Catholic school and I can truly empathize with you... hee hee.

I plan on being so lame for NYE. I am off, the spouse is working, so I have been put on laundry duty. Glamorous, huh? What's even more exciting is that I am sitting up watching Diamonique on QVC for four hours. DH and I did go to the movies today, though - we saw "National Treasure", Nic Cage is so hot. He's not quite Matthew McCaughne-HEEEY, but easy on the eyes nonetheless. Tomorrow night we'll probably watch the DVDs we got for Xmas - Harry Potter 5 and Pirates 3. We used to be so cool when we were dating - going downtown Chicago, to the clubs, out all night on New Year's Eve. Now I hate to pay to spend the night somewhere when it costs me 1/30 of my mortgage to sleep in my house every night! haha.

 

[Aunt Michelle]

Michelle, I'm glad that your Zoe has recovered - I bet you're looking forward to less drama in 2008, huh? I will, however, be sending my Zoe over to your house to visit with your kitties, and hope that their gift-giving habits rub off on my baby!
QUOTE]

You would have thought that, but with the kitten we have a lot of drama! Put Zoe on a plane... - seriously though, I'd trade the cat gifts for a DH anytime!

Happy New Year everyone! Be safe. May the new year bring all sorts of good things, new adventures, and new friends.

 

[goofygirl]

I'm not into going out NYE either, I never was. Instead, I stay home and invite friends, enjoy a glass of wine, chit chat and watch the ball on tv. My cats love company. They walk around and smell everyone and "ask" to be petted.

Lisa, was National Treasure as good as the first one?

 

[luvwinnie]

Hi all, just wanted to say Happy New year. Hoping 2008 is better than the end of 2007 for us...we lost our beloved bulldog, Winnie, in Sept. and a few weeks ago we found out Tigger, our 11 1/2 yr old has chronic renal failure. We had good news too though, of course...we adopted Hooch, a 3 yr. old bulldog who had been severely neglected. He's a real sweetie. Wishing you all of the best.

 

[Indianadisneyfan]

Count me in. The best thing is, I can go to WDW anytime and don't have to worry about the kids being in school when the park is less crowded lmao: I know it is never not crowed ).

 

[LisaZee]

Michelle, how about I send over the DH instead of the cat. I swear, sometimes someone ELSE can take him!

Goofy, National Treasure 2 was entertaining. The plot was really similar to the first, but the scenery was good and I really liked Helen Mirren. How that woman has the perky ****s of a teenager at her age are beyond me, btw. (not that I noticed but DH pointed them out!) I am clearly doing something wrong! But I would recommend the movie. It had lots of good action and I found myself backing up in my seat and putting my hands over my eyes. Next for me is "I Am Legend" with my boyfriend Will Smith.

Luvwinnie - I am so sorry about your loss this year. I followed the thread about your baby a few months ago. BTW, I love the name "Hooch" for your newest addition.

Indy, have you ever gone in September? Free dining, plus the kids have JUST gone back to school so it's pretty quiet.

Happy New Year to everyone!

 

[2bemarried]

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[goofygirl]

National Treasure 2 was entertaining. The plot was really similar to the first, but the scenery was good and I really liked Helen Mirren. How that woman has the perky ****s of a teenager at her age are beyond me,

By the way, Helen Mirren is childfree! Probably why she has perky ____s! No breastfeeding, LOL!

 

[Fitswimmer]

George Clooney had something interesting to say about choosing not to "replicate". It was an interview with Diane Sawyer and I remember thinking how well I understood him.

DIANE SAWYER: Even some of your friends have said now he's going to wake up and say, "Children!"
GEORGE CLOONEY: Children, get married?
DIANE SAWYER: Yeah.
GEORGE CLOONEY: My friends said that?
DIANE SAWYER: Yeah. I saw upstairs, you know, you have pictures of kids.
GEORGE CLOONEY: Oh, yeah. I actually have several children. I just don't tell people. Nine illegitimate children that are running around. I got a beautiful niece and nephew. I'm godfather to a bunch of great kids who are here most of the summer.
DIANE SAWYER: But that has to be in that moment where you are looking at the finite nature of life that you say, "Why didn't I? Why haven't I?"
GEORGE CLOONEY: I think that most people think that. You know, most people feel that way. And they have no understanding about someone who has no thought like that. There isn't anything in me that wants to replicate. I believe in all of those things, in a way, but I don't necessarily think it has to be from my loins. And I always find that it is such a great responsibility that I thought it was something I couldn't just do half-arsed.

 

[PhotobearSam]

George Clooney had something interesting to say about choosing not to "replicate". It was an interview with Diane Sawyer and I remember thinking how well I understood him.

I could not agree more. So many people say "Don't you want a little Richard or Samantha running around? "

NO, I have never yearned for that. If you don't yearn for kids, you should not have any.

I have always wondered of the people who want kids if they actually feel like if they don't, it's painful.

I always see people on Oprah and other shows that are desperate for kids, and I CAN'T Relate...I have no concept of their pain except if someone told me I would have to get rid of my Cats...I could never. They are family.

Thanks for the Clooney Quote

 

[goofygirl]

George Clooney ROCKS!

Sam, I know what you mean by you can't relate to people who can't have them, I can't relate either. I especially don't understand the people who take it to extremes, who are so desperate for a baby they will cheat on a spouse to get pregnant, or lie to a partner about birth control, or leave a partner, or let themselves get thousands in debt from fertility treatments, until they act all bitter, angry and miserable . Being obssessive about ANYTHING is unhealthy, yet obssessing for a baby seems perfectly acceptable in our society.

 

[Fitswimmer]

George Clooney ROCKS!

Sam, I know what you mean by you can't relate to people who can't have them, I can't relate either. I especially don't understand the people who take it to extremes, who are so desperate for a baby they will cheat on a spouse to get pregnant, or lie to a partner about birth control, or leave a partner, or let themselves get thousands in debt from fertility treatments, until they act all bitter, angry and miserable . Being obssessive about ANYTHING is unhealthy, yet obssessing for a baby seems perfectly acceptable in our society.

My best friend's sister got married because she wanted a baby. She said wouldn't do artificial means because she's Catholic. She admitted that she really doesn't love the guy and the sad thing is he ADORES her. All she wanted was the baby. She was over 40 and if she didn't do it soon she wouldn't be able to do it all. So she used this guy to get her baby and now she's using him to pay for it.

I can not get my head around that-I heard her say it and I just can't fathom wanting something that bad that I would use someone that way.

 

[luvwinnie]

My best friend's sister got married because she wanted a baby. She said wouldn't do artificial means because she's Catholic. She admitted that she really doesn't love the guy and the sad thing is he ADORES her. All she wanted was the baby. She was over 40 and if she didn't do it soon she wouldn't be able to do it all. So she used this guy to get her baby and now she's using him to pay for it.

I can not get my head around that-I heard her say it and I just can't fathom wanting something that bad that I would use someone that way.

How incredibly sad. What about when the kid grows up and moves out?

 

[Fitswimmer]

How incredibly sad. What about when the kid grows up and moves out?

I don't think that ever occured to her. Her entire focus was "must have a baby". It was kind of scary to me, really.

 

[2bemarried]

George Clooney ROCKS!

Sam, I know what you mean by you can't relate to people who can't have them, I can't relate either. I especially don't understand the people who take it to extremes, who are so desperate for a baby they will cheat on a spouse to get pregnant, or lie to a partner about birth control, or leave a partner, or let themselves get thousands in debt from fertility treatments, until they act all bitter, angry and miserable . Being obssessive about ANYTHING is unhealthy, yet obssessing for a baby seems perfectly acceptable in our society.

We've spent two years doing fertility treatments and when we ran out of money I said enough is enough. I'm done. We're happy with each other and we'll remain child-free. I will not use up every bit of savings to pay for a child and then not be able to provide for he/she.