Cell Phones for Teens / Tweens.....

[descovy]

I often wonder, after reading these threads, if my mother was ever "nervous" or "worried" or lived without "peace of mind," as so many on here have claimed.

When I was 12, I had long sports practices, rode my bike all over creation, went to friends' houses, etc. The same as kids do today. I didn't have a cell phone.

As to the whole "safety" issue, I don't think there are any more safety issues today than there were years ago, just more media.

My DD & DS aren't at that age yet, but I see how my 14 year old niece and her friends abuse their cell phone privileges and it really sours me on the whole thing.

I also don't buy the whole, "texting is how kids communicate." They don't have to. It's only that way because they're being allowed to do that. When kids can't even communicate face-to-face anymore, what does that say about us? As a society we are forever moving towards isolating ourselves through technology, and it kind of saddens me.

I'm a huge tech junkie (work in I.T.), but the whole cellphone/texting allure escapes me.

Tell me about it... my dd10 was at a birthday party a few blocks away. I was out when the party started and dh let her walk over. It was supposed to be over at 4pm, so at 4:15 I call the mom to see if dd is still there.

hostess..."Yes"

Me... "oh, can you send her home? (we had relatives visiting from out of town, that we wanted her to spend some time with)

Hostess... (laughing) "oh don't worry, I would never do THAT to you!!!"

Me... "no, really, it's okay, she can walk 3 blocks home."

Mind you, this is inside a subdivision... no busy streets. And she's 10!!!

I think a lot of people are afraid to be percieved as a "bad" parent and keep being as over-protective as they think the rest of the group is. We have kids who at 1st-2nd grade parents met them at the bus stop and walked them home (some even drove home from the bus stop, whatev...) Three years later these kids are 4-5th grade and parents are still picking them up from the bus stop. Why??

Two years ago, my neighborhood got a second stop closer to my house, so we stopped going to that original stop. Would you believe NO PARENTS (of the big kids) meet the bus in the afternoon? The kids (gasp!) walk a block home BY THEMSELVES! But since the precident was set at bus stop #1 three years ago, mommies of 10 year olds meet the bus, drive 'em home

 

[Mickey's Minion]

I also don't buy the whole, "texting is how kids communicate." They don't have to. It's only that way because they're being allowed to do that. When kids can't even communicate face-to-face anymore, what does that say about us? As a society we are forever moving towards isolating ourselves through technology, and it kind of saddens me.

You don't have to buy it, but that doesn't make it any less true.

Just like my work will send out global e-mails to arrange staff meetings, kids have embraced the technology to easily and quickly arrange get togethers.

I wonder, did you ever spend long hours in your room with the phone cord stretched around the corner and into your room, (Or a private area) to talk long hours with your friends? That wasn't face to face either.

I am around middle schoolers every day. I have not witnessed any degradation in conversation skills. The lunch room and halls are very loud with kids talking animatedly with each other.

I haven't lost my ability to boil a pan of water either just because I also have one of those newfangled microwaves.

 

[Aisling]

I got my kids cell phones when they were 8 and 14, without internet. It was just after 9/11, and I'm not ashamed to say I was a helicopter mom. They're older now, so I'm less of one these days. Also, I felt that modern technology offers another form of communication, and in my mind that's good. It works for my family. They have unlimited texting, and it's ok with me. And they still know how to red and write on paper.

 

[rszdtrvl]

I have the TNT phone too. That is why I got one for my son. It works great for me, and is easy. I upgraded from a K9. I hated worrying about bumping a number or accidentally calling someone. I don't use mine too often, but like people being able to reach me anywhere, anytime.

I was going to mention also that I asked my son how many kids in track have cell phones, and he said that about 95% of them have cell phones. And I was also going to say that my son doesn't even know his cell phone number. I am sure I will need to have him write it down or stick it on his phone or something until he memorizes it (I have told him several times what it is, but he doesn't really care enough to write it down). But that goes to show how often he has given out his number (never....).

 

[Mrs.Toad]

I often wonder, after reading these threads, if my mother was ever "nervous" or "worried" or lived without "peace of mind," as so many on here have claimed.

When I was 12, I had long sports practices, rode my bike all over creation, went to friends' houses, etc. The same as kids do today. I didn't have a cell phone.

As to the whole "safety" issue, I don't think there are any more safety issues today than there were years ago, just more media.

I do think parents are more protective these days in general. When I was 8, I would ride my bike with my friends a mile down a major boulevard, to the beach, where there was no lifeguard, go swimming for hours, then ride back home. Very few parents would let an 8yo do that today, and those that did would get CPS called on them.

I don't think my parents worried, either. They also didn't worry that I never wore a bike helmet or a seat belt in the back of the old Falcon station wagon. Now that we have these modern conveniences, why not use them to make us a little safer?

 

[Colleen27]

I often wonder, after reading these threads, if my mother was ever "nervous" or "worried" or lived without "peace of mind," as so many on here have claimed.

When I was 12, I had long sports practices, rode my bike all over creation, went to friends' houses, etc. The same as kids do today. I didn't have a cell phone.

As to the whole "safety" issue, I don't think there are any more safety issues today than there were years ago, just more media.

My DD & DS aren't at that age yet, but I see how my 14 year old niece and her friends abuse their cell phone privileges and it really sours me on the whole thing.

I also don't buy the whole, "texting is how kids communicate." They don't have to. It's only that way because they're being allowed to do that. When kids can't even communicate face-to-face anymore, what does that say about us? As a society we are forever moving towards isolating ourselves through technology, and it kind of saddens me.

I'm a huge tech junkie (work in I.T.), but the whole cellphone/texting allure escapes me.

I think if cell phones were available and affordable, many of our parents would have bought them for peace of mind or convenience, just as parents do today.

I agree that the world hasn't gotten more dangerous. The only thing that really has changed that supports the use of cell phones is the lack of payphones. When I was a kid, if plans changed I'd just call my mom from the nearest payphone. Now I live in a town that doesn't even HAVE a payphone except at the neighborhood bar and at a gas station/truck stop outside of town.

I think like anything else, cell phones in general and texting in particular have value in moderation but can be overused. I agree about technology leading to isolation but really the TV is responsible for more of that than anything else (the average American watches 140+ hours per month ) But to me, that's not a reason not to have those distractions; it is just a warning to monitor their use and be aware so that they aren't taking over our lives.

 

[Scurvy]

I often wonder, after reading these threads, if my mother was ever "nervous" or "worried" or lived without "peace of mind," as so many on here have claimed.

When I was 12, I had long sports practices, rode my bike all over creation, went to friends' houses, etc. The same as kids do today. I didn't have a cell phone.

As to the whole "safety" issue, I don't think there are any more safety issues today than there were years ago, just more media.

My DD & DS aren't at that age yet, but I see how my 14 year old niece and her friends abuse their cell phone privileges and it really sours me on the whole thing.

I also don't buy the whole, "texting is how kids communicate." They don't have to. It's only that way because they're being allowed to do that. When kids can't even communicate face-to-face anymore, what does that say about us? As a society we are forever moving towards isolating ourselves through technology, and it kind of saddens me.

I'm a huge tech junkie (work in I.T.), but the whole cellphone/texting allure escapes me.

No, of course they don't have to communicate that way. We don't have to use email or the internet to communicate, either - we could call people up one at a time to tell all the team parents which game they've been assigned to bring snacks for. We could still send a self-addressed stamped envelope to a cooking show in order to get the recipes they are using this week instead of looking on the show's website. We could buy guide books to plan our vacations instead of using websites like the Dis. We could type everything on typewriters like our parents did, retyping each time we make a mistake, instead of using computers. There's no reason we have to make use of modern conveniences . . . but it's awfully nice to be able to do so!

I grew up just fine without a cell phone, and my son could also. But he doesn't have to. And frankly, if they'd been available when I was young I probably would have had one, because it would have made my parents' lives easier. I do have the option of giving my son one, and so I choose to because it makes my life easier and as a bonus it also makes him happy.

Regarding the bolded - that isn't a cell phone problem, it's a kid problem. Or maybe a parenting problem. Not all children abuse their cell phone privileges. While cell phones can be abused - just like TVs, computers, land line phones or just about anything else - that isn't a problem inherent to the phones themselves. If those kids' parents don't like the behavior then they need to do something about it.

 

[ksumn1]

we just bought my 11 year old Dd a cell phone when we changed carriers 2 weeks ago. She starts middle school in the fall and of course, activities. She hopes to make the softball or basketball team, and wants to join choir and band. Since we live further out than most of her friends, if practice ends early, it takes me a little longer to get there. last year this happened and another parent I knew well let her ride home with them but DD "forgot" to call and tell me. I called the coach, who called the parent, who finally called me. I didn't really mind, would have said OK but I was freaking out for aout 10 minutes there.

That's why DD has a cell phone, along with the fact that she was the last of her friends to get one. she's pretty busy with ball practice, sleepovers and afterschool stuff and I get a peace of mind knowing I can get in touch with her. And I would much rather her text than having the phone ring every 20 minutes with one of her friends calling to ask "What are you doing?"

 

[Planogirl]

DS didn't at that age. I felt it was best to wait until he was in high school but then he was a little careless with his things.

 

[SunshineOR]

I did want to point out that there is something different than when many of us grew up. When I was a young teen, just getting some independence to be dropped at the mall for an hour with my friends or something public without my parents by my side, I had a way to communicate with them in an emergency or necessity--pay phones located all over the place. In my day, my parents did not send me with a cell phone, but they always made sure I had the correct amount of change to make a phone call to them, if necessary. Is there really a difference between a cell phone that I send with my kids and the correct change my parents sent with me for calling from a pay phone?

We swore we were not going to have cell phones and neither would our kids and blah blah blah. However, when it reached the point that I either could never find a pay phone or the only pay phones available were in creepy dark corridors in the back of the mall, we changed our minds and got cell phones and have one our kids use at a much younger age than I originally imagined. If my child for whatever reason ended up in a situation and needed to contact me quickly and didn't know anyone well enough or wasn't comfortable asking to borrow a phone, it would be pretty difficult for them to find a public telephone to call me. That is one of the strong reasons we've joined the cell phone revolution and our kids will have a cell phone when they go places.

 

[ckay87]

OMG, the whole "I didn't have xxx when I was a kid and I survived" get SOOOO old. It makes you (general "you") sound so old, in fact.

You know my grandparents and even my mom used to go pee in an outhouse when they were kids but they survived. Many of our Amish neighbors do not have electricity or cars today and they survive. There are a million of these examples.

My kids have cell phones because they are fun and convenient. Yes I said it. We have no other reasons nor do I believe we need any. They have bikes because they are also fun and convenient. Bikes not an expensive enough example? Let's go back to the electricity and running water examples.....

Humans will, by nature, forever seek new, faster and better ways to communicate and this is one. Get used to it

 

[Mrs.Toad]

We could still send a self-addressed stamped envelope to a cooking show in order to get the recipes they are using this week instead of looking on the show's website.

Oh, I had forgotten all about those SASEs, but I remember them well. I also remember coming in to the office really, really early to call people many time zones ahead of us. Then we got fax machines and we'd fax them a letter and have a faxed response back the next day. Then we got email and it was even better! I know, I'm an old fart, but I can't imagine not embracing technological advances that make our lives easier.

Another nice thing about texting is that it's silent, so it doesn't cramp your kids' style when you text them when they're with their friends. My dd will text me that she loves me, or she'll answer immediately if I text her a question or a time to come home. No one has to know it's her mom she's talking to. A phone call gets a few grunts in response.