Cell Phones for Teens / Tweens.....

[luvmy3]

sure, you're their parent and and such you can deprive or spoil them of whatever you want.

However, this isnt an issue of buying them a $10 toy from Target to make them happy.

A cell phone (especially in today's world of cell phones) is usually both a high $ item and one that comes with likely comes with internet access and the ability to text. Either of those things can open them up to a whole world that IMO they really dont need to be having such easy to access to.

For people that have kids that need them due to practices and the like, do they run at random times? Here practice / scout meetings and the like run from a start time to and end time. They typically dont run long or end early by more than a few mins and we know up front if they are going to end at 7 / 7:30 or whatever.

My dd 12 has a cell phone, its a Virgin Mobil phone and cost $30. It costs her $15 a month for her plan, she works around th house to pay a portion of that herself. She has had a phone since she was 8, we had an issue at her summer camp where the counselors were calling parents at the wrong number and my younger ds was there with asthma and I wanted to make sure my dd who was older could get ahold of me immediately. The understanding was that the phone was used for emergencies only, until this year. She is allowed to text and call her friends, that is just how today's youth communicate. When I was a kid it was writing notes and tying up the home phone for hourse, this is just how it is today. Is it needed, yes sometimes, my dd has drama and softball, her phone allows her to contact me whenever she needs to without having to rely on someone else, thats a comfort for me. Is it also a want, sure but my dd is a good kid, great grades and I see no reason to not indulge her wants sometimes as long as they aren't outlandish and in this day and age a cell phone is not.
My dses do not have one but I am considering it for my middle ds, he is 10. He does martial arts with my younger ds and sometimes I have to drop them off nad drive dd to her practice. If he needs to reach me, he could use their phone but having his own cell would make it easier, again thats a need for me. He doesn't care to much to have one, he has never asked but if he got one his rules would be a little different from dd's who is older. I don't see any problem with kids who have phones, the problems come when they have them and the are allowd to use them without restrictions.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

We got my older dd a cell phone in 6th grade because she was going to be babysitting her sister, plus she had afterschool activities and hello....my life is not about to be spent waiting in a parking lot for her stuff to be over with. She would call me when she was done. She is now 19 and in college.

My youngest got a cell in 5th grade because we were moving and were going to be with out a landline for many months. She is in 7th now and really does not care about it however we make her take it with her when she goes out with friends or stays after for school stuff.

 

[golfgal]

sure, you're their parent and and such you can deprive or spoil them of whatever you want.

However, this isnt an issue of buying them a $10 toy from Target to make them happy.

A cell phone (especially in today's world of cell phones) is usually both a high $ item and one that comes with likely comes with internet access and the ability to text. Either of those things can open them up to a whole world that IMO they really dont need to be having such easy to access to.

For people that have kids that need them due to practices and the like, do they run at random times? Here practice / scout meetings and the like run from a start time to and end time. They typically dont run long or end early by more than a few mins and we know up front if they are going to end at 7 / 7:30 or whatever.

They don't have to be a high priced item. DS17's Droid is the first phone we actually "paid" for and had internet access on. DD15 got a Chocolate Touch with internet access on the phone for her birthday in March up until then they had basic phones. DS15 didn't want a phone with internet access so he got one without. And, yes, practice times/places often change due to weather and a host of other reasons. I took today off to help drive DD's golf team out for a practice round where they are playing their conference meet but that was canceled because of the lovely 40 degrees and rain and most likely they won't have any practice at all today but we won't know until the end of the day as the weather may change.

My dd just turned 13 and has a cell.

Texting is a primary way of communicating at this age. In fact, as my dd gets older, I get more and more texts from other moms. Just about every month, another mom drops phoning and texts instead. This past winter, her basketball coach texted the team about changes in schedules. (Ok, that didn't work out too well, but that's because she forgot about the fact that texting the child doesn't mean that the parent knows to drive the kid there. My dd missed two re-scheduled games, as did a couple other girls, before the parents asked her to text us, not them! )

My dd was home sick yesterday and was able to text classmates (she HATES talking on the phone with a passion and always has) to catch up on assignments.

I MUCH prefer getting a quick text that the game will be at 5 instead of 6 vs a phone call. DH was very anti-texting until we got him a phone with a full keyboard and now will text before calling. I wish you could opt out of the phone call part of a plan and just get texting as our kids MAYBE actually get or call someone on their phone once a month, maybe.

When my niece was getting her first phone between 7th and 8th grade my sister wasn't going to get her texting. I talked her into getting it for her DD and for her and her DH. She said she will never use the texting, I laughed. Other than DH I get more text messages from her than anyone. At DD's golf tournament last week the parents were texting up a storm keeping everyone up to date on how all the kids were playing. It was pretty funny actually.

 

[zachnsamsmommy]

I am the lone 'other' vote, so I thought I'd explain...

We don't have a home phone, just our cell phones. That made me quite uncomfortable for when/if we needed a babysitter, or emergencies. We got a third cell phone that is somewhat a house phone.

But we let DS, who is 9, take it with him to use when he is at a friend's house or gone to his grandparents. He thinks of it as his phone, but he really only gets it a small amt of time.

 

[tink_lover]

Dd got a phone for her 11th bday. I had an old phone from when I upgraded to a blackberry and I just activated that for her. Many nights, dh and I are going in three or more different directions and it is a way for all of us to keep in touch. Between choir practice, violin practice twice a week, soccer, hockey, swimming lessons, tutoring afterschool - it is nice that she can get in touch with me when needed. I didn't think it was that big a deal. The world my children are growing up in is very different from the world I grew up in.

 

[mjkacmom]

sure, you're their parent and and such you can deprive or spoil them of whatever you want.

However, this isnt an issue of buying them a $10 toy from Target to make them happy.

A cell phone (especially in today's world of cell phones) is usually both a high $ item and one that comes with likely comes with internet access and the ability to text. Either of those things can open them up to a whole world that IMO they really dont need to be having such easy to access to.

For people that have kids that need them due to practices and the like, do they run at random times? Here practice / scout meetings and the like run from a start time to and end time. They typically dont run long or end early by more than a few mins and we know up front if they are going to end at 7 / 7:30 or whatever.

The phones were free, and I have internet access blocked. You will probably find, as your ds gets older, that practices end at random times, either early or late. Once they get to Little League here, practices NEVER end when they are supposed to.

 

[stepmommyof1]

Ok well not exactly in the age bracket, my stepson is 15 BUT he doesn't drive yet, however he has had his own cell phone since he was about 10 or 11 (which is way before I even knew them- we just got married months ago).

His dad gave him absolutely no rules with it.

When I found that out, I tried to...well, I have not been married to his dad long enough to really give stepson "rules" but I have talked to him a little bit about safety issues, and he seems pretty receptive to what I say since I'm still young myself (I think sometimes he listens to my advice more than he listens to his dad, because his dad is older and I'm still relatively young, lol. Yeah, there's a big age gap between my hubby and me).

 

[jazzielady]

I chose to get my older daughter her first phone (a firefly) at age 10. She had been nagging me for a phone, and my response had always been a resounding NO!!

Then a week before her birthday, a 10 yo. girl was abducted and killed in Oklahoma (I think - was a midwestern state). I started to think that if that little girl had had a phone, she would have had a better chance for survival.

My younger daughter got one for her 9th birthday.

 

[Scurvy]

sure, you're their parent and and such you can deprive or spoil them of whatever you want.

However, this isnt an issue of buying them a $10 toy from Target to make them happy.

A cell phone (especially in today's world of cell phones) is usually both a high $ item and one that comes with likely comes with internet access and the ability to text. Either of those things can open them up to a whole world that IMO they really dont need to be having such easy to access to.

For people that have kids that need them due to practices and the like, do they run at random times? Here practice / scout meetings and the like run from a start time to and end time. They typically dont run long or end early by more than a few mins and we know up front if they are going to end at 7 / 7:30 or whatever.

My son's phone was free with the purchase of our other phones. Though honestly I would have payed full price for it - I wouldn't consider most phones to be high $ items. Maybe my perception is skewed because we as a family are very into tech gadgets and video games. But since phones often cost less than American Girl Dolls, a set of those Zhu Zhu Pets or even sports equipment, I still don't consider them an unusual expense for a child. It wasn't very expensive to add an additional line to our plan and I consider it money well spent. He doesn't have internet on his phone and though he does have texting, I think he has sent one text to a non family member in all the time he's had a phone. He has to ask permission before giving the number to friends and rarely talks to anyone but family on it.

We bought my son his first phone to take on his first band trip out of state. He's had a phone ever since (and has gotten a new one since then), though we have to remind him to keep it charged. He uses it after band practice, which often runs very late, and to let us know when the buses get to school after field trips and band trips. The fact that he has a phone has made my life easier, and it's made me feel better about him being away from us on trips since I know he can contact us when he needs to.

 

[golfgal]

I am the lone 'other' vote, so I thought I'd explain...

We don't have a home phone, just our cell phones. That made me quite uncomfortable for when/if we needed a babysitter, or emergencies. We got a third cell phone that is somewhat a house phone.

But we let DS, who is 9, take it with him to use when he is at a friend's house or gone to his grandparents. He thinks of it as his phone, but he really only gets it a small amt of time.

Did you know that there is some kind of "regular" phone you can buy where you can dock a cell phone and your "land line" phones will ring so your extra cell can become your landline? It won't work when your DS takes the phone. I would love to do this and dump our landline but we already have 5 phones on our plan (the max). When DS17 is done with college and on his own plan, I will do this for us.

 

[NHdisneylover]

Does your young teen / tween have a cell phone and if so why?
Where exactly are these kids at, without an adult of some sort present, that they need their own cellphones for to call people??

Yes. My kids are 11 and 13. Both have cell phones. They had one to share (meaning whoever was going somewhere without us had it at the time) when they were 4 and 6 and have had their own phones since they were 7 and 9 I believe.

My kids take a train and then a street car home from school. Sometimes trains run late, or they leave school early (no subs here--if the last teacher of the day is out sick they just dismiss the kids early) and the kids check in to let me know when to expect them, etc.
At 13 DD also often calls to say she is going to stop by the library with a friend, do some shopping, etc before she comes home.
Both kids also get to activities (karate, ballet, etc.) on their own on the street cars and buses. DS got turned around once and got on the wrong tram and called to ask me to call the studio and let them know why he would be late.
Today there was a field trip to the zoo for the new German speakers. The kids were dismissed from the zoo. DD called to ask if she and DS could stay at the zoo a while and then go for ice cream before coming home.
DS also calls to check with me when his asthma is border line (meaning either hi peak flow is a little too high to take the inhaler but he feels like he needs it OR he took the inhaler and his peak flow went up some but not as high as it should) and ask what i think he should do. He likes using the MP3 player on his phone rather than always carrying his iPOD as well

Even if they did not have a valid "need" for a phone, I think kids whose parents are willing to pay for them should be able to have one just for the heck of it if they want it and it does not interfere with school, etc. Lots of things kids have are not needs. No kid NEEDS a DS. Personally I do not like portable game systems (I only this year fianlly got a game system for the house at all) and do not have them for my kids but I do not judge other parents who feel differently about them Same could be said for many, many other gadgets. Why is it that so many people think cell phones for kids must be justified but rarely apply that logic to any other gadget?

 

[The Mystery Machine]

sure, you're their parent and and such you can deprive or spoil them of whatever you want.

However, this isnt an issue of buying them a $10 toy from Target to make them happy.

A cell phone (especially in today's world of cell phones) is usually both a high $ item and one that comes with likely comes with internet access and the ability to text. Either of those things can open them up to a whole world that IMO they really dont need to be having such easy to access to.

For people that have kids that need them due to practices and the like, do they run at random times? Here practice / scout meetings and the like run from a start time to and end time. They typically dont run long or end early by more than a few mins and we know up front if they are going to end at 7 / 7:30 or whatever.

Heck yea. In elementary school it was cut and dry however starting in middle school it is a different story. Last minute meetings and oh mom btw, I have to stay after today for ___________. And they are telling you this that morning.

Plus they start hanging out with friends in public and frankly by then you are thinking, thank goodness they have a cell otherwise you would go insane.

 

[luvsJack]

dd (11) has one and has for about a year. I like for her to have a phone with her when she goes to friend's houses because most do not have land lines. When the kids go to the movies or skating or something, there are no pay phones available so its useful then to. And of course softball practice, dance lessons and showchoir practice are all times she needs a phone also (and our practice times are rather radom)

As for all the things that can happen with phones--just like with facebook, phones should be monitered. Texts can be read if the parent feels the need (I don't do this unless I feel there may be a problem going on) and of course pictures can be looked at constantly. Dd has texting, she does not have picture texts and no internet access (I don't think phones need internet access--they just need to ring and have sound) Her phone was free and her bill for talk and text is 19.00 per month of which she pays half.

 

[NHdisneylover]

My first post was without reading the rest of the thread so as to not be swayed. i see many others brought up the same points. I figured I will take a stab at answering some more of your questions.

sure, you're their parent and and such you can deprive or spoil them of whatever you want.

However, this isnt an issue of buying them a $10 toy from Target to make them happy.

A cell phone (especially in today's world of cell phones) is usually both a high $ item and one that comes with likely comes with internet access and the ability to text. Either of those things can open them up to a whole world that IMO they really dont need to be having such easy to access to.

The only payment we have ever made for the cell phones is to sign a 2 year contract. The kids' cells are add ons to our own lines. I think they are 7 Euro each a month now. In the US we paid $5 a month per phone. Not a big expense. Most people spend a lot more than that on cable TV--which we choose not to "spoil" our kids with--heck we did not have ANY incoming TV signal in the US. Lots of stuff on TV kids should not be exposed to as well--you can ban it all together (we weren't banning it, we just did not feel it was worth the cost and lived where an antenna did not pick anything up). Do you feel kids should not be allowed to watch TV or do you think most parents can monitor it appropriately for their child? (serious question, not being snarky).
My kids do not have internet on their phones, but they do have access at home so I do not see an issue there.
[/QUOTE]

For people that have kids that need them due to practices and the like, do they run at random times? Here practice / scout meetings and the like run from a start time to and end time. They typically dont run long or end early by more than a few mins and we know up front if they are going to end at 7 / 7:30 or whatever.

When mine did community theatre the times often changed. Also, as I explained above, the school end times often change on my kids. Last week a virus swept through the school. DD got out 3-4 hours early every day and DS was out 3 hours early once and 2 hours early on two other days.

this would be an issue where I could see it's a good thing.

I hadn't considered (guess we're just old fashion) of not having a 'normal' landline phone in the house and a child being home by themselves without access to a phone in case of emergency.

This is the original reason we got the kids their "shared" phone when they were 4 and 6. Almost exactly the same situation as I quoted below.

I am the lone 'other' vote, so I thought I'd explain...

We don't have a home phone, just our cell phones. That made me quite uncomfortable for when/if we needed a babysitter, or emergencies. We got a third cell phone that is somewhat a house phone.

But we let DS, who is 9, take it with him to use when he is at a friend's house or gone to his grandparents. He thinks of it as his phone, but he really only gets it a small amt of time.

 

[dawson5]

The phones were free, and I have internet access blocked. You will probably find, as your ds gets older, that practices end at random times, either early or late. Once they get to Little League here, practices NEVER end when they are supposed to.

This. This is what encouraged us to allow our youngest to get one at the end of fourth grade--right when baseball started. Our oldest didn't get one until he was in 7th grade and really didn't have a need, it was a want. Middle one plays sports and is involved in a lot of after-school and before school activities. What drove us over the edge was when the middle son was at practice and I stayed to watch. The youngest was about three miles away and it was down-pouring there--freak storm. He had no way of calling to say "Mom please get me now." He had to ask a coach to take him home. He is also my one that is always on the go, he is the one with it being both a need and a want.

As for the internet, we have the ability to turn it off. Also, for them to be able to keep the phone, we need to be able to see it, texts, pictures, etc. If you are hiding stuff from us, then it is ours.

 

[pansmermaidzlagoon]

other: my DD12 uses mine and takes it to school and activities. We would not have bought her her own an iPhone.

I rarely have use for one, so sharing isn't a big deal. My DH has an iPhone that is paid for by his employer, so we only pay for one.

She mainly uses everything on it, but the phone. She uses the phone for her activities which can end early or run late. DH and I run errands while she is there - and this way we know when to pick her up.

Also, it is the one thing that works when we take it away as a punishment!!!

 

[Colleen27]

Where exactly are these kids at, without an adult of some sort present, that they need their own cellphones for to call people??

We live in a small town and our oldest (12) has a fair bit of freedom. He takes his bike to sports practices, to the ice cream shop or penny candy store with friends, the little beach, the park/bike paths, things like that. We got him a phone because it is a very minor expense ($10/mo add-on to our plan, phone was free) for a good deal of convenience and peace of mind.

ETA: We don't have a landline, so his cell also doubles as a "home phone" on the occasions when I run to the store or take my 8yo to her sports/activities without him. I wouldn't want him home alone, even for that few minutes, without a phone, but I also wouldn't want to leave him mine and be unreachable.

 

[golfgal]

Heck yea. In elementary school it was cut and dry however starting in middle school it is a different story. Last minute meetings and oh mom btw, I have to stay after today for ___________. And they are telling you this that morning.

Plus they start hanging out with friends in public and frankly by then you are thinking, thank goodness they have a cell otherwise you would go insane.

Your middle schoolers would tell you that BEFORE school-wow, that is pretty responsible

 

[marcyinPA]

My youngest DS will be 11 next week. He does not have a cell phone. We are considering getting him one for Christmas (he'll be in MS)

My oldest DS is 15 and has had his cell phone since the middle of 7th grade. There had been a few instances before he got his phone that I wished he had one. He has never abused the privilege. We just got texting (unlimited, family plan) this past fall. My DH and I use it as much as my DS. In fact, I think I had more texts than he did last month!

I see no problem with a middle schooler having a cell phone. It's the younger elementary aged kids that make me scratch my head. They are in school, they are at home. How often are they alone, on their own??

 

[4forMe]

I voted no but realize I should have voted "other".

DS11 is in 5th grade and uses my old cell phone to take with him to practices, etc. in case of an emergency. The battery is old and lasts for approx. 1-2 phone calls which I told him was perfect!

I will say in his grade having a cell phone with all the "features" appears to be much more important to the girls in his grade than the guys. The majority of his friends that have a phone have one that is an old hand me down, no Internet and limited texting. He does have one friend, though, that has an iPhone and some other friends that do have texting.

He starts middle school in the fall and will be getting a new phone with unlimited texting. He is in a ton of activities and I will feel more comfortable with him having a phone that won't break down. We will also get him unlimited texting as I am well aware that this is the major form of communication for tweens/teens. He will not have internet access, however. His younger brother will inherit my old phone for when he attends his sports practices.

Everyone has to do what is comfortable for their own family situation.