"Celebrating" a deceased person's birthday?

[MaryAnnDVC]

What do you do, if anything? Flowers for the grave? Lunch with a surviving relative? Anything else?

 

[tiggerlover]

I do not have any close friends or relatives that have passed, but I imagine if I did, I would want to visit their grave and bring flowers.

 

[emmy]

We have a niece that passed away at 20 months, and we usually send a card to let them know we are remembering her too!
Some others still send a donation in memory of her each year.

 

[Tony-NJ]

grave for their birthday's. And Holidays too.

 

[Robinrs]

January 30th was my Mom's birthday and the first one since she passed in September. My best friend and I had a birthday "party" where she brought cards and gifts for "her" and we celebrated as in honor of her. It was my friend's idea and I will cherish her forever for that.

My son's birthday is July 22nd. Every year (17 now_ I spend it on vacation and I always spend that day doing something wonderful to celebrate his life and what he did for my life.

My Dad's birthday is April 7th. It will be the first one for Michael and me. It is also Spring Break week for Michael and we had planned to be with him. Instead we will be in Orlando and I plan to spend the day making my son happy and celebrating the beauty of the life my Dad passed onto us.

 

[hocksocmom]

My friend lives 3 1/2 hours from her fathers grave but every year on his birthday she makes a cake in his honor for the family dessert.

 

[CarolAnnC]

My husband's birthday was in the fall, so we usually bring something of significance to his grave. This year we brought daddy a pumpkin and a very cute ceramic figure of a little boy with freckles in blue jeans overalls. I also bring a floral arrangement at the same time. Always in our hearts...

 

[HauntedMansionGeek]

What an interesting question!
We celebrate my FIL's birthday by taking MIL out for dinner.

Sadly though, as the years have gone by, we sometimes forget the day...slapping ourselves on the foreheads when we remember it weeks later.

And oddly, for us anyway, we remember the day he passed away more often than we do his birthday.

 

[TerriP]

I usually visit my dad's grave on his birthday, sometimes bringing flowers and sometimes not. It's been a while since he's passed (almost 12 years) but early on I would be sure to spend the day with my mom to keep her company. It 's nice to be with someone who can help you remember good times about the deceased loved one on that special day.

 

[caitycaity]

none of the deceased people that i was close to have graves. i don't do anything special for their birthdays but i do think about them all the time.

 

[Buckalew]

We bring flowers and visit the grave of FIL and I do for my Pop-Pop on their birthdays.

My MIL has always done something special for her father's b-day. She takes the money that she would have spent on his b-day gift and has given it to someone in need. I sthink there has been times when she has given it to a charity but for the most part she gives it to an individual/family who is in need. There is always someone who needs help. She always tells them what the money is about and it is always appreciated and never forgotten. She has an incrediable giving heart.

 

[caitycaity]

that's nice, buckalew.

 

[snoopy]

I'm sorry to say I rarely go to my parent's gravesites. I don't find a lot of comfort there, graveyards have always given me the creeps.

Instead, I do something I think my parents might have liked to do. My mother's birthday just passed, she was a stage actress and always enjoyed going to the theatre as well, so DH and I went and saw a local play. My Dad liked huge Italian feasts, so I usually make a big dinner on his birthday. I find a certain amount of comfort devoting that day to thinking of them, although I do that pretty much every day anyway. It doesn't have to be a birthday.

 

[WebmasterMaryJo]

<font color=navy>I'm with Snoops on that one.

 

[Buckalew]

Snoopy, that is nice also! I feel the same way about the grave site. They aren't there and I know that. The reason I go to my grandfather's grave is because he was buried here even though all his family is from NC and he had gravesites there (& that is where his baby son was buried). He wanted to be in TN because that is where his immediate family lives and he wanted us to decorate his grave. So, in that sense, I am respecting his wishes.
He was a great man. *sigh*

 

[Robinrs]

Snoops, I don't go to gravesites, also. My family has learned to understand that. I just don't believe that they're there!

My Dad held my hand during my son's funeral. He whispered in my ear "that's just his body, you know where his spirit is." I'll never forget that.

My Dad's words came so clear to me when he was buried. I felt him smiling at me and not from the casket. I thank him for giving me that peace.

 

[MaryAnnDVC]

Thanks for the insights.

I feel the same way about visiting gravesites. Even tho my mother hasn't said anything (today's Dad's birthday), I think it bothers her that I don't go; she's very old-fashioned Italian, and when we lived in NJ where all the old relatives were buried, she made many trips to the cemetary.

Just talked to Mom...she was heading out the door to clean out dead leaves and do some planting at Dad's gravesite...I guess she finds comfort in that. The kids and I are taking her out to dinner tonight.

 

[Buckalew]

{{{Hugs}}}Mare, on your Father's Birthday. I'll say a prayer for your mom. I'm sure she misses him.

 

[MaryAnnDVC]

Thanks, Brenda. You're a sweety...as always.

 

[BonnieA]

Both my parents gave to a local charity in their town. My mother was always visiting the nuns there and giving them money for the relief work. I've been sending a check to them on my Mom's birthday cause I know she would have wanted that. Now that my father has passed away, I will also send one on his birthday. This is my birthday present to them.