Cat people - Need advice

[phorsenuf]

Oh for goodness sakes! Why do people think that a cat is gonna do harm to a baby. People still buy into to the old wives tale that cats climb into cribs and smother babies. Its so ridiculous! This is such a pet peeve of mine. My neice got rid of her cat because she was convinced that was going to happen. Such a shame and so unfair to the cat. They are not some throw away item.

I have 4 kids and we've always had cats. None of my boys are allergic nor were they bothered by the cats. In fact with one of my boys when he was a newborn and would start crying one of my cats would run over to him and start licking his head as if he was trying to soothe him. It was the sweetest thing. All of my boys developed a special bond to a cat and still has them. One of them literally cries for him all day until he gets home from school and then is by his side the rest of the time. She seems to know what time he gets in and will wait by the door for him.

I would tell your wife to just relax and see that it will all work out. If not and you need a home for it I'll take it. I don't know where yuo are in relation to NH but I'm willing. Poor baby.

 

[DizBelle]

I have 5 cats and while I think constraining your cat to one room isn't the best situation for your cat, it's probably a lot better than she would get elsewhere. I think that as long as it is not a super tiny room and she has plenty of surfaces to lounge on (a sofa perhaps), a window to look out of would be great, and you MAKE SURE that she gets some "Daddy love" every day, she could live a long and happy life in that room. Perhaps when the twins are a year or two old, your wife will let the cat interact with them. Perhaps the paranoia will subside once they are out of the infant stage.

So, I think you should keep the cat. You obviously care a great deal about her and I don't think she will "suffer" confined to the one room.

 

[boomhauer]

Gonna give the cat away. Made up my mind. I'm getting the guilt trip and I don't wanna hear it.

"Fine, we'll keep her and if anything happens, blah blah blah."

I don't need that crap. I'm not going to be made to feel guilty because I care about our cat. At the same time, I'm not going to fight with my wife and cause problems.

This is one of those things in life, that as a guy, I'm going to suck it up and do whatever my wife wants. Part of being a man is accepting that there are times when you just can't win.

Thanks for the advice.

 

[FayeW]

boomhauer, I completely disagree! I think you should put your foot down and tell your wife to stop being so ridiculous! Let her read this thread, for that matter! Cats hurting babies is just an old wives tale, probably meant to explain SIDS when there was no other explaination.

I say give the cat free reign of the house as she used to have, and tell your wife that is how it's going to be and she's just going to have to deal with it. Making you get rid of a beloved pet for absolutely no freakin reason is just cruel.

 

[CheshireVal]

boomhauer, I completely disagree! I think you should put your foot down and tell your wife to stop being so ridiculous! Let her read this thread, for that matter! Cats hurting babies is just an old wives tale, probably meant to explain SIDS when there was no other explaination.

I say give the cat free reign of the house as she used to have, and tell your wife that is how it's going to be and she's just going to have to deal with it. Making you get rid of a beloved pet for absolutely no freakin reason is just cruel.

I agree with this.

And if she's already said, "Fine you can have it, but if anything happens..."

Well, chances are nothing is going to happen. She might pout about it for a few days but in the end you'll have your cat and the kids will be fine.

 

[Disney Ella]

When my twins were little, the cats used to like to sleep in their cribs. We wanted to discourage this so we put a screen door on the babies' room. It kept the cats out of the room and we could still easily hear the babies, but the cats still had the run of the house. My kids are 11 now and love our remaining cat. When I check on them in the middle of the night, he's always in one of their beds.

 

[boomhauer]

boomhauer, I completely disagree! I think you should put your foot down and tell your wife to stop being so ridiculous! Let her read this thread, for that matter! Cats hurting babies is just an old wives tale, probably meant to explain SIDS when there was no other explaination.

I say give the cat free reign of the house as she used to have, and tell your wife that is how it's going to be and she's just going to have to deal with it. Making you get rid of a beloved pet for absolutely no freakin reason is just cruel.

She insists my 6 year old step-son is allergic to cats. In all fairness, he's allergic to everything (or so it seems). I've never seen a problem with him around the cat. She says his eyes get all puffy. Again, I've never noticed it.

It's a no-win situation for me. If the cat stays, my life becomes very unpleasant.

 

[Claire L]

I'd put the kids in a room and let the cat have free run of the house! As others have said alot of stuff about cats and kids is old wives tales and I also agree that these days too many illnesses come from not allowing kids to mix with animals or get a bit muddy etc etc.

Claire

 

[Crankyshank]

I can't believe you're giving up something you love, a creature you promised to love and care for, because your sleep deprived hormonal wife is being irrational.
Put your foot down. Your wife will get over it and calm down within a few weeks.

 

[SC Minnie]

Our cat was a year old when DD was born. When we brought her home from the hospital I showed him the baby and he smelled her. He didn't really want anything to do with her after that- his curiousity was settled. When she would cry or make noise the cat would come and get me- I think he was trying to tell me to make sure stop because she was getting on his nerves. Our cat NEVER jumped in her bassinet or crib. Never. He NEVER bit her (when she started crawling he always stayed about a foot away from her).

When I was pregant with DD people kept telling me I had to get rid of the cat because he would smother the baby and so on. Just ridiculous.

IMO you wife if being unreasonable. THe cat has not done anything to the babies or even tried to except for looking at them. Pets aren't disposable they are living beings.

 

[CheshireVal]

She insists my 6 year old step-son is allergic to cats. In all fairness, he's allergic to everything (or so it seems). I've never seen a problem with him around the cat. She says his eyes get all puffy. Again, I've never noticed it.

It's a no-win situation for me. If the cat stays, my life becomes very unpleasant.

But you've had this cat for how long now? And it hasn't been an issue til now?

 

[boomhauer]

But you've had this cat for how long now? And it hasn't been an issue til now?

1 year.

She says it has been an issue, but since the cat is downstairs most of the time, it hasn't affected him.

 

[stinkerbelle's mom]

Hope you get to keep your cat. I agree that the cat should help the children's immune system to allergies. Also you can buy netting to keep the cat out of the children's beds if that's a worry. My brother has the same 2 cats that he had before his twin sons (4 today) were born. There was a worry from everyone about the cat being with the babies, but there was no problems at all. There is an old wives tale about the cats smoothering babies trying to get to their milk-- that could be a concern of your dw's. Good luck

 

[pettyone]

One of my coworkers is allergic to EVERYTHING--well, except cows (?)--she has 2 cats. She has survived...the cats don't exacerbate her symptoms...they don't necessarily help. Of course, she takes allergy meds for her plethora of allergies, but she would never give up her cats.

Her husband, on the other hand, sounds exactly like your wife...but, guess what? THEY STILL HAVE CATS!

Pets are family too...I would never give a pet away...

 

[Sherri]

Same here...nothing like seeing one of my teenage boys interact with the cats. They can be such typical teenagers, but then a cat will want to play with them or want attention and they melt. A few days ago they were telling me the story about being in the study--one boy on the computer and another on a couch reading. One of our cats was going from boy to boy, curling up on one lap and then the other, back and forth.

Oh I totally agree. I think its so fun to watch my ds15 1/2 with our cats. He talks to them and picks them up as if it were second nature.

 

[cats7494]

We had three cats when my daughter was born - she is now 14 months old and it is so fun watching her interact with the cats.
They have NEVER hurt her - only sniffing her or laying beside her sometimes.
My older daughter who is 13 has grown up with cats her entire life and is very compassionate with animals - I think because of being around them.
Good luck to you..I personally feel pets are important to children and would not give them up.

 

[horseshowmom]

She insists my 6 year old step-son is allergic to cats. In all fairness, he's allergic to everything (or so it seems). I've never seen a problem with him around the cat. She says his eyes get all puffy. Again, I've never noticed it.

It's a no-win situation for me. If the cat stays, my life becomes very unpleasant.

What you've got is a woman who doesn't want the cat anymore. Unfortunately, the animal shelters are filled with animals (both dogs and cats) who were no longer welcome after the baby was born.

I completely agree that the cat isn't going to hurt the babies. Furthermore, it sounds like she's making up excuses concerning the older child. I mean, honestly, "If anything happens...", does she think the cat is going to murder them or something?

You probably aren't going to win this battle (based on some of your other posts). I'm sorry to hear that the cat has been put in this position. I'm hoping that you can find a responsible home to take him/her.

I also agree with something else you said, I would NEVER agree to getting another pet again. Animals are NOT disposable.

 

[DizBelle]

When you and your wife decided to get the cat, you both made a commitment to take care of her. I hope that you and your wife would take this commitment seriously. Your wife should respect this commitment. If she backs out of this, what else is she going to back out of?

 

[horseshowmom]

When you and your wife decided to get the cat, you both made a commitment to take care of her. I hope that you and your wife would take this commitment seriously. Your wife should respect this commitment. If she backs out of this, what else is she going to back out of?

You know, I agree with you completely, but you and I both know that there are a lot of people in this world who don't take caring for a pet seriously. That's why I have as many animals as I do (currently, 3 dogs and a dozen cats). With a rare exception, I've never "gotten" a pet in my life. They almost all were abandoned, and I found them (generally starving and sometimes sick or pregnant). Fortunately, while my husband isn't quite as fervant an animal lover as I am, he is understanding and willing to compromise with my taking in the strays.

I understand the situation the poster is in. His wife has decided that she no longer wants to be "bothered" by the cat, so she wants the OP to "get rid of it". He's in a situation where he has two new babies, and he has to live with this woman. I'm just glad it's him and not me...

ETA: I'm sorry if this sounds harsh. I just get so frustrated over this type of thing.

 

[Muushka]

This thread makes me so sad. Clearly you are a very caring man (who love his cat, how nice is that?). As much as I would love to see you keep this cat, in the long run it probably is a good idea to find her a good home. She will always be a barrier between you and your wife, and the poor kitty living in the den is no life for her.

You have already said that you won't take her to a shelter, good for you. I hope you find someone nice that could take her, maybe allow visits!

And I agree, no more pets for this wife!

Please let us know how everything works out.