Cat people - Need advice

[boomhauer]

Have some cat questions.

My wife and I welcomed our twins boys just over a month ago. My wife is very nervous about having the cat anywhere near them. The cat is only a year old. I love her like crazy. She's definitely a daddy's girl.

Anyways, since we're usually upstairs, my wife decided we should keep the cat downstairs. Now she's worried about the cat's dander and it not being good for the babies. So, she cleared out our den downstairs, put all of the cat's toys, her food, water and litter box in there, and closes the door. It was the only way I could get her to let me keep the cat.

I go in there every night and play with her for a little while, but I just feel awful about having her restricted like that. The room is plenty comfortable and roomy, but she's really closed off from anyone except for when I go in there.

I have to do what's best for the babies, but I can't stand to think of the cat being unhappy. Is this situation no good for the cat, and should I just give her away to a good home?

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Yes. The cat has lost already.

 

[KadysMom]

I had my cat for 6 months before my daughter was born. The dander should not bother them if they dont have asthma. I tried to keep the cat away from DD but it was a hassle, and the cat did not bother her anyway.... So why not try to see how the cat does

 

[boomhauer]

I had my cat for 6 months before my daughter was born. The dander should not bother them if they dont have asthma. I tried to keep the cat away from DD but it was a hassle, and the cat did not bother her anyway.... So why not try to see how the cat does

My wife won't do it. The couple times the cat got upstiars, she jumped on the bed and was looking at the babies. I told her, she was just curious, but she wouldn't go for it.

I should also add that my 6 year old step-son has allergies. My wife says his doctor claimed he had minor allergies to the cat, but I've never seen it. He never sneezes or wheezes around her.

Sounds silly, but if I have to give the cat up, I'm going to be heartbroken. Bad situation when you have a pet and once person loves them, and the spouse doesn't.

 

[helenabear]

I'm surprised you didn't discuss this long before the babies were born. I was born and raised in a house with cats and dogs. We all survived (all 3 of us). It sounds like she is way too paranoid for her own good about cats. If you can't sit down and talk to her to get her to keep the cat under the rules you had before the children were home, I say give the cat away. What you are doing is unfair and not right for the cat IMO. Putting a cat in one room (no matter how "roomy" it is... unless it is a 1700sq ft playroom ) is not right and not fair. I'd consider that actually quite cruel.

 

[Sherri]

Have some cat questions.

My wife and I welcomed our twins boys just over a month ago. My wife is very nervous about having the cat anywhere near them. The cat is only a year old. I love her like crazy. She's definitely a daddy's girl.

Anyways, since we're usually upstairs, my wife decided we should keep the cat downstairs. Now she's worried about the cat's dander and it not being good for the babies. So, she cleared out our den downstairs, put all of the cat's toys, her food, water and litter box in there, and closes the door. It was the only way I could get her to let me keep the cat.

I go in there every night and play with her for a little while, but I just feel awful about having her restricted like that. The room is plenty comfortable and roomy, but she's really closed off from anyone except for when I go in there.

I have to do what's best for the babies, but I can't stand to think of the cat being unhappy. Is this situation no good for the cat, and should I just give her away to a good home?

I mean no disrespect to your wife because I know as a parent we want to do what we think to be best for our kids.
However, there are plenty of people who have cats and babies. Although my babies are grown up teenagers now we had cats before we had kids and they remained a part of our lives once the kids were born.
Have the babies shown any signs of allergys? If not then I am not sure what worry is about.
If it makes you feel any better I don't think your wife is alone in this as shelters are over flowing with pets that were cast aside once the human babies came.
Good luck, I feel for you and the position you are in. I hope your cat can find a loving home again if thats what it comes to.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

I've had cats (always more than one) and babies and have never had any problem with them together. Yes, the cats will check a baby out--they are curious, but they don't harm them. We have always kept the bedroom doors closed at night so the cats wouldn't wake a baby up, but I know that some people leave the doors open and it's not a problem.

Keep in mind that if you bring the cat to a shelter the cat very possibly will be put to sleep. You can try to find a no-kill shelter, but they might not have room and again, a cat is hard to adopt out. I volunteer at a no-kill and there is one cat that is very nice who is a year old who still hasn't been adopted. I would try to find a friend to take the cat before going the shelter route, but that is only after trying to reason with your wife.

I hope everything works out.

 

[boomhauer]

Under NO circumstances will I ever give the cat to a shelter. No chance. If I can find a good home for her, I will.

One thing is for sure - The next time my wife wants a pet, the answer is gonna be no. This is just too hard for me. I've grown very attached to her and I can't go through this again.

 

[Sherri]

Under NO circumstances will I ever give the cat to a shelter. No chance. If I can find a good home for her, I will.

One thing is for sure - The next time my wife wants a pet, the answer is gonna be no. This is just too hard for me. I've grown very attached to her and I can't go through this again.

Maybe your wife isn't thinking logically because she is sleep deprived. If you can research all of the issues she has brought up to you about the cat and the babies and when she is calm and relaxed you can rationally discuss the issues and what you found out then maybe the cat will have a fighting chance. I see that was quite a run on sentence, shame on me, but i'm too busy to fix it.

 

[RadioNate]

I have 2 cats and have NEVER had a problem with the cats and kids...period. Again, no disrespect to your wife but she seriously needs to chill. Sounds like she doesn't like the cat and is making excuses.

The cat will sniff out the babies and then probablly run and hide from them! After the initial introductions it took YEARS for one of our cats to associate with DS. Even now, 6 years later, they still don't have much to do with eachother.

Millions of people have cats and babies. Statistically more dogs hurt babies and children yet cats get the bad rap.

I think you need to find a way to come to a solution where the cat and babies SHARE the house or the cat needs a new home. It can't be locked in a room all day.

 

[Heidict]

Actually, studies show that children that are raised in a home with a cat have less of a chance of developing allergies to animals.

We have a cat and he has never harmed our daugheter, who is 14 months old. Sure, he jumped on the bed and looked at her, but eventually he got used to her and couldn't care less about her.

I'm sorry you wife feels this way, but it sounds like there isn't much that is going to change her mind. She has her mind set and even if you show her logical stuff she is just going to dismiss it because she has convinced herself that she is right about the cat.

 

[snowy76]

Honestly, it sounds like your DW may be looking for a reason to get rid of the cat.

However... you mentioned you had twins - have the babies had medical issues (prematurity, low birth weight etc.)? It's possible that your wife may still be feeling very helpless about those things and may see the cat as one way to control what's around them. After my DS's time in the hospital I did not leave the house with him even after the doctors said it was okay - I was too afraid of him catching an illness. Keep in mind he had no medical issues other than being early and small. But at the time he was born, I was in shock and I felt like I hadn't done enough to protect my baby. That being said, my DS and the cat are best buddies around here and that's how I've always wanted it.

 

[mickeyboat]

I was pretty concerned about our cats when the babies came along. They were very curious about them, and loved to sleep on their blankets, in their car seats, etc. I was worried they would smother the babies, and when I took a shower, I put the babies in a zip-up outdoor play seat thing.

I just watched them carefully at first, and realized that the cats were not going to hurt the babies any more than they were going to hurt me. One of my cats gave Hannah her first boo-boo when she was about 8 weeks old. She was laying on the floor on her back on a blanket. There were some toys around her. The cat went after one of the toys, and Hannah got scratched on her forehead. I don't think she even cried.

I have always been under the impression that exposure to pets actually helps build immunity, and lessens the risk of developing allergies.

I do think it is pretty cruel to keep the cat confined to one small room. If she is anything like my cats, she needs human affection and companionship.

My girls LOVE my cats. One of our cats comes with me every morning to wake them up and every night to tuck them in to bed. He spends half the night sleeping with them. When they cry, he always comes to comfort them. If they are laying on the floor, he lays down next to them.

I think there is a way to co-exist with cats, even with two small babies. But if you can't convince your wife, please find a good home for your cat.

Denae

 

[Laura]

Your wife is being silly; lots of people have kids and pets in the house together. Unless the twins have some sort of medical issue, I see no reason to keep the cat confined like that. And if there is a medical issue, the best thing would be to give the cat to a good home where she can have the run of the house.

 

[Sherri]

I love the fact that my kids were raised around cats, they are very much animal people and are very compassionate towards animals for that reason.

 

[OrlandoMike]

Not trying to sound mean here.....BUT I have noticed over the years.....

Parents try to protect their children, and rightfully so. But is it always in their best interest???

No Pets, bottled water only, everything is sanitized.

In my day, we had multiple pets, drank out of the garden hose, ate dirt, touched everything, shared drinking glasses etc.

I really do believe this helped our generation develop better immune systems. I'm not a medical professional, but there seems to be a lot more "allergies" these days then when we were growing up.

If you do have to give up the cat, perhaps a friend could take it???

 

[Tigger&Belle]

I love the fact that my kids were raised around cats, they are very much animal people and are very compassionate towards animals for that reason.

Same here...nothing like seeing one of my teenage boys interact with the cats. They can be such typical teenagers, but then a cat will want to play with them or want attention and they melt. A few days ago they were telling me the story about being in the study--one boy on the computer and another on a couch reading. One of our cats was going from boy to boy, curling up on one lap and then the other, back and forth.

 

[MzDiz]

Chances are pretty good that if your boy has allergies, he'll still have allergies even if the cat is gone. People get used to their own pets after a little while. I'm allergic to cats and we have 11 of them. I'm used to MY cats and no longer bothered. Get me in someone else's house though, and it's another story!
I've seen too many people listen to bad advice from bad professionals lately. I've had a few doctors in the last few years that couldn't think their way out of a wet paper bag. People need to use common sense Your carpet is probably more dangerous to the babies than your cat. The inside of your mattress is probably more dangerous than your cat. But, people go to the doctor demanding a diagnosis and a prescription and they'll work around the truth until they hear what they came to hear.

 

[welovedisneyx4]

Good luck! When DD was born, we had 4 cats (and a dog!)! The cats had laid against my belly when I was pregnant...I said the baby would come out purring! They even seemed protective of DD. We of course watched the cats closely at first, but we had no problems what so ever.

I hope you DW comes around.

 

[Micca]

Another parent of twin DDs checking in. We had a cat and a dog when our DDs were born and they all got along fine. Would your DW consider some limited exposure for short periods to see if anything negative results? Trying to keep a cat shut up in a room all the time is going to be a pain, and probably not the best for the kitty. Good luck Boomhauer.