Carbon and Cruising

[RamblingMad]

We've had that conversation. She actually is more concerned about how the staff are treated.

That’s a whole can of worms there. I’ll let you start that thread.

It’s a problem across the whole cruise industry.

They’re definitely overworked and underpaid. We doubled our tips on our last cruise.

 

[revdon64]

I think I’m simply going to ask them to suggest to me alternative cruise-lines that they think are more carbon neutral.

What surprised me the last time I spoke with them was that it was their kids that brought it to their attention.

Have your kids pushed back on cruising over the last year?

OK, this thread just passed into the twilight zone.

 

[dclpluto]

Are you being serious or are you just messing with everybody on here? Your username is dead on accurate.

.

I was thinking the same thing.

 

[belle032]

I think I’m simply going to ask them to suggest to me alternative cruise-lines that they think are more carbon neutral.

What surprised me the last time I spoke with them was that it was their kids that brought it to their attention.

Have your kids pushed back on cruising over the last year?

I understand wanting to do better by the environment. I really do. I try to do my part in my own small ways like only using resuable bags, recycling, walking where I can, etc. And it seems like most major cruise lines are taking active steps to become greener overall. I'm just not sure what more you want them to do right this second?

Why do your friends need a Powerpoint presentation as to why you are choosing to go on a cruise vacation with your family? Are they financially contributing to your vacation and therefore have a say as to where you go and how you get there?

Bottom line, since this is causing you so much stress and you seem to care very much about what others think of your choices, I suggest not cruising. But then I also suggest you not get on a flight or drive a car anytime soon either. And you're better off sticking to destinations you can walk or bike to.

But just realize that there is a big, bustling, amazing world out there that we are so lucky to be able to experience. And yes, that usually involves getting on a plane, ship, train, or automobile. For me, travelling is a priority. So I'll take my reusable bags to the grocery store and recycle my plastics, but you can bet I'll come home right after and book a flight for my next cruise adventure.

 

[dclpluto]

Tell them to mind their own business and to look to the climate change king, Leo Decaprio who uses private planes to preach to us and owns mansions that waste tons of electricity. Climate change is a religion. To those who disagree, don’t bother to argue with me about it. I’m not responding.

No argument here I agree with you. Also Al Gore who uses lots more energy than probably 99.9 percent of Americans but wants to preach about what we are doing to the environment.

 

[RamblingMad]

I understand wanting to do better by the environment. I really do. I try to do my part in my own small ways like only using resuable bags, recycling, walking where I can, etc. And it seems like most major cruise lines are taking active steps to become greener overall. I'm just not sure what more you want them to do right this second?

Why do your friends need a Powerpoint presentation as to why you are choosing to go on a cruise vacation with your family? Are they financially contributing to your vacation and therefore have a say as to where you go and how you get there?

Bottom line, since this is causing you so much stress and you seem to care very much about what others think of your choices, I suggest not cruising. But then I also suggest you not get on a flight or drive a car anytime soon either. And you're better off sticking to destinations you can walk or bike to.

But just realize that there is a big, bustling, amazing world out there that we are so lucky to be able to experience. And yes, that usually involves getting on a plane, ship, train, or automobile. For me, travelling is a priority. So I'll take my reusable bags to the grocery store and recycle my plastics, but you can bet I'll come home right after and book a flight for my next cruise adventure.

My friends are just challenging me to become a better person. I respect that.

 

[dclpluto]

My friends are just challenging me to become a better person. I respect that.

So you are not a better person if you cruise?
Where do you live? Do you have solar panels on your house? How big is your house? The bigger your house the more energy you use.

 

[BadPinkTink]

My friends are just challenging me to become a better person. I respect that.

No they are manipulating you and forcing you to change your views and behaviour to fit with them, and making you feel guilty for having interest and vacations which they don't like.

They feel threatened by you doing things such as Disney cruises without them.

Thats not making you a better person.

Its making you loose self esteem and self confidence in your own choices and making you feel that you must align your views with them to be included in their group.

Thats not a healthy friendship. Its a toxic friendship.

 

[RamblingMad]

So you are not a better person if you cruise?
Where do you live? Do you have solar panels on your house? How big is your house? The bigger your house the more energy you use.

I do have solar panels on my house. And I used half the power they generated last month.

 

[RamblingMad]

No they are manipulating you and forcing you to change your views and behaviour to fit with them, and making you feel guilty for having interest and vacations which they don't like.

They feel threatened by you doing things such as Disney cruises without them.

Thats not making you a better person.

Its making you loose self esteem and self confidence in your own choices and making you feel that you must align your views with them to be included in their group.

Thats not a healthy friendship. Its a toxic friendship.

If it was toxic, they would be encouraging bad, unhealthy behavior. They’re also not an echo chamber that agrees with everything I say. I need people in my life that challenge my belief system, not reinforce the existing one.

 

[T & R]

My friends are just challenging me to become a better person. I respect that.

Just when I thought this thread couldn't get any more weird. Wham, another nugget of wisdom from socialist ideology.

This guy is clearly either messing with everybody or just trying to run up his reaction score on the board.

 

[Karin1984]

For the people who want to do what is best and feel guilty about going on cruises or flying, owning a car etc. Have you ever looked into the impact of having pets on the environment ;-)

As long as you do not fully ignore it and do your best, whether it's about solar panels, re-using plastic bags, straws, recycle, etc. you are doing something.
It's a bit like The Good Place on Netflix, the world has become so complicated, even when you try to do good, you are hurting someone or something else. And whether you get points for trying... we have to wait for the final episode ;-)

 

[belle032]

My friends are just challenging me to become a better person. I respect that.

No they aren't. There's a difference between challenging you and accusing you. Being a better person is relative. And just because you're better doesn't mean you're perfect.

I really don't know what you hope to gain out of posting this thread because I don't think you truly want to hear opinions that don't completely align with yours. All I've seen in your posts is you rushing to defend these friends of yours.

So to answer your initial post. Don't go on a cruise. They aren't great for the environment.

 

[dclpluto]

I do have solar panels on my house. And I used half the power they generated last month.

I’m guessing because you didn’t say how big your house is, you got a big house. The bigger your house the more carbon footprint you did to the environment.

 

[PsylockeSmythe]

If it was toxic, they would be encouraging bad, unhealthy behavior. They’re also not an echo chamber that agrees with everything I say. I need people in my life that challenge my belief system, not reinforce the existing one.

There is a difference between being challenged and being harassed all the time because someone doesn't agree with your choices. While I'm pretty tolerant and I can see the point of view of others, it doesn't mean I will agree with them or take what they say as gospel. It also doesn't mean that I will try to hound them until they agree with my point of view. If they keep trying to hound me over my choice, then there is a very good chance that I wouldn't be friends with that person anymore.

Everyone has to live with their life choices and if someone wants to be super eco friendly more power to them. Doesn't mean I'm a bad person because I'm not. It just means I made other choices and people should respect that.

Psy

 

[BadPinkTink]

If it was toxic, they would be encouraging bad, unhealthy behavior.

Not necessarily. A toxic friendship makes you unhappy. Another way of describing toxic friendship s s vampire friends, where they drain you of energy and are are hard work and all you seem to do is try to please them, and everything is one sided. A toxic friendship is not just the stereotype one of falling in with a bad crowd who make you take drugs or are involved in crime. Its more subtle than that. Its thinking people are your friends when they are not. Its people using you for their gain, whatever that may be.

You are talking like a person in an abusive relationship, defending them at all costs. Unless you actually distance yourself from them , nothing will change.

You come here asking for opinions, yet are not open to seeing a different point of view.

You sound like a person with low self esteem and self confidence and you sound like you admire this group and want to be like them and it sounds like you feel you have to change your views and behaviours to be part of this group. Thats not a healthy way to make friends.

 

[BadPinkTink]

Source https://www.liveabout.com/how-to-protect-yourself-from-the-emotional-vampires-in-your-life-1385124

Unlike the vampires you see in the movies, emotional vampires enjoy sucking the joy out of your friendships.Rather than feasting on blood (like the vampires of legend), they feed on the positive energy that exists in a relationship. The best way to handle these types of people is just to avoid them.

Why Emotional Vampires Are Bad for Friendships
Friendships are built on trust, support, and fun, so having someone in your life that diminishes this will make it difficult to be yourself. More than that, emotional vampires can leave you mentally exhausted, and at worst, can make you question your own choices in life. True friends, by contrast, should be gently honest with you and encourage you. Your friends should be there to give you support and provide an emotional safe place where you won't be ridiculed or made to feel less than you are.

If you are friends with an emotional vampire, your entire view of friendships can be skewed. Emotional vampires are dangerous because they don't attack head-on, but rather work their way into your psyche little by little. Their actions are not overt, so in order to figure them out, you might question their intentions and loyalty.

What Do Emotional Vampires Do?
Typically, emotional vampires are all about them. So they will talk about their problems ad nauseam without reciprocating the gesture or, they will manage to change the level of excitement in a room full of people from happy to irritated and angry. Suddenly the mood of the room will change to something darker, and the people at the table will leave feeling more "down" than positive and upbeat. If you were laughing or having fun before, chances are the mood is decidedly different after the emotional vampire arrives.

Acquaintances Who Are Emotional Vampires
So, you already know not to become friends with an emotional vampire, but how do you avoid letting them get to know when you're out and about? You might have to interact with an acquaintance like this who is so annoying and negative that they bring you down on even the best day.

First, learn how to gracefully change the subject. Nothing annoys an emotional vampire more than when they aren't the center of attention. Also, ignore their jabs and snarky remarks, and instead give attention to the positive people around you. After a while, they will get bored with you and move on to bother someone else.

How Do You Know When Someone Is an Emotional Vampire?
It's not always easy to determine who is an emotional vampire and who is simply having a bad day. Emotional vampires are not unlike negative friends, who tend to bring you down rather than help build you up.

Emotional vampires may do things like:

• Turn the topic of conversation to themselves, no matter what you are talking about.
• Redirect attention to something else when it is focused on someone other than them.
• Make you feel a bit down, or unhappy, after you leave them.
• Make you feel mentally exhausted at their lengthy phone calls, emails, or visits.
• Demand your time when they have a problem, which they seem to have a lot.

In short, if you feel worse after you see or talk to your friend, that person may be an emotional vampire. Before you decide to pull away from the friendship, however, make sure you know for sure that this person isn't just having a rough time of things or even just a bad day. Emotional vampires consistently bring you down, so if you notice this going on regularly over time, chances are you have an emotional vampire in your life.

 

[RamblingMad]

Not necessarily. A toxic friendship makes you unhappy. Another way of describing toxic friendship s s vampire friends, where they drain you of energy and are are hard work and all you seem to do is try to please them, and everything is one sided. A toxic friendship is not just the stereotype one of falling in with a bad crowd who make you take drugs or are involved in crime. Its more subtle than that. Its thinking people are your friends when they are not. Its people using you for their gain, whatever that may be.

You are talking like a person in an abusive relationship, defending them at all costs. Unless you actually distance yourself from them , nothing will change.

You come here asking for opinions, yet are not open to seeing a different point of view.

You sound like a person with low self esteem and self confidence and you sound like you admire this group and want to be like them and it sounds like you feel you have to change your views and behaviours to be part of this group. Thats not a healthy way to make friends.

I haven’t heard any reasonable opinions to the contrary. I’ve heard other countries are worse. I’ve heard that if I’m going to stop cruising I should stop doing everything else that uses any carbon footprint. I heard my friends are toxic for even bringing this up. I’ve heard don’t cruise. Someone also mentioned socialism, which kind of blows my mind. Now, I’m hearing that I obviously have low self esteem for even hearing them out. At the end of the day, I haven’t heard anything reasonable as a response.

 

[DisBNewB]

If it was toxic, they would be encouraging bad, unhealthy behavior. They’re also not an echo chamber that agrees with everything I say. I need people in my life that challenge my belief system, not reinforce the existing one.

Please note that I am with you on the environmental concerns - I've said as much in comments past.

However, friends not guilting you isn't the same as encouraging bad, unhealthy behavior. They call you out on it - great. They've said their piece. You then get to make up your own mind, and they have to respect that you are an independent person making independent decisions. If they are continuing to harp on you and make you feel guilty, THAT is not being respectful of you as a friend.

I'm not saying that they should be "yay, you're cruising!" or anything like that. I'm not even saying that they shouldn't say anything. But once you've acknowledged what they've said and confronted your own feelings about the trip, that's as far as that should go.

To circle back to your parents and smoking analogy - I have friends who smoke. I let them know how I feel about it, and how I want them to take care of themselves and be better/safer. And then I LET IT GO. Because nagging them about it and making them feel guilty isn't going to help them stop smoking, it's just going to make them feel bad about themselves. I just let them know I'm there if they ever want or need help/support with quitting, and that's that.

If your friends said their piece and AREN'T nagging you about it, then I don't think it's the friends "making [you] feel guilty." If it is, then they're not being very nice friends.

Yeah, they should (in this case) say something. And then that's that.

 

[sethschroeder]

Emotional vampires may do things like:

• Turn the topic of conversation to themselves, no matter what you are talking about.
• Redirect attention to something else when it is focused on someone other than them.
• Make you feel a bit down, or unhappy, after you leave them.
• Make you feel mentally exhausted at their lengthy phone calls, emails, or visits.
• Demand your time when they have a problem, which they seem to have a lot.

Okay? But from the OPs comments so far they have done none of this regarding this specific topic. It also sounds like it is the kids not even the direct friends as much and still none of these apply to this from what the OP has said.

However, friends not guilting you isn't the same as encouraging bad, unhealthy behavior. They call you out on it - great. They've said their piece. You then get to make up your own mind, and they have to respect that you are an independent person making independent decisions. If they are continuing to harp on you and make you feel guilty, THAT is not being respectful of you as a friend.

Something I brought up before. The OP didn't outline it but if the friends continually go on and on about it thats one things. It sounds like this is more so in passing from time to time from different friends at different times.

The OP would have to elaborate if this is a continuous thing or not. I am taking it as something that recently just happened and thats about all to it.