brymolmom said:
I have researched the car seat on an airplane thing before and am always angry at the vague data I've found. Has anyone ever found studies/statistics on the number of injuries to lap children vs. injuries to car seated children?
Did you read the FAA link NotUrsula posted earlier? It contained this text:
3. Normal lap belts, for children who weighed 33 pounds, provided
adjustable tight fit, a belt path over the pelvic bone, and no
indication of submarining or roll out during dynamic tests. However,
because lap belts are not designed to inhibit upper torso flail, head
impacts against the seat structure that were severe enough to cause
head injury occurred during testing. These impacts were substantially
higher than those exhibited in the forward CRS tests.
So, while it's not a statistical comparison, it is a test that showed that for children weighing 33 lb (or less, one may presume), children in lap belts would suffer "substantially higher impacts" than children in a CRS. As for children being "restrained" by a parent's arms:
On October 15, 1992, the FAA broadened the categories of CRSs that
were allowed to be used on aircraft to include CRSs that meet the
standards of the United Nations or are approved by a foreign government
(57 FR 42662; September 15, 1992). NHTSA does not set these standards.
In the preamble, the FAA stated ``Using these restraints in an aircraft
will provide a level of safety greater than that which would be
provided if the young children were held in the arms of adults or if
safety belts alone were used.'' (57 FR 42664) (emphasis mine)
One other thing to consider besides safety (safety being first, of course) is that planes have other passengers that parents and staff need to try to be considerate of.
As a passenger, I appreciate your consideration. But I find it unnecessary. As a parent, my child's safety will always, always, always come first. And I expect the same from other parents. If your child is screaming to get out of her carseat, I will give you a pat on the back for keeping her there. Some people will complain. I really couldn't care less about those people.

No, of course that's not true... I don't want them to be miserable. But if it's a choice between them having an unpleasant flight or me risking the serious injury or death of my child just because it's more comfortable or convenient, it's a no-brainer. I will do whatever it takes to lessen the impact on other passengers. I will stop her from kicking your seat, even if means I have to hold her legs down myself during the entire trip, and I will do everything I can to keep her quiet, even if it means feeding her M&Ms for the entire trip. But I will NOT compromise on the carseat.
On our plane trip 2 weeks ago, my almost-2 year old was on my lap for landing and there were extra seats available, so a flight attendant 'yelled at' me and berated me asking if I put her in a car seat at home
It sounds like the FA was rude, and that was uncalled for. But she was right -your child would be safer in a carseat.
and reminding me that we were going 500 MPH (I refer back to a pp who mentioned - at 500 MPH is it really going to matter? I agree not so much).
That's simply incorrect. There have been several posts, in this thread and others, pointing out that a carseat DOES make a difference. Most crashes are survivable. And children in carseats are more likely to survive than lap babies.
I like to try to be considerate to those around me but if someone could prove to me that she is considerably safer in a car seat - I would choose that first.
I just have never been able to find conclusive studies or numbers.
See above. And see also this position paper from the
Association of Flight Attendants, which says in part
In July, 1994 during the fatal crash of a USAir plane in Charlotte, North Carolina, another unrestrained infant was killed when her mother could not hold onto her on impact. The available seat next to the mother survived the crash intact. The National Transportation Safety Board believes that had the baby been secured in that seat, she would have been alive today. In fact, in a FAA study on accident survivability, the agency found that of the last nine infant deaths, five could have survived had they been in child restraint devices. (emphasis mine)
The type of studies you're looking for may not exist. But there is plenty of evidence showing that children in a CRS are much more likely to survive a crash than those who are held in their parents laps, and that smaller children are safer in a CRS than in an adult seatbelt.