Can't belive she said this! - VENT

[1stluvispooh]

Ok I have a group of girl friends, there are 8 of us. We get together once a month for lunch, everyone brings something and it's at someones house or during the summer a park. So like 2 years ago 2 friend said that they wanted to go on a cruise just the girls. First I thought it was just the 2 of them but no the meant all of us. Well in December we decided that we should go this coming November. So last month we were all to come with info that we had come up with. As we sat down to discuss this one of the originators of this idea was like, I don't think I will be able to go because her youngest will be in kindergarten (half day here) and hubby doesn't have enough vacation. Well first of all hubby works for the government and no at the begging of the year he has no time but come November he will have like 4 weeks. Anyway we were all like what about having a neighbor, other friend, or your mom to watch the kids. Everyone else already has there people pretty much lined up to watch the kids, (some of us just told DH to take half day 'cause we will be gone! ) So we left it with she didn't know if she was going and I it looked like it was going to be an uneven number of people. I said that I have a friend who would be glad to come and we could ask her at the last minute. Her kids are grown but is a fun person. So a couple of days ago an e-mail went out saying that someone who wasn't at lunch last month couldn't make it for money reasons. Someone else said so sorry. Hey I have 4 friends that want to go with us. Will this give us enough people for a group discount?? Now the originally girl who didn't know if she was going to make it because of kids and DH vacation e-mails everyone saying she does not want to have other people to go with us!! I couldn't believe it. I feel like: 1) the more the merrier. 2) It's not like we are going to be attached at the hip. 3) We are all mom's and we need to support each other. If coming with us gives them an excuse to get a much deserved break from their kids come on!

I can't believe her!! Well anyway I just needed to vent.

 

[agnes!]

Who died and made her Queen of the Universe? And besides, she's not even sure she's going!


agnes!

 

[1stluvispooh]

Who died and made her Queen of the Universe? And besides, she's not even sure she's going!


agnes!

I know! I think she is trying to get attention. To me she seems to be doing things like this just to get attention lately.

 

[kimmar067]

...technically, no one can stop your friends (or anyone else's, for that matter) from booking a trip on that cruise. What's the big deal if other people go? Personally, I'd want to have another pow-wow REAL SOON to discuss who is DEFINITELY going and not going. Then, have a RELIABLE person to be the spokesperson for the group to get a group rate (find out exactly how many constitutes a 'group') and work from thre...

 

[shortbun]

Just respond to all and say, 'I don't care who goes as long as it's not husbands or kids, lol!' and don't mention it again. Has she actually committed to going anyway?

 

[sparklynails23]

On a cruise, the more people that go, the more fun it will be.

 

[Disney Doll]

I wouldn't allow someone who was not going on the vacation to dictate what was going to happen on the vacation.

 

[disykat]

I agree that if she isn't going, she doesn't have a say. If she is going, can she still back out since the circumstances have changed so much? Maybe I'm the minority here, but if I were going on a cruise with friends (which would be a huge deal to me, financially and otherwise) and all of a sudden it turned into going with a group of strangers - I would not be happy and would consider backing out if there was still time to do so. I guess I feel like I could go on any cruise I want with strangers, I thought the point was going to spend time with your friends?

Going on a cruise with 7 close friends sounds fun to me. Going on a cruise with with a large group, half of whom I don't know, is a whole different thing IMO. I probably wouldn't have chosen to make the sacrifices required to go under those circumstances.

 

[MM27]

She does realize that she will not have the whole cruise ship to herself right?

It sounds like she doesn't want to share the attention of her friends with other people. She might not even see these people other than during dinners or other times when you all choose to get together. Sad that people need to be like this.

 

[Wishing on a star]

I agree that, at this point, the cruise is practically 'open enrollment'.

The one previous poster is right - to get any discount, there will need to be a leader or planner(S) here. (at this point, not a job I would be seeking!!!!) I would suggest a pair of the women, so that it is not one person, queen of the universe, I am in charge....

If there are no set plans, with no set planner, then it really is an un-planned free-for-all. Like a prev. poster said... Really, anyone can book a passage on that cruise, thru any travel agent or venue that they wish.

I do have to say, though, that if a group is an established group of friends, when planning anything like this, then I think I should be established up front whether it is 'just for us'. Either that, or most everyone should agree up front in whether 'outsiders', women that they may never have met, should be welcomed. I don't think one or two people should just assume - Hey, it is fine if my friend(s) so-and-so come along.

In this case, if the person who started leading all of this seems to be canceling out, then a new leader/planner needs to step forward, take charge, start from point one, establish with everyone else if other women are indeed welcome... and the RUN with it...

In this position, it is extremely important to establish the plans, definite deadlines, payments due, etc.... Again, this is a two edged sword, as it becomes mixing business with pleasure.

The way most cruises work, if one books 8 cabins (min. of 16 person's, dbl occupancy), all linked together, then one cabin is free. The planner(s) can either take that cabin as compensation for their efforts... or they can establish a discounted rate that reflects the savings of the free cabin divided up between everyone. (A small discount, but a discount nonetheless) In either case, I think the planner(s) would be responsible for getting a commitment, down payment, etc... from everyone else, and then booking the cabins.

I think if it were me, I would make sure a couple of the others wanted to go for sure... research the cheapest rates (not bothering with the 8 cabin minimum, which could really cost just as much or more in the end) and say to everyone, Hey, we are going! Here are the dates! Here are the cheapest rates I could find.... Here is where to book. Then, you hope for the best, and let the chips fall where they may.

It sounds like this wonderful girl's getaway cruise idea has become a bit like herding cats!

 

[ShootingStarMom2]

Yikes! Green-eyed monster alert!

This is exactly why I won't travel with friends.

 

[Wishing on a star]

oops! double post??????

 

[momrek06]

So what were the responses from all the other girls in the original group to THAT email??

AND did the girl sending the email state whether she can even go yet??

I am totally with the MORE THE MERRIER and the fact you will be getting a DISCOUNT!!!!!!

 

[Amy&Dan]

I think all women have a friend or two who is like this! I have one friend who basically will dictate who comes to someone else's house if left to her own devices. She and her husband pretty much can't stand about 50% of all people and even the chosen few they want invited to stuff can be nuked if they get it in their heads they are sick of those people.

This gal said to me not long ago we should plan some sort of girls trip to Vegas or up to one of the spa resorts in the mountains. I basically told her I don't have enough energy to deal with all that hassle.

I hope it works out, above all do NOT let this person get things so messed up none of you end up going!

 

[Mermaid02]

Who died and made her Queen of the Universe? And besides, she's not even sure she's going!


agnes!

LOL- Yeah, she's not the boss of you..... take whomever you like...

I agree that if she isn't going, she doesn't have a say. If she is going, can she still back out since the circumstances have changed so much? Maybe I'm the minority here, but if I were going on a cruise with friends (which would be a huge deal to me, financially and otherwise) and all of a sudden it turned into going with a group of strangers - I would not be happy and would consider backing out if there was still time to do so. I guess I feel like I could go on any cruise I want with strangers, I thought the point was going to spend time with your friends?

Going on a cruise with 7 close friends sounds fun to me. Going on a cruise with with a large group, half of whom I don't know, is a whole different thing IMO. I probably wouldn't have chosen to make the sacrifices required to go under those circumstances.

I'd look at it as an opportunity to meet some new friends too- what's wrong with that?

 

[1stluvispooh]

Just respond to all and say, 'I don't care who goes as long as it's not husbands or kids, lol!' and don't mention it again. Has she actually committed to going anyway?

I heard through the grape vine ie other friends that once she left last month that she called her mom and her mom said she would watch the girls for her. I however DID NOT HEAR THIS FROM HER. My evil twin wants to e-mail her and say "I thought you weren't coming."

 

[1stluvispooh]

She does realize that she will not have the whole cruise ship to herself right?

It sounds like she doesn't want to share the attention of her friends with other people. She might not even see these people other than during dinners or other times when you all choose to get together. Sad that people need to be like this.

I think you hit the nail on the head. To me as of late, the past 8 months or so she seems to want to be the center of attention. But that is JMO

 

[disykat]

I still don't get why people are being so hard on this woman. She doesn't want to go since it is no longer just a close group of friends going. What's the big deal? At this point it sounds like it's down to 6 people she knows and 5 people she doesn't? Why is it so "wrong" for her to not want to go under those circumstances?

Originally she was probably envisioning lots of time spent together. Now it is becoming more realistic that everyone will go off with the friends they brought and maybe all meet for dinner. This is a whole different trip. Why is it not okay for her to no longer be interested since the trip plan has changed?

 

[1stluvispooh]

So what were the responses from all the other girls in the original group to THAT email??

AND did the girl sending the email state whether she can even go yet??

I am totally with the MORE THE MERRIER and the fact you will be getting a DISCOUNT!!!!!!

That's the funny thing. No one has e-mailed a response to that. (I'm not because I can't guarantee at this time that my evil twin won't be doing the typing. Personally can't wait to go to the gym tomorrow and run into at least one of the other girls.

 

[disykat]

I'd look at it as an opportunity to meet some new friends too- what's wrong with that?

There's nothing wrong with that, it's just not something every person wants to spend their vacation doing.