Canadian Buffoon's Hi Low Vacation - South Central Musings

[pkondz]

Savage Creatures.

Before we begin, I just want to say
how terrible that tragic mauling was!
They do say that hippos are the most
dangerous animal in Africa,
and after seeing the video,
I can certainly see why!


That poor man! Being attacked like that!
I'm sure the last thing anyone would want
is a hippo biting down on your leg!!!


I'm going to post it, but if you have a sensitive
stomach or a weak constitution
or simply an intolerance to violence,
I encourage you to look away.









I'm warning you.

















No kidding!

















Last chance!!!!



So be it.

Oh, God... the horror.
I may never get in the water again.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

We got up at eight am.
And when I say "we", I mean "me".
The alarm went off,
and after I silenced it,
Ruby rolled over and went back to sleep.

Which was totally fine.
We weren't going anywhere for hours.

So why was I up?
Well... two reasons.

One was, I wanted to take some photos of the mall.
For you people.
The things I do for you!

Really, am I not wonderful?
Tell me I am and.... nothing.
Too easy of a cop out for bonus points.

But tell me I'm amazing and you'll get some.




The other reason was,
I wanted to charge up the batteries.
My camera comes with an extra adapter
that allows me to shoot with two batteries.
When one dies, the camera automatically
switches over to the other one.
So I could charge one battery while
shooting mall shots.

Win, win!


I took out my shiny new charger and...


The battery wouldn't fit.
What the? But the sales dude said it would!
And they've never steered me wrong.

Hmmmm..... oh.
I knew what had happened.
My own dang fault.


When I had unpackaged it back home,
I had ripped it open and tossed it
into the suitcase.

But it's a third party charger.
Designed to charge a bunch
of different battery types.
I'd not noticed at the time
that there were removable adapters
that came with it.
And I didn't have the right one.


Well.... this is... problematic.


I had one battery that was fully charged
and another that was more than half full.
If I didn't go crazy with photos,
I could possibly stretch it out
for the whole trip.
(Five days.)

Or so I hoped.

Oh, well, no sense crying over
uncharged batteries.
I set out to take some mall photos.
(But not too many.)


I basically just wandered around a bit.
I knew of a few spots that I wanted to shoot,
so it wasn't entirely random.
And it was certainly easy doing so
when the mall wasn't open for business yet.


I sashayed over to the mini golf.
It's not the greatest,
and I remember playing it about
140 years ago.

They didn't have real putters back then.
We used petrified snakes.
And acorns instead of golf balls.
Still... any mini golf is better than real golf.
Right @Captain_Oblivious ?


I walked past the food court
and took a quick, crappy photo.
I'm sharing it with you because
I have a mean streak and I just
feel like torturing you.

I then sashayed from one ubiquitous mall sight
to another.
Every mall has a replica of the Santa Maria in it, right?
(Yes... that Santa Maria.)

Trivia:
Most people know that Columbus sailed with
three ships: The Nina, the Pinta and the Santa Maria.
But did you know there were actually four ships?
It's true! The Quarta.

It's not mentioned as often owing to the fact
that it did not survive the voyage.

It sailed off the edge of the world and was destroyed
with the loss of all hands.

Tragic.

Center left in the above photo,
you can see a sign for the Sea Lion show.
I remember watching dolphins there,
but not anymore. Long gone.

Also of note, see the two "islands"?
Until 2005, you could board a submarine
that would take you on a looped track past those islands
and around the Galleon.
Under the islands were aquariums to peer into.
The subs are gone now, unfortunately,
having been removed, finally, in 2012.

(What it looked like... back in the day.)

The other end of the food court:

I kept sashaying along,
shooting pictures when the mood struck.
Bearing in mind my rapidly dwindling
battery charge and grasp on reality.

The large body of water in the water park
is a wave pool.
The one Ruby almost drowned in...
and I was too busy laughing at her to save her.


It may have been the first time either of us
had ever been in a wave pool.
We were both walking into it when the waves started.
I was slightly ahead of her, watching the waves.
A wave would come and I'd hop up and ride it up
and down the other side.
The waves got bigger as we went deeper.
Walk, walk, walk, jump! Fun!
Repeat.

I turned to see if Ruby was having as much fun
as I was and....
What the heck was she doing back there?

So..... apparently, no one had told her,
and she didn't realize...
that you had to jump up and over the waves.

So the first time a wave came,
it knocked her down and sent her spinning.

The next wave that came... she opened her mouth
to say "Oh no!"...
And she'd get knocked down, spun around...
and a mouthful of water.

So basically we were:
Me: walk, walk, walk, jump! "Whee!" <repeat>
Ruby: walk, walk, walk, "oh no!" slam!, spin, choke, die <repeat>

Oddly enough, she's not as keen on wave pools as I am now.


This photo is taken down "Bourbon St."
The aisle that has all the restaurants
(including the one we visited.)

And it being a Canadian mall...
it has to have a hockey rink.

I mean... come on.

And one last shot.
Sorry for the quality,
but the theme park wasn't open yet
and that's about the best I could do.

Plus I didn't feel like doing better.
So there's that…

You can just make out
part of the coaster track
and the merry-go-round.

Around this time, I figured Ruby would be getting up,
so I grabbed a Danish and a muffin for breakfast.
I got back to the room and sure enough,
she was up and getting ready.

I let her pick her pastry,
and unfortunately she picked the Danish.
Dang.


Oh, well. The trials and tribulations of marriage.


Once she had eaten and gotten ready...
We headed back out into the mall
so she could do some shopping.
Window or otherwise.

This, like most men feel, is my favourite activity.
I love wandering the mall,
popping into women's clothing stores
and just standing and waiting.


I live for this.

Actually, I really didn't mind.
She was enjoying herself
and that's all that mattered.

I would occasionally just relax
outside the store
(Did you know that mall benches
are made just for these occasions?)
and people watch.

And I really lucked out at one time.

By now the mall was coming alive
and there were several seniors
skating on the rink.
Two ladies especially caught my eye.
They took turns as one, then the other,
would skate backwards while the other
guided her. It was a really sweet scene.

Another time, while Ruby shopped
I grabbed a Gelato and munched as I waited.
Gotta keep the sugar levels up ya know.
Sitting around takes work.

So really... not a bad way to spend a morning.


And if you're wondering,
Ruby did wind up buying a couple
of sweaters.
I even bought myself some new oven mitts.
(Also high on the list of things guys do.)


Around 11:30am we headed back to our room
so we could pack up our purchases
and check out before the noon kick out time.

Plus, we had a four hour drive ahead of us.

But not before a quick pit stop at...

I mean... I can't just leave Edmonton
without a poker chip now can I???
Well... and a T-shirt too apparently.
I don't always get one, it has to appeal.
But yesterday, Ruby says to me.
"Where's that shirt from?"
I didn't remember so I turned my back to her.
(No, it's okay. That's where the location is indicated.)

That... and I'm just naturally rude.
@Steppesister and @franandaj ….
You’ll see.
Heck. Just ask anyone who’s met me!

Anyway…


"Oh." She says. "That's from Edmonton."

Huh.

So I bought a T-shirt in Edmonton, too.
Apparently.

We left Edmonton not long after noon.
And... it's a gorgeous drive to Jasper.
And... I was driving, so you'll see....
practically zero photos.

But I did make a couple of stops.
We drove over the Pembina river
and I knew I had to get a photo.

So I walked back to about
the middle of the bridge and...
a troop of boy scouts escorted
me across the road.

Do you know how much of a pain it was,
having to fight may way back across traffic??

And… I’M NOT THAT OLD!!
(You. In the back. Shut. Up.)

I mean, how freaking picturesque is that???

We made a couple of stops along the way.
First was at an A&W.
The A&W chain in Canada has been
unaffiliated with the US chain since 1972.
Ours sell mainly burgers.
You can't find any with hot dogs anymore
I don’t think.
But they do still have the best Root Beer
(for a fast food chain type restaurant)
and the onion rings are good.

Neither of us were starving
so Ruby just got rings and a Diet Coke
while I had a chicken wrap and a Root Beer.
I must admit to being a bit disappointed.

The drinks came in take-out cups.
Not every A&W uses the frosty mugs.

Tragic.

As we sat and munched,
the formerly empty A&W
quickly filled with customers.

We're quite used to this.
It really doesn't matter when we eat,
or where we go...
We always bring in a crowd.

It's almost eerie.
A place will be dead,
we'll walk in, turn around...
and there's a line up behind us.

Places should be paying us
to come to their stores.


Seriously.


After our snack,
we stopped in the town of Edson
to grab some stuff to keep for
the next few days.
Wanting to eat a bit healthier,
I snagged a veggie tray and dip
and some orange juice.
(And some caramels. Don't judge.)
A crowd formed behind us.

After getting some gas in Hinton,
(where a line-up of cars soon formed.)
we continued on our way.

Our first glimpse of the Rockies.

Well..... no.
But it is the first place I stopped
to take a photo of them.

Close enough.

We arrived in Jasper at ten after five in the afternoon.
Or is that early evening by then?
Bonus points for giving me your opinion.

Moments later, we arrived at our destination,
Bear Hill Lodge
Sorry, you'll have to wait a bit
for a photo of the "Lodge".
But I did take pictures
of our accommodations.

How cute is that?

Admit it.
You want to stay there, don't you.
Actually... I'm kinda curious.
Some of you are going
"aaaaawwwww!!!"
Some of you are recoiling in horror.

Let me know where you stand
and I'll toss you a few bonus points.


After lugging in the suitcases
(but not the food. It was cool enough
that I left it in the trunk.
Nature's refrigerator.)
we decided to walk around town.

I'm warning you now,
I had long ago decided that I
wasn't going to be a slave to this TR.
If I felt like taking photos, I did.
If I felt like just wandering and enjoying...
I did that too.

So unfortunately, you will see very few
(if any!) shots of Jasper itself.

But don't worry.
I'm here to save the day.

Click here to be dropped off in the middle of Jasper

You're welcome.

And it was while walking along the main street
that I made a fatal error.
People, I can't stress how big a mistake this was.

I.... I almost can't talk about it.
Oh, God! The horror!

Come on pkondz... they need to know.
If only as a cautionary tale for the unwary...


All right.
I'll tell you.

I.... I....

I WALKED INTO A GIFT SHOP!!

There! I said it!


And right now, you're wondering
what the big deal is, right?
"So what?" You're thinking.
"Every ride at Disney ends in a gift shop."

Yes, true, but...
Ruby was quite content to just
walk along with me and let me lead.
But once I made that egregious error...
Ruby made a point of going into...
Every. Single. Gift shop.

Some, more than once.

And Jasper has a lot of gift shops.


Oh, the horror.

Eventually extricating Ruby
from the plethora of gift shops
that line the main drag,
we decided that we were... starving.
We'd had nothing all day except
for a danish or muffin
and our snack at A&W.

Time for some real food.

Usually when we travel,
I'll do a bunch of research
and frequently know
where the best places to eat are.

I just didn't feel like it on this trip.
I had done a minimal amount of research...
And restaurants weren't part of it.
I was…. Pretty burned out.

Which resulted in us repeating endlessly:
"Wanna eat here?"
"I dunno."
"Let's keep looking."

Eventually we stumbled on a tiny place
called Famoso.
Hmmm…. “Wood fired Pizza”…

We decided that this was it.
I mean... pizza, right?

And... we chose wisely.
I've since discovered that
TripAdvisor gives this place
4.5 stars out of 5.

And yes, the wood fired pizzas
were very good!

Ruby had a Margherita while I settled on
ham, mushroom and sun-dried tomatoes.
(And Ruby had her usual, a red wine Sangria
while I decided to just have a Limoncello.
Sue me for not drinking an alcoholic beverage.
I didn’t feel like it.)

After eating, we walked around for a bit
and then decided to head back to our cabin.

We turned down a street and I stopped dead.
Just up ahead was:

A full grown bull elk.
Right smack in the middle of the road...
that we had to go down.

Now these critters are herbivores.
Basically big cows, right?
And I've eaten elk.
Tasty.
So no big deal, other than
the novelty of having one
in the middle of town.

Except these particular cows
can easily kill a person.

Those antlers aren't for show.
And this ain't no domesticated cow.

Now that big boy
was right where we needed to go.
So I wasn't quite sure what to do.

The elk stopped at the stop sign
and turned right.

He did not use a turn signal.

I hate bad drivers
Come to think of it, I’ve never seen
an elk use a turn signal.

Naturally, we had to turn right at
the stop sign too.... so we followed.

From a distance.

At first.

The elk would amble along for a short bit
and then stop for a second and bellow.
If you've never heard it before...
it's the weirdest sound.
I took a quick video if you want to hear it.
I pressed record just as it started
so the video begins just a split second
after he starts.
Click here to see a 3 second video

Because he would stop and do that
every few seconds, we soon caught up.
I wasn't too concerned since he was
on one side of the street and we were
on the other side... separated by parked cars.

I figured as long as I kept cars between
him and us, we'd be fine.

No. That's not zoomed in.
We were that close.

We got.... a little too close.


After a couple of blocks,
a park ranger vehicle approached
from the opposite direction..
Obviously, you can't have full grown
elk running around town.

Dead tourists are not good for the economy.
They don’t go in the gift shops.

The truck approached the elk and bleated
it's siren at it.

<BLIP! BLEEP! BIP! BLIP! BIP!>

The elk wasn't frightened into
a full grown panic,
but it did get the hint.


It crossed the street.
You know.
Where we were.


Ummm......


Ruby grabbed my arm in panic.
I grabbed her arm.
I wasn't unduly worried,
but I didn't want her to try
and run from this thing.

The elk trotted across the road towards us
and entered the sidewalk by the front of
a parked car.
We were at the back of that car.
As it stepped onto the sidewalk,
I stepped into the road,
pulling Ruby along by the arm.
The elk turned towards us
and trotted down the length of the car.
I rounded the back bumper,
keeping a firm grip on Ruby and pulled her along,
keeping the car between us and the elk.

It kept going.
By the time it was passing the rear
passenger side bumper,
we were at the driver side front bumper.

The park ranger followed it,
I presume until it left town.

We walked the rest of the way
back to our cabin unchallenged.

And for the rest of the walk,
I kept a look out
for bears or cougars or dinosaurs.
Oh my!

That's right!
I'm a man!
I can hide in terror like the best of them!
Oh, yeah!

We made it back to the cabin
without encountering any further
ferocious beasts.
We watched a bit of TV
and then turned in for the night.





Contest

Did you see it last update?
Marvin demanding to know
why the plane is late:
(center left)

Answers to previous questions:
1. What time do we get up?
Answer: 8am
Nailed it: 10 points. +/-30 4 points. +/-60 2 points
2. Do I charge my camera
in the morning or wait til later?
Answer: Later. No choice - 4 points.
3. I grab a snack.
Gelato, Ice cream, or slush?
Answer: Gelato - 6 points.
4. Edmonton Harley.
Do I get my poker chip?
Answer: Yup! 4 points.
5. 5. We grab lunch at a fast food place.
A&W, McDonalds, Wendy's or Burger King?
Answer: A&W - 6 points.
6. Our next destination
is about a four hour drive away.
What time do we get there?
Answer: 5:10pm
+/-10, 10 points. +/-20, 8 points. +/-30, 6 points. +/- 60 4 points.
7. What common food do we have
for dinner?
Answer: Pizza! - 6 points.

Bonus points for comments on the bike: 4 points.
Bonus points for picturing the quesadilla: 4 points.
Bonus points for seeing Marvin: 4 points.

Terra Nova guy - 7:45, morning, gelato, yes, A&W, 2pm, pasta, quesadilla, Marvin - 28 points.
rndmr2 - 7:00, later, gelato, yes, McD, 2pm, pizza, bike, Marvin - 30 points.
afwdwfan - 7:30, later, ice cream, yes, Wendy's, 2pm, salad, bike, quesadilla, Marvin - 24 points.
Curiouser&curiouser! - 7:00, later, Gelato, yes, BK, 2:30pm, pizza, bike, quesadilla - 30 points.
Captain_Oblivious - 7:00, morning, Gelato, yes, A&W, 4:37, burgers, bike, quesadilla, Marvin - 34 points
SoccerDogWithEars - bike - 4 points.
cinderkelly - plate, 6:30, wait, slush, yes, Wendy's, 1:00, spaghetti, bike, Marvin - 20 points.
Mac Brew - 7:00, now, Gelato, yes, A&W, 1:00, Chinese, bike, Marvin - 26 points.
irene_dsc - 7:15, morning, Gelato, yes, Wendy's, 2pm, Italian (partial points), bike, quesadilla, Marvin - 26 points.
DonnaBeeGood - 6:30, yes, Gelato, yes, A&W, 2:00, Pizza, bike, quesadilla, Marvin - 34 points.
MAGICFOR2 - 9:00, later, Gelato, yes, A&W, 5:30, spaghetti, bike, Marvin - 38 points. (high score!)
Mrs T 2009 - 7:15, morning, Gelato, yes, Wendy's, 6:30, pasta, marvin - 16 points.
Steppesister - 7:30, morning, Gelato, yes, Wendy's, 6:00, pizza, bike, quesadilla, Marvin - 36 points.
franandaj - 7:00, morning, Gelato, yes, A&W, 3:30, chicken, bike, quesadilla, Marvin - 30 points.
orangecats2 - 7:00, morning, slush, yes, Wendy's, 5:00, pizza, bike, quesadilla, Marvin - 34 points.
mustinjourney - 7:00, later, Gelato, yes, Wendy's, 3:00, pizza, bike, Marvin - 30 points.
juniorbugman - 7:30, morning, slush, yes, A&W, 5:00, pasta, bike, Marvin - 32 points.


As usual, if I've made any mistakes,
either above or below, let me know.

Bonus points
Terra Nova guy - 2 points for being in the club.
Curiouser&curiouser! - 4 points for nailing the charger.
Captain_Oblivious - 3 points for being such a card.
cinderkelly - 4 points for Lambo.
irene_dsc - 2 points for knowing who's cool.
afwdwfan - 3 points for some chrap.
DonnaBeeGood - 6 points for being hot tub worthy.
MAGICFOR2 - 2 points 'cause even nerds like Harleys.
Steppesister - 3 points for the slap. 50 points if I get that PM.
franandaj - 2 points for good eyes. 2 points for sleep deprivation... ahem.
orangecats2 - 2 points for taking me for a ride.
mustinjourney - 2 points for reviving the past. 4 points for sound effects.
Tracy161 - 2 points for knowing I'm an old fart. 4 points for WHOAZA.
8 points for popular names.
juniorbugman - 4 points for having a can crush.

Side bet: mustinjourney + 10 or – 20 : Keg


Score

Steppesister - 329 points
orangecats2 - 307 points
franandaj - 302 points
Captain_Oblivious - 282 points
DISNEYMOON10121991 -252 points
DonnaBeeGood - 250 points
irene_dsc - 236 points
juniorbugman - 227 points
Terra Nova guy - 225 points
Mac Brew - 214 points
rndmr2 - 211 points
MAGICFOR2 - 209 points
mustinjourney - 200 points
Thumper_Man's Wife - 189 points
Thumper_Man - 185 points
Gracefulskinny - 183 points
Mrs T 2009 - 183 points
Chrystmasangel - 177 points
Curiouser&curiouser! - 176 points
fallonkendra - 171 points
cinderkelly - 168 points
afwdwfan - 162 points
DaisyDuck001 - 154 points
GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes - 143 points
jandlinz - 140 points
queenbetsey - 135 points
chookie94 - 122 points
Heluvsme - 96 points
bankr63 - 87 points
tashers - 84 points
chillitsanne - 57 points
Princess Leia - 44 points
natebenma - 39 points
SoccerDogWithEars - 34 points
SnowWhiteOz - 30 points
vrajewski10513 - 30 points
kaileighbug - 28 points
krnelson65 - 22 points
lisaviolet - 18 points
Tracy161 - 14 points
MHSweb79 - 13 points
QueenJen - 10 points
cindianne320 - 4 points
DizzneyDi - 4 points
Ladyfish77 - 4 points
MarieLightning - 4 points
KathyM2 - 3 points
Self_resqing_princz - 2 points


Questions, next round:

1. Sure. Why not. It's a trend.
What time do we get up?

2. Do we go in a gift shop?

3. We watch a movie.
In a theater? On the TV? On the iPad?

4. Elk. We see more.
In town or out?

5. Haven't asked this for a while.
Do I get asked for directions?
Of course I do.
How many times?
I'll narrow it down.
Less than five times.

6. How do I get revenge
on that elk?

7. Are these chapters too long?


Did you see it?
I hope not!
Because I didn't do one this round.

But... for bonus points.
How hard did you try to find
something anyway???

And, just for looking...
Bonus photo for ya:

Keep on rollin' everyone.



Coming up: A little sashay.

Chapter 12. Mini pre-trip real life update​

 

[orangecats2]

Really, am I not wonderful?

Of course you are! I mean you're taking me to Disney one day right?

We arrived in Jasper at ten after five in the afternoon.
Or is that early evening by then?
Bonus points for giving me your opinion.

5:00 is late afternoon. 6:00 is early evening. You can't be wrong!

Let me know where you stand
and I'll toss you a few bonus points.

I was squinting at the photos!

I'll come back for other bonus questions later!

Can anyone beat Steppe at this point?

 

[pkondz]

Of course you are! I mean you're taking me to Disney one day right?

Sure!
I'm always happy to take someone
who pays all my expenses!

5:00 is late afternoon. 6:00 is early evening. You can't be wrong!

You're right.

I was squinting at the photos!

Time to invest in a good magnifying glass.
(or zoom in.... nah...)

I'll come back for other bonus questions later!

Standing by.

Can anyone beat Steppe at this point?

Oh, yeah.
Still plenty of points up for grabs.
If she slips up...

 

[Tracy161]

You may be pleased to know I am all caught up! And wow, this TR did NOT disappoint! Please tell me you'll be reporting after Kay's sweet 16 celebration?!

 

[pkondz]

You may be pleased to know I am all caught up!

And you survived???
Do you feel faint at all?
Do you need to lie down?

And wow, this TR did NOT disappoint!

Awww.... Thanks!

Please tell me you'll be reporting after Kay's sweet 16 celebration?!

Oh... almost certainly.
But I won't be bringing
the big camera this time.
Just the point n shoot.

 

[Mrs T 2009]

1. 8am

2.no. the previous days gift shopping extravaganza was enough.

3. in a theater.

4. out

5. 3 times

6. oh geez. My brain is apparently not working fast enough to think up something right now.

7. Nope. not too long.

But... for bonus points.
How hard did you try to find
something anyway???
::I barely looked. The thought crossed my mind to look, but only for two photos. Usually, I notice right away-if I notice at all.

The mall looks cool! Add that to my must see list.
That picture WAS picturesque!
You're amazing- letting Ruby choose the Danish!
And I can't believe you went into a gift shop!!

 

[pkondz]

1. 8am

2.no. the previous days gift shopping extravaganza was enough.

3. in a theater.

4. out

5. 3 times

6. oh geez. My brain is apparently not working fast enough to think up something right now.

7. Nope. not too long.

Noted.

But... for bonus points.
How hard did you try to find
something anyway???
::I barely looked. The thought crossed my mind to look, but only for two photos. Usually, I notice right away-if I notice at all.

Okay.

The mall looks cool! Add that to my must see list.

How big is that list now?

That picture WAS picturesque!

See? I told you!

You're amazing- letting Ruby choose the Danish!

I should be in the hubby hall of fame, right?
"Man gives up danish. Sainthood to follow."

And I can't believe you went into a gift shop!!

It was a serious error in judgement.

 

[mustinjourney]

Questions, next round:

1. Sure. Why not. It's a trend.
What time do we get up?

2. Do we go in a gift shop?

3. We watch a movie.
In a theater? On the TV? On the iPad?

4. Elk. We see more.
In town or out?

5. Haven't asked this for a while.
Do I get asked for directions?
Of course I do.
How many times?
I'll narrow it down.
Less than five times.

6. How do I get revenge
on that elk?

7. Are these chapters too long?


Did you see it?
I hope not!
Because I didn't do one this round.

But... for bonus points.
How hard did you try to find
something anyway???

I knew I should have guessed A&W! Would have been tied for first place this round.

1. 7:45 am
2. yes -- more than one.
3. I'll guess theater.
4. see more elk in town.
5. 3 times
6. eat elk at some meal?
7. Nope

bonus -- did not see it -- and I did start looking carefully. Glad you told us, or I might have gone crazy.

 

[pkondz]

I knew I should have guessed A&W! Would have been tied for first place this round.

Always go with your gut.

Except when you shouldn't.

1. 7:45 am
2. yes -- more than one.
3. I'll guess theater.
4. see more elk in town.
5. 3 times
6. eat elk at some meal?
7. Nope

Noted.

bonus -- did not see it -- and I did start looking carefully. Glad you told us, or I might have gone crazy.

Maybe I should've just posted:
"Did you see it?"

I've actually thought of doing that.
But I took pity on my readers.

 

[Mac Brew]

Hi Pkondz
Good update as usual.Being from across the pond I didn't relies that Christopher Columbus got up as far as Canada just goes to show what you can learn on the dis forums.Looking for some bonus points Ten past five i would class as early evening but I have been known to be wrong. You seemed to be surprised to see the moose I thought they were quite common over the rural areas of Canada.Gift shops once you have been in one do you really have to visit more. You got me I was looking for something in your photos normally look more than once good job you told us saved going back over the photos to see what I had missed the first time.

 

[rndmr2]

Great update!

You are amazing!!

Sorry about your charger

WOW! That's quite the mall! Would love to see it someday.

Oh, God... the horror.
I may never get in the water again.

Love the baby Hippo!! I have seen a couple videos of him online, he's too cute

Beautiful Picture!!

(And some caramels. Don't judge.)

No Judgement here. LOVE Caramel!!

Cute cabin!

Some of you are going
"aaaaawwwww!!!"
Some of you are recoiling in horror.

Let me know where you stand
and I'll toss you a few bonus points.

I am in the "aaaaawwwww!" camp

OMG I would pass out!

1. Sure. Why not. It's a trend.
What time do we get up?---------8am

2. Do we go in a gift shop?-----------yes (maybe even more than one

3. We watch a movie.
In a theater? On the TV? On the iPad?---------on the TV

4. Elk. We see more.
In town or out?------------------------in town

5. Haven't asked this for a while.
Do I get asked for directions?
Of course I do.
How many times?
I'll narrow it down.
Less than five times.----------------3 x

6. How do I get revenge
on that elk?-------------------call the authorities

7. Are these chapters too long?-----------------No


Did you see it?
I hope not!
Because I didn't do one this round.

But... for bonus points.
How hard did you try to find
something anyway???--------------I looked but not real hard, I usually have to go back after the contest questions come up.

And, just for looking...
Bonus photo for ya:-----That seal (?) is too funny, I was a little concerned he might be hurt after going over all those rocks.

 

[Curiouser&curiouser!]

OH, the horror! I will never look at a hippo again the same way!! Ha!

Great update from such an amazing trip report writer!

Cool mall. Was it creepy when no one was there? It must have been eerily quiet compared to when it's open?

My Dad used to have what my Mom calls 'Mall Face' whenever he was bored from shopping!! It's a thing!

Talk about some beautiful scenery all around! Must have been nice for a mini road trip!

Anything after 5pm is officially 'early evening' in my book.

THE HOUSE IS SO CUTE! I totally want to stay there!

Crazy elk animal encounter you had there. You can't pay for experiences like that!!

And my guesses:
1. 8am.
2. Most definitely. At least one more.
3. Yes. In a theater.
4. Yes, out of town.
5. 3 times.
6. You have some elk for dinner!
7. Naw. I read it, didn't I?

 

[Mac Brew]

My answers to the latest questions

1. 07:30 wake up time.
2. Yes to a gift shop could have got a mug to drink out of.
3. Watch the movie on your TV in your holiday cabin.
4.see more elk in the town
5.Get asked for directions twice
6 As you come back from your drive the elk was in the road so you blew your horn gave him a fright.
7.Your chapters are not too long.

Could stay in the log cabin would like to use the wood burner as well.

 

[irene_dsc]

But tell me I'm amazing and you'll get some.

So amazing for all the work you put into your TRs!

Oh, well, no sense crying over
uncharged batteries.
I set out to take some mall photos.

And, maybe you can find some batteries at the mall!

And it was certainly easy doing so
when the mall wasn't open for business yet.

Except for that little detail.

Every mall has a replica of the Santa Maria in it, right?
(Yes... that Santa Maria.)

Strangely enough, no.

It sailed off the edge of the world and was destroyed
with the loss of all hands.

So, that's where it went!

Bearing in mind my rapidly dwindling
battery charge and grasp on reality.

You had a grasp on reality in the first place?

So basically we were:
Me: walk, walk, walk, jump! "Whee!" <repeat>
Ruby: walk, walk, walk, "oh no!" slam!, spin, choke, die <repeat>

Oddly enough, she's not as keen on wave pools as I am now.

Poor Ruby! Not too surprising that she doesn't like them after that!

I mean, how freaking picturesque is that???

Gorgeous.

We arrived in Jasper at ten after five in the afternoon.
Or is that early evening by then?

Time to leave work. For those of us with 9-5 jobs. I guess I'd call it early evening, but just barely.

How cute is that?

That cabin is quite adorable. I would definitely stay there.

We made it back to the cabin
without encountering any further
ferocious beasts.

That was quite the interesting animal encounter!

Did you see it last update?
Marvin demanding to know
why the plane is late:

I had been wondering what he was up to. Now I know.

Questions, next round:

1. Sure. Why not. It's a trend.
What time do we get up?

2. Do we go in a gift shop?

3. We watch a movie.
In a theater? On the TV? On the iPad?

4. Elk. We see more.
In town or out?

5. Haven't asked this for a while.
Do I get asked for directions?
Of course I do.
How many times?
I'll narrow it down.
Less than five times.

6. How do I get revenge
on that elk?

7. Are these chapters too long?

1. 7:30
2. Yes. You started a trend that you can't escape.
3. On tv
4. Outside of town
5. Yes - twice
6. Elk burger for lunch
7. Just about right

Did you see it?
I hope not!
Because I didn't do one this round.

But... for bonus points.
How hard did you try to find
something anyway???

I read it first on my phone, so I was definitely not expecting to see anything, but I did notice a few places where I thought you might have written something! There were lots of potential signage opportunities in the mall series! I was meaning to go back and look, and then I saw your comment!

 

[Captain_Oblivious]

Police were dispatched when a melee broke out at the senior citizens center yesterday evening. Five people reported serious gumming injuries.

One was, I wanted to take some photos of the mall.
For you people.

A mall? You shouldn't have.

Really, am I not wonderful?
Tell me I am and.... nothing.
Too easy of a cop out for bonus points.

But tell me I'm amazing and you'll get some.

Pictures of a mall. You're amazing.

Still... any mini golf is better than real golf.
Right @Captain_Oblivious ?

This is similar to saying a quesadilla is like a pizza. Don't make me dock you poin--oh, right.

Every mall has a replica of the Santa Maria in it, right?
(Yes... that Santa Maria.)

Nah, we have the Titanic.

Would you believe the Mayflower?

Sigh.

Fine. We have a kayak in the Dick's Sporting Goods store.

Trivia:
Most people know that Columbus sailed with
three ships: The Nina, the Pinta and the Santa Maria.
But did you know there were actually four ships?
It's true! The Quarta.

It sailed off the edge of the world and was destroyed
with the loss of all hands.

Tragic.

Sounds like Captain Jack Sparrow was at the helm.

Also of note, see the two "islands"?
Until 2005, you could board a submarine
that would take you on a looped track past those islands
and around the Galleon.
Under the islands were aquariums to peer into.
The subs are gone now, unfortunately,
having been removed, finally, in 2012.

Why would you get rid of those? Think of all the time you could spend in there while the wife is shopping for clothes.

The next wave that came... she opened her mouth
to say "Oh no!"...
And she'd get knocked down, spun around...
and a mouthful of water.

So basically we were:
Me: walk, walk, walk, jump! "Whee!" <repeat>
Ruby: walk, walk, walk, "oh no!" slam!, spin, choke, die <repeat>

Oddly enough, she's not as keen on wave pools as I am now.

Is it wrong to laugh at someone else's expense?

And it being a Canadian mall...
it has to have a hockey rink.

I mean... come on.

Awesome! Best feature yet!

Plus I didn't feel like doing better.
So there's that…

Yep. You're still amazing.

I let her pick her pastry,
and unfortunately she picked the Danish.
Dang.


Oh, well. The trials and tribulations of marriage.

I thought you would have known better by now.

Sorry, hon, all they had were muffins...

This, like most men feel, is my favourite activity.
I love wandering the mall,
popping into women's clothing stores
and just standing and waiting.


I live for this.

Who hasn't been there?

I even bought myself some new oven mitts.
(Also high on the list of things guys do.)

Remind me again why you left Disney World?

That... and I'm just naturally rude.
@Steppesister and @franandaj ….
You’ll see.
Heck. Just ask anyone who’s met me!

I hear he once made a guy go all the way to Podunk, North Dakota and then stood him up!

And… I’M NOT THAT OLD!!
(You. In the back. Shut. Up.)

Crap. I didn't think you could see me.

Very nice!

The drinks came in take-out cups.
Not every A&W uses the frosty mugs.

It's almost eerie.
A place will be dead,
we'll walk in, turn around...
and there's a line up behind us.

Places should be paying us
to come to their stores.


Seriously.

I was about to say, there should be some money in that somewhere.

Wow. I could definitely get used to scenery like that.

We arrived in Jasper at ten after five in the afternoon.
Or is that early evening by then?
Bonus points for giving me your opinion.

I'm gonna call that one early evening, because you could potentially be eating dinner then.

Inventive use of the landscape there.

Admit it.
You want to stay there, don't you.
Actually... I'm kinda curious.
Some of you are going
"aaaaawwwww!!!"
Some of you are recoiling in horror.

Let me know where you stand
and I'll toss you a few bonus points.

With that mountain scenery you showed in the previous photo? I'm game to stay.

So unfortunately, you will see very few
(if any!) shots of Jasper itself.

Sure, 87 photos of a shopping mall, but not the actual destination. Makes sense.

I.... I almost can't talk about it.
Oh, God! The horror!

Come on pkondz... they need to know.
If only as a cautionary tale for the unwary...


All right.
I'll tell you.

I.... I....

I WALKED INTO A GIFT SHOP!!

Um...

And right now, you're wondering
what the big deal is, right?
"So what?" You're thinking.
"Every ride at Disney ends in a gift shop."

Right. Took the words out of my mouth.

Yes, true, but...
Ruby was quite content to just
walk along with me and let me lead.
But once I made that egregious error...
Ruby made a point of going into...
Every. Single. Gift shop.

Some, more than once.

And Jasper has a lot of gift shops.

Ok. Now I'm with you. Fatal error, there.

We decided that this was it.
I mean... pizza, right?

Good enough justification for me.

And yes, the wood fired pizzas
were very good!

I'm convinced wood-fired ovens make a difference.

No. That's not zoomed in.
We were that close.

We got.... a little too close.

Is this Canada's version of the Running Of The Bulls in Pamplona?

Dead tourists are not good for the economy.
They don’t go in the gift shops.

Excellent point there. Might make for some negative Yelp reviews too.

It crossed the street.
You know.
Where we were.

Probably shouldn't have been taunting him like that.

That's right!
I'm a man!
I can hide in terror like the best of them!
Oh, yeah!

Well, the next step was to play dead. You didn't exhaust all of the moves in your arsenal yet.

1. Sure. Why not. It's a trend.
What time do we get up?

7:30 a.m.

2. Do we go in a gift shop?

You'd think you would have exhausted these by now, but I'll say yes.

3. We watch a movie.
In a theater? On the TV? On the iPad?

Theater.

4. Elk. We see more.
In town or out?

Out this time. They're intimidated by the local rangers. And tourists.

5. Haven't asked this for a while.
Do I get asked for directions?
Of course I do.
How many times?
I'll narrow it down.
Less than five times.

Twice.

6. How do I get revenge
on that elk?

Prank phone call. You ask if his refrigerator is running. Can't stop giggling afterwards.

Or you put tennis balls on the ends of his antlers. I dunno.

7. Are these chapters too long?

If they're about Disney? No. National Parks? No. Malls? Um....

Did you see it?
I hope not!
Because I didn't do one this round.

But... for bonus points.
How hard did you try to find
something anyway???

I'm a state worker. I didn't try very hard. Would've had to put my shovel down.

I'm calling this, "Me at Thanksgiving Dinner" (the correct one, in November)

 

[Tracy161]

And you survived???

I did!!!!! Not only did I live to tell about it, I think I'm better for it, too!

Oh... almost certainly.

 

[Mrs T 2009]

Noted.



Okay.



How big is that list now?



See? I told you!



I should be in the hubby hall of fame, right?
"Man gives up danish. Sainthood to follow."



It was a serious error in judgement.

It is fairly long. And I didn't even research for the list, yet!
Yes. or maybe knighthood?
Everyone has days where they err in judgement. ( did I use that correctly? )

 

[jandlinz]

Trying to get back to the boards. We moved and it's almost been 2 1/2 weeks now. I'll try and come back to comment when I can. I absolutely missed everyone and how awesome Ponzi is!!!!

 

[pkondz]

Hi Pkondz

Hi Mac!

Good update as usual.

Thanks!

Being from across the pond I didn't relies that Christopher Columbus got up as far as Canada just goes to show what you can learn on the dis forums.

Actually... he didn't.
We just stole the boat when he wasn't looking.

We're sneaky that way.

Looking for some bonus points Ten past five i would class as early evening but I have been known to be wrong.

I need to know if you've been known to be right.

You seemed to be surprised to see the moose I thought they were quite common over the rural areas of Canada.

I'm not surprised.
This is a pretty common thought
with people not from this continent.

I've never seen a moose in my life.
And you don't want to.
If you hit one with your car...
That generally means you're dead.

Deer? Yeah. Tons.
Hit one of those with the car a few years back.
And that's pretty common.

Elk? Not in the southern parts of the country
(where I live now... as do most Canadians.)

Gift shops once you have been in one do you really have to visit more.

No. You don't. Seriously.

You got me I was looking for something in your photos normally look more than once good job you told us saved going back over the photos to see what I had missed the first time.

Next time I won't say anything.
I'll leave it up to you to figure out
if there's anything there or not.

 

[pkondz]

Great update!

Thanks!

You are amazing!!

Oooohhh... complete with dancing banana, no less.

Sorry about your charger

It was... a bit revolting.

WOW! That's quite the mall! Would love to see it someday.

Bring a good pair of walking shoes!

Love the baby Hippo!! I have seen a couple videos of him online, he's too cute

Beautiful Picture!!

Thanks!

No Judgement here. LOVE Caramel!!

Add chocolate to it
and you have a bit of Heaven right there.

Cute cabin!

Isn't it???

I am in the "aaaaawwwww!" camp

I really liked it. I'd stay there again.

OMG I would pass out!

But then he'd come over and lick your face.

1. Sure. Why not. It's a trend.
What time do we get up?---------8am

2. Do we go in a gift shop?-----------yes (maybe even more than one

3. We watch a movie.
In a theater? On the TV? On the iPad?---------on the TV

4. Elk. We see more.
In town or out?------------------------in town

5. Haven't asked this for a while.
Do I get asked for directions?
Of course I do.
How many times?
I'll narrow it down.
Less than five times.----------------3 x

6. How do I get revenge
on that elk?-------------------call the authorities

7. Are these chapters too long?-----------------No

Noted.

But... for bonus points.
How hard did you try to find
something anyway???--------------I looked but not real hard, I usually have to go back after the contest questions come up.

Saved you the trouble.
Am I not magnanimous?

That seal (?) is too funny, I was a little concerned he might be hurt after going over all those rocks.

Nah. Plenty of blubber to cushion the blow.


Trust me... I know.