Canadian Buffoon's Hi Low Vacation - South Central Musings

Discussion in 'Disney Trip Reports' started by pkondz, Sep 12, 2016.

  1. pkondz

    pkondz . . Dis Dad #797 . . Hoping to get lucky

    Mar 9, 2007
    Canadian Buffoon's Hi Low Vacation


    Welcome to the TR!

    For those of you who've followed me
    over from my previous TR...

    (But I really appreciate you being here!)

    And to those of you who are new around here,
    the crowd's mostly friendly,
    just don't stick your fingers in their cage.

    And.... I'm sorry. In advance.

    For everything.

    I'm going to get one thing
    out of the way
    right off the bat.

    This is me:


    Which one?
    This was taken on my other solo trip,
    last year.

    I'm the one by myself of course.
    Back row.
    Looking smug.
    Because everyone in front of me
    is about to be soaking wet.

    And that should be that.
    You've taken one look
    and decided to flee in horror.

    Smart. Verrrrry smart.

    (And sorry for scaring the children.)

    What's this?
    A few die-hards have decided
    to stick around?

    How decidedly odd.

    Well, I gave you your chance to leave.
    Now you and I are stuck with each other.
    And I couldn't be more pleased.

    Before we get into the
    nuts and bolts of the TR.
    The what happened where and when stuff...

    I should probably actually go.

    That's right. I haven't gone yet.
    Although, it's quite possible
    that by the time you see this,
    I may be on my way.

    As I write this, on a Sunday eve,
    (now Monday morn’)
    I have but three days to go until
    lift off for Disney.

    And I'm soooo hoping it goes a little
    better than the first time I went...

    Flash back to 1978.
    (Yeah. I'm old as dirt. Sue me.)

    Little pkondz is lying in bed
    in his parents' house in Canada.
    It's the night after Christmas,
    but he's too excited to sleep.

    "Ohmygosh, ohmygosh, ohmygosh!
    I'm going to Disney World!"

    And I couldn't sleep!
    And we were leaving before dawn.
    (Granted, in Canada that could be any time.
    Just take my word for it that it was early.)
    What's a boy to do?
    Pretend he's not going.
    Yeah! That'll work!
    "Nah. I'm not going to Disney.
    Ha. Ha. Of course not. Don't be silly.
    That's way too good to be true.
    Nope. Not <yawn> going.
    N'unh uh. Not... going..... to.... Dis...zzzzzzzzz"

    (Quick! How many of you just yawned?
    Not because I wrote <yawn>,
    but because you're bored out of your minds???)

    A few hours later,
    Mom is waking me.
    I still remember this like it was yesterday.
    (Just don't ask me to remember yesterday.)
    I actually said: "Why? Where are we going?"

    Half in a stupor
    (Hey! That's like me now, all the time!)
    I got dressed and made my way
    to the kitchen.
    Half asleep, I ate my cereal.
    "The taxi's here!" Someone called out.
    "pkondz, go outside and get in the cab
    so he knows we're coming."
    So I did.

    I plodded out to the cab
    and plunked myself in the backseat.
    The cabbie reversed the car out of the
    driveway and into the street.
    "Where are you going!?!?!" I cried out.
    Thankfully I wasn't completely asleep.
    The driver stopped, and pulled back
    into the driveway.

    It was years later before my parents
    even found out that this had happened.

    Eventually, the rest of the family came out
    and we were on our way.

    The story doesn't quite end there.
    Upon arrival at Orlando.
    Or maybe it was Tampa.
    Upon arrival in Florida,
    my Mom took a better look at me
    in the light of day.
    "Are you all right? And where are your new pants?"
    My Mom had bought me new pants,
    expressly for this trip.
    But, since we weren't "going anywhere"
    I hadn't dared to put them on.
    And that's not all.

    "What's the matter with you?" She asked.
    "I'm hot!" I complained.
    "It's not that ho..... Are you...
    Are you wearing Long Johns???"

    I was.

    I did a really good job of convincing
    myself we weren't going anywhere.

    And just in case the term Long Johns
    is foreign to some of you.
    Here's an example:



    Okay. Enough of the past.
    Let's talk about the future.
    The imminent future.
    And the title of this TR.

    The title.
    This trip hasn't even happened yet,
    but it's already had some highs and lows.

    I'm married to a wonderful woman named Ruby.
    You'll get to know her a bit better later on.

    I love her to pieces, but....
    she's not a big fan of Disney.
    And I'm partially to blame for that.

    She was okay with going,
    until I broke her.

    Our second trip with the DDs.
    Third for Ruby and her fourth overall.

    The DDs were 8 and 12 at the time.
    I wanted to show them as much
    of Disney as I possibly could.
    It was rope drop to late.
    Every. Day.
    I think on day 3 or 4 Ruby put her foot down.
    "You go!" She said. "I'm going to do laundry
    and sit by the pool."
    And she did.
    And it was her favourite day.

    Fast forward to a few months ago.
    Several of my DIS friends are
    traveling to the World this fall.
    Wouldn't it be nice to see
    some of them?

    But I need to take care of Ruby.
    So a plan was hatched.
    We'd go spend two days at Disney,
    then maybe drive down to the Keys.
    Always wanted to do that.

    And she said 'yes'.
    But wait....

    "Just throwing this out there." I said.
    "But... how about a cruise?"
    And she said 'yes'.

    I began to make plans.

    I was at work on a break.
    I had three windows open on the screen.
    WestJet Airlines for the flights...
    DCL for the cruise...
    Disney for... well, Disney.

    I had the flights picked,
    the cruise (and cabin!) picked,
    but the Disney web site was acting up.
    As soon as it settles down,
    I'll book this thing.

    It was then that I received a text.
    "Luna" (our new puppy) "hurt her leg.
    "Going to emergency vet."

    She had broken her leg.
    Needed X-rays (cha-ching)
    and surgery (CHA-CHING!!)

    Wasn't too expensive.
    Only a bit more than a Disney Cruise.


    We weren't happy.
    But me? More so.
    I really was hoping to meet
    a couple of special folks.


    And then Ruby did what Ruby does.
    "Can we maybe do something local?" She asks.
    "What did you have in mind?" I query.
    "How about a quick trip to Banff?" She says.
    "Yes! We can do that!"

    So we're going to Banff.

    Wait a second!
    You said you were going to Disney!

    Wait! Wait! I am going to Disney!
    Just hold on a second.

    So we're going to Banff.
    But I was still moping about
    missing out on meeting some people.

    "Well." Ruby says. "Do you have enough
    points to fly down by yourself?"


    I do and I did and I am.
    Ruby's the best
    and I know how lucky I am.

    So here's the itinerary.
    I fly down to Disney on Wednesday.
    Fly back on Sunday.
    Gather up Ruby, then fly to Edmonton, AB
    on Monday.
    Grab a car and see the Rockies.
    Back on Saturday.

    A dual whirl-wind trip!
    With more highs and lows coming up.

    Such as... (speaking of lows)
    I made an unpleasant discovery yesterday morning.
    But in hindsight, I'm glad it happened now,
    as opposed to me finding out later.

    Elle (DD19) is attending University.
    She has money to pay for it through
    work, and money her completely
    awesome parents saved up for her.

    But she doesn't have a chequing account
    and her credit card limit is too low.
    So I put her tuition, et al, on my card
    and then she pays me back.
    I get points on my card, so I'm happy.

    This morning, I decide to check
    my credit card
    to see if the bill has gone through.
    Yep. There it is.
    Along with about eight cash withdrawals.
    For about $25 each.
    (with accompanying $5 cash advance fees)
    For a total of just over $270.
    In Ukrainian hryvnias. (No idea. It's their money.)

    I called the credit card company

    Yes, they said they'd reverse the charges.
    And they canceled my card.
    The one with all the reservations on it.
    (Does this sound familiar, @SnowWhiteOz ?)
    They're sending me a new card...
    And if I'm lucky, I'll get it Tuesday.
    If not....

    I'm not sure what I'll do yet.

    Wish me luck!

    You're still reading?
    It's done!
    I've got to actually do the vacation
    before I can write about it.

    I know.
    You want to know about the contest.
    And if you've been around for a while....
    It's because you know there's an actual...


    Yes. Prize.
    There will be chocolate.
    And.... something else.
    Wanna know what?
    I can't tell you!
    Not just because I'm secretive, (I am)
    but because I don't know what it is yet! :laughing:

    I have no idea how this contest will be run yet.
    I'll figure that out during/after the trip.

    But to start you off
    (and give you something to do)
    I'll give you some warm up questions.
    Fun part is, I don't know the answer
    to some of these yet myself!

    1. What time is my flight out of Winnipeg?
    Hint: I connect in Toronto and plan to (hopefully)
    hit a park the same day.

    2. Two flights. Winnipeg/Toronto, Toronto/MCO.
    On time? Delayed? One of each?

    3. I'll be clearing customs in Toronto.
    This is always fun.... 50/50. Does my passport
    get stamped?
    Bonus points if you know the expression on my face.

    4. When I finally arrive at the resort...
    Where is it? (Yes it's on property.)
    Hint: I'm squeezing pennies, remember?

    5. So I get there. I go to a park. Which one?

    6. I don't know if I'll do a transportation game or not.
    But just in case... how long do I wait for transportation
    to and from the park.

    And for my loyal readers...
    I actually started this contest on the last TR.
    Anyone who suggested a title gets a point.
    Best suggestion wins 5 points.
    @cinderkelly wins 3 points because that was
    close to what I had originally thought for the title.

    Steppesister - Canadian Buffoon's Food and Wine Adventure - 1 point
    SnowWhiteOz - Canadian Buffoon's Monumental Vacation - 1 point
    MAGICFOR2 - Canadian Bafoon takes a real nap. Or
    - Around the World in 3 Days, Canadian Bafoon's Gastronomical Adventure - 1 point
    cinderkelly - Canadian Buffoon's So Low Adventure part Deux - 3 points
    Curiouser&curiouser! - Canadian Buffoon's Daffy & Delicious Disney Vacation - 1 point
    Mrs T 2009 - Canadian Buffoon's Solo Disney Sleepathon Vacation. Or
    - Canadian Buffoon's First real sleep, Disney-style - 1 point
    jandlinz - Canadian Buffoon's No Time Like the Present Vacation. Or
    - Canadian Buffoon's No Time Like the Present, Last Minute Vacation! - 1 point
    DonnaBeeGood - Canadian Buffoon's Astounding Dismeet Vacation! - 1 point
    Captain_Oblivious -
    - Canadian Buffoon's East To West Extravaganza
    - Canadian Buffoon Goes To Epcot Just To Stuff His Face
    - Canadian Buffoon and the Quest For A Nap
    - Canadian Buffoon Just Can't Stop Saying "Banff!" (Because "Banff!" Is Fun To Say)
    - A Canadian Buffoon Walks Into A Bar...(and cries, "Ouch!")
    - Canadian Buffoon and the German Schnitzel Kiosk - 1 point
    franandaj - Canadian Buffoon's Bodacious Vacation. Or
    - Canadian Buffoon's Mad Dash Vacation - 1 point
    GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes - Canadian Buffoon's: Binge until you Banff Gastropalooza. Or
    - Canadian Buffoon Encounters Food & Wine and Flora & Fauna and Great Big Rocks and Cliffs - 1 point
    orangecats2 - Canadian Buffoon disappoints the English ladies - 5 points (I still laugh at that one.)
    Terra Nova guy - Canadian Buffoon's Whiny Food Vacation - 1 point
    SoccerDogWithEars - Canadian Buffoon's This Almost Didn't Happen Vacation. Or
    - or Canadian Buffoon's Finally Once Again Solo Vacation - 1 point
    MHSweb79 - Canadian Buffoon's Salute to All Nations (But Mosrly Canadia) - 1 point
    juniorbugman - Meat, Greet and be Disney - 1 point
    Mac Brew - Canadian Buffoon Went on a trip... - 1 point
    natebenma - Doggone it! Canadian Buffoon Does Disney Solo. With a Little Help From His Friends - 1 point
    DISNEYMOON10121991 - Canadian Bufffoon does it ALL in the Fall -meet, eat & drink his way back - 1 point

    And that's it!
    I hope you'll all come along
    on this little adventure.
    I can promise a few surprises
    along the way.

    Won't you join me?

    Last edited: Sep 25, 2016
    DonnaBeeGood likes this.
  2. pkondz

    pkondz . . Dis Dad #797 . . Hoping to get lucky

    Mar 9, 2007
    Chapter 1. Canadian Buffoon's Hi Low Vacation
    Update 1. Back
    Chapter 2. Close to Home
    Update 2. Come in Threes
    Chapter 3. Fetch it to Ketch it
    Chapter 4. Something Fishy
    Chapter 5. Hey Bay-bee
    Chapter 6. Well, Boo Who
    Chapter 7. The Mighty Jungle
    Chapter 8. Pulley for you, Mom.
    Chapter 9. Home and Away.
    Chapter 10. Here and There.
    Chapter 11 . Savage Creatures.
    Chapter 12 . Mini pre-trip real life update.
    Chapter 13 . When I'm Calling You...
    Chapter 14 . Life is a Highway... Part I.
    Chapter 15. Life is a Highway... Part II.
    Chapter 16. Ya Gotta Have Faith
    Chapter 17. The End

    Vegas Baby!
    Chapter 1. Heart Palpitations, Vegas Style
    Chapter 2. O My
    Chapter 3.The End of the Rainbow

    Real Life Update
    South Central Musings
    Last edited: Aug 12, 2017
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  4. cinderkelly

    cinderkelly DIS Veteran

    May 9, 2014
    WOO HOO!!!!! :banana::cool1::banana::cool1:

    and I'm first! I'm first I'm first I'm first!!!!:jumping1:
    I should get extra points for that :woohoo:

    Now I'm actually going to go and read it
  5. SoccerDogWithEars

    SoccerDogWithEars DIS Veteran

    Mar 20, 2005
    We ask ourselves that every day.

    Nope. I'm just skimming to get to the good stuff.

    That's....hilarious and terrifying at the same time.

    Oh the HORROR!!!!!! Why would she do that to you??
    Oh, is that not the discovery? Never mind.


    both on time

    No. And I'll have post a picture later, can't do that on my work pc.

    Pop Century? I feel like you told us, but I'm too lazy to go look for it.

    Magic Kingdom

    13 minutes

    I mean, I've made it this far.....
  6. franandaj

    franandaj I'm so happy, I could BOUNCE!

    Nov 15, 2009
    Present! Will Come back and read!
  7. natebenma

    natebenma Beach Club Dee

    Jul 19, 2008

    Having survived a couple of solo trips with friends myself, I know you are in for some interesting times!

    We have had a prior discussion about tuition payments in your country and mine. That's cute that you can put a semester on a credit card. But :headache: on the foreign fraudulent charges. We had that happen once when we returned from Florida. Someone had joined a Wine of the Month club and ordered a very nice bottle of Dom in addition to some other wines. We drink beer. So not us.

    How is cute Luna doing BTW (and I apologize here for not appearing on your former trip report recently). Behind EVERYWHERE. Spent August on my summer project- driver's license for my son Nate, which he obtained (2nd try) 4 days before we dropped him off at college.

    My too late title for your TR 2B: "Doggone it! Canadian Buffoon Does Disney Solo. With a Little Help From His Friends"

    1. What time is my flight out of Winnipeg?
    Hint: I connect in Toronto and plan to (hopefully)
    hit a park the same day.

    5:21 am

    2. Two flights. Winnipeg/Toronto, Toronto/MCO.
    On time? Delayed? One of each?

    Both ontime

    3. I'll be clearing customs in Toronto.
    This is always fun.... 50/50. Does my passport
    get stamped?
    Bonus points if you know the expression on my face.

    Stamped. Surprised

    4. When I finally arrive at the resort...
    Where is it? (Yes it's on property.)
    Hint: I'm squeezing pennies, remember?


    5. So I get there. I go to a park. Which one?


    6. I don't know if I'll do a transportation game or not.
    But just in case... how long do I wait for transportation
    to and from the park.

    4 minutes/9 minutes
  8. Curiouser&curiouser!

    Curiouser&curiouser! DIS Veteran

    Jun 23, 2010

    I did, but in my defense I am fighting a bad cold and not sleeping well.

    Chocolate is enough for me! Anything else is just bonus! Not that I will win anyhow.

    1. 4:30 AM
    2. I think you are going to get lucky and ALL flights will be on time!
    3. Nope. And no bonus points!
    4. Most people pinch them. Why are you squeezing them instead?! I am going All Star Sports!
    5. Epcot
    6. Total, or just this first day? I am going to go with just the first day and 11 minutes.

    Um. I can't help but notice that there are no points listed after this. I know it is a terrible title and all, but no points?!?! I am definitely not going to win THIS way!

    Well, I do have a bit of free time on my hands . . .
  9. Mac Brew

    Mac Brew DIS Veteran

    Mar 2, 2012
    Hi Pokndz
    I've booked marked this one..Looking forward to the report when you get back.
  10. Mac Brew

    Mac Brew DIS Veteran

    Mar 2, 2012
    Hello again Pkondz

    Flight departure time from Winnipeg is 05 15 hours
    Both flights on time
    Passport stamped free to exit the country. Big smiley face your on your way.
    Pop century resort.
    Magic Kingdom
    As it's the first bus time I will say 10 mins.
  11. Captain_Oblivious

    Captain_Oblivious DIS Dad #257

    Nov 10, 2008
    Eh, beats doing work.

    And because you're in Disney World by yourself. Lucky dog.

    I'm not sure which of us got the worse end of that deal.

    Well, when you gotta go, you gotta go.

    There. Every TR needs some bodily function jokes. I'm pretty sure it's a law.


    I still can't sleep when I'm going to Disney World the next day!


    :scared1: That would have made for a much different trip! Especially with no pants.

    :lmao::rotfl2::rotfl: I hope it got better from there.

    :sad2: And that's not a deal-breaker? You guys have my admiration.

    So it's your fault. Figures.

    Actually, I'm just glad Julie agrees with the rope drop strategy.:rolleyes1

    ::yes:: DIS meets are great! Lots of cool people.


    I know the feeling.:sad1:

    Oh, sure. I see where I rate.


    Sounds awesome! Both parts!

    Oh. Um...blame the dog.

    Oh, man. That sucks. Glad the bank is working it out for you.

    D'oh! This should be interesting.

    Good luck!

    Story checks out.

    And I don't even know the questions yet! You go first.

    6:30 a.m.

    On time. I predict good things.

    Sure, it gets stamped. And:


    Let's see...I think you've stayed at All-Star Music and Pop Century before. So...All-Star Movies?

    Hollywood Studios, since you can probably cover everything that's open in a couple of hours right now.

    4 minutes total. Residual effect from the Express Bus Pass.

    Darn. I thought my East/West Extravaganza was close.

    Eh, I guess.

    I mean, uh, sure! I can't wait!:hyper:
  12. Princess Leia

    Princess Leia DIS Veteran

    Feb 15, 2011
    I'm here! Looking forward to your whistle stop trip. That's good you have got the fraudulent spending refunded on your credit card. I'm still trying to get the double payment back from when I registered for a Landry's card. Hope you have a fanastic trip(s).
  13. irene_dsc

    irene_dsc DIS Veteran

    Nov 1, 2007

    Never heard of them before. I will take your word for it! And they certainly don't belong on your credit card!

    Well, that should be interesting.

    And you didn't make that a contest question? ;)


    4:38 am At least you should be caught up on sleep by now.

    On time

    Yes, your passport gets stamped. And, do you look constipated?

    Pop Century


    5 minutes. Because...pkondz...

    And I just never came up with any good much for a free point!
  14. SnowWhiteOz

    SnowWhiteOz Now what are you, and who are you doin' here?

    Jun 26, 2015
    I shall comment when I get home from work today @pkondz but I wanted to make sure I claimed my spot on the first page!!!
  15. vrajewski10513

    vrajewski10513 DIS Veteran

    Dec 11, 2013
    I'm heeerrreeee!!! :wave: I'll be back later for comments, I figure I have until after your vacation, right??
  16. cinderkelly

    cinderkelly DIS Veteran

    May 9, 2014
    Why? Because we like you!

    Hi you! :wave2:

    Two more sleeps!!


    Ruby is awesome. She gets bonus points for that. There's no way in Hades my DH would suggest a solo trip.

    :scared: Oh no!

    Can't they overnight you a new card? Oh the drama has begun already! Good luck!

    Yes! :surfweb:


    Both on time.

    No problem Mon. Yes. [​IMG]


    MK baby!

    6 min to. 10 min from

    I'll take this opportunity to shamelessly celebrate once again :cool1:
    Great minds think similarly

    :hyper:For shizzle
  17. Chrystmasangel

    Chrystmasangel Mouseketeer

    Mar 17, 2014
    WOO-HOO! I get to experience a Ponzi TR real time instead of binge reading! It's like Christmas morning!

    Because... Well because I can!

    Or a light socket.

    John McClane is nothing if not persistent

    This would have been like a backwards Home Alone.

    Are you sure she's not made up? I just spent 2 weeks reading The Never Ending TR from start to finish and didn't see a single sign of Ruby anywhere.

  18. juniorbugman

    juniorbugman <font color=blue>New car vs another cruise?? THAT

    Aug 22, 2001
  19. jandlinz

    jandlinz DIS Veteran

    Nov 29, 2010
    I'm here! Did I make the first page? Bonus points if I do, right???!!
    1. Big hint you gave. 5:15 a.m. (And yes, I'm so loyal I looked it up).
    2. Both are on time.
    3. Yes, your passport is stamped. I'm actually confused what the latter would be. You have a bright beaming smile!:teeth:
    4. Pop (aka The Grand Floridian, right?)
    5. Magic! Of course!
    6. Total? 2 minutes. 0 there and 2 back.
    Have fun! We'll hold down the fort in your missed absence.:love:
  20. Terra Nova guy

    Terra Nova guy DIS Dad #811 Newfoundland, Canada

    Nov 11, 2014
    I’m here! And it doesn’t smell like amok yet! Awesome! Love the new trip report scent.

    Those are the things I ponder in the dark of night. Besides, what would I do at work all day?

    Meh, you're dirt is not much older than mine. My first trip to Florida was 1983.

    I try to avoid stepping in stupor. It doesn’t always work though. I usually end up falling all in, not just half in.

    I still remember the new grey dress pants and polo shirt my mother bought for the plane. Yes, it was 1983 and back in those days we had a “plane outfit”, especially considering it was our first time on a plane. I wore the outfit down to Florida, then took it off and did not put it back on until the day we left to go home. I remember I was allowed to wear it on the beach at St. Pete’s right before we left for the airport. Different times.


    Ugh. I have not had that happen yet, but it's becoming too common. I'm it will soon enough. I hope it all works out.

    :thumbsup2 It's a good one @cinderkelly

    And since there's a contest...

    1. 5:10am
    2. One of each. I'll say YWG-YYZ on time, YYZ-MCO delayed.
    3. I'll say no, it does not get stamped. I've had both in Toronto customs. I don't know if they have rules, or just whatever the agent feels like at the time. As for your expression, how about something like your Splash Mountain picture?
    4. Pop Century
    5. Magic Kingdom
    6. 8 minutes
  21. DonnaBeeGood

    DonnaBeeGood I'm All About The Princesses!

    Aug 3, 2014
    Oh my, in for another whirlwind with pkondz!


    Both on time because you always book the full transportation package.

    Yes, you get a stamp. You are looking embarassed, because you got the same grumpy woman who made you feel like dirt for going to Disney. Tip - lie, don't tell them that you're going to have fun by yourself, they won't understand!

    I'm going to go with POP, because of the best transportation package.


    11 minutes.

    And yes, Ruby is amazing, you lucky duck.

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