I just back away slowly
and hope she'll forget I exist.
That's just about the only thing you can do. Unless you have a wingman who can cover your escape.
So we decided to split up.
After 25 years of marriage, this is what it comes to!
Who knew the ABC Store was so powerful?
Kids these days.
They don't even want cheap tourist crap.
Don't worry, I think my kids make up for yours.
I considered getting this cool cat gun I found,
but Kay reminded me that Ruby's more of a dog person.
If they had one of those that shot dogs AT cats, I'd be on board.
A black hole is an area in space where if you enter,
you can never escape.
The second we walked in, we knew this wasn't for us.
Prices way too high and way too fancy.
I thought it might be some trinkets from the ocean.
But it was just a normal jewelry shop.
And as soon as we crossed the threshold
(aka the event horizon)
a sales lady captured us.
"Hi! Would you like to see something?"
Abort! Abort! We've blown our cover!
She shows me a pendant.
"How much?" I ask.
"Four hundred dollars." She gleefully replies.
I neglect to tell her that my budget
is about four hundred dollars less than that.
"It's $1,200." He says.
Yeah... that's kind of what I figured.
Oh, well.
I thanked him for his time and said.
"Well, if you took $1,000 off, but I don't think you will, so..."
He thought I was going to buy it for $1,000.
I quickly had to dissuade him of that notion.
So I'm going to say...
Scarves, sun dresses and tops.
Sure. Why not.
It would be more fun if it were hand grenades, toilet brushes, and Dole Whips.
On the way, we popped into the Harley Davidson store
where I bought a shirt and a poker chip.
I did not look to see if they had shorts.
Well, ok, but I don't think that poker chip is going to cover a whole lot.
First up was Kaanapali beach.
It was once named the best beach in America.
Three miles of white sand.
Hey! I guessed that one right! Isn't that worth bonus points?
We arrived after a brief 15-20 minute drive...
And couldn't find a place to park!
All beaches in Maui are public spaces.
But the land to get to the public spaces
can be privately owned.

Soooo annoying...
We're just not beach people.
I'll go look at a beach.
But... to sit (or lay) there?
Nope.
Yep, I'm 100% with you there. If I'm at the beach, I'm going to be swimming. Otherwise, I need something else to do.
Once again, we decided to split up.
Ruby and Elle wanted to do more shopping,
More? You can shop at home!
Ahh...what a view!
Just NOW serving free peanuts? What a bunch of cheapskates.
Makes you want to go, doesn't it?
A moment later... the inevitable.
"Aigh!"
"What!?!?"
"I got wet!"
Oh, the horror.
Say "Oh the horror" for bonus points!
Oh, the horror! The humanity!
I'm not kidding.
It was like she was involved in an art-heist or something.
"You keep watch while I get the goods!"
She scooped up some sand, slapped the lid on
and surreptitiously placed the jar in a pocket.
You can get a pretty good price on the black market for Hawaiian beach sand. Not the black sand market, that's different.
Let's say scented soaps this time.
Scented soaps this time.
The upside for me was that they got our parking validated.
Sweet! Free parking.

I take back all that stuff I said about shopping!
I like this one better than Kaanapali.
A little smaller. More intimate.
I tend to like the smaller beaches and coves, too. Feels like you're discovering something.
Anyone want to relax and just enjoy the beach?
"Yeah!"
Well too bad! We're off to the next spot on our agenda.


I turned and saw the same woman
who'd given me the directions
come hurrying towards us.
"I just wanted to make sure you could find it.
It's that way (gestures) down the road.
And the parking lot is on your right at the stop sign."
She came out just to make sure I'd find it.
I was struck by her thoughtfulness.
Nice to have good-hearted people around.
The teeth were formed during Maui's last volcanic lava flow.
The lava reached the ocean and the waves and wind
pushed the lava into these vertical "teeth".
It really does look like you're in a dragon's mouth.
Pretty cool formation! I didn't get the chance to see those, myself.
There was a mother with a couple of young kids.
Maybe 8 or 10 years old?
The kids scrambled right up to the edge
to get a better look!
One misstep or crumbling rock and...
The mom called her kids back.
If she hadn't, I sure as heck would have!
I have no idea what she was thinking
letting them get that close to the edge.
It was more than a little unnerving.

I'm amazed at some people. Don't mess with the power of water.
Gorgeous shot! Nice work, Kay!
By the time we were done eating,
Elle and Ruby had already gone back to our room.
We joined them and that was the end to our first
full day in Hawaii.
Only one more full day to go!
Dang, that was quick.
Sorry if this chapter was a bit dull.
It's ok, we're used to it.
Oh, the horror! The humanity! (shameless, aren't I?)
1. What time do I leave the room for breakfast?
Hang on, let me consult my magic 8 ball.
7:30 a.m.
2. We launch on an all day excursion.
What is it?
Gotta be the Hana Highway.
2. Kay makes a new best friend.
Figures... She's an animal lover.
What is it?
Hint: Not a dog or cat.
A wild chicken?
3. We try a local baked treat that Elle thinks
is better than mine! What is it?
Hint: It's not been mentioned before.
Just guessing, but how about a malasada? They sure were good on Oahu.
4. Did you see it? Bonus points if you did.
I think I demonstrated above that yes, I did.
5. How many beaches do we visit?
2. Black sand beach and Hamoa beach.
6. What do I eat for supper.
Hint: think local.
How about a Hawaiian lunch plate...for dinner!