Can you wear a baseball cap to a restaurant?

[Minnie]

Consider the possibility that the exiting patron was so upset by someone wearing a hat inside a restaurant that he couldn't even finish his meal - and left.

Then he really needs something more to worry about

Seriously, manners do dictate that hats should not be worn inside (especially in restaurants)..... However, IMO the exiting patron was just as rude to make the comment.

 

[lsyorke]

Yup, rude. You can read the history behind this here:

http://www.bcvc.net/hats/

 

[shellybaxter]

Then he really needs something more to worry about

Seriously, manners do dictate that hats should not be worn inside (especially in restaurants)..... However, IMO the exiting patron was just as rude to make the comment.

I agree that the exiting patron was rude in his own way but I guess I'm more inclined to give him a pass because of his age. That's just me - but his whole life has changed since he was 40 and I would imagine that's not easy.

For the people who don't understand why it should be considered rude - does it really matter. It is obviously considered rude by a large majority here on the DIS so to me that means there is at least a certain population that believes it is rude. If its not a big deal why not just take the hat off? even if you don't believe it to be rude?

 

[kirbsam]

I think the biggest shock to us is that someone was so upset about my hubby's hat that he had to SAY something out loud and ruin our peaceful night out without kids. Now it is 8:00 at night, and we are sitting at home because hubby is in a bad mood......all because of one person's comment. Why in the world would this bother anyone????

i cant imagine that ruining someones night. i think your husband is a tad touchy.

 

[ms.yt]

I was always taught that men shouldn't wear hats in a restaurant, and that is what we are teaching our son.

But honestly, it's one of those things that I don't understand. Someone decided years and years ago that it was rude, so now people have to abide by what someone else decided was rude a long time ago. Just doesn't make sense to me. I really can't think of one good reason why a person wearing a hat indoors is rude, other than that it has always been considered rude.

Not touching other people, not cutting in line, keeping your conversation down, giving up your seat to an elderly person, those are all things that if you don't them make sense to be considered rude, because they directly affect other people. Hat in a restaurant = rude, just doesn't make sense to me.

But like I said, I've taught my son that he is to always remove his hat while eating (unless outside in the sun). I just hope he never asks me why, because I don't have a clue what I will tell him. I guess it will just fall under, "because mommy said so".

Exactly. It doesn't make sense. Just like it doesn't make sense that it's rude for a man to wear a hat but not for a woman. It's just one of those "that's the way we've always done it" kind of things.

 

[crazee4mickey]

It's rude to wear a hat indoors especially at the table. Dh and all 3 of our sons wear ball caps but know that once you are in the house the hat comes off and when you are in a restaurant it comes off!

Yes, maybe the older gentleman shouldn't have said anything but maybe in his defense he is seeing how manners and respect are a thing of the past for most people these days and seeing your husband wearing his hat at the table in front of your kids just "ticked" him off.

Too bad you let it ruin your evening though....

 

[johnnymo99]

To the OP:

I'm with you and dont think its rude. Wearing it to a fast food or Denny's type restaurant is fine. Not to a fancy restaurant. I occasionaly wear a hat out to eat when my hair is messy and I have never been looked at or spoken to in that way. I wouldn't take what the majority on DIS believes to be what the majority in the country is. In fact, if he had said this to me I would have said sure Sir bend over and let me store it some place.

 

[shellybaxter]

To the OP:

I'm with you and dont think its rude. Wearing it to a fast food or Denny's type restaurant is fine. Not to a fancy restaurant. I occasionaly wear a hat out to eat when my hair is messy and I have never been looked at or spoken to in that way. I wouldn't take what the majority on DIS believes to be what the majority in the country is. In fact, if he had said this to me I would have said sure Sir bend over and let me store it some place.

Really - this was an older gentleman??

That's what I call rude

 

[dolcezena]

The general jist of what I'm getting from some of the comments on this thread, is that's it's OK to keep the hat on, because the "manners" that dictated taking a hat off are outdated.

(Hang on, before I say anything else - it was unnecessary for the older man to say something to your husband about the hat. Passing judgement on anyone is rude, I don't care what the situation is.)

I have a theory (& it's not mine exclusively) that the decline of manners in modern society has a direct link with the rise in crime. Think I'm nuts? Consider this...

Manners are something we use to show respect to our fellow humans. When we don't feel that our fellow humans are deserving of respect (by not showing manners), it's that much easier to abuse them. By not giving showing someone respect, you are saying, with your behaviour, that they are less important than you. That YOUR needs are more important than society's.

Sure, you might have really bad "hat hair," but that's about how YOU feel - 1 person vs who-knows-how-many, so how is that polite?

And to drag this on even longer - I'm female, I wear hats. When it's a ball cap, I take it off when I'm in a place where it may not be appropriate. I take it off when I'm at a football or hockey game & they play the national anthem. It's about respecting my country, not worrying if my hair looks bad. I can't even imagine wearing it in a restaurant! However, if it is a "girly" hat, I'll probably keep wearing it because the occasion demands it. (ie-a funeral)

 

[shortbun]

Every time I see a man with a hat on in a restaurant, I point him out and say to my son, "that is incredibly rude, don't ever let me catch you wearing a hat in a public restaurant!" Many people besides me think it's very rude. I would never say anything to a stranger but I'd have a pretty low opinion of him.

 

[dissybroad]

hats off; basic etiquette.

correcting someone else's manners; bad form.

letting someone ruin your day/mood/life; unfortunate and unnecessary.

 

[MoniqueU]

Somebody need to clone the guy in his 70s and distribute a bunch of him to every dining establishment in southern california. I am 35, my DH is almost 45 and I have a 16 year old son. Neither one of them are big hat wearers except at sporting events or if my husband has to run out somewhere and hasn't had time to wash his hair. Anyway I can't remember the last time I saw someone with a hot on the table at a restaurant. They are all on their heads. I never gave it a second thought, things are just super casual here. i will have to pay more attention and see how many offenders I can find. I bet there are tons. And I don't blame the older man for speaking up and saying something if that is indeed the custom as so many say it is. Too many people are getting away with far too much that is in poor taste these days. I wonder what someone would say to me if i told them to take their hat off here? I would never have the guts but I bet they would be super confused.

 

[NMAmy]

I'm curious--I haven't been to a sporting event in years. Do men still remove their hats for the national anthem?

Since so many people appear to think that hats are okay in restaurants (btw, it doesn't really matter how much you're spending on the meal--hats should not be worn at the table ever), I just wondered if the removal of hats during the national anthem or at a funeral was now considered some quaint custom that didn't need to be observed.

 

[kaytieeldr]

But honestly, it's one of those things that I don't understand. Someone decided years and years ago that it was rude, so now people have to abide by what someone else decided was rude a long time ago

Forgetting the 'somebody decided' part... just consider this:

The purpose of the hat is to protect one's head from the elements - sun, rain, snow...
There is no need for such protection indoors - the 'indoors' part takes care of that.
Therefore, there is no need for a hat indoors.

MUCH about good manners and proper etiquette is simply common sense.

 

[kaytieeldr]

Then he really needs something more to worry about

Seriously, manners do dictate that hats should not be worn inside (especially in restaurants)..... However, IMO the exiting patron was just as rude to make the comment.

And as you continued reading this thread, you saw that I took that into consideration in a subsequent response

 

[ICF]

guy here and I would never wear a hat in a restaurant....McDonalds / Wendy's perhaps, but not a sit down "restaurant"

 

[ckay87]

WOW-
thanks for SO many replies...I didn't expect so many people to be online tonight. UPDATE:::: Hubby is all settled down now...LOL...and we made a nice fire and are just relaxing now. it went from 70 degrees this morning to 40 in a matter of 4 hours!!!
I truly have a new perspective on hat etiquette thanks to my DIS friends. I can ALWAYS count on honest answers.
My hubby is 41 and I would like to think he was brought up well. He is very close to his parents and they are absolutely adorable. My hubby was an active United States Marine in Desert Storm, so he has that military type politeness about him (if that makes any sense...). I guess he just missed the boat on this one..shame shame....

I'm really, really surprised that as a Marine, he didn't know about removing a hat indoors or at a table. From what I've seen of the Marines, that is a basic gesture for them.

But I AM sorry that the old man said something. I had an old woman "correct" me once and I thought "what a trashy thing to do." Whatever I did paled greatly in comparison in her complete lack of respect for me. (I left a cart inside rather than outside ) It occurred to me what a harmful thing it is to insult a complete stranger like that. We never know what is going on in someone's life or in someone's mind and that one little comment could be more than they could take.

I'm sorry about it ruining your DH's evening. He sounds like an extremely sensitive guy. I know when that old lady commented to me, I brewed on it a while. Then I finally told myself to just get over it.

Generally speaking, though, elderly people tend to lose the ability to censor themselves. I wonder why that is.

 

[Liberty Belle]

WOW-
thanks for SO many replies...I didn't expect so many people to be online tonight. UPDATE:::: Hubby is all settled down now...LOL...and we made a nice fire and are just relaxing now. it went from 70 degrees this morning to 40 in a matter of 4 hours!!!
I truly have a new perspective on hat etiquette thanks to my DIS friends. I can ALWAYS count on honest answers.
My hubby is 41 and I would like to think he was brought up well. He is very close to his parents and they are absolutely adorable. My hubby was an active United States Marine in Desert Storm, so he has that military type politeness about him (if that makes any sense...). I guess he just missed the boat on this one..shame shame....

That's odd. You'd think he would have been taught that in the military. Maybe he was and just thought/thinks it's a silly piece of etiquette that he doesn't want to follow?

Anyway, glad he's over it.

 

[Liberty Belle]

I'm curious--I haven't been to a sporting event in years. Do men still remove their hats for the national anthem?

Since so many people appear to think that hats are okay in restaurants (btw, it doesn't really matter how much you're spending on the meal--hats should not be worn at the table ever), I just wondered if the removal of hats during the national anthem or at a funeral was now considered some quaint custom that didn't need to be observed.

My sons and husband do. And when we're at a parade and they bring the flag past, they take their hats off, too. If I'm wearing one, I also take it off. All of us also stand. Last time we were at a parade, we saw one other person (an older gentleman) standing. I'm very sad at the lack of respect in our society.

 

[DMickey28]

Unless we are sitting in a Wendy's or something DH takes his hat off.