Can you hold a 2+ toddler on a plane?

[ClarabelleCowFan]

I can't figure out if you're ill informed, delusional, or just plain ignorant. If you didn't have children I would understand your blinkered views, but as you have, I think maybe you've dug yourself into a hole and have no other way out other than to dig further.

I think you hit the nail on the head!

 

[Nanu57v]

On the OT--I try to keep my DD in seat the whole time...its safest for her since turbulance can pop up at any time. If she starts to cry and fuss because she's tired I lean over and hold her while she's still in the carseat. If that isn't working, I tell her I can take her out and hold her for a minute, but then put her back, and usually by this point in that minute she's asleep. And I return her to her carseat. DD3 (just turned 3 in march) has been on 13 flights, and 4 more next month. We ALWAYS bring her carseat for safety reasons, but when she turns 4 we'll probably stop that.

I also be sure to fill a sippy cup (past security) to give her if her ears start to bother her, and pack some sort of snack (its the swallowing that helps). We have crayons, notepad, and stickers too. We usually bring a DVD player or laptop, but it rarely gets used on the plane...it was helpful on our last flight from WDW though when we were delayed 5 hours from Orlando.

To answer the question...I think the over 2's have to follow the same rules as adults...buckles on when the seatbelt sign is on, but best to stay buckled all the time.

 

[jstbcuz]

We just got back and have a 2 year old. This was his first time flying. He had a terrible time on the way there with the pressure. His ears would pop and he'd look around like what happened? We had plenty of things to entertain him, drink, and snacks to boot. Nothing helped. He was bucked during take off and landings, but during the flight, the flight attendent said he could sit on our laps as long as he wasnt sitting on anything hard (arm rests) and he could not touch the seat in front of him (with his feet). He is a pretty calm child that goes with the flow, and so I know he was in pain. As soon as we landed he was fine.

It would be great to time the flight so they will sleep, but that doesnt always work out. We left our house at 5:30AM for a 9:10 flight so I thought he would sleep, as normally he gets up at 9AM and goes down for a nap at 1:00PM. Just didnt work out for whatever reason. No big deal.........you deal with it. Being a parent means being flexible.

On our way home, I bought some ear planes at the store in the airport, and DS let DH put them in but then he took them right out so that didnt help. DH did rub his ears and the area around them before we took off. I dont know if that helped or not, but he seemed to be fine on takeoff. Landing was a different story. The FA came and asked if we wanted some apple juice with a straw to see if that would help. Seemed to help some.

Each kid is different and what works for one may or may not work for another. Thats why we bounce ideas off each other...........so we can get ideas we might not have thought of to try. There shouldnt be attacks or criticizm.

 

[DevilDuckie]

I'd imagine from your posts that you are not close to your children, and they wouldn't feel comfortable coming to you in their times of need if they feel they have to be quiet and perfect all the time around you.



I can't figure out if you're ill informed, delusional, or just plain ignorant. If you didn't have children I would understand your blinkered iews, but as you have, I think maybe you've dug yourself into a hole and have no other way out other than to dig further.

Well, you're so wrong about my relationship with my son, it's laughable. Really. My son manages to be both loving and trusting and well behaved.

I'm sorry if raising children who don't make the rest of the world cringe is "ignorant" or "delusional" but I guess I'll just have to live with that. I shall try to soldier on in the face of the knowledge that people with brats think I'm a bad mother. Oh, woe is me.

 

[madmumof2]

Where did I say you were a bad mother? You'ree one insinuated that if, god forbid, a child has a tanrum, that they're parents can't be doing their jobs right.

Frankly, I don't believe you for a second when you say your children are always well behaved. I don't think many would.

And saying any child who has ever had a tantrum is a brat is extremely ignorant and laughable. I'd rather have a 'brat' who knows how to express his feelings than a supressed child who will have trouble in adult life.

 

[madmumof2]

And by the way, this is coming from a mum of two children who are very well behaved. They do as they're told 90% of the time, never play up when we're out and are two of the best behaved children I know.

Just so you don't think I'm on the defensive. I just don't like people who think their children are perfect, when everyone else sees a different story. I know a lot of mums like that at school and it's quite sad to hear them talking about their perfect child, just to turn and see them hitting another child, or back chatting the teacher. Obviously the mother never sees this and would deny it till her dying day.

Nobody is perfect, not children, not adults. One of the best things you can do as a mother is know your children's faults.

 

[DevilDuckie]

Where did I say you were a bad mother? You'ree one insinuated that if, god forbid, a child has a tanrum, that they're parents can't be doing their jobs right.

Frankly, I don't believe you for a second when you say your children are always well behaved. I don't think many would.

And saying any child who has ever had a tantrum is a brat is extremely ignorant and laughable. I'd rather have a 'brat' who knows how to express his feelings than a supressed child who will have trouble in adult life.

You suggested that I don't know my son and am not available to him and that he is ill behaved. That would be bad parenting.

My child acts up, but not in public where it can annoy other people. That's the difference. I never said he never misbehaves, just that he doesn't do it where he will be a pain for other people. That's responsible parenting. I'm subject to his shenanigans, not hapless strangers.

People who let their kids pitch fits and say, "Oh, I can't control it" are raising brats. Sorry, there's no other word. Tantrums in public are an indulgence that is detrimental to everyone around you and allowing them says that your child's desire to scream is more important than the comfort of those around her. My son is free with expressing his feelings- I hear, "I'm angry" and "I don't like it" on a semi-regular basis now that he's getting older and all emo on me- he just knows that there is a difference between telling people how you feel and manipulative disruptive behavior like screaming or whining.

Learning to control our baser instincts is how we learn to function in society. We are responsible for teaching our children not to hit, spit, throw things, scream in public or damage other people's property. Yes, that means "supressing" their feelings and desires sometimes. A newborn baby is inherently uncivilized. We are responsible for taking this completely self-centered little creature and teaching them how to behave and that other people matter too. Compassion for others involves the tempering of one's own desires because other people have rights as well. When we fail to teach our children that we fail them as well as our community.

 

[DevilDuckie]

Nobody is perfect, not children, not adults. One of the best things you can do as a mother is know your children's faults.

I could give you a laundry list of my son's faults. He's a slob. He has no true understanding of why I hate the nose picking and farting. He watches too much stupid tv. He is stubborn and sometimes sullen and his refusal to make friends under the age of 30 makes me want to kick something. Getting him moving at faster than a slow walk almost requires the use of sheepdogs. He can be impatient and even condescending with people who are slower than he is intellectually or academically.

Here's where the line is:

His room is a den of slovenliness but he will NOT litter.
His butt and the contents of his nose are not for public enjoyment. Ever.
He is prone to sulking but it is not allowed out of the house and frequently we make him do it in his room.
He is required to do a certain amount of hustling whether he likes it or not.
He may not back down when he's wrong but he will be polite about it.

Patience is a virtue and we are not unwilling to draw him up short if we catch him beginning to be unkind about it. He has started to figure out how to be mean without *technically* violating the rules of good behavior and we are coming down on THAT one like a ton of bricks. He'd never use his larger size to bully and we're not letting him use his mind that way either. We will not have a bully of any sort.

He's not perfect and we don't expect him to be. What we expect of him is that he will not be one of those children who makes people want venues to be child-free. He will not be the kid crawling under the table or whining for his DS in a restuarant. He will not be the kid talking in the theatre- not Broadway, not movies. He will not kick your seat or scream in your ear on an airplane. He will not push you because he wants to be in your viewing spot for Fantasmic. He will not run through crowded areas crashing into people. He will use polite and clean language and speak with the best diction he can manage (he has a speech impediment) if he finds himself interacting with you. He will, in short, not ruin your day should your run into him in public. He can come home and ruin mine if necessary, but he isn't YOUR kid. Why should I expect you to deal with his drama?

What he does in the privacy of our home is not always quite so lovely, but that's why we have home manners and pulic manners. I swear to God, though, if he keeps farting in the living room I'm making a new rule.

 

[DISNEYFOS]

Learning to control our baser instincts is how we learn to function in society. We are responsible for teaching our children not to hit, spit, throw things, scream in public or damage other people's property. Yes, that means "supressing" their feelings and desires sometimes. A newborn baby is inherently uncivilized. We are responsible for taking this completely self-centered little creature and teaching them how to behave and that other people matter too. Compassion for others involves the tempering of one's own desires because other people have rights as well. When we fail to teach our children that we fail them as well as our community.

Well said.

I think that it is important for the parent to control the tantrum and remove the child from the environment as quick as possible. For this thread..being on a plane does limit your ability to do so...

but I do think its a parents job to learn what works (for their child) to quiet the tantrum and help the child regain control as quick as possible. This may take a lot of trial and error...

 

[pakhowe]

I could give you a laundry list of my son's faults. He's a slob. He has no true understanding of why I hate the nose picking and farting. He watches too much stupid tv. He is stubborn and sometimes sullen and his refusal to make friends under the age of 30 makes me want to kick something. Getting him moving at faster than a slow walk almost requires the use of sheepdogs. He can be impatient and even condescending with people who are slower than he is intellectually or academically.

Hmmm, I wonder where he gets his condescending attitude from, or his difficulty making friends. I guess it is just a mystery.

 

[DISNEYFOS]

Geez...You guys are kinda rough, donchathink??

I think the main point is (and maybe it doesn't really matter at this point in the thread)..you gotta be able (or try to find a way) to keep the children under control on the plane... in their seat for takeoff or whenever the flight attendant tells you..

 

[madmumof2]

You suggested that I don't know my son and am not available to him and that he is ill behaved. That would be bad parenting.

My child acts up, but not in public where it can annoy other people. That's the difference. I never said he never misbehaves, just that he doesn't do it where he will be a pain for other people. That's responsible parenting. I'm subject to his shenanigans, not hapless strangers.

Different to what? This was a one off tantrum I'm talking about, caused by the FA. The majority here arsaying tantruming doesn't automatically make a child a brat.

People who let their kids pitch fits and say, "Oh, I can't control it" are raising brats. Sorry, there's no other word. Tantrums in public are an indulgence that is detrimental to everyone around you and allowing them says that your child's desire to scream is more important than the comfort of those around her.

I agree, parents who do nothing yes. I can't speak for everyone, but I for one ignore tantrums (other childrens now as mine don't anymore) as that is the most effective way to deal with them. They tantrum for attention, if they don't get attention, they stop. Simple. It's not allowing them their desire to scream, it's diffusing the situation by not giving in.

My son is free with expressing his feelings- I hear, "I'm angry" and "I don't like it" on a semi-regular basis now that he's getting older and all emo on me- he just knows that there is a difference between telling people how you feel and manipulative disruptive behavior like screaming or whining.

Mine to, even at 5 and 2.

Learning to control our baser instincts is how we learn to function in society. We are responsible for teaching our children not to hit, spit, throw things, scream in public or damage other people's property.

I agree.

Yes, that means "supressing" their feelings and desires sometimes.

I disagree. It mean learning to deal with anger, which is what you have just said.

A newborn baby is inherently uncivilized. We are responsible for taking this completely self-centered little creature and teaching them how to behave and that other people matter too. Compassion for others involves the tempering of one's own desires because other people have rights as well. When we fail to teach our children that we fail them as well as our community.

I agree with that too. But a one off tantrum doesn't mean you've failed, or that your child is a brat either. You can't succeed unless you have a challenge to start with.

I could give you a laundry list of my son's faults. He's a slob. He has no true understanding of why I hate the nose picking and farting. He watches too much stupid tv. He is stubborn and sometimes sullen and his refusal to make friends under the age of 30 makes me want to kick something. Getting him moving at faster than a slow walk almost requires the use of sheepdogs. He can be impatient and even condescending with people who are slower than he is intellectually or academically.

You've just described my son! lol Add to that sneaking downstairs in the middle of the night for cookies! How old is yours?

Here's where the line is:

His room is a den of slovenliness but he will NOT litter.
His butt and the contents of his nose are not for public enjoyment. Ever.
He is prone to sulking but it is not allowed out of the house and frequently we make him do it in his room.
He is required to do a certain amount of hustling whether he likes it or not.
He may not back down when he's wrong but he will be polite about it.

Again, same with mine. Although I do make him tidy his (small) room, as I don't want him to be a typical sbby teen I'm fearful of him becoming! lol Another, which you probably wouldn't agree with, is he can be as loud as he likes at the park, but noinside or in our garden where it can annoy the neighbours. A park is for children, so if another person on a phone tells him to be quiet so she can talk, even though she can easily get out of the park, I'll scream! (happened last week at the park. Some people!)

Patience is a virtue and we are not unwilling to draw him up short if we catch him beginning to be unkind about it. He has started to figure out how to be mean without *technically* violating the rules of good behavior and we are coming down on THAT one like a ton of bricks. He'd never use his larger size to bully and we're not letting him use his mind that way either. We will not have a bully of any sort.

He's not perfect and we don't expect him to be. What we expect of him is that he will not be one of those children who makes people want venues to be child-free. He will not be the kid crawling under the table or whining for his DS in a restuarant. He will not be the kid talking in the theatre- not Broadway, not movies. He will not kick your seat or scream in your ear on an airplane. He will not push you because he wants to be in your viewing spot for Fantasmic. He will not run through crowded areas crashing into people. He will use polite and clean language and speak with the best diction he can manage (he has a speech impediment) if he finds himself interacting with you. He will, in short, not ruin your day should your run into him in public. He can come home and ruin mine if necessary, but he isn't YOUR kid. Why should I expect you to deal with his drama?

You see, I agree, and do, all of that too. S do the majority here I'm guessing. This has all stemmed froma very young child being upset on a plane. That's it. No hurting animals, bullying, roaming the streets, etc lol

What he does in the privacy of our home is not always quite so lovely, but that's why we have home manners and pulic manners. I swear to God, though, if he keeps farting in the living room I'm making a new rule.

 

[DevilDuckie]

The quote tags got broken, so bear with me:


Me:My child acts up, but not in public where it can annoy other people. That's the difference.

You:
Different to what? This was a one off tantrum I'm talking about, caused by the FA. The majority here arsaying tantruming doesn't automatically make a child a brat.


Me: Different from a child doing their acting up in public. And no, that tantrum was NOT the FA's fault. The FA wanted the baby to be safe and in the air that's her call to make. The parent is responsible for a child who thinks being told to sit in a seat is a good reason to tantrum. The FA was not asking for the baby to be stuck with pins or starved, just put in a seat.




You:
I agree, parents who do nothing yes. I can't speak for everyone, but I for one ignore tantrums (other childrens now as mine don't anymore) as that is the most effective way to deal with them. They tantrum for attention, if they don't get attention, they stop. Simple. It's not allowing them their desire to scream, it's diffusing the situation by not giving in.


Me:
That's all well and good *at home* but indulging it in public is horribly rude to the rest of the people in the store/plane/themepark/wherever. It means you've decided that everyone else can just suck it up and listen to your kid bellow and that's not okay with me.


Me:
Yes, that means "supressing" their feelings and desires sometimes.

You:
I disagree. It mean learning to deal with anger, which is what you have just said.

Me:
I think we've hit a semantic issue. I believe that feeling angry and acknowledging that anger is fine and good and necessary. Screaming to express it is not. Learning to deal with a feeling means learning to express it in an acceptable manner.


You:
I agree with that too. But a one off tantrum doesn't mean you've failed, or that your child is a brat either. You can't succeed unless you have a challenge to start with.

Me:
It's not one tantrum that defines a brat. I refuse to believe, however, that the children of people who say, "I can't stop them from tantruming" or "you can't control a childn's behavior" stop at one. If the parents are abdicating all accountability there's no way the kids are not taking advantage. They're kids. If you don't set boundaries they will not automatically toe the line. Parents have to draw the line and make it count. People here are claiming that they have no control over whether their kids tantrum which makes me wish that parenting required a license.



You:
You've just described my son! lol Add to that sneaking downstairs in the middle of the night for cookies! How old is yours?

Me:
The Accountant is 10. No sneaking of sweets. We took a fairly controversial stance on junk and it paid off for us. We did not make it verboten. If he asks for a cookie he can probably have one. Only one and not before dinner, but by making it just another food we have kept it from being a binge item. This can backfire horribly, however, so it isn't a method I really recommend. My kid doesn't have a massive sweet tooth or we might have gotten in a real pickle.


You:
Again, same with mine. Although I do make him tidy his (small) room, as I don't want him to be a typical sbby teen I'm fearful of him becoming! lol Another, which you probably wouldn't agree with, is he can be as loud as he likes at the park, but noinside or in our garden where it can annoy the neighbours. A park is for children, so if another person on a phone tells him to be quiet so she can talk, even though she can easily get out of the park, I'll scream! (happened last week at the park. Some people!)

Me:

Well... yes and no. I certainly don't ask children to hush on a playground, but in a picnic area or other all-ages oriented part I might ask them to not scream quite so close. We have to balance between one person's desire to be loud and another's desire for some peace. Generally it is easy to compromise.

You:
You see, I agree, and do, all of that too. S do the majority here I'm guessing. This has all stemmed froma very young child being upset on a plane. That's it. No hurting animals, bullying, roaming the streets, etc lol

Me:
Sadly, no they don't. There is a huge contingent here who think that their kids should be allowed to "just be kids" and fool around in restaurants, wear heelies in shopping malls and theme parks and throw tantrums in the grocery store. (Remember, their parents can't stop them.) The amount of truly hellish behavior people justify from their kids is staggering. And it didn't stem from a child being upset- it stemmed from the behavior that was then allowed by the parent and the attitude of blaming the FA for being so unreasonable as to ask that a child sit in a seat for safety reasons. I don't care if the kid is mad, I only care if she starts screaming about it and the parent thinks this is acceptable, not their problem or someone else's fault.

 

[DevilDuckie]

Hmmm, I wonder where he gets his condescending attitude from, or his difficulty making friends. I guess it is just a mystery.

I'll just pray he grows up to be like you.

 

[Nanu57v]

He was bucked during take off and landings, but during the flight, the flight attendent said he could sit on our laps as long as he wasnt sitting on anything hard (arm rests) and he could not touch the seat in front of him (with his feet)..

Thats so funny they said that about him touching things with his feet. When DD is in her seat she is in perfect kicking position! She was good on the last flight, but before I'd have to take off her shoes and hold her feet the whole trip.

 

[PEANUT1]

My daughter liked to be buckled up. On the way to Disney in May my 1 1/2 year old didn't have a seat so she was on our lap. Coming home, there was an empty seat next to us and she actually did much better sitting in her own seat. You may be pleasantly surprised with them liking the seat. For our next trip she will be 2 and I will bring the carseat on the plane.

 

[eeyoregon]

Benadryl works on *most* children, but you need to be careful to test it ahead of time. A small percentage are amped up rather than sedated by the meds and that's not at all what you want!

You have that backwards! Very FEW young children experience sedation with benadryl. Small bodies metabolize medication VERY differently than adults do and in almost all children it will cause irritability and hyperness and aggitation....not sleepiness/drowsiness.

 

[eeyoregon]

You have that backwards! Very FEW young children experience sedation with benadryl. Small bodies metabolize medication VERY differently than adults do and in almost all children it will cause irritability and hyperness and aggitation....not sleepiness/drowsiness.

P.S. If you pediatrician recommends/condones it I would get a new doctor ASAP because he/she obviously slept thru the pharmacolgy module in med school.

 

[eeyoregon]

Hmmm, I wonder where he gets his condescending attitude from, or his difficulty making friends. I guess it is just a mystery.

That there post made me INK!!!!

 

[_queenie_]

Goodness, I thought this was a thread about holding young children on airlines, not a game of who's the better parent?

Be nice guys, this thread seems to be heading towards the road of getting shut down.