Can you hold a 2+ toddler on a plane?

[tanyaandallie]

My ds is 3 now and we flew 2 or 3 times when he was 2. He had his own seat and he had his carseat on the plane with us. Despite that, he spent lots of time on my lap. On the last flight we took he actually did much better but he still ended up sleeping in my lap. No flight attendant ever said a word to me at landing. He was buckled in on take off. He was not buckled in on landing. No one said a word.

 

[tanyaandallie]

I'm sure the passengers around me were none-too-pleased with that flight attendant!

QUOTE]


I'd have been irritated with you for letting her tantrum, not the FA for keeping her as safe as possible. Sorry, but that's how the accountability falls for me. That woman wanted your baby to be safe.

Letting her tantrum? We are talking about kids here. Since when did parents give their kids permission to cry or throw a tantrum? Crying babies and tantrum throwing toddler (and older kids) happen despite parents best intentions!

 

[lori123]

I just wanted to agree with the other posters about bringing your car seat on. I travelled with my twins starting at 3 months about 4 times a year (most of the time by myself) so it wasn't really an option to hold both of them. When they were in their carseats they SLEPT - it was so wonderful - I didn't know what to do the first time since I didn't even bring a book or anything for myself! Not only do they tend to sleep, but as mine got older they thought about it just like a car - getting out wasn't an option. Just think about how you would keep them calm and comfortable in the car - hopefully it helps in the plane. Once they are up running around though they learn fast and usually don't want to get back in - so I never started. That all worked until potty training - LOL - then it was many suprises pulled out of a packed carry on since I still didn't want them up and around. I'm sure you will find a way to make it work for you - that's what we mommy's do best! Good Luck!

 

[lori123]

My ds is 3 now and we flew 2 or 3 times when he was 2. He had his own seat and he had his carseat on the plane with us. Despite that, he spent lots of time on my lap. On the last flight we took he actually did much better but he still ended up sleeping in my lap. No flight attendant ever said a word to me at landing. He was buckled in on take off. He was not buckled in on landing. No one said a word.

I think the "rule" is they HAVE to be buckled in - I know I have had to wake sleeping kids and buckle them in. That said - I don't think the flight attendants notice everything all the time (I have seen plenty of seat backs not up and bags not stowed upon take off and landing). So, I would say - do as you are comfortable - but be prepared that they may see and ask you to buckle him in. I have seen so many people get nasty with FA's when they are just doing their job. (I am not in ANY WAY suggesting you would - just more of a disclaimer for others reading that this would apply to .

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Letting her tantrum? We are talking about kids here. Since when did parents give their kids permission to cry or throw a tantrum? Crying babies and tantrum throwing toddler (and older kids) happen despite parents best intentions!

I don't totally agree with this statement. No we cannot always stop our kids from tantrumming but I think parents some of the time have a lot to do with it.


I just wanted to add that we never fly with carseats and the kids are fine with it. We talk up how excited we are, how we are going to fly like Tinkerbell, Superman etc. We act like it is some big exciting ride we are going on. Good luck! I wouldn't stress abou it. As long as you are calm your child will pick up on that and be calm too.

 

[madmumof2]

The only thing a parent should do while a child is tantruming is ignore them. Being upset and scared and in pain is a different matter. IMO the flight attendant made the baby's distress worse, and the mother was doing what a mother should until she came along. Plus, the baby was under two, so the FA had no right to tell the lady to put her in a seat in the first place.

To the OP, I was getting a bit worried about this with my two. Mine will be 5 and 3. I'm not too worried about them doing as they're told, but am about ear pressure, and I don't want them to be in pain. Does sucking a boiled sweet really work? lol

Gem x

 

[madmumof2]

And LOL at 'letting her tantrum'! What, exactly, does that mean?

 

[tjmw2727]

The only thing a parent should do while a child is tantruming is ignore them. Being upset and scared and in pain is a different matter. IMO the flight attendant made the baby's distress worse, and the mother was doing what a mother should until she came along. Plus, the baby was under two, so the FA had no right to tell the lady to put her in a seat in the first place.

To the OP, I was getting a bit worried about this with my two. Mine will be 5 and 3. I'm not too worried about them doing as they're told, but am about ear pressure, and I don't want them to be in pain. Does sucking a boiled sweet really work? lol
Gem x

Don't worry, most kids don't have any problems adjusting to the pressure and it helps if you can stay calm since as we all know our kids will feed off of our "concern".

If you can get the child to swallow that is ideal to ease air pressure. We chew gum - but its not the chewing that helps it is the swallowing. So for a child who can't chew gum a bottle/sippie cup is good as are chewy snacks and such. For an older toddler you can do the gerber type fruit chews or maybe a lollypop. For a younger child even cheerios would help.

I found that if my kids were going to have issues it was at landing rather than takeoff and if they were asleep they were fine.

TJ

 

[madmumof2]

Oh thank you, that's good to know. I remember my first trip to Florida. On the plane there we had really bad turbulance and I remember screaming as the pain in my ears was so bad lol. Only the once though and I was ten then.

A drink and chewy sweets sounds good, I'll have to remember that.

Thanks again.

 

[DevilDuckie]

And LOL at 'letting her tantrum'! What, exactly, does that mean?

That would be when you allow your child to scream and throw a fit and annoy the people around you. Seriously. Did nobody get the memo that there are ways to stave off this sort of behavior on a plane?


Yes, your child screaming is your fault, not the flight attendant's. Yes, it is a predictable and preventable situation.

 

[fakereadhed]

D Does anyone know if you can hold a child over 2 when the 'seatbelt light' is on? TIA.

Yes, you can! But please consider the safety of your kids and think it though. I wouldn't do it.

 

[Matt'nMeg'sMom]

Any child over two is a ticketed passenger, therefore they must have a seat and a seatbelt and must be in it when the seatbelt light is on.

If you choose to disregard the rules, that's your decision. Be aware the flight crew may remind you of the rules and may firmly insist on compliance.

---
Personally - my toddlers never had a chance to suffer ear pain or throw tantrums on a plane. I ALWAYS made sure they slept (primarily for their comfort and secondarily for the comfort of everyone else.)

 

[barnaby1]

We recently flew for the first time since our dd turned 2 (many flights as a lap child before that). She was hesitant when I told her she would have her own seat but we turned it into a game and "practiced" at home on the settee putting our seat belts on and off etc. I also said she had to hold her dolly on the flight as she was the baby so we practiced that too. She was fine on the flight. She was allowed to sit on my lap during turbulance (she was asleep at the time and the flight attendant told me just to wrap the seat belt around both of us) but for take off and landing she had to be strapped in her own seat.
A sippy cup will normally stave off ear pain.

 

[tjmw2727]

We recently flew for the first time since our dd turned 2 (many flights as a lap child before that). She was hesitant when I told her she would have her own seat but we turned it into a game and "practiced" at home on the settee putting our seat belts on and off etc. I also said she had to hold her dolly on the flight as she was the baby so we practiced that too. She was fine on the flight. She was allowed to sit on my lap during turbulance (she was asleep at the time and the flight attendant told me just to wrap the seat belt around both of us) but for take off and landing she had to be strapped in her own seat.
A sippy cup will normally stave off ear pain.

Wow - I don't doubt your story but I am stunned that a FA would allow this nevermind recommend it. .


Putting the seat belt around you and your child is very dangerous - esp in the event of turbulance. It will cause your child to act as an airbag for you putting all your weight and force onto the child.

Again - not a flame, but I can't let this go without mentioning for future travelers. Young children are safest is a carseat, next best is the airplane seatbelt but if you are going to hold your child on your lap they should never be belted in with you.

TJ

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Any child over two is a ticketed passenger, therefore they must have a seat and a seatbelt and must be in it when the seatbelt light is on.

If you choose to disregard the rules, that's your decision. Be aware the flight crew may remind you of the rules and may firmly insist on compliance.

---
Personally - my toddlers never had a chance to suffer ear pain or throw tantrums on a plane. I ALWAYS made sure they slept (primarily for their comfort and secondarily for the comfort of everyone else.)

Are you magical?
Seriously- how do you make a child sleep if they are not tired? Am I just reading this post wrong?

 

[Not so Dumbo]

We brought a car seat for DD2. She was in it for take off and landing, but was upset during the flight and I held her. The seatbelt light came on and the pilot said there may be some turbulence, but I still held her. The flight attendant saw me but didn't say anything.

 

[DevilDuckie]

Are you magical?
Seriously- how do you make a child sleep if they are not tired? Am I just reading this post wrong?

The easiest way is scheduling. Choose a flight that takes off near your child's nap or bedtime. Reinforce this by making sure their sleep schedule is *very* regular for the couple weeks ahead of time.

Benadryl works on *most* children, but you need to be careful to test it ahead of time. A small percentage are amped up rather than sedated by the meds and that's not at all what you want!

It's not about making them sleep when they're not tired, it's all about making them tired at the right moment.

 

[FoundMyPrince]

That would be when you allow your child to scream and throw a fit and annoy the people around you. Seriously. Did nobody get the memo that there are ways to stave off this sort of behavior on a plane?


Yes, your child screaming is your fault, not the flight attendant's. Yes, it is a predictable and preventable situation.

Are you for real? Goodness, come down to planet Earth and realize that some kids aren't always predictable. Some kids get upset on planes. Some kids are screamers. Sometimes you get stuck in a gate for two hours waiting to take off because a chair in the exit aisle is broken. Some kids freak out when those engines rev up and the clouds start whizzing by. I could go on, but I dont' think you'd really care.



OP: I flew with DD2 a few weeks ago. She had her own seat, but I lifted the armrest and she and I cuddled (she was seatbelted). I was practically holding her, but she wasn't on my lap.

 

[madmumof2]

That would be when you allow your child to scream and throw a fit and annoy the people around you. Seriously. Did nobody get the memo that there are ways to stave off this sort of behavior on a plane?


Yes, your child screaming is your fault, not the flight attendant's. Yes, it is a predictable and preventable situation.

You don't 'allow' children to tantrum, they just do and if you can't prevent it (and no matter how hard you try, this sometimes is impossible) then you do your best to top it, which usually involves ignoring them.

This mother was already comforting her child when the FA mae her move her, which made her scream. So yes, the screaming was the FA fault, as she stopped the comforting from the mother, even though she had no right to at all.

Plus, like I said before, it most likely was not a tantrum. The first time I went on a plane it hurt. I was scared by the the size and was in pain. I was crying my eyes out but I certainly was not tantruming.

Bottom line, no-one should be so small minded and ignorant to judge a parent by her childs 'tantrum'. It happens to everyone, and people who moan about it probaby have no experience with children and can swivel for all I care.

 

[frtchr]

The easiest way is scheduling. Choose a flight that takes off near your child's nap or bedtime. Reinforce this by making sure their sleep schedule is *very* regular for the couple weeks ahead of time.

Benadryl works on *most* children, but you need to be careful to test it ahead of time. A small percentage are amped up rather than sedated by the meds and that's not at all what you want!

It's not about making them sleep when they're not tired, it's all about making them tired at the right moment.

The best laid plans... We did that on our last two trips, and it never worked. Our DD is on a totally regular sleep schedule, but flying was apparently just too exciting for her. The Benadryl did NOTHING to her: no sleepiness, no hyperactivity. Little ones are mysteries, and that's just part of why they're so cool!