Can you handle another potty training question?

[Hillbeans]

Ok, I really need some help!

My DS is almost 3.5 and he's close to 75% trained. He'll go # 1 no problem and he's dry all night. Yesterday after daycare, I had his pants off for 3 hours until the minute I was putting on his pull-up to go to bed. I knew he had to do # 2 but he must have held it in for those 3 hours and one second after I put the pull-up on he went.

I didn't want to yell at him, but I was soooooo frustrated. How can I get him to do # 2 on the potty and not be scared???

 

[castlegazer]

I don't know - we have hit stagnation period too - no progress has been made in a while.

I wanted to give you a bump though.

You know, I got something off another of our potty training threads where the man said that he told his son that when poops are in the diaper they are unhappy poops and when poops go into the potty they are happy. I tried this and it didn't work because it was too early to do this for my son. But it may work for you as yours is older. They always say not to say its yucky or gross, but come on, it is yucky and gross to sit around in a stinky diaper and I alwasy stress, to make Mommy change it!

 

[bananiem]

Potty training is the worst, isn't it? I honestly don't know if I could survive having to do one more!!
I don't know how to get them to be less scared about it. I do know that he won't be wearing Depends at his wedding. It seems that if you can get them to do it once or twice and really make a big deal out of it then they'll get the idea.
If you're having him sit on the adult sized toilet instead of one on the floor you might want to try getting a step stool he could set his feet on. The "experts" say they'll feel more secure (not like they'll fall off) and will push their feet against it to "help" them.
Good luck!

 

[twinmomplus2new]

I know its hard, But the number one bit of advice I can give you is... Throw away the pull ups, they are just diapers. He knows they are. thats why he waited. You will have a few unpleasant messes to clean up, but it will go much quicker. My twins(boys) were fully trained 3 mts shy of three. It was alot of work but it was acomplished in a week. once the pull ups were gone! I put a large glass bowl full of thier fave candy in this place. Foil wrapped chocolate eggs. The bowl was clear and set up high so they could see it but not reach it. And every time they went potty they got one for each little hand.

May I also suggest little boys boxer shorts. They were a huge help. It enable me to let them hang loose without offending the neighborhood. They can be found at Target and somtimes Walmart. We have the Hulk, Spiderman, and Spongebob. You will have to probably shampoo your rugs after the first week of this method. But I promise it works!!!! good Luck!

 

[pkasbohm]

My son use to do this and we just quit using pull-ups because he thought of them as a diaper and i was ok to poop in them. If he had underwear on he would hold it until he couldn't then I knew he had to go and put him on the toilet and he went to potty and it came out--after that he started going on the toilet. I think they are scared to go at first because they don't know any better. Good luck--i know how frustrating it is! I am going to start training my dd here soon. I will probably post the next potty training question

Pam

 

[HappyMommy2]

Ah yes, we had the exact same problem with our DS. He was completely #1 trained at 2 1/2 but for months he was terrifed to do #2 in the toilet and would beg for a pullup each day to do it in. He would hold it for days if I didn't give him a pullup--our ped said that wasn't good, and that we should give DS some more time and encouragement and see what happened.

What finally worked was to tell him I'd give him a pullup go "go" in, but he had to go into the bathroom to do it, and then I'd give him a small treat like a popsicle--and of course we "celebrated" and made a big deal of his "success". After a few days of this, I told him he needed to stand on the toilet to do it (pullup still on) and then he got a small treat. The next day I had him actually sit on the toilet seat (pullup still on) to do #2. After a couple days of this, I told him that if he would do #2 in the toilet with no pullup on, I would get him a very special toy he had been wanting for a long time. I found a picture of the toy in a magazine and cut that out and posted it by the toilet for inspiration, and the very next day DS finally did #2 IN the toilet! I actually danced and cried for joy and DS was so happy and proud. We bought the toy that day and have had no problems since. Once he actually had success, his fears were gone.

Different things work for different children, but this was what worked for us! Good luck!

 

[Hillbeans]

Thanks to everyone for your great replies.

We just moved him to a twin bed, and he's doing great. Part of that is because he LOVES his spongebob sheets. Perhaps it's time go to and get spongebob underwear.

We had thought we turned a corner a few weeks ago when he went 4 days in a row...then he got a terrible rash down there and after that it hurt him to go and we regressed. I got a sticker wheel from Charmin which he likes and I've been giving him lollypops for going # 1 on the potty.

I'd like to start underwear in the PM since he's dry at night so that's my plan for tonight. I do have Nemo underwear but I know he'd really love the spongebob ones.

I do know this will get messy which is probably why i'm dreading having him in underwear only. If it helps though, then i'd rather go through one or two bad weeks of cleaning up than doing diapers much longer.

 

[Melora]

Same problem here with our 3 year old. Hes been #1 trained for quite a long time,. I finally gave up pull ups when we went out and hes been great.. no accidents even at night, but as soon as he needs to go #2 he cries until he gets a pull up and will NOT go unless hes got one on. He wants to stand to go and even though he has sat on the potty nothing has ever come of it....

I am tired of changing stinky diapers! I tell him "poopy goes in the potty", but somehow I think he figures it means that I dump it in there after he does it in the pull up....

Any other suggestions would be appreciated!

Ds (9) used to be so scared of pooping that he would hold it for days and dys until he couldnt anymore then he would go in his pants.... it wasnt the toilet he was scared of.. it we the actual event! He finally grew out of it, but it went on for about 3 months.

 

[DISshopkeeper]

DS was the same way. Every night he'd wait for that nightime diaper to do the #2 and I'd go in and change him AFTER he was asleep!

He's 17 now and it's getting hard to lift his bottom up for the wipe.


JUST KIDDING!!!! I honestly can't remember how we solved it, but somehow it turned out OK.

Good luck to you!! It will all work out!

 

[Hillbeans]

Originally posted by DISshopkeeper

He's 17 now and it's getting hard to lift his bottom up for the wipe.


JUST KIDDING!!!! I honestly can't remember how we solved it, but somehow it turned out OK.

Good luck to you!! It will all work out!

LOL - I needed that joke, because some days it seems like he will be 17!

 

[CEDmom]

I know this might sound strange but have you tried asking your DS what he thinks might help him use the potty. We did this with DD and giving her that little bit of control really helped. She decided a promise of a trip to Chuck E Cheese would do the trick. Heck, I was almost willing to spring for WDW.

BTW, it's great he's dry through the night DD will be 5 in a few months and although she's fine during the day she still cannot stay dry overnight. We've tried giving up the pullups on several occasions w/o success. I've decided not to stress over that and just let nature take its course.

One last thing, what you're going through is not all that unusual. I have several friends that had the same issue and miraculously it resolved itself almost overnight. So patience might just be the way to go if nothing else seems to be working. Good luck .

 

[canwegosoon]

Potty training is so stressful on the parents. I waited until my boys were 3yrs+3mos. Didn't even try before due to some logistical issues. Once I started it was directly to underware. There was a potty seat in the bathroom, and their bedroom, just in case, and also one of those soft toliet seats, if they wanted to be big boys. They were done 90% in 1 week and totally done in 2 weeks. They usually had to go to the bathroom around the same times each day. And just don't plan on going anywhere for 2 weeks. After that I remember bringing along extra changes of clothes for just in case, but did not need them.

The best advice I got though was that "they are not going to go to college in diapers". It always makes me laugh...the picture in my mind. I also gave the boys little rewards like stamps and stickers. They loved them. Good Luck...it will happen!!

 

[Hillbeans]

My son hasn't exactly been early with anything (except 2 days early when he was born!). He walked at 16 months, never crawled, didn't eat solids until late, etc.

We didn't really start the potty training until he was close to 3. He truly just has no desire to do it at all...I guess that's the issue.

He loves diapers, and in fact, I think he enjoys being "babied". He has memorized 15 + books at home, but then at school he'll baby talk to his teachers. I'm trying not to "baby" him anymore, and I told him that diapers are for babies. I know he can go # 2 in the potty, but it's like a power struggle. With him, one day he's ready and that's that. But in this case, he's not going to move to the next daycare class w/o being potty trained. I know that our town pool will be open on the weekends and I refuse to buy swimming diapers. I know he'll go # 2 if I tell him he can't use the pool. I tend not to "push" issues with him, they do tend to resolve themselves, but this one is just tough.

 

[CEDmom]

Originally posted by Hillbeans
But in this case, he's not going to move to the next daycare class w/o being potty trained.

We had this same problem with DD. She was supposed to move to the preschool class in Sept 2003 just after her 3rd b'day in late August. They said she couldn't move if she wasn't fully potty trained. Like your DS we knew she knew how to go it was just a power thing. We actually used the school thing as part of the incentive. She had a few good friends and wouldn't be moving up with them. We kept explaining this to her everytime she had an "accident". I hesitate to use that term because that not what they really were. She wouldn't even make an attempt to get to the bathroom when she had to go if she didn't feel like it. Finally 3 days before her 3rd birthday everything just clicked and that was that. Now if only she'd stay dry at night. But I guess a wet pullup isn't too bad and she actually takes it off herself.

 

[HappyMommy2]

Originally posted by CEDmom
She decided a promise of a trip to Chuck E Cheese would do the trick. Heck, I was almost willing to spring for WDW.

.

So funny, but so true! I would have given DS almost ANYTHING if it would have helped him use the potty--luckily it only took the Fisher Price Airport set ($39.99 at Toys R Us was a small price to pay for no more diapers!). BTW I don't normally bribe my kids but for potty training rewards seem to be very helpful!

 

[Disfan1]

Originally posted by CEDmom
Heck, I was almost willing to spring for WDW.

That's exactly what I had to do to get DS completely trained. I tried everything else and finally, in frustration told DS he couldn't go visit Mickey Mouse until he was potty trained (he was almost 4)! We took him to WDW a few weeks later because he started going to the potty that very same day. I guess he just needed the right inspiration.

 

[CEDmom]

Originally posted by HappyMommy2
So funny, but so true! I would have given DS almost ANYTHING if it would have helped him use the potty--luckily it only took the Fisher Price Airport set ($39.99 at Toys R Us was a small price to pay for no more diapers!). BTW I don't normally bribe my kids but for potty training rewards seem to be very helpful!

We don't bribe normally either. But desperate times call for desperate measures .

 

[Hillbeans]

Hmm...maybe it's just my son, but he doesn't ever ask for toys or things like that. He does like food though, so I bribe him with lollypops. I'm pretty lucky that when we're out at the store he'll generally leave stuff and never asks to get something. He actually tells me to put stuff back where it belongs on the shelf - LOL.

Well, tonight i'm getting this ball rolling again. Hopefully in a few weeks i'll update that we're all done!