can you bring gum on plane

[CPT Tripss]

I never intended all this bickering (I know s/he left). I had only hoped that some of the "rules are rules" folks would reflect on absurdity of some of the present rules. By the way the gel shoe insoles work wonders for diabetic ulcers!

Just to point out what happens with silly rules - security in Zurich is confiscating bottle caps from pill (and other) bottles in carry on luggage of travelers to the USA. The rationale, it will keep liquids from being mixed and is a logical extension of the TSA rule!

 

[gopherit]

Well, let’s face it – no matter how the TSA may try to cover all the bases, it’s just too tough a job. Whenever you make a set of rules for people, you will invariably also create gaps, loopholes, and room for personal interpretation, and will seem to penalize some folks, while perhaps being permissive to others. History is filled with rule makers and rule breakers. Just ask Moses and Bill Clinton.

Once again – it’s also not unlike raising kids. If I tell my little trio, “You must be in bed by 9 pm”, I may get exactly what I ask for – 3 kids in bed. However, all 3 may be WIDE awake until midnight (after all, as they will quickly note, I never said “asleep”). Similarly, there’s no guarantee that the rascals will have brushed their teeth, put on their pajamas, or even be remotely clean, for that matter. But they will be in bed at 9 pm, by golly, and as such will have technically complied with my demands. Now of course, if I took the time to spell out EVERY little thing I need them to do prior to them hopping in that bed, well, it might be 10 pm before I finish the directions, which would, at conclusion, find them as sad little puddles of snoozing protoplasm at my feet. Teeth unbrushed, pajamas unworn, dirty little doggies. So instead, I just holler out, “Be in bed by 9 pm” and hope they will INFER what is required of them. You do what you can with what ya got, I guess. Same for TSA – they spell it out as best they can. So you wear a prosthetic gel-filled bra due to mastectomy – understood and a-ok. And this person wears stuffed bra just for jollies? Well, today’s her lucky day, she gets the free pass, too. But try to move gel technology 50 inches south to soothe your feet and you’re in the doghouse. I can see it now…people stuffing their shirts and bras with their footpads just to get them in the gate. Tsk tsk.

Which is precisely why I’d like to propose a NEW system. I say take down those lists, TSA. Let’s keep it fresh and new, and turn air travel into a game of sheer luck with totally random bans and confiscations.

For example: Day One, you get to the airport, and they announce to you - no gels. No gel handsoaps, lotions, or medicines will be allowed. Did you put gel in your hair today? Too bad – wash it out or take a bus, sister. Not only will gel insoles be forbidden, but anyone professing even an inkling of approval towards the Dr. Scholl’s ads by making annoying “-ellan” rhymes will be instantly thrown off the plane, NO exceptions. And your name is Nigel? Well, no soup (or seat) for you, gel-boy.

Day 2: Gel is back “on”, but now, it’s Anti-Gum Day. That’s right, no gum, none, nada, zippo, no gum or anything containing gum, resembling gum or wishing to become gum in a future life. Wonder no more about the squishy-liquid-filled gum versus the non-squishy-liquid filled gum- it doesn’t matter now, because BOTH are so very OFF the play list. Gummy bears, gumdrops, Forest Gump, Grandma’s dentures, and the little flexible little green dude - all will be left at the gate. (Pokey, however, can go, so long as he agrees to never utter Gumby’s name while in flight. If he speaks the name even once, however, we shove him clay hooves and all into the Portalet and flush ‘em. Mercy is for wimps.)

Day 3: No one will be allowed on board with anything that starts with the letter “P” nor anything that Al Gore claims to have invented. Enough said.

So….now be honest … Can’t you just FEEL the magic of it all? Every day a new surprise…And the possibilities are ENDLESS!

By doing it this way, no one ever knows what is or isn’t allowed, including those who would mean to do us harm. We keep the terrorists guessing and on their toes…gellin’ or not. Sure, it might mean a hassle for all of us… then again, it could be fun, sort of an airport “deal or no deal” wherein you have to guess what to put IN the suitcase rather than what you’re going to get to take OUT. And you would never know what to expect, so you wouldn’t need to go to forums to ask for clarification – there would be no rules, other than the Imperial Rule of whatever the airport decision du jour might be. Instead of having heated debates about what is /isn’t allowed and how to interpret what each other had written, or intended to write, or any nested innuendo, we could instead be having jolly good discussions about how Uncle Hobart had to leave his toupee at O’Hare because it was “No Small Furry Animals or Things That Resemble Them” day. Think of the joy we are missing, people.

Sheer randomness is the real key to it all….because why would we want a terrorist to KNOW what’s allowed? It’s like giving away the answers to the pop quiz. Or like telling my kids to be “in bed by 9 pm”…. Now I hardly think I’m raising terrorists (though our cat strongly disagrees), but just as I already noted in this post, if my kids can find a way to use the instructions given and work around the system to their eventual advantage, so can the ne’er-do-wells. Randomness – that’s the key to our safety. That, and a dungeon to dump the repeat offenders. We need a really depressing dungeon complete with lots of rats, some mental torture, and really bad food. Or we could just send the guilty to political fund-raiser banquets. It’s the same thing.

But wait – there’s more - here’s an added benefit to the grand plan – we could sell the massive amounts of stuff the airports collect from the would-be travelers on eBay. We could then use the money for good instead of evil, such as much-needed advancements in modern transportation, like, for example, a seat that fits someone 6 foot 2, not 2 foot six. Think of the senseless knee injuries we could prevent. And we could also spend a bit of the moolah on aircraft maintenance and repair. The gov’t can tap dance nekked to prevent terrorists from taking over the plane, but with all the cut-backs and financial woes of the airline industry over the past several years, “safe” won’t mean much to this gopher if you can’t keep me airborne at 30 thou and bring me back down happily in one piece.

Well, these are just some thoughts from the Gopher…but what do I know, I’m not even in the book. I’ll be crawling down off my soap box … er, dirt hill… now and back in the hole for my din-din. You’re welcome to join me, but please note, it’s “No Things That Are Made of Polyvinylchloride” Day at our home, so you’ll have to leave those rainboots just outside the burrow.

Ciao!

 

[disneyldwjr]

Well, let’s face it – no matter how the TSA may try to cover all the bases, it’s just too tough a job. Whenever you make a set of rules for people, you will invariably also create gaps, loopholes, and room for personal interpretation, and will seem to penalize some folks, while perhaps being permissive to others. History is filled with rule makers and rule breakers. Just ask Moses and Bill Clinton.

Once again – it’s also not unlike raising kids. If I tell my little trio, “You must be in bed by 9 pm”, I may get exactly what I ask for – 3 kids in bed. However, all 3 may be WIDE awake until midnight (after all, as they will quickly note, I never said “asleep”). Similarly, there’s no guarantee that the rascals will have brushed their teeth, put on their pajamas, or even be remotely clean, for that matter. But they will be in bed at 9 pm, by golly, and as such will have technically complied with my demands. Now of course, if I took the time to spell out EVERY little thing I need them to do prior to them hopping in that bed, well, it might be 10 pm before I finish the directions, which would, at conclusion, find them as sad little puddles of snoozing protoplasm at my feet. Teeth unbrushed, pajamas unworn, dirty little doggies. So instead, I just holler out, “Be in bed by 9 pm” and hope they will INFER what is required of them. You do what you can with what ya got, I guess. Same for TSA – they spell it out as best they can. So you wear a prosthetic gel-filled bra due to mastectomy – understood and a-ok. And this person wears stuffed bra just for jollies? Well, today’s her lucky day, she gets the free pass, too. But try to move gel technology 50 inches south to soothe your feet and you’re in the doghouse. I can see it now…people stuffing their shirts and bras with their footpads just to get them in the gate. Tsk tsk.

Which is precisely why I’d like to propose a NEW system. I say take down those lists, TSA. Let’s keep it fresh and new, and turn air travel into a game of sheer luck with totally random bans and confiscations.

For example: Day One, you get to the airport, and they announce to you - no gels. No gel handsoaps, lotions, or medicines will be allowed. Did you put gel in your hair today? Too bad – wash it out or take a bus, sister. Not only will gel insoles be forbidden, but anyone professing even an inkling of approval towards the Dr. Scholl’s ads by making annoying “-ellan” rhymes will be instantly thrown off the plane, NO exceptions. And your name is Nigel? Well, no soup (or seat) for you, gel-boy.

Day 2: Gel is back “on”, but now, it’s Anti-Gum Day. That’s right, no gum, none, nada, zippo, no gum or anything containing gum, resembling gum or wishing to become gum in a future life. Wonder no more about the squishy-liquid-filled gum versus the non-squishy-liquid filled gum- it doesn’t matter now, because BOTH are so very OFF the play list. Gummy bears, gumdrops, Forest Gump, Grandma’s dentures, and the little flexible little green dude - all will be left at the gate. (Pokey, however, can go, so long as he agrees to never utter Gumby’s name while in flight. If he speaks the name even once, however, we shove him clay hooves and all into the Portalet and flush ‘em. Mercy is for wimps.)

Day 3: No one will be allowed on board with anything that starts with the letter “P” nor anything that Al Gore claims to have invented. Enough said.

So….now be honest … Can’t you just FEEL the magic of it all? Every day a new surprise…And the possibilities are ENDLESS!

By doing it this way, no one ever knows what is or isn’t allowed, including those who would mean to do us harm. We keep the terrorists guessing and on their toes…gellin’ or not. Sure, it might mean a hassle for all of us… then again, it could be fun, sort of an airport “deal or no deal” wherein you have to guess what to put IN the suitcase rather than what you’re going to get to take OUT. And you would never know what to expect, so you wouldn’t need to go to forums to ask for clarification – there would be no rules, other than the Imperial Rule of whatever the airport decision du jour might be. Instead of having heated debates about what is /isn’t allowed and how to interpret what each other had written, or intended to write, or any nested innuendo, we could instead be having jolly good discussions about how Uncle Hobart had to leave his toupee at O’Hare because it was “No Small Furry Animals or Things That Resemble Them” day. Think of the joy we are missing, people.

Sheer randomness is the real key to it all….because why would we want a terrorist to KNOW what’s allowed? It’s like giving away the answers to the pop quiz. Or like telling my kids to be “in bed by 9 pm”…. Now I hardly think I’m raising terrorists (though our cat strongly disagrees), but just as I already noted in this post, if my kids can find a way to use the instructions given and work around the system to their eventual advantage, so can the ne’er-do-wells. Randomness – that’s the key to our safety. That, and a dungeon to dump the repeat offenders. We need a really depressing dungeon complete with lots of rats, some mental torture, and really bad food. Or we could just send the guilty to political fund-raiser banquets. It’s the same thing.

But wait – there’s more - here’s an added benefit to the grand plan – we could sell the massive amounts of stuff the airports collect from the would-be travelers on eBay. We could then use the money for good instead of evil, such as much-needed advancements in modern transportation, like, for example, a seat that fits someone 6 foot 2, not 2 foot six. Think of the senseless knee injuries we could prevent. And we could also spend a bit of the moolah on aircraft maintenance and repair. The gov’t can tap dance nekked to prevent terrorists from taking over the plane, but with all the cut-backs and financial woes of the airline industry over the past several years, “safe” won’t mean much to this gopher if you can’t keep me airborne at 30 thou and bring me back down happily in one piece.

Well, these are just some thoughts from the Gopher…but what do I know, I’m not even in the book. I’ll be crawling down off my soap box … er, dirt hill… now and back in the hole for my din-din. You’re welcome to join me, but please note, it’s “No Things That Are Made of Polyvinylchloride” Day at our home, so you’ll have to leave those rainboots just outside the burrow.

Ciao!

ROTFL!!!!!!! You have missed you calling. Dennis Miller, watch out!!!!!!

 

[disneyldwjr]

I never intended all this bickering (I know s/he left). I had only hoped that some of the "rules are rules" folks would reflect on absurdity of some of the present rules. By the way the gel shoe insoles work wonders for diabetic ulcers!

Just to point out what happens with silly rules - security in Zurich is confiscating bottle caps from pill (and other) bottles in carry on luggage of travelers to the USA. The rationale, it will keep liquids from being mixed and is a logical extension of the TSA rule!

I am sure they work wonders for a lot of reasons. If you use them for diabetic ulcers, get a doctor's note for them. They also work wonders for folks with high arches.

 

[salmoneous]

Which is precisely why I’d like to propose a NEW system. I say take down those lists, TSA. Let’s keep it fresh and new, and turn air travel into a game of sheer luck with totally random bans and confiscations.

Interesting, but I'm going to have to pass (I'll also pass on the government treating us like children. Yeah, I know you were being amusing, but I'll still pass.)

How about this for a system: We ban those things that are dangerous and can be used to take over/take down a plane. We allow those things that aren't. Anyone got a problem with that?

The ban on liquid is so confusing because liquids can't actually be used to bring down a plane. If they were this dangerous, we wouldn't have all these exception. Junior would have to do without his sippy cup and nobody gets to wear gel filled bras or insoles. The rules would be aggravating, but easy to understand. No gels or liquids.

But since liquids and gels aren't so dangerous, the TSA has decided to only annoy some people, but to grant exceptions for people who would be greatly inconvenienced. It's this inconsistency that causes confusion.

If allowing liquids on a plane is risky, ban them all. If not, allow them. But get rid of this horrid system of letting some people in some circumstance to bring some on the plane.

 

[bavaria]

Whenever you make a set of rules for people, you will invariably also create gaps, loopholes, and room for personal interpretation, and will seem to penalize some folks, while perhaps being permissive to others.

I can see it now…people stuffing their shirts and bras with their footpads just to get them in the gate. Tsk tsk.

The gopher did make me laugh out loud at that one....

Day 2: Gel is back “on”, but now, it’s Anti-Gum Day.

At the risk of being called rude, I wish that every day was anti-gum day, but that's just me and Disney

“No Small Furry Animals or Things That Resemble Them” day.

hope that it's a day that the gopher family isn't planning to fly, or we may have trouble

Well, these are just some thoughts from the Gopher…but what do I know, I’m not even in the book.

you're in my book...

it’s “No Things That Are Made of Polyvinylchloride” Day at our home, so you’ll have to leave those rainboots just outside the burrow.

spoken like a true chemist

Thanks for the much needed humour and underlying wisdom, Gopherit!!

 

[CPT Tripss]

I am sure they work wonders for a lot of reasons. If you use them for diabetic ulcers, get a doctor's note for them. They also work wonders for folks with high arches.

Do you know how easy it is to get a note? Most screeners I talk to do, and they don't really put much value in a note. But the purpose of the insert is for prevention, not treatment.

 

[CPT Tripss]

awww Gopherit, isn't random and unpredictable behavior in the moat exactly what we have now?

 

[disneyldwjr]

Do you know how easy it is to get a note? Most screeners I talk to do, and they don't really put much value in a note. But the purpose of the insert is for prevention, not treatment.

No, actually I have no idea how easy it is. If it is for prevention, will a few hours without them cause harm? (honest question). Will a doctor write a script for this preventative measure?

 

[disneyldwjr]

At the risk of being called rude, I wish that every day was anti-gum day, but that's just me and Disney

Me too, and Sea World, and most airports. The chewing does not make your ears better, it is the swollowing action that does the trick.

 

[MiaSRN62]

The chewing does not make your ears better, it is the swollowing action that does the trick.

Personally, gum has always helped me....can't do without it. Besides, it calms my kids' nerves.....makes for a better flying experience with us. Maybe it's all in our heads, but it seems to work for us

 

[disneyldwjr]

Personally, gum has always helped me....can't do without it. Besides, it calms my kids' nerves.....makes for a better flying experience with us. Maybe it's all in our heads, but it seems to work for us

If it works for you great!!!! I would never even suggest it is all in your heads. I feel reasonably sure you don't snap it, pop it, throw it on the ground, or stick it in magazines. That is what my major objection to gum is.

 

[MiaSRN62]

I would never even suggest it is all in your heads

Thank you

 

[CPT Tripss]

No, actually I have no idea how easy it is. If it is for prevention, will a few hours without them cause harm? (honest question). Will a doctor write a script for this preventative measure?

Wow, ask any middle school or high school PE teacher about "doctor's notes."

I don't honestly know how going without the gel would affect me. I have had only one experience so far and I don't plan to reepeat that experiment on myself.

I have seen, just recently, on the TSA site, that diabetics do not have to remove their shoes, but the line staff doesn't seem to care what the website says.

 

[disneyldwjr]

Wow, ask any middle school or high school PE teacher about "doctor's notes."

I don't honestly know how going without the gel would affect me. I have had only one experience so far and I don't plan to reepeat that experiment on myself.

I have seen, just recently, on the TSA site, that diabetics do not have to remove their shoes, but the line staff doesn't seem to care what the website says.

Did not say Dr. Notes in that post. I did say script.

If I were in your position, I would just print that info out and if challenged, show it to them. Not sure if it would make a difference, but, at least you are armed with facts.