Can someone truly be this innocent/clueless??

[LaughingSphinx]

It is kinda sad how very intelligent people can be so dumb. My BIL (valedictorian of his HS class) signed up for a credit card he didn't need, just cuz he was hungry and they were running a promo where you apply for the card and get a free sandwich. NOT worth the hassle with your credit score!

My DH (also valedictorian of his HS class, I feel like a dummy next to him and his brother unless I remember times like these) never cooked, so I've had to teach him how to make anything that's not tossed into boiling water or heated up on the stove or in the oven.

While DH and I are very good about keeping our finances in order and live within our means to avoid debt and build up our savings, I do often wish my parents had taught me more, and that I had been more willing to learn. Things like home repair, organizing meal plans for a family for a month, how to decorate a home-all stuff I wish I knew how to do, and I wish I'd thought to ask my folks!

 

[Green Tea]

I think people act stupid to get attention sometimes.

I think this is exactly what she is doing. It "works" for her. He dad still pays her phone bills because "little ole me is just to frail and dumb to take care of things myself." It's her "shtick.

 

[allison443]

There was an AP article back in the fall that made a lot of news, I know the talk raido stations around here talked about it for a few days... "Are we raising a generation of nincompoops?"

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/huff-wires/20100927/us-fea-parenting-nincompoops/#

I remember that article....there was a thread here on the dis about it. They featured an author who wrote a book with this thesis...she claimed her teenage kids couldn't figure out how to use things like a can opener and a clothes hanger (really, a clothes hanger). I guess she should have spent 10 seconds showing her kids how to use a clothes hanger instead of writing a book about it...

As for the OP, I believe some people are just less intelligent/aware/inquisitive than others. Like others have said, we learn from the world around us but not everyone does that. A lot of the things you mentioned could easily be found out by asking someone, googling, etc. but some people just don't have any curiousity about things, kwim?

 

[palavra]

Sorry, I've got to jump in on this one. Quit blaming the parents for so many things! She may have a learning disability for all you know.

My DD recently was in a car accident and has suffer a severe brain injury. She's now very innocent and "clueless" as some have said. That does not make us bad parents or her unattentive or inquisitive. SHAME ON YOU FOR JUDGING!!!!!!!!

She isn't judging. She is making a statement of fact. Some people really do have bad parents who don't prepare their kids for living in the world as an adult.

 

[Swimalie]

Yes, people really are. I haven't read all the responses but I can tell you my mother in law is clueless. Until she married her husband she lived at home where her parents did everything for her. Then she got married and her husband did everything for her (and this was not a marry rich case!). When he died, she didn't know how to do anything. She is 68 and has never even pumped her own gas (and does not live in a state where there is full service). She used to call us 2700 miles away to ask us things like if she had a septic system or city water. Well, you live in the county and have you ever gotten a city water bill?! Think about it! Someone else changes her lightbulbs. She's never hung a picture in her life, etc. Her daughter, who lives in the same area, does everything for her now. Everyone has enabled her and it's horrible as a somewhat outsider to watch. One day she will be on her own with no one around and will not be able to survive and it's sad to watch. No one should be like this.

 

[Mom2Ashli]

My first thought when I read this was that she probably comes from a well off family that has never had to cut a coupon or shop a sale. The Mother probably bought pre-made cookies so she didn't have to bother with making them from scratch. The part about the Dad taking care of her checkbook and paying all her bills, says that maybe they were helping fund her lifestyle.

I use coupons and I shop all the sales. My DD11 knows how to find a good deal but only because she has seen me pay less for something by shopping around to find the best deal.

We are all a product of what we grew up with.

 

[tlbwriter]

Not every "clueless" person has been coddled by indulgent parents. My husband was definitely not coddled, but once he moved out on his own (we started dating in high school), I found there were a lot of things he simply didn't understand because he'd never been exposed to them. For example, he didn't understand how health insurance worked, and thought his $500 deductible was like the deductible on his car insurance, and so he never filed a claim because they were all under $500. And I'm sure I was equally clueless about other things... I just can't think of any right now.

Oh, and when I was in college, I was buying my books and was in line behind someone who had never written a check (or apparently seen anyone write a check) and had no idea how to do it.

 

[crisi]

It never has occurred to me to teach my kids about coupons. We don't use them. We don't tend to buy major manufacturer products that tend to have coupons. I can go through coupon books, the Sunday paper, or the coupon websites and maybe find $3 to save - my time is worth more than that. And I don't make an effort to use them. That doesn't mean we aren't frugal and that my kids are not being raised to be good consumers - just that coupons aren't a tool we use. We also don't use points programs.

Now, it sounds like this particular woman has been sheltered far beyond "I'm not sure how to coupon" and into the "Daddy will take care of me" arena. But I'm not sure that I'm shocked someone doesn't know how to coupon. Frankly, I'm far more shocked by all the people on this board that never learned how to cook. Every time someone acts like you need a recipe for soup, I get very confused and need to remind themselves that not everyone was raised by a mom who threw things in a pot and had soup come out the other end.

 

[rbork]

yes, some people can truely be clueless or lack experience.
My father handled all the finances until he died suddenly. My mother was left to figure alot out and quickly.
I've done summer boot camps with my 2 sons. First year was a reading/math boot camp. Second year was a lifeskills boot camp. They learned how to do laundry, change bed sheets, cook, clean etc...And the third we did a financial boot camp. We talked about mortgages, credit cards, savings, coupons etc... Sounds pretty drab but they liked it and look forward to spending the time with me. Hopefully they won't be clueless the older they get.

 

[savvywifey]

sad

 

[HM]

My DD is 12 yo, in the 6th grade. She chose Life Skills for her elective class. For the first two semesters, they learned about personal care- how to take care of yourself, First Aide, CPR, etc.
This semester they are focusing on money skills- learning to write a check, how to balance an account, credit cards and interest.
Next they are going to research jobs and civil rights.

It has been a great class. I even think it should be required, not an optional class.

This is a required class in our school system. They take it in 7th grade and then a similar type of class in 9th grade.

One thing they do for a project in the 7th grade is assign each kid a "job" and a "pay rate" and tell them that they have to figure out a way to live on that pay and show how they would do it. They have to research apartments, cable, water, electricity, insurance, car payments, food costs, etc and live in their means. Sometimes they find they have to have a roommate and pair up with another student. The 'jobs' range from McDonald's worker to a entry level job in a corporation like you might get out of college. Then the kids report on it and see what their live might be like depending on their job and their schooling.

 

[princesspiglet]

This is my DD's best friend, "L". She is a very sweet girl, but dumb as a box of rocks. She is only 10, but she can't comprehend the littlest things.

Last weekend I took the girls bowling, this was "L's" first time and I had to explain everything to her. Like what the holes in the balls were for, what to do with the ball, how to roll it, etc. Im telling you, it was freaking exhausting! Every time she picked up the ball she would carry it like a baby and every time I had to tell her to put her fingers in the holes. For 10 frames!! She doesn't have a learning disorder, she is just naturally dumb.

Her parents are also very sweet and lovely, but totally clueless too.

 

[riley2008]

This thread reminds of the old NewlyWed game contestants! I still wonder where they got those people. I guess they procreated!

 

[sydneysmom]

Sorry, I've got to jump in on this one. Quit blaming the parents for so many things! She may have a learning disability for all you know.

My DD recently was in a car accident and has suffer a severe brain injury. She's now very innocent and "clueless" as some have said. That does not make us bad parents or her unattentive or inquisitive. SHAME ON YOU FOR JUDGING!!!!!!!!

this was my first reaction too.

Why be so judgemental ? Maybe her parents didn't use coupons, maybe they were lucky enough not to have a mortgage. People aren't born knowing everything. If you're going to be judgemental of her, perhaps you should just tell her to ask someone else. It just seems kind of mean to slam someone for not knowing everything.

 

[julirina]

Imagine the next generation who has iPods earphones in 24/7. Never picking up the slightest bit of education from everyday conversations around them. In the car with parents. In line at the store. Chatter from the local radio DJ.

I just had this conversation yesterday with my mom, who surprised me by complimented me on acquiring skills that she never had. Since we moved out to a small farm, we've started learning how to do very low-tech things like growing and preserving food, raising chickens, heating with wood, etc. We also homeschool our kids, so they're learning alongside us. I was a city kid all my life -- I grew up on McDonalds and saturday morning cartoons. These are not skills my parents passed down. We've learned by reading, asking questions (and making friends with old-timers!!) and yes, the occasional YouTube video tutorial.

I am not a gloom-and-doom or paranoid person by nature, but I have little doubt that these skills will be crucial, if not lifesaving, at some point in my (or my children's) lifetime. Our spending, our technology, and our use of resources are outpacing us and there will come a point when those things are no longer available for one reason or another. I'll be glad that my kids were helping to gather eggs, bake from scratch, and split wood when their peers were texting each other about the latest antics on Jersey Shore.

I'm not implying that everyone should move out to the country and go off the grid. I'm just saying that it behooves us all to have some basic survival skills, on the off chance that someday you'll be in a situation where you can't Google them from your smartphone.

 

[mrsklamc]

this was my first reaction too.

Why be so judgemental ? Maybe her parents didn't use coupons, maybe they were lucky enough not to have a mortgage. People aren't born knowing everything. If you're going to be judgemental of her, perhaps you should just tell her to ask someone else. It just seems kind of mean to slam someone for not knowing everything.

Even if they didn't HAVE a mortgage, her parents failed their daughter by not teaching her the concept. (I'm assuming she doesn't have a learning disability, or OP would not have posted in the first place.) It IS a parent's responsibility to teach their child the basic concepts of how to function in society- not necessarily couponing, but how to balance a checkbook? Absolutely. If the parents don't KNOW the information that may not be their fault, but it does not release them from the obligation to teach their child.
Since in this case it seems daddy is/was taking care of the girl, it sounds like dad meant well but actually ended up stifling his daughter's personal growth.

 

[emma'smom]

I'll be the first to admit that there were some things I just didn't know when I got married-- like how to buy beef.

I really hadn't cooked a lot of different recipes beyond those that required ground beef---fresh out of college with a dining hall, I hadn't cooked much beef beyond tacos and hamburgers on m own. Our family wasn't a huge beef eating family....but my DH wanted a specific recipe and I remember looking at all of the different cuts of beef and having no idea which cut was appropriate for various uses.

I called my mom who laughed...but then gave me a tutorial!

 

[Aryn]

When my sister left college, she called me from her first apartment because she could not figure out the dishwasher!

She didn't know what the holes were for or why one had a cover. I laughed at her for 5 minutes before I told her how to do it!

She is super smart, but had no idea how to do things like the dishwasher or washing machine.

 

[sydneysmom]

Even if they didn't HAVE a mortgage, her parents failed their daughter by not teaching her the concept. (I'm assuming she doesn't have a learning disability, or OP would not have posted in the first place.) It IS a parent's responsibility to teach their child the basic concepts of how to function in society- not necessarily couponing, but how to balance a checkbook? Absolutely. If the parents don't KNOW the information that may not be their fault, but it does not release them from the obligation to teach their child.
Since in this case it seems daddy is/was taking care of the girl, it sounds like dad meant well but actually ended up stifling his daughter's personal growth.

well, I do hope you don't forget to teach your children anything at the risk of them being mocked. The whole thing is just WAY too judgemental to me. People should show a little more kindness towards others. It's how we learn and grow as human beings.

 

[lakelandgal70]

My DD is 12 yo, in the 6th grade. She chose Life Skills for her elective class. For the first two semesters, they learned about personal care- how to take care of yourself, First Aide, CPR, etc.
This semester they are focusing on money skills- learning to write a check, how to balance an account, credit cards and interest.
Next they are going to research jobs and civil rights.

It has been a great class. I even think it should be required, not an optional class.

Wow I wish we had something like that when I was in school. My parents lived on their credit cards and went out to eat everynight. There were no discussions on saving or the fact you had to pay the card off. It isn't free money. Imagine my surprise when I hit the real world.