Can School Force Daughter to be in Marching Band???(Longgg, sorry)

[meandtheguys2]

FTR, I really wasn't trying to be a smarty about that. I just really think that is an option. Our band director who live down the street would shoot me for saying that...because we have areally good one. I just know that a very few of the students are in these programs as a way to learn, and HAVE to give up time for all of this extra-curricular stuff that may be way off from what they want or need.

And I do think that if that is the rule that it should be followed or get out. Thus my suggestion for other options.

(Ijust don't want a choir director mad at me...that was my favorite class! And we had to do performances that were a PITB on occasion too!)

 

[dancergirl]

I am going to be a senior this year and I'm in the band program. It is mandatory to do both march and play in concert season here. I would, too be considered a band nerd. I am proud of it! I agree with those that said it shouldnt be a problem. Football players and basketball players are all required to take a certain PE class and to participate in all practices, the same goes for band students. If your daughter was allowed to just participate in concert season, it would be very difficult for her with the other students.
Marching band is great! Just last week we had band camp, it was at our high school, from 8:30am to 9:00pm. We have practices tuesday and thursday from 6-9 and wed. from 3:30-5. We go to every regular season game and post season game. We go to 15 games some years. We also participate in the community parades. All of the guard members are required to be in regular band class.
When concert season begins for your daughter, I am sure they will have after-school practices also. We have almost the same schedule. The symphonic band (top band) is required to participate in District Honor Band/All-State auditions, Festivel, and any other type of concert. We also have a concert band that does almost all the same stuff, they just play easier music. Both come together to form Marching Band.
Our band is very demanding, but if it were any other way, we wouldnt be near as good as we are. We all are one big family, and love eachother! We call our director "Daddy Mayhall", we see him more than our actual parents almost!
I personally hope your DD chooses to be in band, but I would not advise her to do it if she is not totally commited. Please let us know how it all turns out!

 

[MICKEY88]

Originally posted by mars315
Here's the thing: MArching Band practices from 6-8 PM on Tuesday and Thursday, and then the kids have to be in the band room by 6:00 every Friday night for the football game, which starts at 7:30 and ends at probably 9:30.So three nights a week I am forced to drive my daughter to school and back. [/B]

in our HS concert band and marching band go together, if you wish to do one you must do both.

My oldest daughter[23]{first marriage} was in band, she also took dance[tap,jazz,ballet], so 6 days a week she needed a ride either to school for band or to dance class which had expanded to 4 nights a week by her Senior year of HS, not once did I feel FORCED to drive her, I could either ask her to choose which activity she wished to drop, which was never even considered, or we could drive her and enjoy watching her performances and the wonderfully balanced young Lady these activities were helping to develop,

this year{second marriage} we have a daughter[17] in volleyball and a son[15] in football we will be driving them 6 days a week to their respective practices and games, sometimes going our seperate ways since they have games the same night, and one of us will cover football and one volleyball.

minor inconvenience at best, when we see the fun they have competing with their friends and the social skills they develop,,

at least twice a month we will have the pleasure of sitting thru daylong volleyball tournaments, HS bleachers get quite uncomfortable, but when our daughter makes a good play on the court and flashes that big smile, we are quickly reminded on what being a parent is all about, and what a joy it truly is....

as a previous poster mentioned, it takes some sacrifice and dedication to be part of a quality competitive band or team,a good lesson for your daughter to learn

if you chose the school because of a quality band program then I think you should make the best of it and have her fully participate

 

[jipsy]

When I was in school, band was band. If you were in the band, you marched and you did concert.

DD NEEDS this exercise, as she plays no other sports.

I wouldn't worry about her needing the swimming for exercise, as she will now be marching 3 nights a week.

Marching Band was great fun! We got to go to every ball game, etc. It's one of the fondest memories I have of HS and I wouldn't have missed it for the world. Maybe it will be that way for your daughter too.

What does your DAUGHTER want to do?

 

[year2late]

Although a regrettable situation, your daughter will be faced with many difficult choices in the future, that involve giving up something she does not wish to give up. This will be one of many.

I have to admit, I am not a big fan of kids (or adults for that matter) who get special permission to do things or omit things that are clearly against the rules. It leads to "well Johnny doesn't have to, why should I?" There can be resentment from others over the situation.

 

[auntpolly]

I agree that it's going to have to be "band" or "no band", but I would just like to say that I think this is a classic example of how high schools make a big mistake. By not being flexible and giving kids lots of options of ways to experience school they just ending up turning kids off and alienating kids that might have ended up having a beneficial experience.

Sure, some kids like marching band -- my DH loved music but didn't do the band experience in HS for this very reason. He just was not the kind of kid to be on th marching band and wouldn't have done it for any reason. He never complained, probably never brought it up when he was in school. He just mentioned to me recently that he would have loved playing in one of the other bands. His family was poor -- he couldn't afford other music lessons -- so he just kind of "fell through the cracks". Why not give all kids the chance to try things and live up to their own potentials when they are in school? Why make silly rules that limit kids instead of explore all the possibilities....isn't this what school is for?

 

[The Mystery Machine]

If all these schools has this kind of rule about marching band then it must be for a good reason.
My first thought would be look to "funding" ie money for the music programs for High School.
This is probably how they keep out music "alive" in school.

I would imagine people fall through the cracks because of this that is a shame. But at the same token this is where parents hopefully step in and encourage the kid to try it out for a year.

Would I like the public school system to change...you bet. But until then you have to work with what you got.

 

[auntpolly]

Originally posted by The Mystery Machine


I would imagine people fall through the cracks because of this that is a shame. But at the same token this is where parents hopefully step in and encourage the kid to try it out for a year.

LOL you don't know my husband! And I know there are lots of kids like him! No one could have convinced him to put on one of those uniforms and march around. It just wasn't his nature. But oh well, he survived . It just would have been nice for him if the school would have recognized that here was a kid who could use a little music education. (He used his time instead making lots of mischief - to put it in a very diplomatic way )

 

[Rock'n Robin]

I agree that its a shame that schools really don't give kids the options they used to. At the HS level kids who are good at a sport are encouraged to specialize and play it year-round, instead of playing 2 or 3 different sports.
Even last year when DD#1 was in 6th grade, she was subtly discriminated against because she was in band and choir, each every other day. The choir director only passed out important information on days the band kids were gone. We drove to the wrong school for a recording of a CD and had to drive like a bat out of you-know-where to get to the right school on time because she never got a note home. She never got the opportunity to run tech on the musical because the notes were not passed out to band kids, and the kids had to pick them up themselves--but on days the band kids were there only the asst. choir director was there and they couldn't get the forms!
What did DD#1 do for this year? She quit band! She had to make a choice due to this behavior (although the school says you can do both) and she likes to sing better than she liked her one year of alto sax. I let her decide and she chose choir.
That said, the swimming mentioned by the OP is a private club, not school-sponsored, so that will have no affect at all on the band director's decision. She still has to make her choice.
Robin M.

 

[DMickey28]

When I was in High School, Band was band.... that meant concert band in the winter/spring and Marching Band in Fall.

I gather that your daughter doesn't want to do Marching Band?

Have you even talked to the teacher about it? In my school this was always worked out however it was worse for the student in the sense that they "never" belonged. Marching Band is a experience that I think everyone who plays instruments should do.

As far as exercise, while it may not be as much as swimming as much as your daughter does it is most defiently exercise. Most of the time spent in practices is spent on the field standing, walking, learning your next move and running back and forth to do it over and over and over again. It's challenging in the sense that you need to learn to walk, turn, stop and march while playing in time with the drum major.

I think you need to see what your daughter wants to do first and then contact the instructor before you get so upset.

Band is just like any other "sport" in High School and usually the band kids are a family of their own....

 

[KarenC]

Another comment from my perspective as a parent who had a kid who did band and swimming simultaneously. My daughter's best grades were during the fall semester--when she was crazy busy. She really used her down time wisely and learned organizational skills that will last her her whole life. Many of my band parent friends report the same.

Are there other students nearby who will also be in marching band? Maybe you can work out rides so you don't have to drive to school so often.

I found myself getting worked up about lots of the policies and rules when my oldest got to high school. I think in the end my being worked up had more to do with not being ready for my baby to be in high school than it did with whether the high school was being unfair or not.

 

[peachgirl]

I think this is a classic example of how high schools make a big mistake. By not being flexible and giving kids lots of options of ways to experience school they just ending up turning kids off and alienating kids that might have ended up having a beneficial experience.

Flexibilty costs money, something many schools don't have these days.

Some schools in this area no longer have band at all due to funding problems. These schools are doing all they can to meet the nclb mandates that were not fully funded and have had to make severe cuts in order to do it.

It's not the schools who are making the mistake, it's those who have the power to control the funding.

 

[auntpolly]

Originally posted by peachgirl
Flexibilty costs money, something many schools don't have these days.

Some schools in this area no longer have band at all due to funding problems. These schools are doing all they can to meet the nclb mandates that were not fully funded and have had to make severe cuts in order to do it.

It's not the schools who are making the mistake, it's those who have the power to control the funding.

Maybe so, but sometimes I got the feeling sometimes that they'd rather be "right" and have "control" than do something that might be a little offbeat but beneficial. Maybe I'm wrong....I just always got that feeling.

 

[Coach Rick]

Well for me marching was a way of life and at 47 has made a return to my wife as I am now a Drum Major for an alumni group. I marched in Drum and Bugle corps from the time I was 5 years old. When I got to High School, there was no question that band would be in my schedule. When I graduated I went on to college to be a music teacher. Obviously I am biased with all my activity in marching, but this goes beyond my affection of marching. If you join a group, then you need to abide by the guidelines of that group, or don't join it. I know band is a class, but band goes beyond an english class, or science class. There is no other class in which you work together to produce something so beautiful as music, and when one of those pieces of that band is missing, then the group is not complete. Now some schools may be able to make it optional due to the amount of available musicians, perhaps this isn't the case in this school. If you sign up to take a science class and that class requires you to disect a frog, but you find that objectionable, well then you can't get the grade for that, correct? The band director would be going down a dangerous route to exempt certain members from being part of the marching portion.

My daughter played both ice hockey, both in school and out of school, also played field hockey, and her band also pracitced weeknights, and was able to do it all. Sure it meant quite a bit of running around on our part, and with 2 other childeren involved in two sports each, and music too, I feel your pain. But life is about decisions, some tough some easy, so I think she needs to make a decision. Remember in years after high school she won't be talking about that "math class", but she will remember those band trips, and all that hard work that paid off in the satisfaction of entertaining many, many people.

 

[peachgirl]

Originally posted by auntpolly
Maybe so, but sometimes I got the feeling sometimes that they'd rather be "right" and have "control" than do something that might be a little offbeat but beneficial. Maybe I'm wrong....I just always got that feeling.

I can't speak for everywhere, but you're wrong as far as schools that I've ever dealt with. They do the best they can with what little they have. Everyone wants all the bells and whistles, but no one wants to pay for them.

If the funding were there and they simply refused to offer the courses and flexibility, then you'd have a point. As it is, it's hard to question their motives on an issue that doesn't exist.

 

[Lynn CC]

My son has been playing the trumpet in Concert Band since 5th grade. He's a Senior in HS this year. In order to play in concert band he's got to participate in a certain number of Marching Band performances as well, such as Memorial Day Parade, Octoberfest Parade etc. It's all a part of being in the Band and they are graded on those performances.

 

[auntpolly]

Originally posted by peachgirl
I can't speak for everywhere, but you're wrong as far as schools that I've ever dealt with. They do the best they can with what little they have. Everyone wants all the bells and whistles, but no one wants to pay for them.

I paid for them - I sent my DD to a private school that I felt was more of the philosophy that we were shooting for (and I vote "yes" for every school levy).

I'm really not arguing with you -- I know it's not easy for the schools. I just wanted something different for DD and wish it was an option for all kids.

 

[peachgirl]

I'm not arguing either, simply pointing out that with public schools, money is usually the deciding factor, not a desire to control.

Private school is an entirely different matter and they enjoy significant advantages over public schools. I agree, it would be nice if every child were afforded the same quality of education, but I don't see it ever happening.

 

[AZKathy]

I have not read all the responses, so forgive me for repeating another poster.

At our high school, there is a drop/add program the first few weeks during the school sesseion. Just drop her out if she does not want to do marching band.

My son has done band in middle school and he reluctantly signed up for high school band (he is more into compters...drives me nuts! <a href='http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb008' target='_blank'><img src='http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/10/10_1_11.gif' border=0></a>). Anyhoo, we paid a lot for him to do Band Camp this summer which was a week of 12 hour days. He complained and complained about getting up so early, etc. By the end of the week, he was pooped, but enthusiastic about the experience and the friends he has made during this time. He now is excited to do Marching Band and found something he is interested in other that playing computer games!

I hope everything works out for you in whatever decision you come up with. Good luck!

 

[Pembo]

If you were in concert band, you were in marching band. That was just how it was. Yes the football players were exempt but there were only 1 or 2. Cheerleaders marched in their cheerleader gear.

In our school marching band was the fall portion of band, our first concert wasn't until after Xmas. That's the way it is with most (all?) schools in our area. I thought it was that way everywhere.


btw - She'll get LOTS of exercise marching!