Can I play too?!

[perla75]

I fail to see why this is considered off-topic. No, most of us on here are not getting married any time soon, but this was started as a place where all lurkers could fess up. None of us meant any harm and even a few nice, real brides were very welcoming and kind at the beginning. It did probably get side tracked along the way, even if that wasn't our intention. I can only speak for myself when I say that I love reading all the PJs and TRs, but quite honestly I don't feel comfortable posting a comment simply because I am not engaged/married.

I don't think we are at all a "clique" I highly doubt anyone in here would shun anyone else who is actually getting married. We welcome everyone in this thread, married, engaged, whatever you may be. In fact, I'm pretty sure one bride came in here looking for some help and some of us helped her out as best as we could. I'm sure we would be ready and willing to do the same. Just because we may not be planning, doesn't mean we don't know a thing or two about weddings.

We were all just trying to be part of this board in our own way. This very thread is how some of got the courage to finally come out of lurkdom and post. There is no need to be so rude, unwelcoming, and dare I say, clique-y

I don't think anyone participating on this thread meant any harm towards others, but the mods in the past have been very strict about OT threads, even OT posts sometimes! Seems trivial, but it's a rule that the mods created on here & I understand why other girls are getting a little upset.

There was a very similar thread on here a while ago-all Disney brides but according to the mods, a single thread like this is considered cliquey & is against the Disboard rules. Although the thread was perfectly harmless (and a great idea!), the mods closed it down to be consistent with their rules.

Closing down one thread like this & keeping another one open would not be fair or consistent. I'm actually surprised that the mods let it go on for this long...

You can look at this sticky for more info on OT rules:
http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=1538129

I think you guys should feel more than welcome to respond to other wedding related threads on here, ask questions about your future plans, & comment about ours, but if you want a place to get together, you may consider starting a thread like this on the Community Boards-you are welcome to be as OT or whatever as you want over there & having a single thread would be a very safe haven. Just a suggestion.

 

[DisneyBrideToni]

I don't think anyone meant any harm and honestly I don't see the harm in chatting about off topic stuff but obviously that is the rule of the board and that is fine because we all need rules. The only thing that upset me is that a lot of my friends got kicked off or warned about being "off topic" so I guess it kind of rubbed me the wrong way.

Also, I just want to add that there is nothing wrong with asking questions on here even if you are not engaged yet but have questions about weddings.I am more than happy to help anyone and I am sure the other brides here agree with me. I am not mad that you guys want to chat, and we all dream about our future weddings which I totally get, I am just mad that the moderators are being inconsistent. With that said I don't mean to cause any drama, that is not what I intended to do I just feel bad for my friends that got kicked off.

 

[thatdisneygirl]

Ladies- there is a not engaged yet thread on the knot and that is probably more appropriate........

yeah, but those ladies on the knot can get mean. i'd feel bad sending any disney bride (or unbride) over there...

 

[dawrobin]

What I saw there- the girs were actually nice, but very wedding obsessed. It was P&E and others that were HORRIBLE!!! I could NEVER direct anyone there, even my worst enemy!

 

[alissa2008]

I don't really agree that this thread is entirely OT (although I haven't really sat down and read it from page 1 on - I followed for the first page, but then realized it didn't really apply to me as I was much farther along in the planning stages by the time I finally discovered the DIS)...

However, I DO agree that this thread is unfair to those of us that have been scolded, warned, and even banned for a similar offense.

A side note - I thought the gals on the knot were nice enough at first, until I discovered a whole thread bashing disbrides (some of the older gals might remember when knot members came over here disguised as disbrides and made their own "characters" to play - most were pink-obsessed-exaggerated-princessy types mock obsessed with disney. It was insulting and terribly rude - not to mention the undercovers would go back to the knot and report to the rest of the knotties about how funny it was and how pathetic we are . It made me feel terrible and look at them in a completely different light. Be sure if you go over there, not to mention your DFTW... It's a pretty generic statement, i'm sure it's not applicable to ALL of them, but the ones I've seen so far were very judgmental - I figure, if I don't judge their catholic church/country club weddings they should leave us alone.

 

[hope1826]

If posts about a baby whose parents were married at Disney and conceived at Disney are off topic, then a thread about not ACTUALLY planning a wedding are off topic too. I left the dis after my friend (a recent disbride) was kicked off for wanting to talk about her Disney baby and because it was clearly established that I wasn't welcome to post about my own Disney wedding/disneymoon pregnancy and baby even in my own DFTW PJ/TR.

To come back and see that people are allowed to just remain off-topic and the only connection they really have to a Disney wedding at this point is fantasy is disappointing and upsetting.

Like others have said, you hopefully future disbrides are not upsetting. The actions/inactions of the moderators is what is disappointing. And I will probably be banned for 10 days for saying that as I was three months ago.

 

[MainStMandy]

Wow...I am shocked by some of the threads here. One of the reasons I like this board is because people are SO nice and welcoming here. But I guess since we don't have "real" topics to talk about we can't stay. And what I think is worse is people running around "tatteling". It's not as if the mods don't see us...if they felt it was OT I think we would have been told. Many of us are expecting to start planning within the next year (however presumptious)...and this is a great place for us to compare notes and compare ideas, without actually haven done anything yet.

 

[MainStMandy]

Ok, back on topic, lol
How about posting a pic of you and your man! lol
Here's me and my man (ok, boy, but only for 1 more year XD) at prom

Good Idea!!

Dbf and I haven't had many pics taken together unfortunately...I have one that kinda stinks...This was taken on 4th of July. I had a migraine and Dbf hadn't slept in like 25 hours or something

This was taken of dbf yesterday much nicer. I think a girlfriend of mine who is a photographer is going to take some nice pics of us soon.

 

[hope1826]

Wow...I am shocked by some of the threads here. One of the reasons I like this board is because people are SO nice and welcoming here. But I guess since we don't have "real" topics to talk about we can't stay. And what I think is worse is people running around "tatteling". It's not as if the mods don't see us...if they felt it was OT I think we would have been told. Many of us are expecting to start planning within the next year (however presumptious)...and this is a great place for us to compare notes and compare ideas, without actually haven done anything yet.

I actually agree. Actual recent Disney brides were not welcome here because talking about the direct product of our Disney Weddings was considered not a "real" topic. So a few of us are just wondering why others are allowed to talk about whatever they want, when we couldn't talk about something that was directly related to our Disney Weddings/Disneymoons. And technically no one has "tattled" yet. If someone actually had, I know I would have already been banned for "attacking" a mod by saying that I was disappointed and implying that there is a double standard. Expressing frustration over a lack of consistency is not "tattling".

Also you're missing the point that is being made. As others have said, you are very welcome to post questions and answers throughout the Wedding/Honeymoon Planning board, before you get engaged and actually start planning. But the existence of this thread breaks the rules that the mods claims they strictly enforce.

 

[alissa2008]

I agree with Nikki - I really don't want to come off as old brides vs. new/potential brides -- SO not our intention!! We think it's great that you gals are so excited about planning your DFTWs and we really (like everyone said) encourage you to post on our pjs and trs and post questions and answers -- it's totally great! I think the more the merrier!! I was so glad to find the disbrides after starting my planning - it was great to find out there were people as excited about DFTW as I am! (even moreso maybe!) ... So, please PLEASE dont' get the wrong impression that we all want to ban ya'll from the conversation. That was not the point - it's just the double standards that all of us have been seeing lately that is starting to cheese us off. It's just plain not fair.

Please don't hate us. We just want to get to the bottom of this hypocracy. And, since this thread is going to get locked anyway at this rate - and I'll probably get warned again as I have been in the past -- but, there is a site (disneybrides.com) that lets you talk "off topic" and the girls are very friendly there. I think you gals should check it out!

 

[DisneyBrideToni]

No need for any attitude. We are not attacking any of you personally. Its just that when they had the off topic thread they claimed that people were in cliques and I am sure that was not the intention of those that were posting there. Its just that a group of people get together, have things in common and become friends just like I am sure you girls are. You are all very welcome to post on the wedding board. it doesn't matter if you are not engaged. You obviously all want Disney weddings and you have the right, whether you are engaged or not to ask questions. Weddings are big events and take a lot of planning so starting off ahead of time is a good thing. Its also something that girls dream about when they are young and it is an exciting time. We just want clear rules to be established for ALL members of the boards and not just some. That is all we are saying.

 

[MainStMandy]

No need for any attitude. We are not attacking any of you personally. Its just that when they had the off topic thread they claimed that people were in cliques and I am sure that was not the intention of those that were posting there. Its just that a group of people get together, have things in common and become friends just like I am sure you girls are. You are all very welcome to post on the wedding board. it doesn't matter if you are not engaged. You obviously all want Disney weddings and you have the right, whether you are engaged or not to ask questions. Weddings are big events and take a lot of planning so starting off ahead of time is a good thing. Its also something that girls dream about when they are young and it is an exciting time. We just want clear rules to be established for ALL members of the boards and not just some. That is all we are saying.

I understand where you are coming from, really I do, but sorry it feels as if you guys are attacking us...especially when people say things like this is my "REAL" dftw. We didn't start this thread to intentially make people mad. I feel like if you guys had a problem then maybe you should go and ask a mod instead of being snarky on our thread (not you necessarily, but that seems to be the general tone).

 

[DisneyBrideToni]

I understand where you are coming from, really I do, but sorry it feels as if you guys are attacking us...especially when people say things like this is my "REAL" dftw. We didn't start this thread to intentially make people mad. I feel like if you guys had a problem then maybe you should go and ask a mod instead of being snarky on our thread (not you necessarily, but that seems to be the general tone).

I am sorry if you feel it was a personal attack on you ladies. It wasn't meant to be that way but like you said, it is up to the mods but really if you ladies have any questions, please feel free to post questions and ask us. We are more than happy to help with what we know.

 

[Mama of Indybride]

I think the comments that have been made have been explanatory in nature and quite un-snarky, just my own .02....

 

[KathyTX]

Everyone, please take a deep breath.

About the "off-topic" comments: This forum is for the discussion of and planning of Disney weddings. This thread is discussing and dreaming about Disney weddings, and that is ABSOLUTELY on-topic and welcome here!

This is a place for past, future and potential Disney brides and others interested in Disney weddings to discuss, plan or reminisce about those events.

 

[MainStMandy]

Now that we are back "on topic" I have to tell you girls...my mom and I went shopping at JCPenny today to check out a Green Quartz ring my mom had her eye on. While we were there I was window shopping and tried on this...

OMG It was soooo beautiful!! I don't know how dbf will ever find out about it but I am in LOVE with it. He just told me yesterday that I will not have ANY idea about when he is going to propose and he won't even tell anyone he is shopping for a ring. He said it will probably be at the point where I think he's never going to ask me

 

[Caribbeanprincess]

Ok, back on topic, lol
How about posting a pic of you and your man! lol
Here's me and my man (ok, boy, but only for 1 more year XD) at prom

Quoting myself from a few pages back so we can get back on topic...

 

[Lynn5700]

I always think that it is best to try and not think about when your BF will propose...if you expect it you will never be surprised which kind of ruins it when it happens..I kind of had a feeling when we got engaged and I wish I would have been more surprised. I think it's best to let it just happen.

Girls try not to talk about it constantly to your BF...don't pressure them. Not saying you girls are but if you do it will drive them insane. Trust me LOL!!

ETA...just trying to help you all out...just go with the flow and enjoy the time with your BFs.

 

[dawrobin]

I agree with Lynn. You don't ever want to doubt intentions. Did they propose to get the ladies ot stop nagging, or because they really wanted to?

They will do it when they are ready. You girls are young so it will come when it is time with the right person.

 

[Caribbeanprincess]

Oh, I know Lynn. I've already dropped hints once in a while, but I'm staying away from it for now. I really don't want to pressure him, no matter how much I want this. I am hoping, but we'll have to see. My DBF always comes up with ways to surprise me, lol.