Can anyone help me with potty training?

[Gillian]

Kind of off topic, I know, but this is where the experts are

I want to start training DS, 21 months, or at least try! I need help with everything! I don't have any books (not even the what to expect for his age) and I'm clueless. My mom got us a potty, but he pulled the shield off & I think it's uncomfortable for him.

Any advice on where to start? We'll be home together all summer. Thanks in advance!

 

[Disneyolic]

I am hoping for some advice too. I'm dealing with an almost 3 yo DS who absolutely screams/cries when we try to place him on the potty. He is not regular because he really hates to "do his business". I think he holds it in until he just can't any longer. Please help!

 

[can'tgetenufofwdw]

My son's first visit to wdw was for his 3rd b-day and I had him trained in time. I would throw a cheerio into the toilet and let him aim for it. He thought it was cool to stand up when mommy couldn't. If he did go I would give him a small handfull of M&M's. They were his favorite treat. It took less than two weeks. Oh and if he went #2 he would get to pick out a new matchbox car from the basket. I went out and bought like 10 cars at .99. Small investment that paid off big. Of course he wasn't nitetime trained but that was fine with me. I packed 1 pamper for each nite with a few extra in the bag in case and we were good to go. Don't forget to listen to him when they say they have to go. It's so easy to think and say "yor're gonna have to hold it for a few more minutes" We did this with my ds and ended up having to pull over on the side of I4 on the way back from Tampa and he did his business on the side of the highway. Funny now( it was 5 years ago) but not at the time. We felt really bad about it. Good luck whatever you try.

 

[tjmw2727]

Personally, I think 21 months is to young especially for a boy. The averages are 2 1/2 for girls and 3 for boys. That said we liked the "Its Potty Time" tape and played it long before we started training. Having the potty in the bathroom and letting him try it from time to time is fine, before the bath worked well for us. I have found that you can train and train for several months or wait until they are ready and then it literally takes days to a week - I learned the hard way. Take it slow and remember at 21months there are sooo many more fun and interesting things for him to be doing and learning that training (IMHO) really should take a backseat now.
TJ

 

[Kermit]

I don't have any kids, but I used to work in daycare, and I've potty trained at least 50 kids. My best advice is <i>do not</i> use pull-ups. Kids think they're grown up, since they look like underwear, but they have no incentive to keep them dry since it's not uncomfortable when they're wet. Start with underwear and plastic pants. That way there will be a good reason to stay dry.

I also strongly recommend you wait until the child is ready. If you wait long enough, it will take about a week. If you do it too early, it can take months and lots of frustration.

Some boys like to start standing up like their daddy and older friends. Put some kind of target in the toilet, and stand by with lots of cleaner. Don't talk to them while they're pottying. They'll turn and look at you when you do.

 

[Jordan's MOM]

Unlike many mom's of boys, I found my Ds very easy to train. He was about 23 months old and quite smart and very verbal. He was also very big on Barney the dinosaur at the time. I went out and bought him a pack of big boy barney underwear and ask him if he wanted to put them on. He did of course. I then told him that Barney did not want him to pee-pee on him so he would need to go to the bathroom when he had to go. He said OK. I can count on one hand the number of accidents he had.All were in other character underwear. We went back and got more Barney. This was the exception, but some boys are ready early and summer is a great time to train. My sister let her boys go with out any clothes at home and they trained quite early too. Do make sure that he is able to understand and comunicate well enough to follow direction and if he seems stressed out, stop and wait a while. The trend is toward latter training and there is nothing wrong with that either. Good luck!!


Jordan's mom

 

[susy]

At 26 months my DS was trained (pp wise- the other took longer).
I was home all summer, like you and it's the perfect time to start!

1. Get him a baby pool. Put it out almost every day, but DO NOT put a swim diaper on. Just put some shorts with no diaper. When he pees he will see it coming out. You are out in the yard so who cares!

2. A special cup for pp in the tub! Stand him in the tub before you fill it (naked). When you start running the water, he will probably pee. When he does, "catch" the pee in the cup. My son thought this was so funny! So now every night he was peeing into this cup before his bath (getting good at aiming, too).

3. After a few months of peeing in the cup every night,we bought him a little potty. We kept it in whichever room he was in (we were constantly moving it from the living rrom to his bedroom and back again). We put on just shorts with no diaper and kept asking him if he had to pp. We started this on a Saturday so we were both home for the first two days of this. We would see him touch himself there and pull down his shorts and told him to pp in the potty. He listens more to my DH, so he was really in charge. He did great with this!!!! After a few days, I left the potty in his room and he would go over towards it if he had to go. I would help him with his shorts and always give him tons of praise. He still slept with a diaper at night.

4. We also taught him to sit on the potty to go pp and then bought him the seat that sits on the regular toilet. When he was tall enough to pee standing up he just stood in front of the toilet.

this whole process started in the beginning of the summer when he was like 19 months and ended in Jan., when he was 26 months. He rarely had any accidents (even in the beginning). Just take your time with him, but I wouldn't wait any longer. You have to get them while they are still in that "I'm a space cadet and I have no idea where I am or what I am doing" stage.

The other thing was LOTS harder!!!! He was three before he would go #2 in the potty. He was in underwear all the time, but would ask for a diaper. DH finally convinced him one day. I don't know what happened, since they were locked in the bathroom. All I know is they came out and headed to the toy store!

 

[Chance's Mom]

Just remember- you don't see 5 year olds in diapers. Your son will get potty trained! I personally think 21 months is too young--it will cause undo stress for you and your son. Wait till he's almost 3 and then it will be easy.

 

[Lainy67]

My dd (10) was trained at two. So I thought... whew... this will be a snap with our next one. Well she will be 3 on Monday, and although for the most part trained, she just peed all over my office carpet about an hour ago!!!! Although she hasn't had an accident in a long time. She doesn't quite care where she goes. It is an inconvenience to go somewhere else.

We did the pull ups at night wiht both children, and regular panties during the day. Our first dd couldn't stand the feeling of pp on her, and was trained in a week, max for both pp and BMs. The second one hates the feeling of the pp on her and the BMs as well, but figured out that it is temporary and she will get changed so it doesn't matter.

My point is every child is different. You just have to figure out what works for each one.

 

[Gillian]

Well, my MIL says her 5 kids were fully trained before they were 2! I've only got 3 months to go, so I'd better figure it out, LOL! Also, if I wait, it will be winter, and I may be working &/or pregnant again.

I really don't see the point in waiting if he seems ready. I just need to figure out how I can tell if he's ready! He seems interested in the idea, says "potty" a lot, but I'm as clueless as he is. I'd really like to give it a try, but I don't want to cause any problems for him later by doing it wrong.

Thank you for all the suggestions. I am going to start with a book or video & see how he reacts. I'll keep everyone updated

 

[ratow]

The trend years ago was to potty train very young. The trend was also to give baby cereal very young, starting at two or three weeks old! Tell your MIL we don't rub booze on babies gums when they're teething anymore either! My point is, ideas on raising children changes and evolves.

My MIL also worked to potty train her 4 kids early and she now laughs at the memories. She says the "training" consisted of putting the kids on the potty every hour and eventually they went, accidentally!

I have 5 kids and have gotten over "They MUST be trained by this age. Everyone else's kid is!" My third child was trained sometime after she was three but nights took until she was four.

No one will remember when she was potty trained! I hope to have better things about her to brag about than how old she was when she started to walk or use the toilet!

My two year old son loves the potty right now and we let him use it when ever he wants. I don't believe his interest necessarily means he's ready to be potty trained. I know if we tried undies it would only lead to more accidents and frustration (mine) than if we waited.

Unless you're severely punishing him for accidents, I doubt you will cause any "problems for him later by doing it wrong."

When they're old enough, potty training goes quickly and easily. Relax and enjoy your beautiful boy!

 

[Jordan's MOM]

Gillian,
One way to tell if he might be ready is to see how long he can stay dry with his diaper on. If he is waking up from naps dry or going several hours before wetting his diaper is may indicate that his bladder is mature enough to start training. It will not matter how "smart" he is or how much he wants to do it if he does not have the phyicial maturity to control his bladder. Relax! He will get trained and then you have to hunt a bathroom every 5 minutes! LOL

Jordan's mom

 

[blanq]

I was, at one point, convinced that my DS would go off college still in diapers! He had absolutely no interest in the potty thing, even though he had total control of when he went ( for a very long time before he was potty trained he would hide behind the door when he had to go, and do his thing). I tried to follow the Dr's advice and not push it on him, but I must admit it was a hard path to take. Anyway, one day, when my DS was several months shy of his 4th birthday, I walked in on him in the bathroom and he was on the potty. From that day forward he was totally potty trained...he never had an accident, day or night! I think the whole thing was bizarre, to tell you the truth. Anyway, I decided to post my experience to let you know that I think that, to some extent, parents have little control over this issue. When a child is ready, he or she will get there!

 

[crisi]

My son trained at 3 1/2. Nothing worked until HE was ready. Once he decided it was time, it was a done deal. However, around three he went to pull ups and became responsible for his own diaper. He'd change it when it got wet, and we'd help him if he was poopy (eventually, he'd do these himself, although we did need to wipe up the bathroom after him).

My daughter is 2 1/2 and is not showing much interest in staying dry or going in the potty. But what I learned from my son is that this is not something I can do for her, or something that I decide she is going to do - its up to her. Once she turns three and is physically ready for it, we will do the same thing we did with my son and make her responsible for her own diaper (that is one thing pull ups are good for).

Its always the last thing you try that works.

 

[vald1977]

Hi Gillian,
We are actually potty training our ds right now too. He is a little older than your ds but I agree with you that it certainly doesn't hurt to try it out a little. If he doesn't take to it, just wait another few weeks and try it again. We have a little potty that sits on the ground and also a seat that goes over the big potty. My ds prefers the big potty because he can hear the pp hitting the water. He also loves to flush it away when he is done. I am just bringing this up to let you know if he doesn't seem interested in the little potty maybe try the seat kind. We also give out stickers when he goes on the potty and lots and lots of praise. While he's going or sitting there waiting to go I ask him what kind of sticker he wants (we have all different animal ones) and he puts a great amount of thought into picking one. I'll have to try the little cars in a basket as a reward for poops. That is a great idea! We are having more trouble with that but I guess that is normal. Good luck !

 

[llp479]

Our twin dds were almost 4 before they were trained. I was dreading training their younger sister. She was 3yr2mo when we were at WDW. While walking through the MK she said, "I have to go potty." Not wanting to ignore her, but not quite believing her, I took her, and she went. Several hours later, same thing. I brought home almost all the diapers I took with us and she never wore them again, not even at night. She never had an accident and she's now 5.

My friend's son was 23 months when he told her he needed to go. She took him, and listened to him everytime he said he needed to go, and he was fully trained by 26 months. I guess my point is your child needs to be able to understand when he has to go, and be able to communicate that to you.

Potty Time with Bear in the Big Blue House is a good video as well. I also agree about the Pull Ups, basically all they are is an expensive diaper. Great for trips when you're not sure you'll be able to make it to a bathroom, but not good for training.

 

[BrerMom]

Just remember- you don't see 5 year olds in diapers.

Actually, I know one. His mom had to get special permission for him to start kindergarten.

I put my son on the big potty backwards. He feels more safe sitting on the smaller end of the seat. He used to hold onto the seat while he went, which sure isn't an option the usual way! We haven't attempted #2 on the potty yet, so we'll see, but I've learned to take whatever works!

 

[susy]

Even if you don't want to put out a potty, you can try the peeing in the cup thing every night in the tub. To tell you the truth, once we put out the potty at 25 months, it only took two weeks. Never used any books, tapes, or said "potty" or knew if he was interested. By the time he knew the word "potty", he was already using it!

 

[minivanmomof2]

WOW, don't even get me started, LOL.
As a mom of two boys, ages 4 1/2 and 8, I know how frustrating it can be to potty train. The best advice I can give you is DON'T stress over it/make a big deal,etc. HE will go when HE's ready. I happen to agree that boys (for the most part) are a bit slower to train. Both boys were close to 3 1/2 when they were fully trained.
Both boys knew what to do and where to do it, LOL, but the "problem" was not initiating it. I would literally every couple of hours take them into the bathroom and have them "try to go".

One day your son will surprise you.....you'll see! He's still little. Sometimes we, as parents, expect so much from our children that we forget that they are just that....children(not lil adults).
Good Luck!
Naomi

 

[minivanmomof2]

Originally posted by Kermit
I don't have any kids, but I used to work in daycare, and I've potty trained at least 50 kids. My best advice is <i>do not</i> use pull-ups. Kids think they're grown up, since they look like underwear, but they have no incentive to keep them dry since it's not uncomfortable when they're wet. Start with underwear and plastic pants. That way there will be a good reason to stay dry.

I also strongly recommend you wait until the child is ready. If you wait long enough, it will take about a week. If you do it too early, it can take months and lots of frustration.

Some boys like to start standing up like their daddy and older friends. Put some kind of target in the toilet, and stand by with lots of cleaner. Don't talk to them while they're pottying. They'll turn and look at you when you do.

Cheerios in the toilet works well. Been there and done that, LOL. They get a kick out of having a target!
Naomi