Can anyone give me one good reason...

[Rajah]

...why I should stay at work today?

It's a miserable day out, I'm in a miserable (alternating between angry and depressed) mood today, my mom's not helping and today I don't have the energy or strength to boost her up, I don't want to be here, I can't stop being depressed at work today.

Give me one good reason why I should stay here today.

What I feel like doing is going home and taking a "break day" where I do nothing but sleep, cross stitch, and watch cartoons.

 

[browneyes]

Is the sun out or is it raining there? If it's raining, that could be one reason to stay at work.

 

[JenBlaze]

If you're that stressed out and you won't lose your job for doing it, do it.

You don't wanna see the kind of effects that excessive stress can have on you.

 

[pnelson]

People stay at work when they don't want to because they are adults with responsibilities. If I went home everytime I was sad, stressed out, or didn't feel like being there, I'd probably lose my job. Character and maturity come when we are faced with situations we don't like and work through them.

 

[Rajah]

Shannon -- it's foggy. So murky, but not raining.

Jen -- I doubt I'd get in trouble for it right now, but it might jeopardize my ability to go to Colorado in May when and where we want to bury my dad's remains, Switzerland in June which is a trip emotionally I *need* right now, or to my friends' weddings later this year.

 

[danacara]

Try to think about it in terms of dollars made per hour. That should get you through the rest of the day.

 

[Toby'sFriend]

well you know -- there is that whole paycheck thing which is why most of us continue to go to work.

But seriously, sometimes it is just as damaging psychologically to run home and crawl under the covers everytime our mood turns south. You really do have to learn that it is okay to be feeling negative emotions such as stress and sadness, but it is not okay to let them put a stop to your life.

Why don't you try setting a mini-goal such as definately making it until at least 3pm? Then at 3pm you can reevaluate and hopefully realize that if you made it that far, the rest of the day will be a piece of cake.

 

[MICKEY88]

Originally posted by Rajah
Shannon -- it's foggy. So murky, but not raining.

Jen -- I doubt I'd get in trouble for it right now, but it might jeopardize my ability to go to Colorado in May when and where we want to bury my dad's remains, Switzerland in June which is a trip emotionally I *need* right now, or to my friends' weddings later this year.

I think you named your own reasons for staying at work....

I know I often felt the same way when I lost my Dad, but I was glad I forced myself to stay at work, because I then had more time available to take off when I was feeling good and wanted to have fun in the sun...

 

[Rajah]

I don't think this would be even half as hard if I hadn't worked so closely with him.

 

[pnelson]

Toby's Friend:

What you just said is very wise and something that someone said recently to me that has helped a lot with my outlook:

That it's okay to feel negative emotions.

That is so true; I think sometimes our instinct is to deny them or to run away from them and that just makes it worse in the long run. But you know-It's okay to be sad or angry or melancholy. It's usually best to acknowledge those feelings and work through them. Going home is not going to make those feelings go away.

 

[minniecarousel]

Just keep in mind that you'll need that time off later. Hopefully, that alone will keep you there today.
{{{{HUGS}}}}

 

[Rajah]

Y'all keep saying going home won't help.

I say it will.

I'm not even half this depressed on the weekend when I'm at home and able to lose myself into a book, cross stitch, TV, games, my kitties, even usually homework. Or when I'm out shopping or eating out, etc.

Last week, I went home an hour early mid-week because I just couldn't take it any more. Even just that one hour of being out and being able to "escape" for a bit made a *HUGE* difference in my outlook for the next 3 days.

I'm not wanting to go home and mope and dwell on my depression and what happened, etc. I want to go home and be able to do some of the things that I find theraputic that I can't do at work.

Which, honestly, is better?

To stay at work staring blankly at the computer screen or the DIS all day, wishing my cubemate would go home for the afternoon, praying no one calls or comes by to talk to me so I don't have to speak to anyone when it's taking all I have not to break into tears, fighting a very sour stomach and thus unable to eat lunch for the day...

Or taking half a day, going home and allowing myself to break down for a little, take a bit of a nap after that, then spend the rest of the afternoon doing those things I find to be theraputic?

 

[babar]

it sounds like you've already convinced yourself, so then just leave and go home, don't look for permission.

 

[danacara]

Weekends are better than weekdays. Yes, I agree.

Dude, if you're going to do it ... better to just do it ... start packing your stuff and head out. Sounds like this is a family business, so they're not going to fire you (the risk the rest of us take when we decamp at noontime).

I agree with TF that you'd be proud of your emotional stamina if you made it till 5, but if you just feel totally beyond use ... it's only fair to your employer to take the vaca time and go home.

 

[pnelson]

Yes, why are you looking for permission? I don't know if I agree that it helps in the long run. So, you only experience sadness and grief when at work? And that is always going to be your excuse to leave? I say, require more of yourself, and feel your feelings, and stay. You're just giving yourself permission to leave everytime you feel bad and in time, that is going to have really negative repurcussions on your life.

 

[kozmo]

You know Raj ,i know how you feel ,when my dad was killed in April,i thought i was going to die,i too was very close,we are a very close family,i lived with my dad!When that policeman and my sister showed up at my door,i had no idea why,i was completely blown away,and then no body,we couldnt even have a body for 10 days!!When we got him home we couldnt even see him ,it was and will be the worst thing i have ever been through!I had a hard time focusing and work was last on my list of mature adult things i had to do ,my docter gave me about 3 and a half mos off after august,(i was going to loose my job of 20 yrs because i didnt want to function or leave my mother ,i wanted to take care of her and be with her.My friend finally told me at christmas,"Leslie,you are not ever going to get over this ,you just have to get through it",so i have been better,back to work and have had happy days ,and try to stay busy ,with the ability to focus,so it does get better,sometime when you are shocked or in shocke its hard,but remember it is going to take a minute,give yourself time.

 

[luvindisneyworld]

Please do not flame me.I think you need to deal with this and stay at work.Death is a hard thing to deal with.But you cant let it run your life.Would your Dad have wanted you to be doing the way you are over this,I think he would want you to be Happy.You have to face it head on instaed of running away.I know you worked together and it is going to be hard to deal with but you have to.I have lost someone very close to me and there are still days i dont feel like getting out of bed but I have to,and it has been going on 3 years.She would not have wanted me to be that way.

You need to face it.That is the only way you will be able to start healing.

Misty

 

[Carl]

Tammi, where are you going in Switzerland? I'm going to Austria, Northern Italy and Baveria in June, too. I wanted to go to Switzerland, but the man running the tour said it would be too expensive to go there.

 

[Rajah]

Carl -- *IF* I get to go, DH's summer conference this year is in Lugano, Switzerland.

 

[Carl]

I hope you get to go. Lugano is beautiful. I've been there. It is on a lake.