Can a stirred pot create delicious conversation?

[WAMomof3]

Everyone is under pressure by society to be the perfect parent. But what is the perfect parent? It's not something you can Goggle.

Everyone has their days when they are just done - it happens, it's life.

But even on mine and husbands worse days, the five of use still love each other and the older two tell us constantly we're the best parents in the world, (youngest isn't old enough to talk) because to them, we are.

Unfortunately, people only "see" our worse moments in public. They never see our best moments as a family which are in private, as they should be.

 

[buzzmom3]

I'm sure people have thought I was an awful parent. My son has ADHD and has had major fits in public. I've learned how to handle him and his fits in the way that works best for him. I have friends with autistic children and learned a long time ago not to judge by appearance or a moment in time.

 

[ktlm]

In an attempt to stimulate some critical thinking and respectful discussion, I have a link to my friend's blog, where she writes about some incidents she recently witnessed of parents essentially bullying their children (which is a popular form of "parenting").

I encourage you to read and discuss. Many threads on this board turn into this debate anyway, so let's call a spade a spade and try to discuss in a respectful manner.



WEDNESDAY, JULY 7, 2010

Children are people too! Or, why some people should not be allowed to breed
I was sitting in the bleachers (why are they called bleachers?) watching my son's swimming lesson when my attention was captured by a family sitting behind me.

"Skyler*! Quit it! You're not in swimming lessons! You'll do swimming lessons when you're older."

I turned around to see a woman scolding a toddler who had the audacity to be climbing down the bleachers. Hmm, I thought. Well, maybe in some way she's trying to placate him with future fulfillment since he obviously wants to get in the pool but can't right now, though he does not appear old enough to have the cognitive abilities to understand what she's saying, much less comprehend getting to swim a few years from now.


Dear Blogger, did it ever occur to you that this child is clearly climbing all over the bleachers to try to get away from his mother and jump in the pool? My DD would have been trying that. Would you rather, she have let the toddler fall off the bleachers and fracture his skull, or climb down the bleachers and jump into the pool on his own and drown? By the way at DD's swim lessons last week, we watched a set of parents have to jump in the pool in all their clothes to fish their kid out. Not a good situation

It only got worse. Sitting with the mom and toddler was another little boy who appeared to be the same age, a little girl a year or two older, and a man. Then horror of horrors, the first little boy pushed a train he was playing with off the edge of one bleacher and onto the platform below. "Skyler! You drop that again, you're gonna go sit in the van with Dad!" An older boy nearby picked up the train and handed it back. "Say thank you," the mom prompted. "Say thank you!"

Good God, can that child even talk?

On and on: "Don't stand up! Don't drop that! Sit still!"

Do you people realize that you're at a swimming pool and not a monastery? And have you noticed what age your children are? I think your standards of decorum might be a tad extreme.

Dear Blogger. Do you know how many times that child had intentionally dropped/pushed that train and expected his father to pick it up for him that day, or how many times he might have pushed or knocked that train into an unrelated person. If you don't, you can't blame the Dad for being slightly annoyed. For example, after telling our child to quit kicking the seat of the person in front of them 15 times on an airplane or at a move or show, I tend to become annoyed. Also, Do you teach your children to say thank you? If not, how on earth do you expect them to learn when it is appropriate and needs to be said. I love it when a parent is observed teaching their child to have some actual manners.

The blogger doesn't appear to personally know these kids or their parents. I think the blog is overly critical and judgmental. The above situations do not necessarily look like bullying to me.

 

[jojomoore]

A few days ago, i took my 10 yr old daughter to dance lessons. The building is beside a busy 4 lane highway. Before I pulled out of the dance drive into the highway, i made sure no cars were in my way. Less than a minute later a driver of a white car blew the horn at me. I did not pull out in front of this car. I guess i was not going fast enough. But i was going as fast as i could having just pulled out of a business parking lot. I immediately thought to myself "I wish people would put themselves in other peoples shoes or try to understand a situation before they jump to judgement." I am still irritated days later at this inconsiderate driver. This blogger is jumping to judgement.

I do feel guilty when i discipline my daughter in public. But I know, at times, it is necessary to do this. When you are dealing with toddlers, its imperative to discipline at the time of incident. They will not understand discipline at a later time.

I think it is important to teach our children that every action has a reaction or a consequence. However, our children's ability to understand consequences is not fully developed until well into adult hood, so they do need parents to teach them what they should and should not do.

 

[tinacaplan]

When I first started reading this post, I braced myself for the worst. Because I have heard parents really berate their children, telling them to shut up and much, much worse, including swearing at their kids. Now that there is no excuse for. What the blogger desrcribes, however, I have to say is just parenting. And parenting a toddler is not always easy and no adult is so perfect as to say they've never lost their patience. And yes, I remind my three year old son to say "please" and "thank you," all the time.

As a teacher and a parent, believe me, kids of all ages need limits. As a parent, it is not our job to constantly placate our children and sometimes they may act up because of it. That's perfectly normal, all the way around.

 

[loveallflorida]

After 3 years of lurking on the boards I have come forward to say "thank-you!" to the wonderful teachers that I hope the children of the OP and Blogger get when they are in school. It will fall on you to teach them the discipline and respect that their parents failed to give them. Thank you teachers for all that you do. I looked back at some of the OP other posts, didn't want to judge her by just this one. I agree with the majority of the other people who posted. Quit being judgemental and try parenting your own children. Parents yelling at their kids in public is one thing, people correcting their children in public is good parenting.