Can a stirred pot create delicious conversation?

[tinkerbelletreasure]

Just have to say on the "can the kid even talk?" My son is almost 3 and nearly nonverbal, but I still prompt him to say please and thank you so that when he does learn to talk, he will know when it is appropriate to say those things.

 

[tinkerbelletreasure]

I guess I"m going to come on the other side. I have heard parents talking to their kids like this and I think it's sad. There are ways to control your kids without being mean about it. I was at a soccer game the other day and through the whole game a mom was constantly getting on to her 2 little girls for every little thing they were doing. Sometimes you have to choose what to get on to them about. What I mean is if you are constantly getting on to them they are going to learn to tune you out anyways. Choose the most important things and leave the rest alone.

What does that do besides teach kids that it is ok to misbehave as long as it isn't anything big?
I'm not saying yell at the kids or anything, but I am probably one of teh parents you look down on because I do correct even little things my kids do wrong in public. It's about consistancy. And I think far too many parents are guilty of tuning their kids out and letting them do what they want than the other way around.

 

[leahjade]

I guess original poster is one of those moms who thinks it's cute when her children run all over the place screaming and disturbing others. I'm more shocked at the lax liberal parenting that I see way too often then the corrective. instructive methods used in the blog. We can no longer go to a lot of theaters or restaurants because of "new age" parents who will never correct an unruly child who is allowed to run rampant. Believe me, it will no longer be cute when these children are in school and won't sit still and be quiet (oh I guess we'll just prescribe Ritalin then!).

 

[heatherleigh]

Just have to say on the "can the kid even talk?" My son is almost 3 and nearly nonverbal, but I still prompt him to say please and thank you so that when he does learn to talk, he will know when it is appropriate to say those things.

This is true for our family. My two oldest were speech delayed, and the therapist told me to practice "modeling" by saying those words for them. It really seemed to help.

LeahJ, I couldn't agree with you more.

People are so quick to judge when someone is not parenting what them deem to be the "right way". These days, someone will turn you in or report you for not changing a baby's pee diaper within 1 minute after they wet it.

Consistency is so important with children. They aren't adults where you "pick & choose your battles". Gosh, I remember my mom getting onto me about making irritating noises or just being annoying (bouncing or hopping). Those can be considered petty to some, but I think it is important. Kids need to learn about appropriateness and behavior.

If anyone is interested, here is a link to my friend's blog. Kind of irrelevant, except that we are talking about blogs: http://finnskimo.blogspot.com/

 

[kathyell]

Yeah, I'm sorry, but when we are out in the world and we witness a tiny portion of one person's interactions with their kid, it doesn't make us an expert on how that person is all the time, nor do we know everything about what might be going on for that family just then.

It's easy to jump to conclusions and judge other people, but I think if you can't make anything constructive out of it, just leave it alone. If it makes you internally thoughtful about how you might handle a similar situation with your kids and that leads you somewhere constructive for you I think that's fine, but when stories like this are presented to a wider audience, it always smacks a little of, "look at that bad parent (who I know nothing about) over there, and if I can see what a bad parent they are, that must mean I'm a better parent than them."

And for the record, I think it's extremely easy for people, for GOOD people, to fall into that trap. It is part of human nature to compare and contrast and make judgments, if only to keep track of what's going on around us and how we might react in another person's situation. It's just far too easy for the whole thing to become gossipy, even if it wasn't the original intent.

(And what a sad story, DISNEYFOS. That is a perfect example of how we so very rarely understand the behavior of the people around us as well as we think we do.)

 

[RN01]

I dont' see anywhere in the bloggers note that she says she lets her kids run wild. Talk about judging someone....

 

[MomtoAlexnWilliam]

I am really happy that Disboards bleeped out her blog title. That is an inappropriate word to use in a family setting like this!

I didn't go to her blog...is it all about judging other people's parenting styles? If so, that sounds like an awful way to spend your free time.

Nothing she repeated in her blog sounded abusive. Sure it might have sounded like the parents were tired and snappy (if the blogger is giving a true assessment of the situation) but we all have our moments -- this could have been their less than stellar one.

 

[Scurvy]

I dont' see anywhere in the bloggers note that she says she lets her kids run wild. Talk about judging someone....

I think it's completely reasonable for us to form impressions of the blogger and her "parenting" style based on the rant that she wrote. Everything she objected to and called "bullying" is something that any normal parent would do. She was appalled that a parent wouldn't let her toddler crawl down the bleachers. She objected to a parent telling a child not to keep dropping a train over the side of the bleachers. She objected to a toddler being taught to say "Thank you". She even went so far as to say that people who do those things shouldn't breed. Based on that, I think it's logical to assume that she wouldn't do those things. In fact it sounds as though she feels that children should be treated like tiny little adults, and allowed to do their own thing, rather than being taught appropriate behavior by their parents. I've been around parents who felt that way, and their children were little terrors who did whatever they wanted whenever they wanted. I wouldn't be surprised to find that this woman's child was the same way, unless the whole thing was fiction and she's just another of those bloggers who posts outragious things in an attempt to stir up controversy and drum up blog views.

OP, did you really think the blog title was appropriate for someplace like the Disboards? Seriously? I can't believe you were suprised it was *'d out!

 

[ekball]

I personally find it pathetic when some takes a moment out of another persons life and judges them and their parenting. What would be more helpful is to support other parents rather than writing blogs about them.

I would just tell your friend with the blog..that she should focus on herself and her family and thank god or whoever that they are healthy..and leave the judging to him.

Thanks

Amen!

 

[bwilcox]

What gives the blogger the right to judge parents based on seeing them for 15 minutes? Unless of course the blogger is a PERFECT mother. I see no bullying in what the parents were doing. Nobody is a perfect parent all of the time.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

Eh. Doesn't sound like a person I would hang out with. Or that I'd bother reading her blog.

 

[hildarumpole]

I dont' see anywhere in the bloggers note that she says she lets her kids run wild. Talk about judging someone....

Of course she doesn't mention her own kids. She's too busy monitoring all the other kids and their parents.

 

[deerhart]

That blogger sounds like she doesn't really understand the concept of parenting, which is unfortunate since she has a child. Toddlers climbing on bleachers is a recipe for disaster, as the mom whose kid fractured his skull at a football game I went to found out.

hehe Im another who ended up with 2 stitches and a lovely scar on the top of my head after busting a whole in my skull at the age of 3 running under the bleachers and slamming my head into a screw (of course my mom told me over and over not to and I got away and took off)


this is a dang if you do dang if you don't. I bet the blogger would have complained about the parent NOT telling their child to do all this and letting them run wild just as much

Oh and YES I am the parent that is always on both her boys with What do you say, if the please, thank you, your welcome, I'm sorry doesn't come out promptly. And the dropped toy, gosh that mom is nice and let the kid KEEP it. My family, it would be gone after dropping it 2 or 3 times.

 

[Shleedogg]

I think I'd be more apt to judge the parenting of the blogger. How many of your toddlers drop things as part of a game? Mine does. Drop, Mommy picks it up, drop, Mommy picks it up, etc. I've said to her many times, "if you drop it again, it's all gone." Am I bad parent for setting boundaries?

The parent doesn't want her toddler to run down the bleachers? Toward a swimming pool? Oh the horror, yes, call CPS!

Sometimes my DD remembers to say thank you for things, sometimes not. If she doesn't, I do prompt her.

Maybe this woman's tone was harsher, but based on the way the blogger wrote it, it doesn't sound bad to me. Plus we all have off days. I can imagine if I was trying to corral multiple little kids on bleachers near the danger of a swimming pool, I'd be on edge too.

The blogger sounds like the kind of parent that lets their kids do whatever they want with the "kids will be kids" mentality. That's what I call bad parenting.

I remember once being in the grocery store with my dad when I was about 8. We witnessed a mom yelling at her kid, ok it happens. Then we witnessed the mom basically dragging the kid by his arm. Then she started to hit him. My dad went up and confronted her. That's a situation where I think you can be judgmental. This one? I think not.

 

[Missy1961]

Part of me wonders if the OP is the blogger.

 

[Nettaboo]

Part of me wonders if the OP is the blogger.

THIS!!! And a trouble starter!!

 

[tinkerbelletreasure]

does make you wonder since she hasn't been back to "discuss" it.

 

[delmar411]

I don't think anything that the blogger observed was really that extreme. His/Her writing style didn't really strike me either, it came off as very whiney & dramatic. All that considered...

Toddlers can get annoying pretty fast; the constant picking up of their dropped toys, the costant reminders on how to act in each individual situation, etc. etc. and especially because they are constantly testing their limits! I can't imagine having an older child in swimming lessons & having to stay in the bleachers, and keep my toddler entertained! Just shoot me now!

While the blogger was relaxing & people watching while her child (ONLY child, it sounds like) was in swimming lessons, the parents in question behind her were trying to keep their toddlers from doing things like tumbling down the bleachers & annoying the sh*t out of everybody else there. I'm sure it was hot too. All things combined equal a stressful situation.

Dear Blogger,

Lighten Up, and mind your own business.

Thanks!

some people have way too much time on their hands. The parent sounds like me on a frazzling day. Kids are hard work and not everyone can be calm all the time. I give the mom lots of credit for even enrolling the older child in swim lessons. I couldn't handle it until all 3 of the little ones were old enough to take lessons.

 

[epcotprincess]

Part of me wonders if the OP is the blogger.

One can only hope this is the case. That way, she will for sure take notice that nearly everyone thinks the blog entry is ridiculous, judgmental, and does not paint her in a flattering light in any way, and perhaps she will reconsider logging in when she gets the itch to blog about others.

People judge parents for just about everything... we deal with it from day one (breast vs. bottle, cloth vs. disposable diapers, stay at home vs. working mom, and so on.) But people judging parents for actually parenting? Now I've seen it all.

 

[Zeebs]

Can I just thank you....

I read the first part and thought hey that sounds like me, great I am about to be slammed for my parenting style again.

But NOPE almost all of us do it.

I feel so much better.

Now off to yell abit at my children

Kirsten