Wilmington is a great small city - about 100,000 people. We have reasonable shopping here and lots of restaurants, but most of my favorites are in Raleigh (Nordstrom, Macy's, The
Disney Store 
). We just got a Whole Foods, and we are getting a Trader Joe's, so we're coming along.

Wilmington is two hours from Raleigh - an easy drive up I-40 for shopping, concerts, etc.
Housing is plentiful in Wilmington if you are looking to buy. Renting near the beach might be a problem (you can get some off-season rentals from September-May), but renting inland is fine. Housing prices vary widely based on proximity to the beach. We are about 10 minutes to Wrightsville Beach, so cost per square foot in our neighborhood is higher than the cost in Hampstead or Leland. You can easily get an affordable house 30 minutes from the beach, depending where in New York you are coming from and what kind of prices you are used to. We used to live in Albany and find the housing cheaper here, but Wilmington near the beach is still expensive by Southern standards.
Wilmington has some industry (GE, Corning), but the big employers are UNCW, the county schools and the hospital system. Many of our friends are small business owners or realtors - the local saying is you can't throw a rock without hitting twenty realtors.
We would probably live near Raleigh if we didn't live here. The job market is probably better in the Raleigh area, particularly if you are science or education-oriented. I also like Charlotte a lot, but you would be about 4 hours to the beach. Charlotte has large banking presence, but not as much actual industry. Other reasonably sized cities include Greensboro and Winston-Salem, but you wouldn't be close to the beach.
Moving into SC, Charleston is probably your best bet. I think it is more expensive than Wilmington, but it is beautiful and we love to visit. SC doesn't have many larger coastal cities (except Myrtle Beach and Charleston) - much of the population of SC is in Charleston, Greenville/Spartanburg, and Columbia, as well as near Charlotte on the SC side of the line.
Feel free to PM me if you have any questions.
