Called into the Teacher's Office- New Update Page 6

[ROIE01581]

We had my granddaughter tested last year outside of the school, just to get the school to pay attention. Then they tested her and now a year later they are still deciding what they are going to do. No way do they give a 1st grader an aid to do "special projects".

I can see the taking of 2nd grade spelling, but anything else is not done without testing.

My other granddaughter does that with reading she went to 2nd grade reading when she was in first.

And just because the 1st grader knew the shapes does not mean she is more advanced in spelling, reading and math.

 

[monsterkitty]

Wow, as a teacher, I can tell you that if they pulled an aide from another classroom to help just one other student with special projects, I would be very cranky. I have four highly challenged students in a class of 38 and they can't find a para to follow these poor kids to regular classes, let alone an elective class like mine. Heads would roll in our school if one child, who was was seemingly only one year above grade level, was given an aide (para) before the high needs kids.

No wonder the principal is upset with this plan.

 

[phinsphan]

WOW as a former teacher and a current behavior health aide I cannot believe the school pulled an aide from another class just to help YOUR child. That is unheard of at least here. We had a parent want special opportunities for their "special" child and they were told they could either step in and help in the classroom each day OR they could pay the $$ out of their own pocket and hire an aide just for their child.

I just don't see the "need" for your child to have a 1 on 1 aide. Sorry but I don't. I've been a teacher and am now a paraprofessional dealing with IEP's, 504s and resource and I have to say that if they did indeed pull an aide just to help your child I'd be PO'D to be that aide.

I'm sure your child is a lovely child but sorry I don't buy your child NEEDS an aide!! That's why YOU are the parent and why the schools and teachers are NOT surrogate parents!

Good luck to your child throughout their education.

 

[tar heel]

I seem to recall that you're in North Carolina? Are you in some tiny area? I ask b/c I've never known a child to be skipped here (knew one growing up in a rural area), but have known plenty who started K reading on fourth or fifth grade level, doing advanced math, etc. It would be extremely unusual to only have one child at a grade level who needed to go up a level in spelling or knew shapes. Teachers group in the classroom and among other kids on the grade, send groups to the next grade level, get informal advice from the AG teacher, etc. If the classroom teacher is commited, it works well enough and is much more appropriate for a first grader than projects working with an aide IMO.

Since we've mentioned spelling, and at the risk of being snarky, let me offer my lesson for remembering the difference between "principal" and "principle." Think of the leader of the school as your pal, then you'll always remember to spell it correctly.

 

[Mom2Nick]

Something seems off here. If the Principal is not supporting this and there's no IEP in place dictating that your child needs this Aide - then the Principal has the right to take that Aide away. A Principal is never in a position where they would have to put up with something like this without that legally binding IEP........

I cannot even begin to imagine the problems and legal ramifications of a school pulling and Aide and just handing them over to one child who doesn't even have an IEP of a kind in place. If this is in fact a new hire like you also said in another post then that also is NOT going to happen without a legally binding agreement in place - which is only done after evaluations are done and the need is determined.

Schools are not in a habit of pissing money away unless they have absolutely no other choice. Sorry but something smells very fishy here.

 

[RitaE]

I have to imagine the legal ramifications are going to come into effect when other parents discover that one single child is being provided with a specialized education which will give that child an educational advantage and that the same services are not being offered to other children in the School District with similar educational needs and abilities.

In fact, I'm rather sure that is one reason a Principal would be against such an idea, the discriminatory nature of it could prove quite costly in the end.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

I hope your child gets what she really needs but I am very sorry because I do not believe for a minute that they assigned your child a TA to do research projects with her. It simply would not happen. You would have had to have a formal testing/evaluation, a meeting, and then an IEP in place. Especially since you said that TA's were in short supply in your district I am less inclined to believe this. I am not trying to be rude OP but I think you are leaving a lot out of this story. As for the assesment that you mentioned, well it sounds like she just had the kindergarten readiness assesment that all kids get. Even if they wanted to skip your child there would have been more formal testing. Being a great speller or reader is not the only basis for skipping a grade. Many children read way above grade level. I wish you the best and hope that it all works out for your child but I still believe that there is quite a bit more to all this. Good luck.

ETA- I wanted to address the shapes thing. When my DD was 3 she could identify shapes such as a prism, trapezoid, rhombus etc. They teach that at pre-school these days. I can't lie- I sometimes had to ask her what they shape was!lol!

 

[Mouse House Mama]

I have to imagine the legal ramifications are going to come into effect when other parents discover that one single child is being provided with a specialized education which will give that child an educational advantage and that the same services are not being offered to other children in the School District with similar educational needs and abilities.

In fact, I'm rather sure that is one reason a Principal would be against such an idea, the discriminatory nature of it could prove quite costly in the end.

Exactly. The principal would never have okayed it for this very reason. Nor would have the board.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

I know these women (she is going into her 5th year of dance). Some are not like that. Some are sweet and brilliant moms but a lot of them at our studio are constantly trying to compare children to make sure theirs is the best. They measured for costumes and someone got a list of the measurements and were all "OMG. Look at Jenny's waist! Its so tiny. I need to stop letting Sally have ice cream." No, I am not kidding.

Her dance teachers are outstanding, the kids are wonderful but its a group of moms that really puts me off her studio. There is a small wonderful subset that loves to encourage all of the girls but the others... they are always worried about why so and so got a spotlight part and not their child. Why this one was able to go into AIG and not their DD (who they tell you is so much smarter than so and so).

I have lived in Texas for years (Houston and San Antonio) and I never came across parents that are harsh or would "put me in my place". I really feel bad that you live in an area like that. How is that healthy? I came her for advice because I do worry and I do feel pressured. I am sorry that I somehow made you upset.

-Becca-

Why would you want your dd in this environment? Dance schools are all over the place. I would look for one that has a better environment. If she is going to make friends with these girls then she will be around their competitive parents. Why not put her somewhere with less pressure? I can't even imagine parents making comments about a child's waist size! I danced competitively and I never had parents like that. Isn't your child 6? How is she in her 5th year of dance? You mention that she is a perfectionist etc., but I really think from what you have posted that she has way too much pressure on her to be so. 12 hours of dance a week? She may love it but from what you have posted it seems to have lost it's positive spin. I wish you the best, truly I do but I really get a feeling that she feels like she is under a lot of pressure to succeed based on what you have posted. Again- I am basing this on what you have posted. Good luck.

 

[okeydokey]

Wow, as a teacher, I can tell you that if they pulled an aide from another classroom to help just one other student with special projects, I would be very cranky. I have four highly challenged students in a class of 38 and they can't find a para to follow these poor kids to regular classes, let alone an elective class like mine. Heads would roll in our school if one child, who was was seemingly only one year above grade level, was given an aide (para) before the high needs kids.

No wonder the principal is upset with this plan.

Holy Cow, you have 38 in your class? What grade?

 

[emdav]

Was the principal at this meeting? I don't understand.

 

[LisainCalifornia]

Sorry, this is a little off topic, but you need to know that Principal is spelled just like that---not Principle. Just remember that the principal is your "pal".

I have to admit that this situation sounds very unlikely. I have 2 kids with IEP's, and getting an aide is very difficult these days. They don't typically assign an aide without having an IEP meeting and submitting a request for one to the school district. Everyone has to be on board with it and paperwork has to be submitted in an offical manner. Public schools today are highly regulated in this manner.

I live in a very good school district in the Bay Area (in California) and there are some kids who are considered very advanced for their age, but they are never pulled from class and taught by aides. The aides are reserved for the profoundly special needs students.

 

[AmazingGrace]

I'm sorry. I have a hard time believing this whole post. To me, the original post sounds like a desperate cry for attention or just plain bragging. "Oh, woe is me. My child is so special, so much better than everyone else. i don't know what to do!!" Then everyone else jumps in, as if on cue, and pats mom on the back and tells her how wonderful she and her child are. And now a special assistant just for her child?? Umm, I've never heard of that happening without a IEP or soomething official.

 

[Buckalew11]

I think the two weeks in a higher level classroom that someone else suggested may be a good way to test the waters with her.

While she may be a bit off socially, if she is truly that bright it will continue to make her stand-out to other children through the entirety of her school career. She will always be the odd 'brainiac'. (Been there, done that) What ages are the friends she has now? Does she gravitate to friends a bit older than her?

Perhaps some of the social trouble she has in school is because kids in her grade don't "get" her. I once took care of a very bright little girl who had a lot of trouble in school because NOBODY else understood what she was talking about. She was into different things than the other kids. She was polite, nice, and sweet... but on a different level. When she was around older children they "got" her and she had a much easier time making friends.

Talk to Cat about this. Ask what her opinions are. If she is such a clever girl you can give her some pro's and con's to this and maybe ask if she would like to try out the other grade. She will ALWAYS stand out for her intelligence. Keeping her in her peer group will not change that. However if she gets too bored being below her level, or if all the other kids start believing that 'Cat thinks she is so much better than us', than her life at school could become diffcult. If you are going to skip do it in the early grades.... That way as the kids age she will have always been there. Most won't remember she was skipped a grade.

Talk to Cat about it, see how she feels. Your mom pushed you nto perfection and you resented it. Try not to hold her back because you are afraid of pushing... just let her lead.

I would like to give you a different perspective from somebody who has been in a similar situation.

I was your daughter. I was considered very gifted, and generally light years ahead of my classmates. The classic teacher's pet, self driven learner, perfectionist, etc. I qualified for the gifted program immediately, but it was enrichment, not a substitute for curriculum that really was too easy for me. My parents presented it to me as the alternative to skipping grades- I believe it may have been suggested to them. I did not end up skipping in elementary school.

It worked out for me because I went to a small elementary school with teachers that went out of their way to keep me engaged and challenged. I spent a lot of time with the librarian instead of in the classroom, and the even added an honor's reading group so that I would be challenged. It would not have worked for me if I had not had such wonderful teachers.

I tended to have friends who were younger than me (kid who lived in the neighborhood) and was the natural leader. I related better to adults than my age level peers because in maturity and intelligence I was several years ahead. I did have friends my age, but was never considered popular. Basically, I was the Hermione Granger of my school.

A lot changed when I started middle school. My teachers no longer had the option of providing the amount of enrichment I had in elementary school. I still had amazing teachers, such as my eighth grade language arts teacher who allowed me to read my own books instead of the class books I had literally read in the second grade. It wasn't enough, and I ended up skipping the 10-12th grades and started college when I was 15 through the Program for the Exceptionally Gifted (PEG) at Mary Baldwin College.

While we lived in a separate dorm, we had the same academic requirements as the traditional college students, and the majority of my friends were traditional students, not the PEGs who were my same age.

I do not regret that my parents didn't skip me, but I do wonder what would have happened. Would I have felt the need to skip high school? I am technically a drop out- no GED or diploma but I do have a B.A. and soon an MAE. Would I have stood out less, been less of a target for bullies if I were with my intellectual peers? I have no doubt I would have made friends even though it may have been awkward at first.

Please, do not discount the idea just because of social factors. Speaking from experience, the social factors will fall into place easier than you may realize. After a month or so, most kids won't even remember or care that your daughter is younger unless she constantly reminds them. If it had not been for teachers who went above and beyond, I would have been lost to the boredom. Not every school has that luxury, it sounds like yours may not be able to accommodate her the way mine did for me. Please consider doing what is academically appropriate for your daughter. On her current path, it will only get worse as she gets older and continues to outpace her peers.

I have a dd like this.

OP, I am not sure why you are so adament about not advancing her a grade (or 2?). I wish we would have. Our school's guidance counselor called me last year and told me that she and my DD talked about moving her up a grade but that our small, private school just could not do it on the HS level (she was 8th last year). I think we should have done it in elementary school. I was not open to it on the HS level really. DD's b-day is Feb. and the strange thing is, 50% of her class were almost 1 whole year older than she was because of how people hold their kids back nowadays. That didn't even help.

Anyway, I think you should be open to a move up.
They may have told you they were assigning this TA to your DD for extra help/challenges but as all these folks have said, it is doubtful. Maybe you'll just have to see how it goes for your DD in the days ahead.

I think you should rethink the dance thing though (and it is truly NOMB). It sounds like a lot of time and pressure on a kid who really doesn't need extra because she puts pressure on herself. Common for a first-born. I stay far away from moms like that and my town is hopping with them! Mine's a freshman this year, homeschooling for the first year and is off with the college to an away football game in AL for the weekend. She's a student trainer and she's friends with the other girls who are student trainers--except they are college aged. It's who she is. I know she is safe and having a blast with them. (She is with the head trainer who is driving them and will be with DD all weekend--just so no one thinks she's only with college students.)

 

[famofsix]

I am glad the school is willing to help and the teacher is being an advocate for you. In many districts children that are G and T do not qualify for special services. Hopefully this TA you mentioned has a block of time free to assist your daughter and fulfill the needs of the other students. It is always good when the school works with you but it is alarming that the principal is not on board with the plan.

 

[Teacher03]

OP, I haven't read all the responses, but I wanted to comment on your daughter's dance schedule. This is only my daughter's experience, and I am only sharing it because my daughter sounds alot like yours when she was her age. She also was (is) very talented in dance. She started competition when she was five years old, and won many titles, overall awards, both in solo and groups, and scholarships. She loved it, and kept adding more and more classes. Fast forward 10 years to her freshman year of high school and she was totally burned out and suddenly quit one month into competition season. I cannot tell you how many things she missed as a result of having dance competitions every weekend. Friends would stop calling because they knew she always had dance class or a competition. She would be up till 1:00 or 2:00 in the morning finishing homework because she had dance class all evening. And we both know that dance studios frown on missing classes and heaven forbid, a competition. I knew it wasn't healthy for her, but since she loved it and was so talented, I thought I was doing the right thing by allowing her to continue. Looking back, I realized what a mistake I made. I wish I would have moved her to a studio that focused on the art of dance, and after ten years of dance and over 75 dance competitions, I do not know one dance competition that focuses on the art of dance. And don't even get me started on the money....I should have been putting that money away for her college education. After she quit, she was a happier and healthier girl. She continued to dance, was on a hip hop team, did choreography, and is now a cheerleader in college. Quitting competition dance was the best thing that she could have done. Like I said, this is only our experience, so take out of it what you like, if anything. Your daughter sounds like a beautiful little girl, but I would hate her to feel the stress and pressure that my daughter went through.

 

[Tinkerbelle's Mom]

OP, I haven't read all the responses, but I wanted to comment on your daughter's dance schedule. This is only my daughter's experience, and I am only sharing it because my daughter sounds alot like yours when she was her age. She also was (is) very talented in dance. She started competition when she was five years old, and won many titles, overall awards, both in solo and groups, and scholarships. She loved it, and kept adding more and more classes. Fast forward 10 years to her freshman year of high school and she was totally burned out and suddenly quit one month into competition season. I cannot tell you how many things she missed as a result of having dance competitions every weekend. Friends would stop calling because they knew she always had dance class or a competition. She would be up till 1:00 or 2:00 in the morning finishing homework because she had dance class all evening. And we both know that dance studios frown on missing classes and heaven forbid, a competition. I knew it wasn't healthy for her, but since she loved it and was so talented, I thought I was doing the right thing by allowing her to continue. Looking back, I realized what a mistake I made. I wish I would have moved her to a studio that focused on the art of dance, and after ten years of dance and over 75 dance competitions, I do not know one dance competition that focuses on the art of dance. And don't even get me started on the money....I should have been putting that money away for her college education. After she quit, she was a happier and healthier girl. She continued to dance, was on a hip hop team, did choreography, and is now a cheerleader in college. Quitting competition dance was the best thing that she could have done. Like I said, this is only our experience, so take out of it what you like, if anything. Your daughter sounds like a beautiful little girl, but I would hate her to feel the stress and pressure that my daughter went through.

I moved my dd 7 from a competition motivated dance studio to a studio focusing on the art of ballet. It has been the best thing ever! The offer a wide variety of programs for a wide range of dancers. They do have a company but there is no pressure to join. They teach dance for the love of it and the art of it. In no way are they perfectionists about it.

My dd loves it. Last year she auditioned and was able to be a starfish in the little mermaid in addition to the end of the year recital.

I love that there is no pressure to be perfect.

 

[Teacher03]

I moved my dd 7 from a competition motivated dance studio to a studio focusing on the art of ballet. It has been the best thing ever! The offer a wide variety of programs for a wide range of dancers. They do have a company but there is no pressure to join. They teach dance for the love of it and the art of it. In no way are they perfectionists about it.

My dd loves it. Last year she auditioned and was able to be a starfish in the little mermaid in addition to the end of the year recital.

I love that there is no pressure to be perfect.

This is exactly what I wish I would have done. Good luck to your daughter, I'm glad she loves it.

 

[Magic Mom]

She already works at the school. I am guessing because they pulled her most likely from another classroom (we are lacking Teacher Assistants right now).

A school pulled an aide from an entire class of kids to help 1 Kindergartener who wasn't challenged enough after a couple of weeks in school????
That's either a joke or the worst run school in America.

 

[sunnyday123]

They had that program all set and ready to go for this year. My DD was one of five students in it- but then they cancelled it. Apparently once word got out every parent was calling the office wanting to know why little Johnny or Susie wasn't invited to be in it, regardless if they could understand the material. Then one of the mom's want to the school board and said it would upset her child to watch the others go off to another classroom and not be invited to go. In reality it would have been hard for the mom.

I really hope they may try to start it back up again. It had sounded perfect.

-Becca-

I think that mom is a moron. Sorry, first word that came to me when I read that!! I understand getting upset if they are pushing this on you, but remember she is your daughter, so she follows your rules. Period. Thank them, then tell them no she is not moving up a year. An extra class, maybe. My DD is like yours, everything has to be perfect. She get's straight A's, but the A's are "high" enough. I've never had to say I've never had to tell her to do her homework or study for a test, and I'm not allowed to make ANY noise when she does her homework...

I really would stand firm on not moving her up a year. She might be ready academically, but socially is another thing all together. I started K when I was four ( I could read, write and do basic addition ) and by the time I started high school at 13, it was horrible. I looked 13 and I was so worried about fitting in with everyone that was 14 almost 15 that I completely neglected school. At our reunion, I was introduced to everyones SO as "the youngest person in our class". I know our local University has enrichment programs for kids, I would look into things like that for her. Keep her with her friends and her age group.