Buying things for your kids: the other side of the story...

[sk!mom]

I had another reason for not giving my teens a spending allowance. Ready cash can be spent too easily on the wrong things (ie drugs and alcohol).

I know that none of us wants to believe that our darling snowflake is capable of that kind of behavior. But the honest truth is, they are ALL capable of that kind of behavior.

I'm on the other thread and my DD15 does receive a personal budget each month but none in cash. She has a student account with DH and I both on it and uses a debit card. One of the benefits has been that we can track her spending so well this way. She could go to an ATM for cash but she rarely does. She withdrew $20 a month ago to buy a $2 football ticket and mentioned this morning that she still had $15 cash that would cover tonight's Homecoming game. If she starts withdrawing cash frequently it will be noticed immediatly.

Oh, and my DD is a darling Snowflake (just cast Monday as a Snowlake in The Nutcracker)

 

[MrsPete]

I don't claim that my method is a silver bullet to prevent alcohol and drug abuse. It just makes it that much harder for a kid to purchase those items if they have no cash. I'm not naive enough to believe that my creative genius is incapable of devising a way around this if he wants to. We have had many conversations about substance abuse. And unfortunately, there have been a couple of drug-related deaths and alcohol-related tragedies among the youth in our community that have served as real-life examples for my sermons.

Oh, I get where you're coming from: No cash is one weapon in your arsenal. My point is not to rely upon any one thing, no matter how strong. None of us can ever say, "My child will never ____ because I have ____."

I generally let them buy what they want with it. However, DS 13, just bought "the most anticipated game of the year"(he keeps quoting the commercial for Gears of war 3), this week. The game would have cost $60, but he had to have some limited edition thing that came with a statue and some other stuff and cost $160. I tried to talk him out of it, as $100 extra is a lot of money for a bunch of crap that he was getting, but he was insistant. He saved his allowance and lawn mowing money to buy it. By now, I'm thinking he's kicking himself as the other "stuff" is still in the box.

Some kids figure these things out quickly & easily, while others have to learn the hard way (or maybe I should say, the expensive way). My kids each made some bonehead purchases when they were younger (and which of us can say we never make a regretable purchase NOW as adults?), but they learned from them -- they spend more wisely now. I'd be very concerned, however, if the child continued to do these things over and over; I'd be concerned if the child didn't seem to learn from his mistakes.

 

[njmom47]

We tried/try to stick to this: if the kids NEED it, we'll pay; if they WANT it, they'll pay/we'll put $ towards it. It's a bit trickier as they get older though.
Never did give them an allowance either.